IEEs-ENFps: regarding your childhood and parenting

[under the bridge]

While I continue to keep an open mind about my daughter's sociotype, the older she gets the more she exhibits signs that she is an ENFp. I already have a wealth of information that pertains to helping a child become a healthy and successful individual but I was curious if any IEEs(or anybody who had the opportunity to observe an IEE grow from a young age) had experiences or advice they'd like to share. Forcing a person to become something they are not is the last thing I want to do; I strive to encourage my daughter's strengths, teach her discipline, and increase her knowledge and understanding of the universe while being mindful not to overwhelm her. I have a few amazing ENFp friends whose brains I've tapped on this topic but I would like more input in case some of it could aid me in preventing potential problems I haven't foreseen and/or enhance my ability to help this beautiful little girl flourish in the manner she deserves. Thank you in advance.

When you reflect on your childhood...

What were things you feel that helped you to develop beneficial habits/skills?

What things do you wish your parents/mentors would have said and done differently in order to better reach you and help you grow?

Do you feel like you continue struggling with any problems you also dealt with as a youngster and, if so, what methods have you tried that failed to solve these?

Are there any 'words of wisdom' you received or harsh events you experienced that proved pivotal in improving your outlook on life?

[anndelise]

I'm a bit pressed for time, so might add more later.
First, imaginative play. Actually, first, how old is your daughter?
Ok, back to what i was thinking about...

Explore looking at situations from different povs. For example, observing a couple fighting. What might be going through each of their minds? Usually they each feel they are in the right, so keep that in mind as well...no simple "he's just trying to be an a-hole" reponses. For yourself, let her know what you were thinking when you did something, and why. Not just what you did with her, but what you did with the car, or your boss, or your friend, etc. The sooner she has access to a variety of people's inner thoughts, inner feelings, and inner motivations, the more information she will have to draw from when she faces similar situations herself...or has friends who face those kinds of situations..she can tell them different ways people have solved those same problems. She's going to do this anyways, but you'd be helping to expand her data base, while also inadvertently providing a logical structure to the problem solving without hitting her Ti polr. Iow, your stories themselves would automatically include Ti, without her having to produce the Ti herself.

When she has ideas on things she wants to do, help her brainstorm next steps...actual actions she can do that would take her one step closer. Not a full out strategy plan, but something she can accomplish now...or within a couple of days. This helps build success and confidence. The first accomplishments will let her know if she wants to continue that path...or change the path. And then another step that can be accomplished now. This builds into a snowball effect or, at the least, provides her with experiences and knowledge without feeling stuck. This ability to move on can help reduce fear of commitment which might occur if she's forced to follow a path she was merely curious about. But the feeling of accomplishing something, even something small, is a huge motivating factor and confidence builder.

Beware buying a bunch of stuff when she's just exploring something. Find other ways than "stuff". For example, rent a musical instrument for a couple of months before buying it. As her ideas and interests are likely to fluctuate. Make heavy use of the library for books, rather than buying them. Buy only that which she consistently sticks with for longer than a couple of months. This also poromotes creativity in finding alternative methods towards achieving what she has in mind. However, balance this with the idea of quality. For example, homemade musical instruments are one thing, but they don't provide much aesthetics and ease and beauty of sound that well made instruments do. NeFi's ideas place them at risk of cluttering their homes up with old interests. The sooner she knows she can let go of the old interest without guilt, and not to spend a bunch of money on a passing interest, the better for her in the long run.

Help her learn to destress via Si activities. Activities that pull her back into her body for a bit. Like walking while brainstorming or discussing things with you. Balance type activities, swimming, deep breathing meditation, yoga, etc.

