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Thread: Death anxiety

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    Default Death anxiety

    Mortality is horrifying salient in the mind of humanity. Have you had any experiences with death anxiety? Near death? Bad trips on drugs? Did it change you?

    If not, do you think death anxiety lies beneath some of your life patterns? Might it be a source of depression? Maybe driven self-determination?

    Death is inescapable, yet fearing it is curable... I think facing it allows us to rise above it. The most significant changes in someone's life are those that change their relationship to death...

    I look forward to hearing everyone's responses.

    Take care,
    A humble holon...

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    The inevitability of death makes me fear it far less, actually.

    I find that life in general diverges based on such seemingly small variables that dying in a split second is one of the many possibilities of things that could happen. I've had large parts of my life hinge on getting a certain job, doing a certain course or getting certain marks in an entrance exam that it's almost absurd to consider. I've also been so incredibly close to being hit as a pedestrian by a car that it could very well have been a moment that could have killed me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Socrates
    The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways—I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows.
    Death may be a terrible fate, or it may be something extremely good. Nobody truly knows, so I believe the most important thing is to live a good life.
    All the good are friends of one another. (Zeno of Citium)
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    it doesn't linger in my conscience long, but I'm terrified of it. actually, it's the transition that scares me and the possibility that there is nothing after. I know, if there is nothing, then it shouldn't matter to me, since I won't be there, but yeah, it's the not being there that scares the shit out of me. I don't want to cease existing, no matter how miserable I can get in life sometimes.

    had a few "I'm dying" drug experiences in my life, but I don't feel like going into them in detail. generally it's a sense of this giant nothingness (yet somehow with chillingly impartial awareness to it on some level) enveloping me, and frantic grasping/regret at losing my life.

    the thing that I think really disturbs me about those experiences, is that I have somewhat of a notion that we "decide" our path after this life through our state at death (what we've worked out and not worked out). it frightens me where that vision of death would lead.

    but yet, I also have a hope that that is just the transition. that if there is something after death, there would be a clarity that would come afterwards when life is put into context, and a person/soul can regroup to go their right way without those fears coming through. or, maybe those fears need to be worked out before for the smooth transition. or maybe jesus comes and helps you along. or you just stop. I have no answers to what happens, only possibilities, some worrisome and some that give a measure of solace.


    as for the changing part, I've had drug experiences (above) and I've had a few profound spiritual/religious experiences both off and on drugs. yes, they changed me, or at least were catalysts for some of the major psycholigical changes I've gone through in life. I cannot see any of these experiences through just one ideological frame though, so while they may have sparked or shown needs to change, they don't answer any questions about what the deep reality is, as I see them through multiple lenses: religious/spiritual, psychological, just the drugs, etc, and all of the above as a possibility as well. so, no answers, just further wonder and doubt.

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    I'm not afraid of death but I am afraid of dying painfully, of the last thing in awareness before it goes away being excruciating pain.

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    Death is the scariest thing around because we cannot understand what happens and we fear limbo.

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    I have more injury/mutilation anxiety than death anxiety. For instance, if I was in a horrible accident I'd probably rather die than lose an arm or spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. My logic is that we're all going to die eventually, so it can't be that horrible.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    My logic is that we're all going to die eventually, so it can't be that horrible.
    Heheheh.

    Have you picked your coffin already?
    Last edited by Absurd; 10-19-2013 at 03:20 PM.

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    I remember watching over a chasm in a steel, cellar-like space, something on its own and indifferent, with a chilled foreboding that drew me closer. I couldn't see or really feel myself, the only thing that enveloped me was this slow, grating sense of passing, like whatever elements that could've been important were stripped away. eventually I moved through it, and underneath was this stone slab that was appropriately cold and just solid enough. it was almost a reminder, but ultimately just became a state of mind, a distant certainty of 'where' I was. a few days later I had the same vision, only then an orb was hovering just past the abyss, slowly oscillating, and I felt I had become it, knowing that this is where one ends up, past the illusion of hope or something more. it didn't reinforce a sense of mortality so much as define what it actually means to be alive, in terms of the values we stake. the orb returned about a week later, and I knew I had moved 'through' it. it took several days of feeling like my memory had been whitewashed and self sublimated, eventually I caved in until there was no difference, and a silent pulse gently emerged... it had this warmth and familiarity that didn't overwhelm the desolation. it became less that I live for this than this is why I'm still alive. I think peoples' lives can be reduced to a single moment that tends to have an external correlate but which isn't dependent on one. in this way there's an existential basis for the idea of 'more.' not fully committed to reincarnation, but my notion of choice lends itself to some of the ideas.
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    Don't reincarnate into an ant's body.

