How do you experience your polr (4th or vulnerable function?)

[Iris]

Curious to know if this is an information element that you notice in your everyday life.

For example, I experience Si, my 4th function, as mysteriously variable. Will sit on my foot til it falls asleep, even as I am aware of it happening, with the pins and needles calling out for attention. How easy it would be to shift position and stop the tingling. But I don't. But on the other hand, I require certain comfortable conditions to fall asleep and will make sure those are taken care of.

I know exactly the Si atmosphere that I would like to enjoy at Thanksgiving, but will probably hyperfocus on one preparation step and not leave time for other important things. Then I will have a massive adrenalin fueled last minute effort to get everything the way I want it.

When I see others fussing over their comforts, I feel slightly scornful (sad but true.) It is not the comfort that I despise, but the undue focus on attaining it. Examples: $1000 mattresses, little neck pillows people use on airplanes, machines that make noises like the ocean to help people sleep, etc.

These are the first examples that come to mind. It is definately something I am aware of.

[Eldanen]

I experience my PoLR as something that interrupts my mind's attempt to process information. I have been literally brainwashed before, so I understand how that kind of thing feels; ironically, it was a Te oriented individual. From my perspective, Te is overly repetitious and often unnecessary. Just tell me once in a nice if neutral way and I've got it. Te types that I've known seem to have to go on forever to get their point across. And oddly enough, they'll agree with me if I do the same thing. It was the strangest thing when I discovered that I could get a Te type to agree with me simply by saying the same thing over and over. But for me, that makes me want to stab the person doing that.

Also, I experience Te as something inherently based on semantic ambiguity. I always feel like they are using some kind of unreachable subtlety in communication that I can't see until after the fact. Maybe an hour, week, or month later, it'll cross my mind, "Oh, so that's what he was saying." Ti, on the other hand, is totally unambiguous to me, even when someone is being indirect. (Ti types often do that by communicating in polar opposites to what they actually mean.)

TeFi feels great to be around. It ends up leaving me saying in the end, though, "Man was that a mistake."

When people make a request for Te from me, I often just stand there looking stupid, and can't figure out how to respond. A Ti ego can tell me to do the same thing and I'll say, "Okay!" and do it without any problem.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Well the way I view socionics there is functions that exist internally in a person and functions that are external.

As a writer, I'm a master of all things 'inner world' so it's like i have strong magical defense but weak physical defense. I am sort of a natural pussy that's bad in sports and don't like people exerting their physical will against me when I don't want them to. As a te polr person, I dislike fast moving physical objects naturally. Not internal shit like 'somebody hurting my feelings' (that would be the weakness of a Fi polr) but real baseballs being thrown in my face. I'm able to pick up intellectual concepts really easily and understand when somebody is gaslighting me, my polr opposite (a rough rogue str8 boy) is like in awe of that shit. That's why they are able to take Christianity seriously and enjoy american sports and football whereas I am able to see through the veil of those things. I've always been able to pick up on psychological manipulation and it amuses me how other ppl are weak against that stuff.

I wish I was a rogue but I can't escape my mage roots, I was born a mage ... and like most mages in rpg games if you can get close to them with your huge 2 handed str8 man sword, we are slaughtered.

That is what the socionists were really saying, but people sorta overly intellectualze the polr thing, probably to mask the real raw pain it does face.

People with an extroverted orientated function are repressing their internal natures and people with an internal ego function are repressing their physical natures.

Oh and having Ni polr means you lack creativity. You wouldn't like or enjoy high fantasy dramas with teleportation and telekinses like I do because your brain would lack internal processes of possibility. Oh and it's 'creative' to give losers superpowers, but it's not rational or realistic. You instead would like the magic of religion which is a lot more subdued, less campy and neon, and more about following ritualistic laws of behavior. Instead of feeling compassion for the under dog that I tend to have you would have the more Oprah and Esther Hicks vantage point that 'they deserve it.'

(I admit part of me is just talking out of my ass in this post but it's fun)

[Iris]

I experience my PoLR as something that interrupts my mind's attempt to process information. I have been literally brainwashed before, so I understand how that kind of thing feels; ironically, it was a Te oriented individual. From my perspective, Te is overly repetitious and often unnecessary. Just tell me once in a nice if neutral way and I've got it. Te types that I've known seem to have to go on forever to get their point across. And oddly enough, they'll agree with me if I do the same thing. It was the strangest thing when I discovered that I could get a Te type to agree with me simply by saying the same thing over and over. But for me, that makes me want to stab the person doing that.

