How to spot a SEI on a datingsite?

[Reficulris]

So... I'm hunting SEI's. Any information from preferably SEI's themselves about the following stuff:

VI: What does a SEI profile picture look like? What would you put up? What characteristics to look for?

SEI professions: What fields are you working in?

SEI profile descriptions: What are your "likes/dislikes", what is your writing style?

Thanks a lot!

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

if they have a tumblr and reblog stuff like that



they be SEI

[Absurd]

SEI professions: What fields are you working in?

Not SEI but they test food in front of king to check whether it is poisoned or not. I don't think there are kings on dating sites, though, so it is a fair deal.

[Azure Flame]

uh...

[squirreltual]

Dude... you live in Amsterdam. Go hang around some galleries or something.

The only SEI I ever spoke to on a dating site was a very shy zoo keeper. Most of the photos were of his monkeys. Likes: monkeys, red wine, nintendo, cycling, Rasputina, drawing (cute animals in funny situations)... if that helps, which I'm almost sure it doesn't.

[Reficulris]

nooooo you're not taking this serious!!!

If I was adapt enough to talk to people in galeries I'd not subscribe to a datingsite

If the tumbler "sleep" quote is a decerning trait of SEI's i'd be one ;-)

SEI's I summon thee! poison-test my food and answer my questions!

[nigh]

How about just meeting a lot of strangers and making a lot of friends. A LOT. There must be at least one SEI girl among them. I mean, there are only 16 types.

And better learn people skills which include talking to complete strangers. Dating sites can only do so much for ya.

[consentingadult]

@Reficulris: you live in Amsterdam? SEIs are very easy to spot. Unfortunately, there are not that many out in the open in Amsterdam!

[squirreltual]

@Reficulris: you live in Amsterdam? SEIs are very easy to spot. Unfortunately, there are not that many out in the open in Amsterdam!

*pictures SEIs tied up in filthy backrooms being forced to make soup*

[Reficulris]

@nigh: Yeah, getting over my shyness is a lifelong goal, but still, getting there in a roundabout way is always nice.
@consentingadult: Yeah, I live on "de warmoesstraat". While there is no shortage of new people to meet in Amsterdam, I don't really do well in club settings or anywhere else where music crowds out my voice. You dutch as well?
Also: If SEI's are so easy to spot, willing to comment on how exactly? ^^
@squirreltual: We have backrooms and tied up people...quite sure they're not "making soup" though

[Absurd]

The only SEI I ever spoke to on a dating site was a very shy zoo keeper. Most of the photos were of his monkeys.

Interesting.

[squirreltual]

Interesting.

Because you believe his duals to be like monkey children? Or for another reason?

[Absurd]

Because you believe his duals to be like monkey children? Or for another reason?

Not really, I just remembered there are monkeys in zoo.

[Beautiful sky]

Work is not type related although there are quite a few SFs in Nursing, but there you may be careful as there are ESFp, ISFj as well.

Generally you may find SEI in many professions. SEI have a "flirty" look and demeanor about them, often eyes that are romantic. Writing style may be narrative, long (longer and more descriptive than that of my own). The Fe may not be apparent at first unless they are describing the overal mood or disposition of their pet..."He looks happy."

[lemontrees]

Yeah, um.
I guess if you're really trying, pay attention to the smiles? I tend to notice SEI's IRL by a mixture of smile and posture.

(Jesus I hate dating sites. I've actually just moved to a new city, got on okcupid again at some point, and have had my faith in its general uselessness renewed... basically if I put on the "casual sex" option I only get creepy weird-ass messages and if I don't I get any messages at at all. Lol.)

[mu4]

I haven't seen many SEI's on dating sites.

[consentingadult]

@nigh: Yeah, getting over my shyness is a lifelong goal, but still, getting there in a roundabout way is always nice.
@consentingadult: Yeah, I live on "de warmoesstraat". While there is no shortage of new people to meet in Amsterdam, I don't really do well in club settings or anywhere else where music crowds out my voice. You dutch as well?
Also: If SEI's are so easy to spot, willing to comment on how exactly? ^^
@squirreltual: We have backrooms and tied up people...quite sure they're not "making soup" though

Yes, I live in Amsterdam as well. I can't explain in words only how to spot SEIs, but I could show you in real life and then explain. But like I said, I don't see that many walking in the streets, and neither would I have the time.

[consentingadult]

*pictures SEIs tied up in filthy backrooms being forced to make soup*

Apple pie and cookies would be more likely. I know, I live in a filthy backroom with an SEI!

[lemontrees]

The real question is, how to make soup while tied up?
If I could figure out how to do that, I would be one hell of a multi-tasking SEI. I'm not sure I even have it in me to strive for that kind of efficiency.