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    I'm not really horrified by my mortality. I only feel death anxiety when I'm in a dangerous situation. I don't know if I can call it a near death experience, but once I almost drowned. I was a child and I wanted to turn a somersault in the swimming pool. And while I tumbled around I lost my sense of orientation. I didn't know where the surface was anymore. It took me a few moments till I found it again. That was a scary moment.

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    I've always thought about what happens after we die. Like when does consciousness cease or does it continue forever????? Like, like, one time I was thinking, after I am dead, will I not be conscious of the fact that I'm dead?? I think, like most non-religious ppl, that after you die, you simply are not conscious nemore and there is nothing and no sensory delights like heaven or ghostism, but hten i'm like, wth that sucks, but at least there's no MORE PAIN. So I just imagine myself dying every night and try to think of what would happen to my body and mind as I'm dying, last night I was thinking about if I was shot in the head and didn't die right away but realized I was going to die, and tried to imagine myself in that position and thinking of all the pros and cons of dying and losing consciousness 4ever! and i thought, wow this isn't so bad, at least i don't have to wipe my butt anymore but then i was like, oh crap i'll never have the orgasmic goo of a woman on my penis EVER AGAIN, then I had a panic attack and nearly died of asphyxiation. oh well! lol.

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    You would get reincarnated into a gay man's body, Leger.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Grain of a Song of Sand View Post
    Mortality is horrifying salient in the mind of humanity. Have you had any experiences with death anxiety? Near death? Bad trips on drugs? Did it change you?

    If not, do you think death anxiety lies beneath some of your life patterns? Might it be a source of depression? Maybe driven self-determination?

    Death is inescapable, yet fearing it is curable... I think facing it allows us to rise above it. The most significant changes in someone's life are those that change their relationship to death...

    I look forward to hearing everyone's responses.

    Take care,
    A humble holon...
    Yes I have had some bad trips on drugs and I have GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and a mild depression which are IMO consequences of my abuse of marijuana from 15 to 19 years old when finally after a lung infection I had to stop it -- and it was the fear of death that made me stop smoking weed. Since then I have frequent anxiety bursts and I was on several meds to help alleviate this, and also got into abuse of alcohol for many years until some 5 months ago when I decided to quit otherwise my life would be endless depression and worsened anxiety after I drank.

    That having been said, I find it useful to take meds, but talking to a doctor is very important not only to get the prescriptions but also to talk abt your reactions to these meds. I'm currently on 20mg fluoxetine (prozac) , 900mg of Gabapentin (it helped a lot for anxiety) and from 2 to 6 mg Clonazepam (which is marketed under various names, here mostly Rivotril but in the US mostly Klonopin) as needed. I am also trying by myself to introduce Lamotrigine and started yesterday taking 50mg of it, because I had taken it before, but I woke up with very low blood pressure so I decided to quit this self-medicating thing although I can say that I read so much about these psychiatric meds that I know a lot about them and this low blood pressure is very unlikely a result of Lamotrigine interacting with any of these drugs.