Also, I experience Te as something inherently based on semantic ambiguity. I always feel like they are using some kind of unreachable subtlety in communication that I can't see until after the fact. Maybe an hour, week, or month later, it'll cross my mind, "Oh, so that's what he was saying." Ti, on the other hand, is totally unambiguous to me, even when someone is being indirect. (Ti types often do that by communicating in polar opposites to what they actually mean.)

TeFi feels great to be around. It ends up leaving me saying in the end, though, "Man was that a mistake."

When people make a request for Te from me, I often just stand there looking stupid, and can't figure out how to respond. A Ti ego can tell me to do the same thing and I'll say, "Okay!" and do it without any problem.

Your post was interesting to me on so many levels. How ironic that the Te type is bringing about an effect opposite from what they are trying to accomplish. I don't like to have Si pressed on me, but my SLI friend never does that. I wonder if the polr is experienced differently in conflict relationships depending on extroversion or interoversion.

[Slacker]

ILE daughter: "Mom, what time is it?"
Me: "12:30"
ILE daughter: *looks doubtful and untrusting, then looks at clock* "Mom! It's 12:28! Why did you say it's 12:30?"
Me:

Is this just her? Are other people so precise? And it's about everything. "Mom, that isn't an X, it's a Y, and they're different in this really irrelevant and uninteresting way!" I wish she didn't correct me about every stupid little thing in the world.

If she asks me for the definition of a word, I don't just give her a definition anymore, because she'll give me that same doubtful and untrusting look, and then look it up online and tell me how I didn't define it exactly right. That look that says, "You're just giving me some general ballpark kind of answer, aren't you?"

She also doesn't like when I define something with an example. "It's like when a person does X." . . . *doubtful and untrusting look* "Mom, I asked what the definition of the word was, not 'like what people do.'"

But I just roll my eyes. "Oh, you're very precise, aren't you?" *mom smile*

[Slacker]

It just happened again!

"Mom, how long does it take for a cup of water to freeze?"
"A while."
*THE LOOK*
"No, mom I mean How Long Does It Take For A Cup Of Water To Freeze."
"Well, it would be frozen overnight if you left it outside or in the freezer."
"No, mom. . . *Sigh* I'll just check the internet." *THE LOOK*

[mu4]

ILE daughter: "Mom, what time is it?"
Me: "12:30"
ILE daughter: *looks doubtful and untrusting, then looks at clock* "Mom! It's 12:28! Why did you say it's 12:30?"
Me:

Is this just her? Are other people so precise? And it's about everything. "Mom, that isn't an X, it's a Y, and they're different in this really irrelevant and uninteresting way!" I wish she didn't correct me about every stupid little thing in the world.

If she asks me for the definition of a word, I don't just give her a definition anymore, because she'll give me that same doubtful and untrusting look, and then look it up online and tell me how I didn't define it exactly right. That look that says, "You're just giving me some general ballpark kind of answer, aren't you?"

She also doesn't like when I define something with an example. "It's like when a person does X." . . . *doubtful and untrusting look* "Mom, I asked what the definition of the word was, not 'like what people do.'"

But I just roll my eyes. "Oh, you're very precise, aren't you?" *mom smile*

Ouch, I feel for you slacker.

Good luck, keep the ulcer medication handy...

[DaftPunk]

My 4th IE is Fe and I've a hard time with compliments. Like most people I like to get compliments but I am not able to react properly after I got a compliment. E.g. a girl who isn't good looking gave me a compliment for my looks I repsonded: "Thank you, you look good to" she didn't believe it and even made a moquing comment about my compliment .

I coud make countless other examples of Fe-PolR :/

P.S.: Considering how much time you spend in your bad it's worth to buy a good matrasse and pillow save money with the unimportant things of the bed.

