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Thread: Your Life?

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    Default Your Life?

    How did you decide what you were going to do for the major part of your life?
    Your job/career?
    Your hobbies?
    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on?

    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?"
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    Hahahahaha I'll be following this thread closely looking for ideas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    How did you decide what you were going to do for the major part of your life?
    Your job/career?
    Your hobbies?
    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on?

    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?"

    1 - The need to have money decided for me.

    2 - Code monkey ( just started out )
    Career prospects: Code monkey => Code chimp => Code gorilla

    3 - This forum.
    4 - This forum. Where I haemorrhage life force.

    5 - ?
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    1 - The need to have money decided for me.

    2 - Code monkey ( just started out )
    Career prospects: Code monkey => Code chimp => Code gorilla

    3 - This forum.
    4 - This forum. Where I haemorrhage life force.

    5 - ?
    So, money is what made you settle on Code Monkey and not engineering, or porn star, or actor?
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    How did you decide what you were going to do for the major part of your life?
    Your job/career?
    Your hobbies?
    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on?

    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?"
    1+5. Growing up I never knew what I wanted to do. After high school I decided to take some maths classes just to have something to do but because I wasn't truly interested (and for some non-studying related reasons) that didn't work, I finished some of them but not a full years worth. Did some work experience things while trying to figure out what I wanted to do and eventually switched to trying to find something I could *stand* doing since it seemed impossible to find something I actually *wanted* to do. Decided to get into teaching. Already in the first semester I started having doubts, both about it being suited to me and about the program - didn't feel it was actually teaching us anything about becoming teachers, just a lot of tangentially related things that were interesting but not very useful. Decided to stick it out and see if things improved in the second year when I'd be getting into my specialisation (first year was a set of classes common to all subjects/grades/etc). It didn't get better and I left after the third semester. Eventually got a a job in elder care, liked it well enough the first year, year-and-a-half, when I was just happy to have a job and something to do. After a while started feeling stressed and unhappy with it, felt I was just rushing around saving money for the company I was working for instead of what was actually in the best interest of the people we were working with and felt I was treated like I was completely incompetent and stupid (that was probably more on me, some people genuinely love the job). Started trying to find something else after 4 years or so but did not want to go back to university because it would require taking out more student loans which I absolutely didn't want to do (and know myself well enough to know that it wouldn't be possible to work and study at the same time) so felt stuck and miserable. Was talking to someone about the situation and they suggested looking into occupational therapy, physical therapy or similar since I already had experience in working in health care. Had always thought OT seemed like an interesting and rewarding job but because I didn't want to take out more loans I hadn't considered the possibility of it for myself. Read a little more about it, applied and in my second year now, taking out loans and everything. Never questioned my decision and I think it will suit me very well. If I could go back in time and talk to myself at 13 I might have had other options to consider so who knows what I would've chosen then.

    2. I'm at university, studying occupational therapy.

    3. Right now I listen to a lot of music, read stuff on the internet including a couple of forums, walk/other exercise, occationally play some on the flute. I like reading a lot but because I read so much for class I don't read much during the semesters apart from things related to that or random stuff on the internet.

    4. School and trying to maintain enough energy to last through the school year.

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    @Zola, So you kind of fell into what you think you'll be doing as your career? Is that an apt way of describing it?

    (I loved your story, btw, thank you, it helped.)
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    When I was still in school, I had a totally different idea of what I wanted to do, first I wanted to become a teacher, then a journalist, then a designer... At the end I thought I should do a social year to have some time to decide on my future. So, for a weekend I checked out the place where I wanted to work and live for a year, but on my way home againI started crying, knowing that this wasn't the right thing. So back home I quickly and spontaneously looked at the subjects without a Numerus Clausus, because my grades were only good, not very good, which ruled out many subjects. I decided to study Art history, Archaeology and Latin then. After the first week of university I just knew it was the right thing.

    My hobbies are playing guitar, singing and composing songs, as well as painting and writing fiction. I also enjoy travelling though I've not really got out of Europe, yet (not counting Turkey). But I'm planning on visiting my friend in Japan, probably in two years from now.
    I'm also quite active in my church, leading worship in my youth group, helping with the children's service...
    Love is like an energy, rushing in, rushing inside of me...