    From my valued Si pov I can tell you that it is better to live feeling well with medication than to live feeling uncomfortable without them, but this is just my opinion of course.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    I've always thought about what happens after we die. Like when does consciousness cease or does it continue forever????? Like, like, one time I was thinking, after I am dead, will I not be conscious of the fact that I'm dead?? I think, like most non-religious ppl, that after you die, you simply are not conscious nemore and there is nothing and no sensory delights like heaven or ghostism, but hten i'm like, wth that sucks, but at least there's no MORE PAIN. So I just imagine myself dying every night and try to think of what would happen to my body and mind as I'm dying, last night I was thinking about if I was shot in the head and didn't die right away but realized I was going to die, and tried to imagine myself in that position and thinking of all the pros and cons of dying and losing consciousness 4ever! and i thought, wow this isn't so bad, at least i don't have to wipe my butt anymore but then i was like, oh crap i'll never have the orgasmic goo of a woman on my penis EVER AGAIN, then I had a panic attack and nearly died of asphyxiation. oh well! lol.
    Actually this train of thought about death led me to a spiritual search. I very much like Tibetan Buddhism in its very practical and down-to-earth philosophy and practice. They say that when you die basically your gross mind stops functioning and there is a sudden glimpse of your most subtle mind, which is equal to 'God', and this usually presents itself in three steps, first you see a very bright white light and you feel peace, if you do not unite with this light, because it is scary too they say, then you will see everything getting red and then everything getting dark until you finally loose consciousness and then you either enter into a sort of dreamworld created by your own karma in this life until you are reborn or you just remain unconscious until you enter a woman's egg at the time when it is hit by a man's spermatozoid, that is, time of conception of a baby.

    But even from a materialistic pov, people rarely just die boom all of a sudden, there is usually a process of gradually loosing conciousness until you die. If you are shot in the head by a shotgun then of course it is like that, boom and then you lost consciousness, but don't we all loose consciousness every night in deep sleep where there are no dreams? So we die every night, and we come back, it is like we are reborn every time we sleep, but we don't pay attention to this and think that death is something very foreign to us. The only difference in death is that this loss of conciousness would be permanent, and we wouldn't come back. I do not believe it would be that easy to end such a powerful thing as our being, so I agree more with the tibetan pov than the scientific pov on death.

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    I don’t really fear death; I fear pain and time.

    Sometimes it seems like I almost recall thinking “if I go it could be very unpleasant” because I didn't have a choice. I also almost recall being born in a sense, but it’s more like I remember disliking breathing, it was difficult, and I had to get used to it. All these “thoughts” sound ridiculous though, so I tell myself it was probably a dream I had.

    There are different stages people go through in life and the severity of their feelings for death. I've read when you’re old, you just accept the inevitable.
    I almost drown when I was a toddler and I have no anxiety about water or death.

    No real anxiety about death at all. I do have anxiety about time lost because you can’t get it back.
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

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    As far as Buddhism goes, I prefer the concept of death as "blowing out the candle". Blow out the candle, there is no longer a flame, no pain, no suffering, no death(because you only have one death to die).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    You would get reincarnated into a gay man's body, Leger.
    I've always wanted to be inside of you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    I've always wanted to be inside of you.
    I meant BnD.

    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    As far as Buddhism goes, I prefer the concept of death as "blowing out the candle". Blow out the candle, there is no longer a flame, no pain, no suffering, no death(because you only have one death to die).
    That's bollocks, but when you meet the Abominable Snowman and find mummy that was yourself in an earlier incarnation let me know.
    Last edited by Absurd; 10-19-2013 at 08:21 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    As far as Buddhism goes, I prefer the concept of death as "blowing out the candle". Blow out the candle, there is no longer a flame, no pain, no suffering, no death(because you only have one death to die).
    Yea, but that'd be too easy. And suicide would be instinctively pursued by many more human beings than it actually is. In spite of all the suffering, dissatisfaction, etc, there is an unconscious force that drives one to survive, to live.

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    As contradictory as it sounds, rollercoasters frighten me more than the actual idea of being dead.
    Moonlight will fall
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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    I meant BnD.



    That's bollocks, but when you meet the Abominable Snowman and find mummy that was yourself in an earlier incarnation let me know.
    How is it bollocks? It's pretty much in line with what I already believe, which is that once we die we cease to exist. Fairly common view of death.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    How is it bollocks? It's pretty much in line with what I already believe, which is that once we die we cease to exist. Fairly common view of death.
    Okay, seeing you're genuinely pondering Buddhism (I can be wrong), know that in order to actually believe in a doctrine, and Buddhism is a doctrine, esoteric one, you have to take it apart and accept every single component it comes with.