[anndelise]

ILE daughter: "Mom, what time is it?"
Me: "12:30"
ILE daughter: *looks doubtful and untrusting, then looks at clock* "Mom! It's 12:28! Why did you say it's 12:30?"
Me:

Is this just her? Are other people so precise? And it's about everything. "Mom, that isn't an X, it's a Y, and they're different in this really irrelevant and uninteresting way!" I wish she didn't correct me about every stupid little thing in the world.

If she asks me for the definition of a word, I don't just give her a definition anymore, because she'll give me that same doubtful and untrusting look, and then look it up online and tell me how I didn't define it exactly right. That look that says, "You're just giving me some general ballpark kind of answer, aren't you?"

She also doesn't like when I define something with an example. "It's like when a person does X." . . . *doubtful and untrusting look* "Mom, I asked what the definition of the word was, not 'like what people do.'"

But I just roll my eyes. "Oh, you're very precise, aren't you?" *mom smile*

This was along the lines of one of the problems between my daughter and I, only mostly with concrete items. A tree is a tree...until she learns that it is a Cherry Tree, or a Pine Tree. At which point it's no longer "a tree" and everyone had better call it by its right name or she'll treat you as if a) you are untrustworthy, or b) you are attacking her by daring to call it "a tree".

The same thing with a jacket/coat/sweater/hoodie/etc. Don't you dare tell her to 'grab her jacket before going outside' if you are pointing at a sweater or coat.

And the time thing? Yes, you must say the exact time, or else you are considered to be lying to her.

Beware, Slackermom, if your daughter is this nitpicky about details, she will eventually lose more trust in you and your generalizations and estimations. (Speaking from experience. )

[Cuddly McFluffles]

It just happened again!

"Mom, how long does it take for a cup of water to freeze?"
"A while."
*THE LOOK*
"No, mom I mean How Long Does It Take For A Cup Of Water To Freeze."
"Well, it would be frozen overnight if you left it outside or in the freezer."
"No, mom. . . *Sigh* I'll just check the internet." *THE LOOK*

What type is your daughter? Those kinds of answers would drive me crazy as well.

Edit: found it in another post. Hilarious that we'd both be driven crazy by such impreciseness while being opposite types.

[mu4]

It just happened again!

"Mom, how long does it take for a cup of water to freeze?"
"A while."
*THE LOOK*
"No, mom I mean How Long Does It Take For A Cup Of Water To Freeze."
"Well, it would be frozen overnight if you left it outside or in the freezer."
"No, mom. . . *Sigh* I'll just check the internet." *THE LOOK*

Unfortunately, let me prepare you for the worst. If she's ILE or Fi-Polr she will likely never trust you or anyone and if she says she does, it's a lie.

As she gets older she will get better at masking her mistrust with a smile or some other sort of socially acceptable gesture other than "THE LOOK".

As far as the exactness part of her personality, this is more due to 4d function than , once she grows older she will generalize more often but in a different way.

I think biggest clash here is that you are unable to provide her the Dynamic, more detailed information she is looking for as you both are Static types. So this sort of situation can occur between many different types including egos.

The PoLR hit is the lack of trust, most situations contain many different information elements interacting, and the painful interactions may not be the most readily apparent.

[Azure Flame]

i'm still trying to figure out what ti means to be Fi polr.

I think I ultimately need verbal confirmation if someone is attracted to me. Reading others' emotions is difficult and something I've practiced over time. I always resort to logic when analyzing someone's emotions even though deep down I can feel what they feel. I usually ignore it though.

For example an ESI I dated would never tell me she was interested, but when we were together there was this magnetic charge between us. It was unspoken.

To her, I probably looked like an idiot because I kept questioning "dur, do you like me?" and she'd always get evasive when the answer was staring me in the face. I often times can't tell if those are my emotions or theirs.

I've read that Fi-polr manifests in an all or nothing internal state of emotion. For me, my emotions move extremely slowly. My head can be angry while my body is as cool as a clam, and conversely, my head can be calm but my body is angry.

I don't get me.

[blackburry]

i'm still trying to figure out what ti means to be Fi polr.

I think I ultimately need verbal confirmation if someone is attracted to me. Reading others' emotions is difficult and something I've practiced over time. I always resort to logic when analyzing someone's emotions even though deep down I can feel what they feel. I usually ignore it though.

For example an ESI I dated would never tell me she was interested, but when we were together there was this magnetic charge between us. It was unspoken.