Remember that she will be interested in how things logically WORK together...not how they are structured. Introduce her to systems thinking, cogs, pivot points, etc. For basic argument logic, there are two books I recommend. "The Thinking Toolbox" and "The Fallacy Detective" by Bluedorn. They are written in simple language, with humour, and even have a game idea for the family to help see how the concepts fit into everyday happenings. Maybe add in some thinking puzzles like Rush Hour, Sherlock, sudoku, cryptograms, etc. Help her find ones she enjoys. She'll never reach 3d+ Ti, but she can obtain some basic 2d(ish)Ti without getting polr hits. But ultimately, remember that she is going to be focusing on Te, which is something you're likely to consider irrelevant, or missing the point.

Take a look at reinin's dichotomies and keep an eye on which ones describe her...not necessarily on which describe IEE. When you find one that describes her methods, but also conflicts with your own, be willing to aim for mutual adaptableness to this potential conflict rather than conversion.

Sorry that the above don't answer your specific questions. But your questions had me thinking of how I wish I had been supported....
The first paragraph comes naturally, but can also benefit a parent-child relationship, and support her own nature.

The second and third paragraph is something that took me a while to recognize and find possible solutions to. It would have helped me greatly if I had been guided in that when I was young. (I'm 41 and still suffering from guilt, clutter, and debt from too many explorations and so few success due to ideas bigger than what i could actually accomplish.)

The fourth paragraph...about Si activities, has been a lifesaver for me and could have helped me more had I been introduced to this stuff earlier in life rather than having been pushed into competitive sports.

The fifth paragraph about logic is again something I had developed later in life, but could have benefited earlier. At the least I wouldn't have been made fun of for being a mental spazz when I was younger. To have ideas but not be able to form them well enough, think about and question them well enough, nor communicate them well isn't fun. Ignorance isn't always bliss.

And the Reinin's paragraph is something I learned about while raising my own daughter. It helps to know what might be causing a conflict of methods, and maybe how to adjust for it.

[under the bridge]

Actually, first, how old is your daughter?

She's almost three and a half. Of course I don't expect all responses to be immediately applicable but it never hurts to be ready for when the time comes.

Before I became a parent, as with any serious undertaking, it was crucial I prepare myself as much as possible to ensure I was competent enough for the responsibility and partially so I could say I contributed to making the world a little bit better. Ever since her birth I've been heavily involved in her education and growth to make sure she doesn't suffer the same trials I went through, in particular doubting her abilities and reasoning at the cost of losing herself and being unhappy. It's been a lot of work, overwhelming at times, but it has paid off when I see how much she can grasp at such a young age(I've never been a fan of parents that use "baby-talk" with their kids so I've always talked to her as though she was an adult). I've had many people comment on how old she seems(five and six are the most common ages mentioned), not only because of her intelligence but also her excellent behavior and genuine friendliness.
[/brag]

But ultimately, remember that she is going to be focusing on Te, which is something you're likely to consider irrelevant, or missing the point.

Thankfully interacting with my wife(SEE) has helped me become more aware of that type of logic and with conscious effort I can be somewhat decent at translating my message into that form. I will be looking into the books you mentioned.

Sorry that the above don't answer your specific questions. But your questions had me thinking of how I wish I had been supported....

No, you've given a perfect response to my inquisition; I wanted firsthand experience so I simply listed questions to churn IEE memory banks. I'm truly appreciative of your input, anndelise, it has given me much to contemplate. If you think of more to add I'd love to hear it.

[anndelise]

Please take the following with a large grain of salt due to its referencing of Reinin dichotomies.

Looking at http://zhilkin.com/socio/en/ and assuming everyone is typed correctly (and that types and reinin mean something), there might be a problem with you and your wife (supposedly) both being Asking-Strategic-Farsighted types, and your daughter (supposedly) being a Declaring-Tactical-Carefree type. (The supposedly refers to IF reinin andtypes mean anything.)

I think the Asking vs Declaring thing will be generally ok, maybe make sure that you also provide how/why/timing details to your stories instead of just short answers and especially instead of just asking her to think of it all by herself. Be cautious of asking her questions aimed at directing her to Ti, to strategize, and/or to forsee everything. (Polr, strategic, farsighted dichotomies she wouldn't naturally use.)

