I recently got into a fight with my father about something very stupid. Sometimes it happens that my father starts those fights and acts really mean towards me. I try to evade those conflicts, but it doesn't help. In the end I'm the one crying.
My mother said something interesting to me after that fight, namely that my father and I speak different emotional languages. My father relates everything to himself, meaning if I made a mistake that caused him trouble I must have done it on purpose to hurt him. I on the other hand try to understand the perspective of the other person and come to different conclusions.
Now a similar attitude has caused problems with a friend of mine:
She called me while I was studying, so I didn't have much time for her. I have trouble concentrating on conversations on the phone anyway, also the telephone didn't work well and I could hardly understand her. Last but not least my mother interrupted me while I was speaking to this friend. I told her I'm really sorry and ended the conversation early, feeling slightly guilty afterwards.
Some time later I received a long mail from her in which she accused me of being a bad friend, evading her, making up excuses and lyingand being selfish. All covered up with nice Christian phrases and Bible verses though.
She wrote me six other mails that evening, one worse than the other. I was just sad and very angry.
So, what is that emotional language I don't speak? Is it Fi? Or has it nothing to do with that?