I was wondering, what are the types of parents of LIIs on this forum (maybe also siblings), and how did that affect your experience growing up? Does anyone have Fe-ego parents, and what was that like? I'm finding that socionics is also pretty useful not just for present or future interactions, but also in looking back at past interactions, and identifying things in myself that is basically 'damage', to be able to consider what I could do differently to break from habits resulting from the damage.
My mother is LSI (quite certain), and I think my father is IEE. Lots of spirited 'discussions' between them, but generally my mother will give in or it just dissipates. Two younger brothers, one ILI and the other SLE. Intellectually it was pretty good, particularly between the three Ne valuers in the family. But it was not great for closeness. In restrospect, every interaction type at home was draining for me - no Fe supplied, and very little Si. I remember going to my dual best friend's house the first time, which was awash with Fe. It was great. Kind of like how you see babies' expressions when they try tasty grown-up people food for the first time, after only having baby food before.
I hid out in my room a lot. What I was doing, in hindsight, was instinctively removing myself so that I did not press on my parents' PoLR and cause them to react in controlling or judgmental ways. Recently I've had a few friends asking me to go easier on myself - not in a dismissive or flippant way, but in a really personal, sincere, "because I care and wish you would see you're already great" way. Anyway, it was direct and insistent enough that it got me reflecting on what drives me to be hard on myself. The thing about being LII, is that because you're usually so advanced in your reasoning ability, people much older than you forget that you're actually very young otherwise, and expect you to display forbearance and wisdom against unfair pressure from others, that could only be realistically acquired with much more world and life experience - and this was true even when I was still a child/young teenager. I think today, I can be unnecessarily hard on myself, because of this unrelenting demand. It affects my coaching style too. I'm unrelenting in the objective standard to be achieved, but I make sure the standard is achievable in the first place (achievable to the mentee, not to me or just generally on average - a distinction many people and parents fail to make) - and actually, am very lenient and realistic about what steps they need to pass through, starting from what they are able to do today and considering strengths and weaknesses (again, a person-specific starting point many people and parents fail to define). I know what it's like to be expected to know something I couldn't possibly have been positioned to know.
Additionally, the Se + rejection of Ne did not make for a close mother-daughter relationship. In hindsight, considering that just being LII female comes with a predisposition to having difficulty in culturally relating to other females, associating the only home female relationship with discomfort and judgment probably locked it in. I can't do very much about the effects arising from the former, but I can try to deal with the effects from the latter now that I realise it. After all, I have acquired several supportive close female relationships by now. I could reflect on how I might think about this differently today, had I had those relationships first.
So yeah, while not terrible, growing up involved a lot of defense and compensatory measures for me, identity formation while resisting pressure on the Super-Ego functions, with my Super-Id block not at all supported. I think in the context of development years, Super-Id support, and protection around Super-Ego functions are more important priorities, as it respectively communicates a nurturing home cocoon, and a feeling of psychological security for identity formation.