@Reficulris, I understand how you feel- I am also ridiculously shy, have the social skills of one of the zookeeper's monkeys (actually I hear many ape species have well-defined social structures... an E7 IEE spent some time telling me about this once...), and go on the16types too much when bored during work. A lot of my flaws are less endearing. Sometimes men do approach me and I deflect them or simply say something autistic sounding (something that somehow also signals to them they will likely not get laid) and they go away. My first kiss was when I was 19, and when I immediately confessed to that person it was my first kiss, feeling like it was important to reveal the full truth of my inexperience and not delude him about what he was getting into (...), he later admitted that this was in fact shocking b/c I seemed like "a cute girl."

All that being said, I think gradually giving yourself chances to better those skills is important, not only for finding opportunities to meet people but for trusting yourself enough to develop relationships that are underway. It might also go towards building up confidence and trusting other people's interest in you. In the wild or on dating sites, finding someone you really click with can just be hard, period, so opening up to more chances is probably helpful. People do judge each other sometimes for ridiculous things; I've found that it works for me to make mental patterns of what traits particular people judge, knowing they just have certain biases and that it's not necessary me. Remember that people are various and that most people are fuckups in some way anyway, so it doesn't really matter in the end.

You may not be actually as shy or socially autistic as me so... if you're reading this and it's overkill just, you know, ignore.

[consentingadult]

Like hkkmr said, there are probably not that many SEIs on dating sites, and if there are,, recognizing them is difficult, because pics often obscure people's type, and descriptions are not self-expressions, but advertisement that say what people think they are supposed to say.

But there are quite a SEIs on the internet. I'll share how I met my SEI gf: I was in charge of the technical maintenance of a web site, and one day I was cleaning my house, and found some items that I wanted to get rid of. So I posted a message on that web site, offering, amongst other things, a foot spa (how Si can one get?), to be picked up at no charge. She contacted me, we made an appointment for her to pick up the foot spa, and the rest is history.

[Beautiful sky]

The real question is, how to make soup while tied up?
If I could figure out how to do that, I would be one hell of a multi-tasking SEI. I'm not sure I even have it in me to strive for that kind of efficiency.

@Reficulris, I understand how you feel- I am also ridiculously shy, have the social skills of one of the zookeeper's monkeys (actually I hear many ape species have well-defined social structures... an E7 IEE spent some time telling me about this once...), and go on the16types too much when bored during work. A lot of my flaws are less endearing. Sometimes men do approach me and I deflect them or simply say something autistic sounding (something that somehow also signals to them they will likely not get laid) and they go away. My first kiss was when I was 19, and when I immediately confessed to that person it was my first kiss, feeling like it was important to reveal the full truth of my inexperience and not delude him about what he was getting into (...), he later admitted that this was in fact shocking b/c I seemed like "a cute girl."

All that being said, I think gradually giving yourself chances to better those skills is important, not only for finding opportunities to meet people but for trusting yourself enough to develop relationships that are underway. It might also go towards building up confidence and trusting other people's interest in you. In the wild or on dating sites, finding someone you really click with can just be hard, period, so opening up to more chances is probably helpful. People do judge each other sometimes for ridiculous things; I've found that it works for me to make mental patterns of what traits particular people judge, knowing they just have certain biases and that it's not necessary me. Remember that people are various and that most people are fuckups in some way anyway, so it doesn't really matter in the end.

You may not be actually as shy or socially autistic as me so... if you're reading this and it's overkill just, you know, ignore.

lol more people should read your posts...so good

[Reficulris]

@consentingadult: If you ever have time, lets meet up. I've moved to Amsterdam fairly recently (4 months ago) and my social circle could do with some additions.

@Reficulris, I understand how you feel- I am also ridiculously shy, have the social skills of one of the zookeeper's monkeys (actually I hear many ape species have well-defined social structures... an E7 IEE spent some time telling me about this once...), and go on the16types too much when bored during work. A lot of my flaws are less endearing. Sometimes men do approach me and I deflect them or simply say something autistic sounding (something that somehow also signals to them they will likely not get laid) and they go away. My first kiss was when I was 19, and when I immediately confessed to that person it was my first kiss, feeling like it was important to reveal the full truth of my inexperience and not delude him about what he was getting into (...), he later admitted that this was in fact shocking b/c I seemed like "a cute girl."

All that being said, I think gradually giving yourself chances to better those skills is important, not only for finding opportunities to meet people but for trusting yourself enough to develop relationships that are underway. It might also go towards building up confidence and trusting other people's interest in you. In the wild or on dating sites, finding someone you really click with can just be hard, period, so opening up to more chances is probably helpful. People do judge each other sometimes for ridiculous things; I've found that it works for me to make mental patterns of what traits particular people judge, knowing they just have certain biases and that it's not necessary me. Remember that people are various and that most people are fuckups in some way anyway, so it doesn't really matter in the end.