    Did you do that?

    If yes, I can continue,

    If not, I can't,

    And will not cease to lul.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Okay, seeing you're genuinely pondering Buddhism (I can be wrong), know that in order to actually believe in a doctrine, and Buddhism is a doctrine, esoteric one, you have to take it apart and accept every single component it comes with.

    Did you do that?

    If yes, I can continue,

    If not, I can't,

    And will not cease to lul.
    Lol, I'm not genuinely pondering Buddhism, nor do I believe in it. Buddhism encompasses several schools, are you saying in order to accept Buddha into my heart I have to believe everything that every school teaches? What about tiny, fringe sects? Or american "buddhist" prophets who've created their own sects, should I believe what they say too? What about that kid I knew in high school who claimed to be a buddhist-christian-atheist? Should I also absorb his VAST KNOWLEDGE TOO? What about teachings that contradict other teachings? How do I know which teaching is right? Should I write them down on pieces of paper, throw them into a hat, blindly pick one piece of paper at a time and only believe the ones I pick first? If I get drunk every day, am I not allowed to call myself a buddhist? If a christian murders his children and fucks their dead bodies, can he call himself a christian still? If i get an abortion, will I forever be BANNED FROM CLAIMING REPUBLICAN ON MY VOTER REGISTRATION CARD????

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    How is it bollocks? It's pretty much in line with what I already believe
    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    Lol, I'm not genuinely pondering Buddhism, nor do I believe in it.
    Not only that - you never admit or deny anything. Seems it makes you more "interesting."

    Buddhism encompasses several schools, are you saying in order to accept Buddha into my heart I have to believe everything that every school teaches? What about tiny, fringe sects? Or american "buddhist" prophets who've created their own sects, should I believe what they say too? What about that kid I knew in high school who claimed to be a buddhist-christian-atheist? Should I also absorb his VAST KNOWLEDGE TOO? What about teachings that contradict other teachings? How do I know which teaching is right? Should I write them down on pieces of paper, throw them into a hat, blindly pick one piece of paper at a time and only believe the ones I pick first? If I get drunk every day, am I not allowed to call myself a buddhist? If a christian murders his children and fucks their dead bodies, can he call himself a christian still? If i get an abortion, will I forever be BANNED FROM CLAIMING REPUBLICAN ON MY VOTER REGISTRATION CARD????
    Parse your text, it is a pain to read, and I'm going to seriously need Buddhism to deliver me from pain after reading your word salad. On a side note, I have had this fine convo with some person over PM and it seems to me, you're not interested in learning, only in "debating" with a live person, posing questions only so that you can argue the answers. I know your type of people very well - you're an eternal question mark on a "intellectual crusade."

    As for the numerous Buddhist sects, the doctrine remains the same, you "enlightened" idiot. Only the ways to "enlightenment" differ with every sect.

    In other words, you want personal attention from people so you can waste their productive time, and even after people explain stuff to you, you don't listen but merely pose more questions. A debate with you is fruitless.
    Last edited by Absurd; 10-19-2013 at 10:20 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Not only that - you never admit or deny anything. Seems it makes you more "interesting."
    I stated a belief, which happens to be one shared by some buddhists. Did you want me to say I'm a Buddhist?


    Parse your text, it is a pain to read, and I'm going to seriously need Buddhism to deliver me from pain after reading your word salad. On a side note, I have had this fine convo with some person over PM and it seems to me, you're not interested in learning, only in "debating" with a live person, posing questions only so that you can argue the answers. I know your type of people very well - you're an eternal question mark on a "intellectual crusade."
    I don't care what you and mysterious pmer discuss in your spare time together, but I might suggest talking about something more entertaining.


    As for the numerous Buddhist sects, the doctrine remains the same, you "enlightened" idiot. Only the ways to "enlightenment" differ with every sect.
    Not true. Maybe you have some alternative opinion on what constitutes "doctrine". Most buddhist sects have a handful of mutually held beliefs, they do not all subscribe to the same doctrine, hence the reason for several sects. "ways to enlightenment" = component of doctrine, differences in component of doctrine = difference in doctrine.