To her, I probably looked like an idiot because I kept questioning "dur, do you like me?" and she'd always get evasive when the answer was staring me in the face. I often times can't tell if those are my emotions or theirs.

I've read that Fi-polr manifests in an all or nothing internal state of emotion. For me, my emotions move extremely slowly. My head can be angry while my body is as cool as a clam, and conversely, my head can be calm but my body is angry.

I don't get me.

e6 cough.

[blackburry]

I don't mind imprecise. I prefer looking up things on my own anyways rather than someone telling me something.

my Ne-Polr is adorable.

(it's not).

[lemontrees]

I experience my PoLR as something that interrupts my mind's attempt to process information. I have been literally brainwashed before, so I understand how that kind of thing feels; ironically, it was a Te oriented individual. From my perspective, Te is overly repetitious and often unnecessary. Just tell me once in a nice if neutral way and I've got it. Te types that I've known seem to have to go on forever to get their point across. And oddly enough, they'll agree with me if I do the same thing. It was the strangest thing when I discovered that I could get a Te type to agree with me simply by saying the same thing over and over. But for me, that makes me want to stab the person doing that.

Also, I experience Te as something inherently based on semantic ambiguity. I always feel like they are using some kind of unreachable subtlety in communication that I can't see until after the fact. Maybe an hour, week, or month later, it'll cross my mind, "Oh, so that's what he was saying." Ti, on the other hand, is totally unambiguous to me, even when someone is being indirect. (Ti types often do that by communicating in polar opposites to what they actually mean.)

TeFi feels great to be around. It ends up leaving me saying in the end, though, "Man was that a mistake."

When people make a request for Te from me, I often just stand there looking stupid, and can't figure out how to respond. A Ti ego can tell me to do the same thing and I'll say, "Okay!" and do it without any problem.

It's true. Both Te and Fi to me can occasionally feel like using a cleverly roundabout and curtailed way to get at something I'd much rather lay clearly on the table to make sure that me and the other party are absolutely on the same page. I really like to spell out everything in intimate relationships in particular so that it's "fair." But I guess everyone prefers information that's fair, and clear- like another poster noted, it may just be the nature of information that we find most "clear" that differs from quadra to quadra.

I used to feel very manipulated by LSE's b/c they'd tell me the steps to get me to participate in what they wanted done but not tell me what it is they were trying to accomplish, thereby forcing me to go along with something that I have no idea about. I felt "pulled into" their agenda. As I've grown older I no longer feel this way, and I think that a part of my reaction was never being able to really understand or intuit what the Te was trying to accomplish, so I mistrusted it. On the other hand, SLE's can pretty much be controlling and say exactly what they want you to do, but for some absurd reason, I never feel pulled into it b/c they explain the project in Ti terms I can understand. Lol. Like if I wanted to, I could fight back, refuse, or change the terms.

Also, when given Ti frameworks, I can pretty much act independently. Not so at all with Te.

[xerx]

Faking or hiding it while trying to - gracefully - get the fuck out of there.

[FDG]

I used to feel very manipulated by LSE's b/c they'd tell me the steps to get me to participate in what they wanted done but not tell me what it is they were trying to accomplish, thereby forcing me to go along with something that I have no idea about. I felt "pulled into" their agenda.

Tbh I also feel this way with other Te dominants I know (both LIE and LSE, no difference in this domain). If they're friends I can just tell them "hey jerk, so what the hell do you want to accomplish with this?" but if they're co-workers or any kind of more formal arrangement it can be very irritating.

I don't know exactly how my PoLR feels. But I will sometimes miss details and that ends up with me me having to redo a whole lot of work, or try to generalize something when actually going through the exact motions would have been more productive. I also can't be bothered with perfectly fitting my dress to every specific work situation and that can make me look "untrustful" or "uncaring" or w/e. I often waste away energy on stuff that may be irrilevant to the situation at hand - but I also often have excess energy so I feel like this is necessary for me.

ILE daughter: "Mom, what time is it?"
Me: "12:30"
ILE daughter: *looks doubtful and untrusting, then looks at clock* "Mom! It's 12:28! Why did you say it's 12:30?"

The way I'd go wit this is by always saying "about...12:30". So you can never be really wrong. Or maybe just say "I don't know, look yourself ".

