Member Questionnaire 1 (ShophiaDeep)
What is beauty? What is love?
There is no such thing as general meaning of beauty. Beauty is anything, that your heart and senses are telling it is. You can find beauty in every little thing even though you can't see it at the first look, someties you have to look deeper, step aside and maybe look from a different angle to find what might be hidden under unpleasant surface. Love is the feeling of being actually alive, meaning, fulfillment, beauty, belonging and security. But also it brings a great fear of losing, pain and loneliness... I think that's why people are afriad of opening their heerts and falling in love. They afraid of the negative feelings it always bears with itself. But theese feelings are the necessary sacrifice.
What are your most important values?
Meaning, hope, freedom, truthfulness, friendship, beliefs, dreams, fulfillment, discovering and developing.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I do not have any concrete spiritual belief. I like to read about different types of philosophies and beliefs, but in each one I find something, that is against my healthy mind. I like when things make logical sense, and a lot of religions deny this sense. But I am only a human, I need something to believe in, so I take something from every phylosophy, or religion I know, somehow stick it together, add my own logical sense and beliefs into it and I somehow have my own way of spiritual phylosophy.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
The perfect example on how humans hypocrisy and the need for prosperity and power can get out of control. The wars are hear because people are blinded by their selfish reasons to take the power over other countries, that don't belong to them. Excuse my hippie way of thinking but the true progress of humanity is in its unity. Power is the ability to rule and manipulate with others. The true leader rules, the weak one manipulates. Anyway I don't think power is necessary. I guess our lives would be much better without people, which rule our actions. I believe it's the worst thing to deny someone's right to free thinking and acting. Of Course, under the condition, that anyone else is not hurt.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I really love to talk about the meaning of things in our lives. I like to talk about all the possibilities of viewing things around. I a bit have a mind of a philospher, sometimes to the point I can't sleep from all of the thoughts flowing around my head. But I also love to talk about music, art and hobbies. I basicly can talk about anyting, that someone wants to and make him/her feel comfortable.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I am not much interested in my body. I guess sometimes I am not very nice to it, but I am interested in alternative medicines and ways of healing. Lately I started to care more about my body and try to eat healthy and not much chemicaly modified food. But still I am more interested in how thin my figure is, than my actaul health. I smoke, drink and I am pretty lazy for an excercise. The only reason why I excercise from to time is to stay thin.
What do you think of daily chores?
I hate them and avoid them as much as I can. I am a student and I still live with my mother, so she does alot of work. I help sometimes, but basically my room is one big chaos and I don't care much. I am a girl and actually my room looks worse, than most of boy's rooms. I just don't notice the chaos around me, usually I have better things to do, or think about.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I love watching dramas, real life stories, philosophy movies, psychological movies, thrillers and horrors. Sometimes I can watch, or read a good fantasy. The best movies in opinion are: Pink Floyd: The Wall (the way Roger Waters views the world is basicly the same as mine, I guess we are some close types), The Doors (I fell in love with The Doors and Jim Morrison right after I saw it. He was one amazing psycho freak), Dorian Grey, Prozac Nation, Sleepy Hollow, From Hell, Finding the Neverland, Kurt Cobain: About a Son, SoundCity, Pearl Jam 20....
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I think the last I cried was when I saw some emotional movie scene... It's lame I know, but I cry when in the movies someone has a great speech... So I guess it was something like that xD .
The last I smiled, was when my boyfriend started with his crazy humor.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I guess it's anywhere, where my close friends are and sometimes at home.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
irresponsible, lazy, careless, nervous
I dislike pretty much the same things + moodiness, acting without thinking, depressive way of thinking, over emotionality on criticism, depending on others, caring too much what others think, confusion and unstability.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Talkative, sociable, realistic, intelligent, artistic
I like pretty much the same things...
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I would like to learn how to be more self aware and decisive. Sometimes I doubt myself too much, I analyze and doubt everything too much. I would like to know how to believe in myself and just do things, don't overanalyze them, or regret them, when they are already done.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I felt pretty nervous, everything was annoying, and I felt the pressure. I started to yell and had an aggressive reactions. I started to feel emotional chaos. I gave up and said I am not made for this kind of situations.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I like open minded, nice and honest people. The types, that don't fake anything are spontaneous and open to every topic. I like people who see the world with a bit different eyes, view things their own way.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I am not much of a relationship type. I don't like feeling tied up to one concrete person, even though I have a boyfriend for an year, but I doubt the valuse of relationships in general. Friendship and sex are great, they can give you something, help you to develope and learn. I am not saying. that the relationship can't give you this, but anyway you're stuck with one person, I just don't like the feeling of being stucked. Maybe I just have to grow up, I don't know.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I would want him to accomplish something in his/her life. I would tell him how special he is, how can he accomplish anything he wants and his whole life is in his own heands. I would lead him to believe in himself and his abilities and help him to develope them
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Inward: I would try to understand why he thinks that way. What is the source of his belief and how can he prove he is right.
Outward: Pretty emotional. I would start to argue and want some proof he's right. I would try to proove my truth too with some knowledge, or use the interent and show him I am right.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I don't much like the general society. I guess medias are too influential, are people are too bored to change the chanel, so a lot of them become mindless followers of their Tv hereos without any critical overlook at life. I like not to be the part of the bigest crowed, but rather choose some smaller group, where I feel comfortable and which share my opinions. Society is not bad, but maybe it's not led the right way. I just...don't wanna be a part of it. I can pretend I fit in, but only because I need to survive.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I usually look for soul mates, people who think the way that I do, like the similar things... Around my friends I am very open, talkative, childish, laugh on anything, loud, and spontaneous.
How do you behave around strangers?
Around strangers I can be very shy, quiet. Usually I don't like to start the conversation.