    In other words, you want personal attention from people so you can waste their productive time, and even after people explain stuff to you, you don't listen but merely pose more questions. A debate with you is fruitless.
    Yes, this forum is known far and wide for it's conservation of "productive time" resources. No argument there.

    Due to your constant sexual harassment, you are on permanent ignore, dear sir.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Legerdemain View Post
    I stated a belief, which happens to be one shared by some buddhists. Did you want me to say I'm a Buddhist?
    Nah, you can keep your beliefs to yourself - as far as I am concerned you can even believe in a giant pot of gold at the end of the rainbow guarded by some midget, but not associate with intellectual midgets at all...

    You being vocal about your beliefs on a public forum enables me to throw a thing or two in, though, so don't get your panties in a twist - I'm not going to change your diaper after. Of course, I have the choice to not even respond, but as you can see, I did respond.

    I don't care what you and mysterious pmer discuss in your spare time together, but I might suggest talking about something more entertaining.
    Of course you don't care, I would be offended if you did.

    Not true. Maybe you have some alternative opinion on what constitutes "doctrine". Most buddhist sects have a handful of mutually held beliefs, they do not all subscribe to the same doctrine, hence the reason for several sects. "ways to enlightenment" = component of doctrine, differences in component of doctrine = difference in doctrine.
    A doctrine is a doctrine, simply speaking an almanach of beliefs and teachings and I have to disagree with the rest of your, once again, word salad, for you're interpreting stuff here that doesn't really require interpretation at all.

    All of Buddhism places importance in reincarnation for example, doesn't matter whether it is Shiva-ism or Tantrik "Buddhism", which actually isn't even Buddhism, but hey you're free to believe in anything you want and devour Tantrik sex pages from Jadae's holy book in tiny chat.

    Yes, this forum is known far and wide for it's conservation of "productive time" resources. No argument there.
    In your case I wholeheartedly agree.

    Due to your constant sexual harassment, you are on permanent ignore, dear sir.
    Hahahha!

    I've been thinking about reporting you for a long time as well, love.

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    The only thing that scares me about death is the thought of leaving my kids without a mother and not seeing them grow up. If not for them I don't think it would feel that huge to me.

    My husband worries about death. I think that might be a middle aged man mid life crisis thing.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    For some reason, the fear of dying has made its way into my life as a daily worry..its become the last thing i think about before i fall asleep, which is not a fun thing. I know that 30 is not "old", but it's been happening ever since i finally accepted im not young anymore, i have responsibilities and health is something i need to think about more seriously. And then i think about how quick the last ten years went and worry if , from now on, 20 will go bye just as fast and it scares the hell out of me. Mainly because i think i haven't accomplished much of anything worthwhile that if i were to die tomorrow, I'd be impressed and proud of. So i guess that the nothingness after death is scary for me, but living a meaningless life is a lot more terrifying and is the cause of my death anxiety. A meaningful life can't be purchased, it has to come from within..and being someone who has never felt satisfaction, it's scary beyond belief.

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    I've never had any sort of death anxiety. I may be disappointed if I miss out on something because I died.
    Quote Originally Posted by Narc View Post
    The inevitability of death makes me fear it far less, actually.
    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I have more injury/mutilation anxiety than death anxiety.
    I don't fear being mutilated (state), but I fear being mutilated (process). Dying a horrible death is different; if I know I'm not going to live through it, I can be satisfied knowing pain won't last long. Recovery is unpleasant.
    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    As contradictory as it sounds, rollercoasters frighten me more than the actual idea of being dead.
    I like rollercoasters, but not merry-go-rounds.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    No death anxiety as of yet.
    Having observed functional, symbolically significant but empty nature of self/ego death as such is not a terrifying concept. The Buddhism did play a central role in that, with the ideas of emptiness and anatta. By the way these more core ideas place concepts of reincarnation as nothing more as moral metaphor.
    Not having a phantasmagorical and mystical view on self allows to witness changes in levels of awareness, changes in self concepts, self experience, cases of loss of memory, skill, cases of degradation, even cases of imperfection and errors as smaller instances of death. So it is not at all something alien.