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    1. job-wise: in high school I had a couple economics classes and I immediately liked the subject, especially the history and theory. So I went for that at the university and now I'm still in the field, mostly out of luck. I also tried professional cycling but I was eventually not good enough. Ofc I also knew that economics/business/etc is likely to give you a human salary, that was a bonus.

    2. hobbies: well, I tried different things since I was a small kid. I am action-oriented but I also like people. I however am not that good at sitting down for a very large amount of time (10+ hours). Eventually, after trial and error, I settled for cycling, mountain climbing, painting and learning languages (yes I also paint, especially during the winter). Lately I've substituted painting with cooking.

    3. what made me say that was a combination of "I really really feel good / enjoy myself while doing/reading/writing about this" and "I can see that I'm pretty good at this compared to other people".
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    So, money is what made you settle on Code Monkey and not engineering, or porn star, or actor?
    1 - Porn star: I don't want to show myself naked and I doubt I have the requisite anatomy anyway. The idea of a life of casual sex isn't appealing (not that there's anything wrong with it, but it's not for me).

    2 - Actor: not my forte.

    3 - Engineer: engineering is sooo boring. Engineering types of people are fixated on applied "real world" problems. I like theoretical things better. But if there's a way to make it interesting...
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    nothing was ever really part of a grand plan. it's all been a result of choices i made in the moment out of convenience and then stuck with out of necessity. i guess you could say i'm "still figuring it out," but i try not to think of life as something i'm waiting for since i'm alive right now. some people seem to be lucky and have some kind of obvious passion or calling but frankly i'm skeptical about the idea that we all do... that's a pretty career-centric way of thinking about life anyway. this isn't helpful, sorry.

    as for my personal specifics? in high school i had a few things in mind but then i got pregnant when i was sixteen and i had a job counselor ask me what i wanted to do and i said maybe something helping people. she mentioned a two year human services program and for a lack of time to fully explore my options i just went for it. it turned out to not really be for me but in the process i learned basic office skills and whatnot so that when i got laid off from the county welfare office i switched over to administrative assistant work. now i work at a bank and they've paid for me to have some schooling that will allow me to move into a better position when it opens. wherever i've worked i've tried to take advantage of opportunities when they come up. i guess it's a pretty tactical > strategic way of doing things but i don't think i've ever had a lot of privilege to sit and stare at my belly button wondering "what should i do with my life."

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    How did you decide what you were going to do for the major part of your life?
    I got advice from people who knew better than I did and then balanced it against what I was capable at doing.
    I ended up studying Chemical Engineer because it wasn't narrow and I thought I could do pretty well at it.

    Your job/career?
    My career is Petroleum Engineering, my current job is as an oil field development manager.

    Your hobbies?
    99% of the time I sleep or dick about on the internet when I'm not working.

    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on?
    Work*
    *and dicking about on the internet and sleeping
    *and flirting in short bursts with interesting people


    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?"
    I tend to think about what will work best in balance.

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    i totally just assumed this was about career and ignored the op MY BAD. it's all kind of the same though... just whatever is around. i dunno

    well I think I'm influenced by the stuff my mom exposed me to as a kid re art and museums and cultural events since I take more of an interest in those things than most people around me in my peer group. But that was never really a decision, just an inclination.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    @Zola, So you kind of fell into what you think you'll be doing as your career? Is that an apt way of describing it?

    (I loved your story, btw, thank you, it helped.)
    Oh, that's definitely a good way of describing it. Returning to university wasn't at all an option in my mind at the time but it's working out much better than anything I've tried to reason myself into doing in the past.

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    Thanks all!
    This has been something I've struggled with all my life. When I worked, I would leave a job after about 3 months to find something different. When I had my daughter I'd been placed on disability. I would get interested in some kind of hobby type activity, I would feel guilty for not using that time for cleaning or being with my daughter, so I'd set it aside, only to get sick of lack of mental/spiritual stimulation and get caught up trying something new, but then the cycle would repeat itself. I've always enjoyed starting new things, but have never really managed to maintain nor finish much of anything. And worse, when I pick something up to learn, I immediately want to start changing it up, especially how it's typically taught. This has been the most consistent thing about me, in this context, and it drives me nuts.