I can tell you from experience (my brother and I both have typed my daughter as SEE) that there could be serious problems regarding the parental Farsighted-Strategic vs the child's Carefree-Tactical. You two will likely be concerned that despite your best efforts to get her to consider things long term that even as an adult she's too childlike and spontaneous. (In my case, the parent has been more childlike than the child...which we laugh about.) I recommend looking these three dichotomies up in the wiki, maybe keep them in mind if/when you notice communication and goal-related difficulties.

Everything else seems balanced. You and your wife might disagree on some aspects of raising her, related to the other dichotomies, but together you both seem reinin-ly able to balance out not only supporting her natural tendencies but also giving her experiences with the other side of the dichotomy. Basically, a pretty well-rounded upbringing, it looks like (on paper).

And, once again...take this post with a large grain of salt. It already seems like you are doing good parenting, and interacting with her as a person is far more important than interacting with her as a type. She's a lucky kid to have such caring parents concerned with her psychological and future well-being.

[Waster]

@applejacks

[applejacks]

@applejacks

Hi Strider!!!!

And hello to you, @under the bridge!

Glad to hear you're reaching out in order to become the best parent that you can! I'd be happy to reflect on the questions you've posted, but my top pieces of advice would be to keep an open mind, let your daughter be your daughter, and provide structure and consistency, and reasoning/logic for your rules.

What were things you feel that helped you to develop beneficial habits/skills?

My parents both played critical roles in my development. My dad was ESTj, mom ISFp. Also, music and sports were essential for me. I had a truly natural talent in everything that I did, yet I severely lacked the discipline to work towards anything (especially if it didn't interest me). This is where my parents stepped in, and held me accountable for my commitments. Exposure to people of different ages (especially older) really sharpened me, as well, and the majority of that exposure came through my parents and their friends, as well as my extracurricular activities. I strongly recommend trying sports and music until your daughter finds one of each that she enjoys.

Seeing as ENFp / IEE are guided by their interest or boredom (especially younger, less developed ones), it was essential that I had logic or reasoning when being asked to do something that had little interest to me. I could at least respect what was being asked of me when doing chores, attending church, or other activities that I simply didn't want to partake in.

What things do you wish your parents/mentors would have said and done differently in order to better reach you and help you grow?

Honestly, my parents did more right than they did wrong, especially since I was such a happy child. (They often laugh and say they should have named me "Happy") What they did RIGHT was that, despite my faults, they allowed me to seek my own interests, and supported me in all of my endeavors. When I wanted to give something up, they'd tell me that this was a habit of mine, and they would hold me to commitments before allowing me to drop something.

As far as what could have been done better- my Mom always covered for my faults, and my Dad always pushed me to be a stronger, better person. I definitely needed both, but it was almost as if I had a buffer and wasn't placed under as much pressure as I should have for my actions, because my Mom came to my rescue (and I knew how to semi-manipulate this scenario).

For example: If I got a C on my report card, I'd approach my Mom first and appeal to her emotional side and explain my side of the situation. Then when my Dad found out, my Mom would defend me, and I'd sit at the dinner table and quietly eat as they debated each other. Then I'd go to my room Scott Free and continue on.

It sounds pretty awful when I type it this way, but IEEs are really good at connecting with people, and if we're not careful, it can be manipulative or used towards our advantage. My Dad saw through me, and I quite frankly wouldn't be the woman that I am today if it hadn't been for him and his higher expectations of me (as well as his support). But I still received the love and care of my Mother, which was also needed when my Dad was overbearing.

Do you feel like you continue struggling with any problems you also dealt with as a youngster and, if so, what methods have you tried that failed to solve these?

Not really. I didn't feel as if I had "problems" as a youngster, with the exception of a little wishy-washyness and the attitude of quitting when things got tough. But that is something that I overcame with time, and I improved on this when I realized that my follow-through affected my character, and how others perceived me. It was also critical that I find value in having a good, ethical character, because my parents carried themselves with dignity and also valued character. Without these things, I may not have overcome these challenges.

