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Thread: cult of identity

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    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    Default cult of identity

    Once I was shocked to realize how every single piece of what I thinks of as my socionic “self” is something that’s been stuck on. Every significant experience, every belief, every identity, every story I tell myself, every agony, every desire, every fear, every hope — I saw, with blinding clarity, that all of it has clung to me, defined me, made itself into something heavy to carry through my travels. And that it all exists in the mind. Every scrap of it.

    But what is a person without memory, belief, fear, longing? What is there if the mental filters of experience and hope are collected into a ball and discarded? Does a solid and continuous thing remain?

    Precious alleged self.

    I am ready.

    Please type me.
    Last edited by wacey; 01-11-2014 at 07:04 PM.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    Awhh, no one even attempts it. Have I alienated you all so much?
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    dude, try with another avatar. nobody here seems to be much fan of your doggie.

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    aww lol. you're EII but i don't really understand the OP.

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    he (it???) wants to be laaavished with typing

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AshSun View Post
    dude, try with another avatar. nobody here seems to be much fan of your doggie.
    The puppy is cute but I think I may get what your sayin'. The avatar appears passive...

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wacey View Post
    But what is a person without memory, belief, fear, longing? What is there if the mental filters of experience and hope are collected into a ball and discarded? Does a solid and continuous thing remain?
    A person without memory... is a clean slate and yes and no to the last part. Energy is not solid until it coalesces into matter. But matter doesn't matter.
    Since I know nothing about you it would be impossible to type you so I leave that to the pros.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    So you've realized you're more than a combination of letters.... props.

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    ■■■■■■ Radio's Avatar
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    EII <3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wacey View Post
    Once I was shocked to realize how every single piece of what I thinks of as my socionic “self” is something that’s been stuck on. Every significant experience, every belief, every identity, every story I tell myself, every agony, every desire, every fear, every hope — I saw, with blinding clarity, that all of it has clung to me, defined me, made itself into something heavy to carry through my travels. And that it all exists in the mind. Every scrap of it.

    But what is a person without memory, belief, fear, longing? What is there if the mental filters of experience and hope are collected into a ball and discarded? Does a solid and continuous thing remain?

    Precious alleged self.

    I am ready.

    Please type me.
    I like your avatar and think you're EII

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wacey View Post
    Once I was shocked to realize how every single piece of what I thinks of as my socionic “self” is something that’s been stuck on. Every significant experience, every belief, every identity, every story I tell myself, every agony, every desire, every fear, every hope — I saw, with blinding clarity, that all of it has clung to me, defined me, made itself into something heavy to carry through my travels. And that it all exists in the mind. Every scrap of it.

    But what is a person without memory, belief, fear, longing? What is there if the mental filters of experience and hope are collected into a ball and discarded? Does a solid and continuous thing remain?

    Precious alleged self.

    I am ready.

    Please type me.
    Well I like your dog avatar. And I like EII for you. You have that strong earnestness and inward directed thoughts that I see in EIIs. I too have had increasingly frequent moments of self realization. For me, it is mostly that what I think of as the real me is something that I have concocted for the moment to make myself socially presentable. That I am saying things to craft an image. But I do really like your dog avatar. I meant that.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    You know what? I still have no idea what type I am. EII is possible. Years of this stuff, then hours and hours spent on this site. This place became just something I did to pass the time.

    I found a place in the real world that satisfies all my personal dreams, and still I search for truth, still I spend my time doing a hobby that has no purpose, and has no proof. God this typology is insipid. Yet, is not all classification what the mind seeks to preform?

    I need to trust the reality right in front of me, and the people in it. I need to trust my own truths, my own experience. I need to stop thinking this person is this type and thus..... this person is this type and that means that........ certainly I need to trust the word of those that I trust when they say stop doing this. There are other more useful ways to pass my time.

    I do not know if I live with my dual. I do not know if my dual is who I think my dual is. If my relationship is thus.....what does that make me?

    I think that for a time, this is goodbye. It has to be. I see no other way. One life is enough, let alone a strange virtual life, a virtual life that brings me no clarity anymore. I wish I had the luxury of living in the cities, surrounded by many avenues to explore. When your best friend for so long is yourself, how do you see anything new?

    It seemed that at a time I had supposed some of you would understand, and some of you did. I recognized that privately, yet failed to show such recognition, and for that I am sorry, one lesson life has taught me is that I need to say how I feel towards someone right away, otherwise I might never have a chance to do so, and you may never know how grateful I am. And gratitude not expressed, or expressed to the moon by yourself is a waste of love. My words have always been directly from my heart as I type them here. You think I say these things in the real world? Hardly, the real world is a treacherous path, and adults the worst travelers.

    I have seen so many unfortunate events unfold. Events that have left me reeling in confusion and doubt. All I know, is that I am still here, I am still breathing. And will continue to do so until the last breath and who needs it!