    I'm currently trying to get myself to limit my pursuits to a mere handful of things, in the hopes that I could actually get somewhere with at least one of them. And while I've been settling on writing as the primary thing, I freaked out yesterday over something which kind of threw everything to the wind. Which is why I wrote the OP. Trying to figure out what I seem to lack in terms of making a decision like this and pushing through on it.

    But I guess it's not been so much an initial decision ya'll have done, nor a life-plan type thing. And it helps to know that. High school, self-help books, DVR, etc...all pushed the life-planning thing. It helps to know that that isn't really the typical approach.
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    I think little value in my life has arisen directly from plans and some of the best opportunities have seemed to come from chance encounters - when I have been acting more in accordance with my id.

    Maybe the very act of trying so hard to push through on these decisions makes them feel more tedious and impossible, thus making you want to escape and switch focus ann?

    edit: reading back I guess the above bit makes me captain obvious. Fwiw I definitely don't think you're alone in those kinds of cycles :/
    Last edited by squirreltual; 11-06-2013 at 03:13 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    This has been something I've struggled with all my life. When I worked, I would leave a job after about 3 months to find something different.

    ... and get caught up trying something new, but then the cycle would repeat itself. I've always enjoyed starting new things, but have never really managed to maintain nor finish much of anything. And worse, when I pick something up to learn, I immediately want to start changing it up, especially how it's typically taught. This has been the most consistent thing about me, in this context, and it drives me nuts.
    I'm 201% like this. Part of the appeal of code monkey work is the 0 commitment.

    High school, self-help books, DVR, etc...all pushed the life-planning thing. It helps to know that that isn't really the typical approach.
    I mostly just ignored those and still do.
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    1. Starvation
    2. Starvation
    3. Understanding and Knowledge
    4. Not starving, followed by really good food
    5. Accidentally doing this instead of that

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    well I think I'm influenced by the stuff my mom exposed me to as a kid re art and museums and cultural events since I take more of an interest in those things than most people around me in my peer group. But that was never really a decision, just an inclination.
    Yeah, well, that's true for everyone I think. I was also exposed to cycling because a friend liked it and invited me to come with him (and because cycling is very popular in my hometown), and to mountain climbing because my gf comes from a place near the alps, etc.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    they made me do it =o
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    Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
    When I was still in school, I had a totally different idea of what I wanted to do, first I wanted to become a teacher, then a journalist, then a designer... At the end I thought I should do a social year to have some time to decide on my future. So, for a weekend I checked out the place where I wanted to work and live for a year, but on my way home againI started crying, knowing that this wasn't the right thing. So back home I quickly and spontaneously looked at the subjects without a Numerus Clausus, because my grades were only good, not very good, which ruled out many subjects. I decided to study Art history, Archaeology and Latin then. After the first week of university I just knew it was the right thing.

    My hobbies are playing guitar, singing and composing songs, as well as painting and writing fiction. I also enjoy travelling though I've not really got out of Europe, yet (not counting Turkey). But I'm planning on visiting my friend in Japan, probably in two years from now.
    I'm also quite active in my church, leading worship in my youth group, helping with the children's service...
    Your superego decides.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i totally just assumed this was about career and ignored the op MY BAD
    >_> y u

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    I always wanted to be home with my children while they were little and now I am after 9 years of surgeries and $40,000 of medical expenses, I have a beautiful family and a little one falling asleep on my lap as I type...

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    How did you decide what you were going to do for the major part of your life?
    Your job/career?

    I gave up my initial plans of becoming an industrial designer once I realized how "artsy" the job actually is (and after two university which rejected my applications). I looks like a typical "Fox and the Grapes"-Situation but I actually lost interest in the job.

    Later, I was checking alternatives and remembered that I always wanted to become an architect as a child. But most application deadlines were long over at that time. Besides, architecture is a very popular choice among German students, so I finally chose city planning. Coincidentally, there was a completely new city planning course which started exactly when I wanted to start studying. The application period was much longer as well. This is how I got into my bachelor course.

    Btw: I never really regretted my choice. I think I'm well-suited for the job, especially since it encompasses so many different elements from other sciences. But sometimes I thought that I should have decided more carefully what to study. I could have waited another year and take everything into consideration.