I still struggle with consistency today, however, because I live in the world of possibilities and find those much more interesting than what is right NOW. And this may be biased, but I truly believe that the IEE is one of the more challenging types to find a career that makes them happy / fulfilled. We need routine and structure, but we hate doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. My happiest career was as a consultant, in which my contracts changed often, and allowed me to utilize a spectrum of my capabilities and interests (Media, Diplomacy, IT, thinking on my feet, Travel & Adventure, etc).

Are there any 'words of wisdom' you received or harsh events you experienced that proved pivotal in improving your outlook on life?

There were times when I reached a junction, and my life could have gone either really well or really poorly. My parents were always at those junctions with me, and ALWAYS had advice to share which positively affected the outcome.

1) Know when to use compassion, especially during life critical moments: I had a huge failure in college that resulted out of a depression, and I was so sick and upset with myself, that any additional disappointment in me would have crushed me and buried me beyond recovery. When my Dad found out about this failure, I expected the harsh penalty and shame that I had earned, but instead he showed compassion. It changed my life, and I recovered fast, knowing that I was forgiven and capable of making things right.

2) Live your own advice. If they wanted me to do something, they always did it themselves. Also, my parents always told me, "it's not about how badly you mess up. It's about how you recover". They would tell me stories of what THEY messed up, and how they recovered in life, and I deeply respected that. They also said "never give up on family," and their actions always showed that they never would, either.

3) Highlight the good. I had a lot of love and support growing up, and I knew my talents. My parents were tactful when outlining my weaknesses, and as a result, I was aware of them, but confident in my capability to learn and power through them. It gave me self-esteem when I needed it, because I carried enough doubt and need to improve on my own, that the words of affirmation and positive reinforcement made me better as a person.

I'm sure I could continue on for hours, but I'd rather have feedback from you to see if any of this made sense or seemed worthwhile. Either way, please be sure to keep us updated on your daughter's growth!! I think it's so cool that you're taking such an active interest in her type at such a young age


EDIT: One more thing- when removed from people, I wilt. Plain and simple. If I go under extended periods of time in isolation, it's as if my gas tank has emptied and I cannot make it to the gas station to refuel (meaning, that I cannot force myself to go out and be around people, even though that's what I NEED).

Keep this in mind. It's important for us to learn how to be alone, but I've found that this is a fact of life that I must remember, especially when my tank is empty and I can't figure out why. People are essential to us... or at least me.

[fen]

Not sure if I should post here or not..

[applejacks]

Not sure if I should post here or not..

Sister from another mister!

You totally should.

[Suz]

I'm in a hurry so i dont have time to answer point by point, but i'll summarize my impressions of my childhood.

I have to say my childhood was not the easiest. Could be worse of course. We were poor, but always had a decent roof over our heads in a safe neighborhood and food for every meal, thanks to my persistent and resourceful mother. When my sister and i got newspaper routes, we could also even pay for music lessons. My father did not want to be part of the family, and left when my sister and i were babies. My mom had recently immigrated from the USSR shortly before we were born. So in short, she was stressed, very stressed. She is a pleasant and loving person in general, but as a mother in such a situation, was very strict (even though she refuses to relate to that term). My sister and I were overall well behaved, but if we "disobeyed" her or didn't do something like clean our dressers or if there was a mess, she would out of nowhere blow her top and get really mad, and actually be physically abusive with really severe punishments like having us stand on our knees until 4am while she yells at us with insults and hits us. Sometimes it was both my sister and me at the same time, sometimes one of us. If one of us got less than perfect on any test or a B in the report card, that would mean she would sit with us while we're doing homework and micro-manage, and possibly yell and hit. I remember actually, she CAUSED me to get a B instead of an A on a major English assignment in high school, because she insisted on this really over-the-top way of doing it which took forever, so I turned it in a day late, which meant it couldn't get more than a B. After that she backed off a bit.