[Iris]

@Slacker Perhaps you could employ Ron Swanson's hostile witness technique: answer a question with a question.

[Leader]

..Its hard talking about my feelings, personal life...about myself in general. If someone is talking about their feelings, I can feel very sympathetic but I wont admit it through communicating but rather try to help them with my actions. If someone has done me wrong or someone else wrong, I keep a mental note..keep it all bottled in and will lose respect for that person. Which may make me seem fake maybe...because I can be absolutely friendly with you but when you do something that I find suspect or with ill intent my attitude towards you will change, you'll just never know why because I will be uncomfortable talking about what I know you did. I dunno..I might get better with fi and expressing my deep feelings as I get older but its been like this forever. Its part of my fi polr and Fe agenda, I want people to like me, but at the same time respect me. So ill usually be nice. I dont really like to burn bridges, but if you cross the line i will be ruthless...although this almost never happens. I just end up keeping people at a distance.

Also about keeping in my feelings, if i let out what I'm really thinking...itll be sincere but is also very blunt so I end up crushing the persons feelings and seem rude so I just don't say anything or use my ti to convey what I'm saying a little smoother.

Take infj, especially the guys..sometimes they can appear like assholes to because they are honest about what they are thinking(feeling) about the person(people say the same for estp) sometimes its funny as hell..we are kind of thinking the same thing, almost similar but at the same time very different. Like weird versions of estps...inversed.

[Saberstorm]

psogsgspripklgf

[Saberstorm]

My Se PoLR takes the form of a strong desire to pursue goals that are very challenging, almost impossible, while experiencing a sense of dread and frustration at how I seek what is monstrous and distant.



This looks like your nation – it is under siege from a great beast! But you must heroically go onward.




It looks like you want to fight this,



or that this is hunting you ... and you will find the secret to defeat him…



And these are you friends sharing your journey!!!

[Beautiful sky]

Trying to repeat myself in several different ways over and over not realizing that I've made my point.

[Amber]

I wouldn't be able to handle well a job that requires use of that brand of skills. It doesn't mean my Supervisor or Conflictor can intimidate me or something... if we're on a totally neutral arena. I don't loathe info related to my polr by default. I just know it's not my forte.

[strangeling]

I can pretty much relate to what everyone here has said,,, except Saberstorm, lol, no offense.

The PoLR hit is the lack of trust, most situations contain many different information elements interacting, and the painful interactions may not be the most readily apparent.

I could see that. I've always had a tendency to want to do things on my own because I don't like having to try and get people to do things they don't want to do; it'll bother me if people are doing stuff they don't want to and then I won't expect them to help me with something. It seems like the more I have to rely on other people, the less I'll get done, and then I get obsessive and neurotic about it in thinking I need to get it done myself and get as much done myself.

[strangeling]

It just happened again!

"Mom, how long does it take for a cup of water to freeze?"
"A while."
*THE LOOK*
"No, mom I mean How Long Does It Take For A Cup Of Water To Freeze."
"Well, it would be frozen overnight if you left it outside or in the freezer."
"No, mom. . . *Sigh* I'll just check the internet." *THE LOOK*

This reminds me of problems with my SEI-Fe mother sometimes. I'm trying to complete a task and need some knowledge from her to complete it. But instead of her giving it to me, she tells me how to do it another way and I will have to argue with her about why my way is better and then finally...she gives me the simple information I needed...dang.

For example,
Me: Mom, where can I buy X item?
Her: ...what are you trying to do?
Me: I'm trying to do Y.
Her: Well let's do this instead.
Me: OMFG, no, why can't you just tell me where to get X item?
Her: Well, I don't know if this is a good idea and you really should talk to such and such person and get their opinion and blah blah.
Me: OMG, this is easy to do and I know how to do it and it won't take that long and I have the time and it will save me money if I do it myself.
Her: Oh okay, you can find X item at blah blah.

Me: (thinking) - wow, why did such a simple question have to be so hard to get an answer for?