    Your hobbies?
    I haven't got lots of hobbies, but many fields of interest. Obviously, I'm doing things I like in my freetime. It's like an organic process, if I'm interested in doing something/knowing more about something, I check it out. I don't do any sports on a regular basis, but I like hiking for its meditative qualities. Other than that, the computer is a key to many of my interests. I like reading, thinking and writing, sometimes in that order.

    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on?
    Whether I'm doing something for my career or because I personally think it's "meaningful" in some way, I'm doing a decent job or I don't do it at all. I can't stand wasting time. For recreational purposes, the only important question is whether I have a good time or not.

    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?"
    Weighing up the alternatives and choosing the best one for me. Of course, every decision is potentially flawed, because I never know everything. But that's life.
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Your job/career? -- the closer to home the better
    Your hobbies? -- just something you were born with to me.
    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on? -- life is about choices...

    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?" -- my own primal animalistic instincts. super-ego makes me throw-up although i try to deal the best i can when things do not go my own way.

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    I wanted to be a researcher and I wanted to return to a place that really felt like home, so I went back there (via detours) and got a degree. I never planned on teaching, that just sort of happened in grad school and I really loved it. The rest sort of fell into place as I went and it's not over yet. I am not entirely happy where I am now, so I am sorting out my options. I have been lucky career-wise, but in terms of place and support system, I might have sacrificed a bit too much and need to remedy that. This is neither specific, nor helpful, but I will elaborate when I have the time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    Your superego decides.
    Huh?
    The passages you marked are actually somewhat simplified.
    I was kind of manipulated by my mother to try a social year at a place that was some kind of mixture between a farm, a village and a monastery. When I was there I slowly got to learn that people expected me to become a part of this community there to the point that they wouldn't let me go home on weekends. It seemed to me like a prison.
    In case of university and my subject I just received many reassurances during the first week. And it was fun.
    Love is like an energy, rushing in, rushing inside of me...

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    Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
    Huh?
    Ignore him. Jealousy is an ugly monster.

    The passages you marked are actually somewhat simplified.
    I was kind of manipulated by my mother to try a social year at a place that was some kind of mixture between a farm, a village and a monastery. When I was there I slowly got to learn that people expected me to become a part of this community there to the point that they wouldn't let me go home on weekends. It seemed to me like a prison.
    In case of university and my subject I just received many reassurances during the first week. And it was fun.
    Don't you just hate manipulative mothers? From what you've described, you seem to be going into a fun and exciting field so yeah, you're making the right choice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    Ignore him. Jealousy is an ugly monster.



    Don't you just hate manipulative mothers? From what you've described, you seem to be going into a fun and exciting field so yeah, you're making the right choice.
    My mother isn't that bad. I love her very much. But she was afraid I wouldn't find something for me to do so she came up with that idea. Sometimes she is still like that, coming up with ideas what I could do in my free time. But I think, she's really proud of me after all.
    Love is like an energy, rushing in, rushing inside of me...

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    Default mai life (in an ironic twist, this is the twelf time i am attempting to post this, it seems mai life does not work)

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    How did you decide what you were going to do for the major part of your life?
    Your job/career?


    It's still open to options. So many phases. I'm better at telling the things i decided against as the main thing was not working in offices, not even a cool monkish guru's office (which I was offered at some stage)... because having to stay inside four walls at a desk with others at their desks, day in day out forever and ever is the most excrutiating suffocating hand I could be delt. Have been offered plenty of personal assistant jobs after helping people out short term... but I hate the idea of being at anyones beck and call and would most likely not be able to control my mood/temper.


    Your hobbies?

    Well, there are many things i am interested in, soo many. How much of those do i actually spend time on though? Well i suppose i do research and read topics that i become interested in., frequently actually. I enjoy debate/discussion, theory, psychology, history, politics (not so into current politics but trends, the larger picture), science-future orientated discoveries/possibilities.

    Whatever it is you spend most of your life force on?

    Umm... well the above plus the online stuff, i work an awful lot (self employed small business), I have children and a large dog and a home to look after too, plus some voluntary work.

    What made you say "I am going to do this, not that?"


