How strong is your secondary instinct?

[lemontrees]

I know that enneagram type descriptions say that engagement in the secondary instinct is often wielded towards achieving the goals of the primary, as if they were two separate pieces you wield, but I believe that each stacking is its own organic entity. For instance, I know that getting my "so-fix" will keep me on the threshold of sane, but it can feel like a bare, empty sort of sanity without sx. It's like keeping myself alive simply for the sake of keeping alive, a kind of utilitarian move.

(I ask this b/c, after my moody rant the other day about being totally disengaged, I ran into this sx/so guy who made me feel totally engaged, alive. I *want* things. I *want* that feeling of *wanting*- it's not like I care about the guy but I would want to interact with him just to have the feeling, which is so different from my normal apathy towards men. I normally am not interested in the person but I contemplate seeing them just so I can "collect" an experience that makes me understand more about the world- but b/c of this stance, I often feel not motivated enough to actually engage to the point where I'm experiencing something interesting. Suddenly, I remember what it's like to want the experience itself and not collect it for my mental library of experiences.)

Anyway, I wanted to ask: how strong is your secondary instinct? How much "meaning" do you endow the activities associated with your secondary instinct? How much of your secondary instinct do you need filled to feel fully engaged with your primary instinct?

[Eldanen]

My so is moderately strong. But still dwarfs in comparison to sx for me. And yeah, I do use so quite often only toward the goal of sx. If I'm looking for anything, it's one person to spend a majority of my time with. And possibly disappear with. But for me, so feels empty after a while. The satisfaction of sx is bone deep, while so can keep me alive, but only barely.

[Whoobie77]

For me, sp is like a giant shell which stifles the burning hearth of sx. I just kind of withdraw into my inner sanctum, whether physically or mentally, without even thinking about it, and then sx starts burning from the inside to connect with one person on a deep level...which is hard to do, because you kind of need so to break the ice or whatever.

So yeah, there is a good reason it's compared to Buddhism's hell realm lol.

[mu4]

If I'm sx/sp, I think my sp is keeping me alive while I my sx side eats me. So I'm just being eaten alive.

[ashlesha]

i'm stronger at my secondary instinct while my primary instinct is stronger over me.
first instinct is more of a neurotic need and second instinct is something that can be wielded more consciously.

[Azure Flame]

I think most of the time I turn on my Sx and yell "GIT SOME" and blast jet moto 2 music and speed in my jeep through the rockies.

Then I get tired and go home and have pleasant conversation with people when "THE FIRE" is satiated.

I've also read somewhere that Sx/So's tend to go out and be outgoing up until they find "the one" and then they beat the person over the head with a club and drag them into their cave for aeons of intimate bonding.

[willekeurig]

I will always sacrifice sp for sx, don't know what else to say. I do appreciate security and having good food, a place to stay, clean clothes and all that very much, but am willing to settle on sleeping on the floor and washing my socks in a gas station sink if that means I get to go on a crazy adventure with a person I have an intense connection with.

[silke]

I feel like this instinct has a range within which it is permitted to fluctuate without causing too much distress. I'll put it off for a while but neglecting it too much brings up discomfort. Deep down inside sx/sp's are gypsies really, even those who don't go roaming around, designed to live a nomadic life of periodic inconvenience in pursuit of their interests. Sx holds the upper hand over the sp by creating a desire to shed off excess belongings, to never settle down, to never get tied up by one's possessions. Yet the disengagement from sp is not complete. If I put myself in the shoes of my so/sx roommate, I can say that I won't be able to live in the kind of disarray and discomfort which doesn't seem to distress her. When things reach that stage I'm prompted to do something about it, to invest the effort into creating and maintaining bearable conditions.

I usually don't need anyone else to engage my secondary instinct. Self-pres primaries are more adept and have stronger foundation in this respect, but their sp needs seem too curbing and needlessly excessive to me. The people who make me feel more engaged and less disconnected are usually the ones who can expose me to my last so instinct.

[Amber]

I will always sacrifice sp for sx, don't know what else to say. I do appreciate security and having good food, a place to stay, clean clothes and all that very much, but am willing to settle on sleeping on the floor and washing my socks in a gas station sink if that means I get to go on a crazy adventure with a person I have an intense connection with.

mmm maybe not so concretely (oh yeah, I slept on the countryside on some rugs just to be close to someone I was madly in love with at one point --- bul HELL.no.not again. it was stupid). But yeah security has OFTEN been sacrificed for stuff that awoke my passion. I don't like it very much though, I'm trying to fight it. This means my Sp is not strong enough maybe. I mean it's the Sp that helps me do something with my life, I guess, not necessarily the Sx . Although I'm very passionate even about my work ... if I don't keep things balanced via Sp , some things can get chaotic. It's not really sane.