I have to say that growing up like that did have quite a stifling effect on any free-spirit I may have. On the flip side, i dont know that I would have been as successful academically if not for that (maybe i would have been, i'll never know). But on the other hand, i look back and wonder, did I really NEED to be so successful. I mean here I am in my mid-30s,working day and night, training, barely affording my apartment, no savings, barely any freedom either. I'm a slave to my job. Many of my peers who had been worse students have been working full-time jobs for 12 years now, living the life, lots of freedom.

[applejacks]

Beware buying a bunch of stuff when she's just exploring something. Find other ways than "stuff". For example, rent a musical instrument for a couple of months before buying it. As her ideas and interests are likely to fluctuate. Make heavy use of the library for books, rather than buying them. Buy only that which she consistently sticks with for longer than a couple of months. This also poromotes creativity in finding alternative methods towards achieving what she has in mind. However, balance this with the idea of quality. For example, homemade musical instruments are one thing, but they don't provide much aesthetics and ease and beauty of sound that well made instruments do. NeFi's ideas place them at risk of cluttering their homes up with old interests. The sooner she knows she can let go of the old interest without guilt, and not to spend a bunch of money on a passing interest, the better for her in the long run.

YES, yes, and yes. Expect lots of exploration, in which only a handful of these curiosities may stick.

[anndelise]

@WorkaholicsAnon

That must have been scary...and frustrating...growing up that way.

For myself, i'd get beaten if I got less than an A. Belts, punches, head bashing. School was my escape from home. Academically I had it fairly easy. I was in honors classes but never really felt I belonged because those kids worked their butts off to get good grades while I'd do just enough to give the teacher what they had asked for...and then forget it all when the next subject started. My teachers would get upset because I wasn't striving to my potential.

Imo, I don't think academics translates well to success in the real world.

[applejacks]

Imo, I don't think academics translates well to success in the real world.

It doesn't. Robert Kiyosaki (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad) ran a study and found that A students typically end up working for C students, and B students typically work for the government. There are always exceptions of course, but I've seen many people do well in school and poorly in the real world (and vice versa).

I was a typical B/C student, and I fall true into this study's statistic.

[anndelise]

It doesn't. Robert Kiyosaki (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad) ran a study and found that A students typically end up working for C students, and B students typically work for the government. There are always exceptions of course, but I've seen many people do well in school and poorly in the real world (and vice versa).

I was a typical B/C student, and I fall true into this study's statistic.

Sounds about right.
Richard didn't like school, didn't get good grades, didn't go to college, but has been a production manager in the same place of business for many years, has a decent savings account along with investments and has time/energy to pursue his hobbies and an ebay business.

My daughter struggled with school, and when I pulled her out for her jr/sr year, she's blossoming, becoming self-starting, is complimented as a good worker, and has a far better chance surviving work environments than I ever had.

Old friends from high school who didn't get good grades in school are the ones with stable employments and don't bring their work home with them...allowing them to live life outside of their jobs. While the ones who were in honors societies and/or got straight A's are struggling with insecure positions, have to bring their work home with them, and suffering from burnout and stress-related illnesses. Quite a few of them want to go back to school/college...where they felt most successful at.

[Kim]

My parents gave me a lot of room and just let me be. I was very shy until about 16 and they never pushed me into anything, really. They always trusted me to grow out of funks (tantrums for example) and I did. As I child, I mostly read and played outside. I did well in school because I was eager to please, but even when some of my grades slipped, my parents were not overly concerned. They realized that I tend to be very good at some things and bad in others (my math teacher told them that I could do it if I wanted to, but didn't want to and they did have a talk with me, but nothing too serious) and trusted that I always did what was necessary (although they did get me tutors, but it was all very laid-back).

They also always trusted my judgment. From 15 onwards, I would hang out in this youth center/cafe type place which had a reputation of being a drug haven (it wasn't). People told my parents that they couldn't possibly allow that. They responded that they trust me and when I tell them it's fine, it's fine (and that they liked that they knew where I was and could easily contact me there as this was pre-cell phone). When I wanted to go abroad at 16, they had their reservations, but were fairly easily persuaded.