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    And I am the tooth fairy if Buddhism treats/treated one of the most important ideas such a reincarnation (rebirth) "as nothing more as moral metaphor."

    Lul.

    People die and every religion (Buddhism being one of them) offers hope. In Buddhism, you never actually die but keep on living, and the standard of living depends on your previous life, even before the life you live now.

    So in a way it excuses rape, murder, genocide, etc., explaining it by a "it was determined to happen."
    Last edited by Absurd; 10-20-2013 at 05:53 PM.

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    Since I was 11, when I would look towards a future, i could see nothing but a nothingness before my 16th bday. As my 16th bday got closer....and closer...still there was nothing beyond it but that nothingness. As my father's abuse got more and more violent, I came to the realization that I wouldn't survive to my 16th bday. As the years turned into months, I began to panic. Something had to change if I wanted to make it past 16yo. So I changed. This was the point where I consciously split myself between how I was at home (the cringing mouse trying to evade detection) vs the manic behavior of a drowning person at school. It helped! I could finally see a future beyond 16yo.

    Except I could not see anything past 18yo, not even graduation. Still the abuse was getting worse, teachers were told to restrain themselves and not interfere, church people were told to not interfere, and extended family wanted to keep everything hush hush...if you see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil...then you can pretend the evil doesn't exist. During this time I had a few very close encounters with death. But even as I was being choked until the ears hear nothing but the pounding rush of blood and the eyes see nothing, and below the neck is numbness and above the neck feels like an expanding balloon, there was still a part of me that was struggling to save myself, I WANTED to live. Somehow, in my frantic efforts to stay alive, I finally managed to reach beyond my reach, across the last inches of space and jiggle with my fingertips the bottom lock of the heavy metal barred screen door which separated rescue (someone was on the other side pounding on the door to get in) from death. I honestly don't know how I did it. I do know that finally the pressure in my head was suddenly released, I was on the ground, the sound of blood rushing begain to subside, and as if from across a great cavern I coukd hear two men yelling. One of them was saying "I wasn't doing anything." THAT was my father. Caught red handed, and still claiming he was doing nothing wrong, that he hadn't been choking me. (All this because I had not given a super cheerful "good morning" to my step mother. A sleep mumbling good morning wasnt enough.)

    The man on the other side had been one of our church leaders. He was told NOT to interfere again. He was so outraged that he left the priesthood. His wife would not agree to him helping me, because the church leaders had given their orders. A few nights after this particular incident, I snuck out of the house to talk with my boyfriend, I wanted to run away. He convinced me to go back home and make a more thorough plan. But I couldn't get back in, because my absence had been discovered. Which resulted in yet another near death event in which my father tried to run us down in his truck. We survived...AND...I could finally see a future, I could finally imagine a life.

    Until I went to Utah, where my mother and brothers were. I call it Hatu...the backwards state. Everything was so oppressing. So many masks, so many false images, so much passive-aggression to those who would not or could not conform, it sickened me. Once again, the emptiness lay ahead in my future...I had 6 months to go. Then 4. Then 3 months. Then 2, then 6 weeks, then 4 weeks, then 2 weeks. I finally escaped utah with a pack on my back and my dogs at my side, leaving three days before the emptiness seemed due to arrive.

    After hitching a ride which would take us to california (anywhere but where we were), i knew the moment we had crossed the california border. I was sitting in the back, hiddling from the wind, dozing off and on, my dogs keeping me warm. Suddenly I had an image of a tree with branches suddenly spreading out. So many pathways opened up, so many possibilities. I suddenly felt light, like a massive weight had been lifted from me. I finally felt hope. I jerked awake and looked around. A large sign was receding in the distance. i asked where we were and was told we had just now entered california.


    ---
    Sometimes, when things seem tough, I remind myself of that uplifting experience. Each choice i make in life might prune my tree of options, but if I ensure that I care for the roots and the overall health of the tree, then more options will continue to grow.

    I do still fear death, but more along the lines of unfinished business such as ensuring my daughter's future wellbeing and not wanting my family to have to deal with my clutter after I am dead.