You may not be actually as shy or socially autistic as me so... if you're reading this and it's overkill just, you know, ignore.

It's not overkill, it's quite endearing to see someone open up, makes me feel less alone in being shy.

Actually, no-one who knows me would describe me as "shy". Dominating, assertive, loud etc, not shy. It's just that I am sociable in situations in which I feel like I've got a reason to be there, some kind of context. When it's unfamiliar I close up like a clam, start stuttering and looking for exits. There is a wide gap between how I come across and how I feel internally.

Like you, my first kiss/relationship was kinda late, about 18 years old and people always thought I was being critical/overly selective while actually I was just too shy to admit any type of feelings. I'd do the teenager-doe-eyed staring at people but I'd just end any contact abruptly just because I didn't feel comfortably I've noticed that i'm usually not the chaser, but rather the one who expects being courted, not because i'm that arrogant, but because I need someone to convince me I'm worth their attention, it's wierd.

[mu4]

Apple pie and cookies would be more likely. I know, I live in a filthy backroom with an SEI!

A ILE will only tolerate a filthy backroom for so long before they start going insane...

[consentingadult]

A ILE will only tolerate a filthy backroom for so long before they start going insane...

I'm not ILE ;-)

[mu4]

I'm not ILE ;-)

Yes, go tell the SEI to clean. ^_^

[consentingadult]

Yes, go tell the SEI to clean. ^_^

With their Fe PoLR? I don't think so!
@Reficulris: I'm 47 years old, probably way to old for you!

[mu4]

With their Fe PoLR? I don't think so!
@Reficulris: I'm 47 years old, probably way to old for you!

Actually people with weak often don't mind simple tasks they have experience with. A lot of individuals engage in a superficial form of interaction with their PoLR to fill social roles. The super-ego is a area of social pressure but that doesn't mean you run away from it always.

SEI's and ILE's can both be fairly lazy about chores and basic things, but the ILE isn't suited for living in disorderly and haphazard environments, they are generally the ones who initiates the complaining about the environment which prompts the SEI to action. Once things are accomplished, both can enjoy the new environment which satisfies desire for order and desires for cleanliness.

This also open the possibility for guests and people to visit, bonus!!!

[Reficulris]

With their Fe PoLR? I don't think so!
@Reficulris: I'm 47 years old, probably way to old for you!

I wasn't particularly thinking of trying to seduce you

And I'm not really age-biased when it comes to friends.

[lemontrees]

Actually people with weak often don't mind simple tasks they have experience with. A lot of individuals engage in a superficial form of interaction with their PoLR to fill social roles. The super-ego is a area of social pressure but that doesn't mean you run away from it always.

True.

SEI's and ILE's can both be fairly lazy about chores and basic things, but the ILE isn't suited for living in disorderly and haphazard environments, they are generally the ones who initiates the complaining about the environment which prompts the SEI to action. Once things are accomplished, both can enjoy the new environment which satisfies desire for order and desires for cleanliness.

This also open the possibility for guests and people to visit, bonus!!!

I clean my apartment a lot, although I live alone. It's not like I hide an ILE under my bed who is prompting me to clean for his/her sake. I've definitely seen ILE's who live in utter slobbery- there was one time when I was taking a trip with an ILE friend somewhere, and I had to spend 30 min first cleaning months of garbage out from his car because I actually couldn't bear to sit in it. Into that same car he loaded 6 months' worth of laundry to bring to his aunt, whom we were visiting, so that she could do it for him.

[mu4]

I clean my apartment a lot, although I live alone. It's not like I hide an ILE under my bed who is prompting me to clean for his/her sake. I've definitely seen ILE's who live in utter slobbery- there was one time when I was taking a trip with an ILE friend somewhere, and I had to spend 30 min first cleaning months of garbage out from his car because I actually couldn't bear to sit in it. Into that same car he loaded 6 months' worth of laundry to bring to his aunt, whom we were visiting, so that she could do it for him.

I think ILE can be prone to living in utter slobbery due to various reasons, this is more common when young and unskilled, but I think this sort of environment is mentally unhealthy for them and over time they resolve these issues. Also you did clean it for him (^_^), although if it got that bad I think maybe they're not very happy or healthy. ILE's are slobs but they're the kind of slob that clean their house perfectly before inviting guests over.

I get this sort of existential angst when I need to clean, like my world is about to end.... X_X In many ways I don't really "clean", I "organize". It's a similar activity but instead of using a spray bottle and a duster, I put things in appropriate places. Similarly when I do dishes, it's putting dishes in a dishwasher and/or back into cabinets. I think the way people consciously think about mundane actions can be quite different depending on information processing.

How do you think of your cleaning process.

