I've recently moved into a sharehouse with an ILE and an SEI (or IEI, but I'm pretty sure it's the former).
The ILE stipulated that he wanted a sort of communal living arrangement (because he's lived with some really shit antisocial roommates over the years). Naturally, SEI is retreating to her room straight after work. Fair enough, I personally expected this and don't hold it against her.
The real problem is this: she is consistently putting her own wants ahead of the collective needs of the whole group of us (we wanted a housemate listing for a fourth person online the day way moved in, and the internet should have been arranged to be connected by day 3. She's also being very scarcely available to screen new roommates, which is bad because ILE guy is shooting for harmony, which requires a level of assertion from her. It seems like every time some sort of responsibility with the house comes up, she has plans to have dinner with her friends or her writing group. I'm happy for her to go as chill and do what she pleases with her spare time, AFTER the preliminary house concerns are settled. She's striking me as an immature little brat prone to flights of fancy.
In addition to this, any time we do interview a potential housemate, she just parrots my opinion, which worries me, because I've been blindsided and backstabbed by several Fe-egos very soon after they've parroted me.
To be honest, I'm kind of surprised by how selfish and short-sighted she's being. She seems to be getting high off the freedom from her parents and sneakily avoiding any responsibility she can. It's a slap in the face to me and the ILE, who actually give a shit about this place and exercise such wild things as responsibility and consideration outside the self. I've been quite patient with her, and have resisted the urge to
raze her entire face off, but she's pushing it. Even the ILE is losing his patience now.
How do I get this girl to cooperate with us, what additional red flags should I be watching out for? Is this normal or is she just an asshole?