    I have a strong urge to survive, and I know it. Which helps when I am faced with adversity.

    And I have a belief that has been with me since I was in kindergarten, that I am here in this life to learn something, and my spirit...as in my atitudes...will carry into whatever is next. There probably wont be anything next. But my spirit can still continue through how I have influenced others. And so that is what I'm working on these days. So that in my final moment I can feel at peace that I had done what I could to better this world.

    However, again...I am more likely to do whatever it takes to survive before peacing out.
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    I think for most of my life I have sublimated death anxiety into "death drive". It's given my life a very odd sort of narrative and I've been told it makes me hard to relate to past a certain level, at least for most people.

    I can't really say how much any deathy stuff has changed me because I have felt more comfortable with it than non-deathy stuff a lot of the time. There's a certainty to it, where everything is calm and you can place yourself right in the eye of the storm, just kick back and relax. I don't find that much with the rest of life - gotta be in control.

    As chriscorey touched on, being born is traumatic and babies go through that all the time. It's healthy to have a fear of death but it's nothing you can't handle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    And I am the tooth fairy if Buddhism treats/treated one of the most important ideas such a reincarnation (rebirth) "as nothing more as moral metaphor."

    Lul.

    People die and every religion (Buddhism being one of them) offers hope. In Buddhism, you never actually die but keep on living, and the standard of living depends on your previous life, even before the life you live now.

    So in a way it excuses rape, murder, genocide, etc., explaining it by a "it was determined to happen."
    If you had a clue you would know that life and then reincarnation is adressed in buddhism first off all as delirious suffering which it is a way to end. End to life. Hardly a death denial religion you arety familiar with.
    The moral interpretation of reincarnation you present is pervers. The moral point is that everything will come back to you. You are causally trapped with all the rest of the rats in the wheel.

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    i don't seem to have much anxiety about death these days. several years ago i did, but i think it was largely due to one of my medications and panic over how i wasn't living my life. that's just regarding my own death though. these days i've been more aware of how my mom gets older every year and i don't like watching it happen because she was always this strong source of energy and now i think she's growing more fragile. and i can't stand the thought of her growing old and dying, of her not being there. i think i'm in denial about my grandparents and how either of them could die any year now. so now all of this seems horrifying rather than worries over my own mortality. it's like there are bigger fish to fry or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    If you had a clue you would know that life and then reincarnation is adressed in buddhism first off all as delirious suffering which it is a way to end. End to life. Hardly a death denial religion you arety familiar with.
    The moral interpretation of reincarnation you present is pervers. The moral point is that everything will come back to you. You are causally trapped with all the rest of the rats in the wheel.
    And if you had a clue Ticaud, reincarnation is the belief that when one dies, one's body decomposes but something of oneself is reborn in another body. It is the belief that one has lived before and will live again in another body after death, which is exactly what I wrote earlier. So I take it you've been a donkey in your past life what explains your inability to read.

    And by no means, it is even my interpretation, so think before you speak. Reincarnation coupled with karma, that is, the law of moral causation, deals with the things I wrote, so in a way, you're calling karma "pervers", which I happen to agree with, for it is perverse. Paraphrasing Legerdemain's famous "If a christian murders his children and fucks their dead bodies, can he call himself a christian still?" - of course he can, for according to karma his children deserved it, same with drugged parents brutalising their child - easy, for according to karma the child deserved it.

    In some funneh way, I pity you even though I shouldn't, for when you get reincarnated into a carrot, I'm going to eat you. Hey, it is nothing personal (you deserve it).

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    I'm of the opinion that only people who've lived unfulfilled lives and are old enough to understand the concept of death are afraid of it. That's actually why many cultures have myths about people who died too young becoming ghosts to fulfill what they couldn't finish in life.

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    Death would only relieve me so I'm okay with it.

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    @Absurd
    Do you really think derisive way of pushing you simplistic interpretations on to people while ignoring what they say is going to net you anything. Grow up.
    The actual philosophy behind and despite the religious content of Buddhism is quite subtle. You can forget about being able to appreciate it with your attitude. Not that some one is compelling you to.

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