I know that enneagram type descriptions say that engagement in the secondary instinct is often wielded towards achieving the goals of the primary, as if they were two separate pieces you wield, but I believe that each stacking is its own organic entity. For instance, I know that getting my "so-fix" will keep me on the threshold of sane, but it can feel like a bare, empty sort of sanity without sx. It's like keeping myself alive simply for the sake of keeping alive, a kind of utilitarian move.
(I ask this b/c, after my moody rant the other day about being totally disengaged, I ran into this sx/so guy who made me feel totally engaged, alive. I *want* things. I *want* that feeling of *wanting*- it's not like I care about the guy but I would want to interact with him just to have the feeling, which is so different from my normal apathy towards men. I normally am not interested in the person but I contemplate seeing them just so I can "collect" an experience that makes me understand more about the world- but b/c of this stance, I often feel not motivated enough to actually engage to the point where I'm experiencing something interesting. Suddenly, I remember what it's like to want the experience itself and not collect it for my mental library of experiences.)
Anyway, I wanted to ask: how strong is your secondary instinct? How much "meaning" do you endow the activities associated with your secondary instinct? How much of your secondary instinct do you need filled to feel fully engaged with your primary instinct?