    You think I am melodramitic, and you would be right. This soul in this human form is dramatic. Thoughts and feelings grip the brain and the mind believes them, sending out a cascade of physical emotions and expressions beyond my control. True control comes from letting go. At least I have the bravery to put myself in front of ridicule and scorn, to find my own freedom. To find the right path, to live the right way. It may not make sense to you. I myself don't understand it, I can't even write it properly here, and see only disjointed sentences, and half baked crack pot answers. I am a broken crack pot, yet I can still hold water, I still work.

    You think the serious quadra means there are no laughs. In fact, deltas are the most goofy types there are. the seriousness comes from a sobriety of heart, where what happens to me holds significance, where things DO matter, where those of us who care say as much. Seriousness meaning sobriety.

    Yet, am I that type? could I be anyone of the ethicals? Certainly not an extrovert, yet certainly not shy in pursing that which is right, no matter what the costs, and I have paid dearly.

    The sun is shining for the first time in a month. Thank-you, so much, even the insignificant comments held weight for me.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

  13. #13
    Olduvai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HereticWacey View Post
    You know what? I still have no idea what type I am. EII is possible. Years of this stuff, then hours and hours spent on this site. This place became just something I did to pass the time.

    I found a place in the real world that satisfies all my personal dreams, and still I search for truth, still I spend my time doing a hobby that has no purpose, and has no proof. God this typology is insipid. Yet, is not all classification what the mind seeks to preform?

    I need to trust the reality right in front of me, and the people in it. I need to trust my own truths, my own experience. I need to stop thinking this person is this type and thus..... this person is this type and that means that........ certainly I need to trust the word of those that I trust when they say stop doing this. There are other more useful ways to pass my time.

    I do not know if I live with my dual. I do not know if my dual is who I think my dual is. If my relationship is thus.....what does that make me?

    I think that for a time, this is goodbye. It has to be. I see no other way. One life is enough, let alone a strange virtual life, a virtual life that brings me no clarity anymore. I wish I had the luxury of living in the cities, surrounded by many avenues to explore. When your best friend for so long is yourself, how do you see anything new?

    It seemed that at a time I had supposed some of you would understand, and some of you did. I recognized that privately, yet failed to show such recognition, and for that I am sorry, one lesson life has taught me is that I need to say how I feel towards someone right away, otherwise I might never have a chance to do so, and you may never know how grateful I am. And gratitude not expressed, or expressed to the moon by yourself is a waste of love. My words have always been directly from my heart as I type them here. You think I say these things in the real world? Hardly, the real world is a treacherous path, and adults the worst travelers.

    I have seen so many unfortunate events unfold. Events that have left me reeling in confusion and doubt. All I know, is that I am still here, I am still breathing. And will continue to do so until the last breath and who needs it!

    You think I am melodramitic, and you would be right. This soul in this human form is dramatic. Thoughts and feelings grip the brain and the mind believes them, sending out a cascade of physical emotions and expressions beyond my control. True control comes from letting go. At least I have the bravery to put myself in front of ridicule and scorn, to find my own freedom. To find the right path, to live the right way. It may not make sense to you. I myself don't understand it, I can't even write it properly here, and see only disjointed sentences, and half baked crack pot answers. I am a broken crack pot, yet I can still hold water, I still work.

    You think the serious quadra means there are no laughs. In fact, deltas are the most goofy types there are. the seriousness comes from a sobriety of heart, where what happens to me holds significance, where things DO matter, where those of us who care say as much. Seriousness meaning sobriety.

    Yet, am I that type? could I be anyone of the ethicals? Certainly not an extrovert, yet certainly not shy in pursing that which is right, no matter what the costs, and I have paid dearly.

    The sun is shining for the first time in a month. Thank-you, so much, even the insignificant comments held weight for me.
    I say EIE

    Edit:
    Filatova gives the best descriptions:
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ption-Filatova
    Last edited by Olduvai; 01-23-2014 at 11:22 PM.

  14. #14
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HereticWacey View Post
    . To find the right path, to live the right way. It may not make sense to you. I myself don't understand it, I can't even write it properly here, and see only disjointed sentences, and half baked crack pot answers. I am a broken crack pot, yet I can still hold water, I still work.
    I feel you did an excellent job expressing yourself. I read you on many levels and I get it.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







  15. #15
    Olduvai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I feel you did an excellent job expressing yourself. I read you on many levels and I get it.
    Would you describe Wacey as "fabulous"?

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johannes Bloem View Post
    Would you describe Wacey as "fabulous"?
    absolutely

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







  17. #17
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    OP makes you sound like an intuitive type.

  18. #18
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    I can see why you would say EIE for sure, going off my posts in this thread. You would be so wrong though. Anyway it doesn't matter, the type me thread was the last thing I wanted to do here regarding my own personality. I held off and held off, and find the ending pretty anti-climatic.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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