I will appreciate any insights don't worry and express your opinions openly. Thank you for help
I very much like being creative mostly in artistic ways. I like to sing, play an instrument, write, act and I also like fashion, I like to create my own styles, combinations to express myself among others. I use art mostly to express my feelings, it's like a ventil for me and my emotions. Usually I am the best at arts where language and words are used, but I deeply sucked at any arts where I have to use my body, hands, or just do something physically as I am really very clumsy and have often troubles with controling my movements.
I very much like to challenge my mind to think. I am good at breaking problems into parts and getting into the core of ideas, or even people. When I learn I dislike just to memorize, I need to understand the meaning of a subject to learn. I usually break down the problem to create my own new order in which I can understand the theory and look at it from my own angle. I like to recreate statements of theories with my own mind to bring up the message and the general meaning of it. I like to analyze. What is a huge problem for me are immidiate reactions, where I have to think really quickly, count, decide and I am pushed to one way decision. I am usually terrible at this...I am also not very good with metric systems and too strict and concrete logic, that doesn't allow my own explanations.
I've been told many times, that I have very good people instincts and I naturally understand people's needs. I also was told that I am very empathetic and can easily imagine myself in other people's situations. Sometimes I do that to the point I can get easily overwhelmed by them and that often creates an inner tension, or even anxiety inside of myself. I really have good eye on people, I like to get inside of them to understand why they do things they do. I want to know what is hidden by an actions. But I am a terrible care taker...as many times I've been told I am empathic that many times I've been told I am self absorbed and egotistical. And that's true...I put my needs infront of others and usually accept people will retreat. I am can be very dominant when it comes to assert my opinions. Generally I try to be nice to people, but I like to keep some distance from them...I am critical and have high ideals for others, but that comes to contrast with my need for being accepted. There's nothing more I hate than a feel of rejection, but I would never change myself just to make someone like me.
I am very skeptical about the opinions of general population and making my own opinions, be an independent thinker is very important for me. I am usually skeptical and cynical when it comes to beliefs and opinions of mainstream population and usually look for more alternative ideas.
My big problem is that I am extremely sensitive and let my feelings to overwhelm me easily. I can cry easily, but I usually play it "tough" in front of others and I dislike to express my feelings much.
So any ideas?