They also were supportive of my career goals.

I am not saying it was perfect, but I did benefit greatly from flexible parenting that was more about my needs than "what should be done." I have to add that my parents are delta and that my sister had a more difficult time (she is ESI).

Edited to add: When I came back from my year abroad, I had abysmal grades one year and almost had to repeat the grade (including in classes I was always good in, like languages). My parents were not happy, but they understood that I was in severe reverse culture shock and just needed time. It was fine after that one year.

[under the bridge]

Nothing but appreciation for all the feedback!

maybe make sure that you also provide how/why/timing details to your stories instead of just short answers and especially instead of just asking her to think of it all by herself.

interacting with her as a person is far more important than interacting with her as a type

Noted. Many good points in your posts. I agree with the italicized line in your post and encourage all to practice it.

She's a lucky kid to have such caring parents concerned with her psychological and future well-being.

Thank you, we really try; I do this because it's my wish that all parents kept these goals in the forefront of their mind. I know I'm an idealist but could you imagine a society where the majority practiced this?

I'm sure I could continue on for hours, but I'd rather have feedback from you to see if any of this made sense or seemed worthwhile.

An excellent response, many thanks. I thoroughly enjoyed your contribution and welcome anything further.

my top pieces of advice would be to keep an open mind, let your daughter be your daughter, and provide structure and consistency, and reasoning/logic for your rules.

Live your own advice. If they wanted me to do something, they always did it themselves.

Definitely strive to live by these standards.

...held me accountable for my commitments. Exposure to people of different ages...

I strongly recommend trying sports and music until your daughter finds one of each that she enjoys.

Seems these points could work well together to aid her growth.

I've never been a sports guy but I would at least try my hand at them when my friends would want to play(flag football and baseball were pretty fun and I really enjoy tennis). Like most kids she enjoys playing outside and a variety of activities. At the moment she is pretty good at keeping control of the ball in soccer and her love for bike rides increases the more she practices. I try to emphasize that if she wants to become good at something she can but it's dependent on the amount of practice she invests.

Our daughter definitely shares our love of music and art. I adore watching her draw and paint and we have a blast turning the living room into a dance floor. She has an assortment of child instruments such as recorders and maracas but she's been gravitating more and more to my keyboard and the many fun things she can do with it. She talks about wanting to play the trumpet and has already invited me to her concerts so we'll see if that ever comes to fruition.

...when removed from people, I wilt. Plain and simple. If I go under extended periods of time in isolation, it's as if my gas tank has emptied and I cannot make it to the gas station to refuel...

It's important for us to learn how to be alone

I have noticed that about her, especially during this last month in which we've been helping my father-in-law recover from a severe motorcycle accident. A multitude of new responsibilities have temporarily resulted in less time doing things we enjoy doing so I've been having to increase my efforts to ensure the little one is getting ample opportunity to socialize. Regarding your latter point I quoted, I agree that people in general are better off gaining this skill. I hope to help her find a healthy balance in these aspects.

I have to say that growing up like that did have quite a stifling effect on any free-spirit I may have. On the flip side, i dont know that I would have been as successful academically if not for that (maybe i would have been, i'll never know). But on the other hand, i look back and wonder, did I really NEED to be so successful.

A tremendous thank you for sharing, my heart goes out to you for what you've been through. I love the perspective you've gained from your experience and I also ponder the alternate ways my life could have turned out had my upbringing been different. Just to clarify, I measure success in terms of whether a person is living a happy life in the way they want to and are causing minimal harm to others so, while I plan on doing my best to equip my daughter with skills that will facilitate success, I may advise a path based on the strengths I see in her but I won't be forcing her to achieve specific goals in terms of education or profession. Not implying you were saying this about me but I have noticed many parents in our society pushing their children to reach "successful" goals without much regard for whether it will actually make them happy or not.

