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Thread: SLIs and stubborness - A follow up on "how to keep an IEE in love"

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    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
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    Default SLIs and stubborness - A follow up on "how to keep an IEE in love"

    A follow up for this thread started by @itscool.

    Quote Originally Posted by itscool
    Original post:
    -------------------------------------------
    For months my IEE ex has been showing (indirectly, most times) he wanted to get back together. I've slowly, and coyly (?) been letting him back in. Long story short he's finally blurted out his feelings for me, to my exquisite delight... but the question Is: how do I keep him hooked? Im afraid my reciprocated feelings have lessened the mystery. Do I have founded fears? Help...

    Edit: I'm a SLI female (gasp!) and he's the IEE

    Reply 1:
    ------------------------------------------
    Heh heh heh. You got me! I read it all only because of this post.

    So in brief I gathered (correct my synopsis if it isn't justified)
    Be novel. Give him room and encouragement to pursue his dreams (? Wait, even the wild, unreasonable ones?) Baby him when he's sick. Constantly strive for self improvement. Fix the broken things around the house. Every now and then remind him he's the bomb-diggity. And lastly, be his Rock of Gibraltar.

    ?

    Well those things I do, naturally, most of the time...I think... I just fear I wont always be able to be interesting for him...sigh...

    Reply 2:
    ------------------------------------------
    I'm new to this all- so everyone's replies are extremely useful. I've just been standing back from a distance, listening in on the conversation and it's amazing to see how accurate the socionics tool is in sketching out the interactions between types. ( I understand at the same time, no one is boxed into a type.. there Is room for variations, etc)

    I wanted to follow a logical approach to our relationship now -"what works" so to speak, so as to get the most benefit from each other. Upon further review though, its a relief that most of the aforementioned comes automatically to me... to us. We both love travelling, experiencing new things, creating artwork, spiritual things, and music. We share the same values and life goals. However, we are not Bobbsey twins. We naturally give each other the needed space without feeling distant. I have my own Interests and pursuits. After a phase of retreat (I like that) he comes springing back to me, every time. I, in turn get to carry out my secret agenda in showing love and support and he is smitten in return! It works for us.

    A little background for mikemex: We dated about a year and soon plunged into wedding talk, marriage and our future... all too soon though! (We had a year In mind to carry It all out) We are both religiously inclined and choose to live by a chaste standard as well. However, I wasn't emotionally ready,neither was he financially stable at the time-to me logically it didnt seem right! He suggested we extend it to 2 years. I couldn't think that far ahead. It sounds silly now, but I called it off. Everything. Two years was far to FAR for me to envision being with him, let alone a year. So I was furious... he was deeply saddened. I cut off all communication with him and thwarted every attempt at friendship he tried to make. Being just friends hurt too much. Pretty immature huh? It took me 3 years to approach him.. this time I was ready to just be friends (I had 0 expections for anything further than that then) I finally did, as mentioned at the outset and upon discussing everything with him, he's been wanting to reveal his feelings since day one (when I returned) so... that's us!

    Reply 3:
    ------------------------------------------
    I wanted to be married right there and then..

    Reply 4:
    ------------------------------------------
    Couldn't have said it better. Thanks for your comments everyone.

    My "diagnostic":

    .... To be honest with you, I see no valid reason for him to have forgiven you. ... it seems to me like he does much more for you than you do for him. Is it your conscience the one pulling your fears out?

    Reply 5:
    -----------------------------------------
    I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how you pulled that out of 2 posts. However your limited knowledge of our relationship explains your erroneous accusations. I have no need to defend same, simply because they were ridiculously innaccurate and not at all constructive towards the topic. We have an excellent relationship thus far and are ready now for what we werent then. I'm afraid those are all the details you need. I will tell you one thing though, my fears were brought out by reading up on the "stereotypical descriptions" of the IEE made by many-(yes sometimes it's true, sometimes it's false) - that IEE's are flittery.

    That's it.

    Thanks to everyone for your comments- at least some were insightful.

    ------------ CLOSES THE THREAD --------------
    OMG...

    LOL

    Let's not pay much attention to the fact that this was probably the first closed topic in Delta in like what? A month? A year? Maybe since it was created? You say something I don't like and I cross you off my list. What a way to discuss with an aim to find out the truth!

    But really, what an amazing way to brush off my justified critic of cutting this guy off essentially out of a rant. It wasn't a week or a month; it was for three years!

    I feel sorry for this guy because he doesn't seem to have the ballz to admit this woman is only using him. Call it immaturity if you wish but I call it mistaking dependence for love. Know what, screw Socionics. Why SLI shit is supposed to taste better than any other shit? She's nice only superficially; on the hard facts she's as shitty as it gets. What kind of person claims to love you but keeps you in constant fear that if you say or do something she doesn't like she will cut you off? I once read an article that explains the ways people ends up relationships and she falls into the category of people who just disappears because they don't want to give anyone explanations or justify themselves for anything. In other words, people who doesn't really care much about others.

    My conclusion is: maturity is about giving love only to the people who deserves it.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

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    InvisibleJim's Avatar
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    People are shitty.

    Whats new?

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    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    People make mistakes in life. Good work laughing at someone for making one.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    It's pretty cool

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    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
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    Dated about a year and soon plunged into wedding talk too soon. Is talking about getting married after a year of dating soon?
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    There's so much more to the story. Apologies I didnt want to bore you with the details. Talk about caring? Would you have cared to hear them all?

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    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itscool View Post
    There's so much more to the story. Apologies I didnt want to bore you with the details. Talk about caring? Would you have cared to hear them all?
    Yup. Anything to help a fallen angel get back to Heaven.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

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