[sarinana]

I found this on another forum and translated. Si POLR (I can relate to everything)

Fear of pain , avoidance of seeing doctors , or the opposite - excessive concern over health.
Spiritual well-being is prioritized over physical.
Extremely picky about food and physical qualities of things.
Feels embarrassed when being watched while eating / working.
Finds difficulty in a formal environment, where it is necessary to look flawless, difficulty to even find a "right" pose while standing/sitting.
When not in a good physical state/shape finds it uneasy to interact with the people, wants to hide
Doesn't like the noises when someone makes when eating
Doesn't like to be touched by strangers , only those who are close to him can - it is understood as expression of benevolence
Evaluate themselves by how much others like his taste, appearance and how much they care for him . Is generous, always will offer some food to others when eating, but will get offended if you take ' the last mouthful .'
Doesn't like people who put their comfort first over anything else, may accuse such person of being selfish.
Doesn't feel moderation when eating / drinking. It is either a lot or very little , it's hard to feel when "full".
Completely avoids or uses medicine, spices, sauces in high quantities.
Avoids discussing the appearance and hygiene.

[Narc]

Exactly like this:

Si – Vulnerable function. LIE is not confident in all that concerns his state of health, aesthetics, and household convenience. It occurs that even in these areas he tries to use his imagination and initiative – qualities that serve him so well in practical and industrial activities. But very quickly he sees that his activities in these areas are met with bewilderment, at times even with sneers. Such reactions are experienced painfully. He makes note of what those that criticize him say, those sad and boring people, and also notes their inadequacies. However, he nevertheless begins to be cautious in exercising “his creativity” here.

[Eldanen]

This reminds me of problems with my SEI-Fe mother sometimes. I'm trying to complete a task and need some knowledge from her to complete it. But instead of her giving it to me, she tells me how to do it another way and I will have to argue with her about why my way is better and then finally...she gives me the simple information I needed...dang.

For example,
Me: Mom, where can I buy X item?
Her: ...what are you trying to do?
Me: I'm trying to do Y.
Her: Well let's do this instead.
Me: OMFG, no, why can't you just tell me where to get X item?
Her: Well, I don't know if this is a good idea and you really should talk to such and such person and get their opinion and blah blah.
Me: OMG, this is easy to do and I know how to do it and it won't take that long and I have the time and it will save me money if I do it myself.
Her: Oh okay, you can find X item at blah blah.

Me: (thinking) - wow, why did such a simple question have to be so hard to get an answer for?

Ti agendas not only prefer specificity and lack of ambiguity in communication, but often desperately need it. If you're not very precise, they are going to ask for endless clarification. I remember absolutely hating being asked questions by an enfp teacher because the questions were always ambiguous. It's funny because the precision that is life to the Fe creative is death to the Fi creative.

[Iris]

I found this on another forum and translated. Si POLR (I can relate to everything)

Fear of pain , avoidance of seeing doctors , or the opposite - excessive concern over health.
Spiritual well-being is prioritized over physical.
Extremely picky about food and physical qualities of things.
Feels embarrassed when being watched while eating / working.
Finds difficulty in a formal environment, where it is necessary to look flawless, difficulty to even find a "right" pose while standing/sitting.
When not in a good physical state/shape finds it uneasy to interact with the people, wants to hide
Doesn't like the noises when someone makes when eating
Doesn't like to be touched by strangers , only those who are close to him can - it is understood as expression of benevolence
Evaluate themselves by how much others like his taste, appearance and how much they care for him . Is generous, always will offer some food to others when eating, but will get offended if you take ' the last mouthful .'
Doesn't like people who put their comfort first over anything else, may accuse such person of being selfish.
Doesn't feel moderation when eating / drinking. It is either a lot or very little , it's hard to feel when "full".
Completely avoids or uses medicine, spices, sauces in high quantities.
Avoids discussing the appearance and hygiene.

That describes me exactly. I think it is interesting that Si was one of the first information elements that I was able to recognise in other people. Infantile dual seeking really bothers me, not really in strangers, but in long term acquaintences or family members.

[Pookie]

My Se PoLR takes the form of a strong desire to pursue goals that are very challenging, almost impossible, while experiencing a sense of dread and frustration at how I seek what is monstrous and distant.



This looks like your nation – it is under siege from a great beast! But you must heroically go onward.




It looks like you want to fight this,



or that this is hunting you ... and you will find the secret to defeat him…



And these are you friends sharing your journey!!!

Hands down the greatest post on this site.