So I've been having one of the deepest conversations of my life recently.
For those who dont' already know, I'm a devout christian.
Recently met a luciferian IEI 4... possibly an EIE 4. She has spent an insane amount of time sifting through this stuff, she's very knowledgeable. She has delved into many different religions such as thelema, zen, buddhism, hinduism etc.
So this is completely messing with my head. The whole god / satan / atheism is almost always going to be a headache to talk about.
When I was in 8th grade, I spent countless hours obsessing over UFO stories, the book of revelations, the book of enoch, other ancient stories like atlantis, gilgamesh, myths about the great flood... I wanted to form a judgement for myself about what happened in the past.
Eventually I realized that christianity is all about faith that jesus is our savior. So I was like, ya know what? Se.
So I just decided, shit, lets just do it and see what happens. So I started believing christ was my savior, I started praying, I went to a church group party in arizona with one of my best friends (my conflictor mind you) and ever since then my life has been falling into place. On the verge of psychopathic destruction, I made a tearfilled prayer. 2 weeks later, a window openned up for me to leave the navy (not many people get to quit the navy). I was free from prison.
I've always considered this to be a miracle of its own. My faith has grown stronger since then. I also seem to have the hilarious trend of dating satanists who would tell me anything so as not to seem incompatible with them. The bible says that I am being tempted by the DEVIL!
so anyway here I am talking to yet another satanist.
She's telling me that jesus is actually lucifer and that he is the "morning star" or the "bringer of light." The book of revelations even has jesus quoting "I am the morning star."
Anyway she also tells me some stuff like, instead of seeing god's presence in everyone, she just sees "her angel's" presence. Because everyone has a guardian angel. So basically its like, we believe the same shit, except, what i think is god and jesus at work, she just think is the work of our "guardian angel."
So now, I'm sitting here wondering, hold on a second... what is going on? What am I supposed to make of all of this?
What seems obvious to me is that, SOMETHING IS HAPPENING, and that SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED, long ago. We don't actually know what it is, its all just speculation. Pretty sure its safe to say there was a flood at some point. The book of enoch says that god made the flood because he was pissed and earth was all fucked up cuz angels were sexing humans and teaching witchcraft etc. Apparently tarot talks about a similar event. There's also the lost city of atlantis, the epic of gilgamesh... all of these speak of a flood.
It seems to me, that no matter what I do, i will ONLY go in circles thinking about this. Its also my impression that she thinks about this a little too much.
If we have 2 supernatural beings battling it out, and i'm supposed to pick sides, what does that say about existence itself?
The logic involved, when taking both sides into account, is nearly flawless from both ends, it seems. Either that or she's really good at just making all kinds of shit up on the fly that makes logical sense, which I don't think is the case.
someone help me, my brain is exploding.