Also I think ILE really appreciate people that help them in these sort of activities. As people develop they become more true to their "type" so to speak, the natural preferences becomes more relevant.

Also imo mental health can often acutely affect the environment around someone but this can be balanced by having someone else supporting one in a time of need.

[DirectorAbbie]

Regarding the profile picture question, here are some pictures of SEIs.
http://gallery.socionix.com/Alpha/Fe-ISFp/
http://gallery.socionix.com/Alpha/Si-ISFp/

[consentingadult]

With their Fe PoLR? I don't think so!
@Reficulris: I'm 47 years old, probably way to old for you!

Did I say Fe-PoLR? Of course, I meant Te-PoLR here...

Actually people with weak often don't mind simple tasks they have experience with. A lot of individuals engage in a superficial form of interaction with their PoLR to fill social roles. The super-ego is a area of social pressure but that doesn't mean you run away from it always.

SEI's and ILE's can both be fairly lazy about chores and basic things, but the ILE isn't suited for living in disorderly and haphazard environments, they are generally the ones who initiates the complaining about the environment which prompts the SEI to action. Once things are accomplished, both can enjoy the new environment which satisfies desire for order and desires for cleanliness.

This also open the possibility for guests and people to visit, bonus!!!

I don't think SEIs are really bad with cleaning, only they do not make a big fuss about it. The home of an SEI is often a colorful, creative, imaginative and functional 'chaos'.

Here's a test: which of the following lifestyle images match those of the SEI (and in fact, the SEI/ILE pair) best?

Gemaksgeorienteerden.JPG Kosmopolieten.JPG traditionele_burgerij.jpg opwaarts_mobielen.jpg postmaterialisten.jpg nieuwe_conservatieven.jpgpostmoderne_hedonisten.jpg moderne_burgerij.jpg

(for more info on this model: http://www.motivaction.nl/en/mentality)

@Reficulris: we can have a beer someday.

[mikemex]

So... I'm hunting SEI's. Any information from preferably SEI's themselves about the following stuff:

VI: What does a SEI profile picture look like? What would you put up? What characteristics to look for?

SEI professions: What fields are you working in?

SEI profile descriptions: What are your "likes/dislikes", what is your writing style?

Thanks a lot!

I know a porno video where you can see SEI mannerisms and expressions from close but I don't think it's appropiate to post it here. PM if you want the link.

[mu4]

opwaarts_mobielen.jpg

This is how I decorate for myself.

moderne_burgerij.jpg

Maybe this is the best pair picture.

I don't think SEI's are bad at cleaning, they're much better at it in many cases than a ILE would be, ILE's however can be big whiners(while not doing much) about it.

Like I often say, "I really need to do some cleaning", promptly do some other stuff, and leave nothing accomplished as far as cleaning.

[Reficulris]

opwaarts_mobielen.jpg

This is how I decorate for myself.

moderne_burgerij.jpg

Maybe this is the best pair picture.

I don't think SEI's are bad at cleaning, they're much better at it in many cases than a ILE would be, ILE's however can be big whiners(while not doing much) about it.

Like I often say, "I really need to do some cleaning", promptly do some other stuff, and leave nothing accomplished as far as cleaning.

This is how i decorate, no literally, this is my home...
933924_583611668357200_1308093476_n.jpg1011366_583611585023875_1892450691_n.jpg1233480_599923833392650_71864499_n.jpg

Or was, It's more spiffy now as this was several months ago. Still, a general lack of color (although I'm planning to make some pillows).
I need a SEI to help me make it cozy!!!

[Reficulris]

The general lack of comments on my appartment shows that I need to make it a more efficient SEI trap

And I agree with hkkmr: I go into a "cleaning" rage when I get guests. Although it's more organising than cleaning, I usually vacuum clean my house but beyond that i'm not much of a scrubber or cleaner.

[ClownsandEntropy]

Regarding the profile picture question, here are some pictures of SEIs.
http://gallery.socionix.com/Alpha/Fe-ISFp/
http://gallery.socionix.com/Alpha/Si-ISFp/

I'm a little bit dubious about all those on the link being SEIs. To your knowledge are the galleries here pretty accurate?

[DirectorAbbie]

I'm a little bit dubious about all those on the link being SEIs. To your knowledge are the galleries here pretty accurate?

To my knowledge they are, but I've never heard of most of the people mentioned and am poor at VI, so maybe you shouldn't trust me in this.

[ClownsandEntropy]

To my knowledge they are, but I've never heard of most of the people mentioned and am poor at VI, so maybe you shouldn't trust me in this.

Meh, that's good enough for me. I'll probably watch a few interviews once my internet stops being slow to be fully convinced.

[Amber]

The most submissive to gender roles.

Visual cues : cute , in happiest cases usually around 7 on a hotness scale. Perfect wifey / hubby material according to social conventions in an area.