My parents gave me a lot of room and just let me be.

trusted that I always did what was necessary...my judgment

I am not saying it was perfect, but I did benefit greatly from flexible parenting that was more about my needs than "what should be done."

I see myself doing this to an extent, probably even more as she gets older. The instances my parents put a great amount of trust in me helped me build self-confidence so I try to recognize when I can do this for my daughter. Very happy you offered your experience growing up for my consideration.

[Beautiful sky]

@HandiAce

[applejacks]

She talks about wanting to play the trumpet and has already invited me to her concerts so we'll see if that ever comes to fruition.

This made me smile big time. You truly sound like an incredible Dad. She's a very lucky girl.

All the best to you, and let us know how else we can help. And keep us posted on her adventures!

[mikemex]

Thankfully interacting with my wife(SEE)

You're a LII married to a SEE? Something smells fishy here...

[HandiAce]

@HandiAce

I have been summoned!

What were things you feel that helped you to develop beneficial habits/skills?

As a child, it was getting involved in something that interested me and joining clubs or summer camps. Yes, summer camps were the best! It was like school, only I got to do things I WANTED to do. The best of both worlds. Priming my passion was most important and it helped for getting along with my teachers and other kids. Later in my life (like high school), I think an exercise routine was important for me. When I joined the track and cross country team, our coach was a rigorous trainer and that helped my own willpower and confidence. At the time, I also learned not to take people's jokes personally. My moods were also better.

What things do you wish your parents/mentors would have said and done differently in order to better reach you and help you grow?

Nothing. They were very supportive of me and cared lots about my success. Anything that could help me grow was and remains my own responsibility and only my own stubbornness prevents me from seizing certain opportunities.

Do you feel like you continue struggling with any problems you also dealt with as a youngster and, if so, what methods have you tried that failed to solve these?

I still struggle with priorities, managing time, motivation, inertia, and apathy. I think it's important to recognize when you are in a rut, discouraged or frustrated and rather than obsess over your thoughts and feelings (a tendency of mine), actively distinguish and recognize where they are coming from. The next step would be to make a mental pivot that allows yourself to think in a positive light regardless of the situation. Allow yourself to feel peace and joy. As long as I allow myself to have the right mindset, life does not have to be full of drudges uphill.

Are there any 'words of wisdom' you received or harsh events you experienced that proved pivotal in improving your outlook on life?

Most "harsh" events hurt my outlook on life. Better that they didn't happen.

No specific quotes or phrases have improved my outlook on life, but some visionary entrepreneurs have things to say that are inspiring. Inspiration has a dramatic effect on my outlook.

[under the bridge]

Thanks for your contribution, HandiAce. I apologize for the late reply; life keeps me very busy.

As a child, it was getting involved in something that interested me and joining clubs or summer camps... Priming my passion was most important and it helped for getting along with my teachers and other kids.

I was happy to read this because I was thinking about getting my daughter involved in Camp Quest when she gets old enough. I never had a chance to go to camps when I was little so I wasn't sure of the impact they could have.

Later in my life (like high school), I think an exercise routine was important for me. When I joined the track and cross country team, our coach was a rigorous trainer and that helped my own willpower and confidence.

Good to know, I will be encouraging her to value staying healthy and in shape. Hopefully she finds something interesting that helps her in the manner that track did for you.

I still struggle with priorities, managing time, motivation, inertia, and apathy. I think it's important to recognize when you are in a rut, discouraged or frustrated and rather than obsess over your thoughts and feelings (a tendency of mine), actively distinguish and recognize where they are coming from. The next step would be to make a mental pivot that allows yourself to think in a positive light regardless of the situation. Allow yourself to feel peace and joy...Inspiration has a dramatic effect on my outlook.

I try to do this for myself as well so it's reassuring to hear that she may be receptive to this method.

Overall a great post and I appreciate it. You seem like a cool individual and I sense we could have some productive discussions with each other.