    Oh probably what i said at the start of this re: being couped up in an office space for the rest of my life. I am pretty claustraphobic and comittment-phobic. I definately need a lot of variation in my work and project orientated small jobs work best for me especially if I don't have to do x amount by x time...and no consideration for variation etc.
    try try again

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

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    Kill4Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
    Huh?
    There is the id, ego, superego.

    Your decisions seem more superego-driven..."'I should" "it was the right thing" 'not the right thing".

    The passages you marked are actually somewhat simplified.
    I was kind of manipulated by my mother to try a social year at a place that was some kind of mixture between a farm, a village and a monastery. When I was there I slowly got to learn that people expected me to become a part of this community there to the point that they wouldn't let me go home on weekends. It seemed to me like a prison.
    Sounds like a cult

    In case of university and my subject I just received many reassurances during the first week. And it was fun.
    what made you want to go to university

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
    Huh?
    The passages you marked are actually somewhat simplified.
    I was kind of manipulated by my mother to try a social year at a place that was some kind of mixture between a farm, a village and a monastery. When I was there I slowly got to learn that people expected me to become a part of this community there to the point that they wouldn't let me go home on weekends. It seemed to me like a prison.
    Sounds like a cult...

    Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
    In case of university and my subject I just received many reassurances during the first week. And it was fun.
    Good luck.

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    kadda1212's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kill4Me View Post
    Sounds like a cult
    It's a Christian community. But somehow, it reminded me of "The Village".



    what made you want to go to university
    It was the only thing I could do at that time, because the time for applications to start an apprenticeship for anything was already over.
    Love is like an energy, rushing in, rushing inside of me...

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    I was kicked out from school and started to work as a bicycle messenger. I switched from football(soccer) to track bycicle racings. But soon I got the feeling that it is not the right place for me and that I don't want to ride the bike every day anymore. I went back to school and after my graduation politic sciences, law, economics and history were an option. Soon it became a decision between law and economics because I wanted to study something where I see direct practical use.

    My hobbys are playing footbal with friends one time a week. And since september I also go three times a week to the gym again.

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kadda1212 View Post
    It's a Christian community. But somehow, it reminded me of "The Village".




    It was the only thing I could do at that time, because the time for applications to start an apprenticeship for anything was already over.
    HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

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    I wanted to be a journalist and still do. I wanted to go to USC and decided not to go because an administrator there really disappointed me when I inquired about my financial ability...which was sad. I ended up going to another school and still taking Journalism classes, while inquiring about jobs and still taking classes in subjects that interested me (just about everything). I had a full ride for 6 years so I wanted to take full advantage and learn as much about anything just because I love learning. I came to love Journalism because of my love for facts and how the world worked. I also thought that it would be a wonderful way to travel all over and learn different languages (really let me Ne fly away). However, the pay wasn't great and the older I got the more I knew I wanted a family and the more I found my introversion really calming my energy down. I opted for math because I was still very good at it and decided Accounting was a safe and practical bet. I was right and it paid off in the long run with steady income.

    I work in the field that I enjoy, medicine, helping something other than myself, and still having enough flexibility to run off whenever I want, which is nice.

    I said yes to a lot of things. I loved to write, I love to learn. I still do and who knows, maybe when I'm older I may go back to med school and become a doctor. Maybe by then I will have enough in me to withstand looking at bodies of people that have been harmed and still be able to stop in and take care of the situation, which at this point I am unable to do.

    I still love journalism. I keep journals of events. That was always naturally me. I loved contact with human beings. I think when determining what one may like to do, they should consider what kind of interactions they like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa3s View Post
    Btw: I never really regretted my choice. I think I'm well-suited for the job, especially since it encompasses so many different elements from other sciences. But sometimes I thought that I should have decided more carefully what to study. I could have waited another year and take everything into consideration.
    I often wait and put things on hold with the intent to take every possible thing into consideration before making a decision, but when I end up regretting something it's usually not acting SOONER, rather than later. That's because by delaying your decision-making process, you can easily end up wasting a lot of time that you could have spent productively. And how often can you come to a point where you really feel you have considered everything?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pa3s View Post
    Weighing up the alternatives and choosing the best one for me. Of course, every decision is potentially flawed, because I never know everything. But that's life.
    Which is why, no matter how thorough you want to be in your preparations and decision making, it's almost always better to make a semi-confident decision than no decision at all. Time flies.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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