What the fuck, hair?

[Scapegrace]

I never foresaw myself posting here. haha

I shaved my hair a few months ago. It stopped falling out. Okay. Fine. I'll grow it back. I want to grow it back. I think. Well, it's growing back and it's a fucking monstrosity. I don't generally care about my appearance. And I mean I don't care about it at all. I wake up. I throw some clothes on. I brush my teeth. Ta-da. Done.

Well, the hair makes me look like a fucking alcoholic or something. When I have long hair it's sort of... medium to loose curly. Think Botticelli. Evidently that's just enough to make me look like a homeless weirdo and not enough to make me look like Justin Timberlake in 1998.

Okay. I'm asking for beauty advice here. How do I tame these mother fuckers? I've tried plastering it down with water and they just pop right back up like awkward Mormon teenaged wood. I've attempted to sooth it into submission with conditioner and a fancy avocado concoction. I have pretty delicate hair that is just getting over whatever the hell made it all fall out. I'm not keen on straighteners or chemicals or anything that requires more than 10 minutes of my time.





This is the worst part. Brace yourself.




Yeah. I'm seriously considering shaving it off again.

[Raver]

Your hair looks similar to mine. When I wanted to grow it long, it took an entire year of growing it out from being shaved until it looked decent. It looks like your hair is going through the awkward phase of growing out. I couldn't figure out how to tame it either and mostly wore a hat until the phase passed. Then I just put it behind my ears and slicked it back with some hair product. That's why I keep it short now and I won't bother to grow it out again because of the awkward phase.

[Scapegrace]

Oh. Duh. A hat is a decent idea. We have a rather extensive collection of vintage fedoras, but they make me feel like a hipster douche-bag.

[InvisibleHim]

brush it down rather than up.
/useless

[Radio]

look on the bright side, you can now cosplay as all of the male final fantasy characters, plus non-verbally announce yourself as a lesbian everywhere you go.

[Scapegrace]

look on the bright side, you can now cosplay as all of the male final fantasy characters, plus non-verbally announce yourself as a lesbian everywhere you go.

I was actually hoping that men would think I'm a lesbian and leave me alone, but since I cut it I've received more unwanted groping. Maybe they like the idea of seducing a lesbian. I'm sorry, but attempting to remove my underwear on a side street is just going to get you punched.

[Narc]

Grow a beard.

[Beautiful sky]

don't wash your hair often and if you really like to, use a conditioner in the shower only and air dry.

[mu4]

I like your hair, it's got that tussled I just got out of bed look...

[betterthan]

I was actually hoping that men would think I'm a lesbian and leave me alone, but since I cut it I've received more unwanted groping. Maybe they like the idea of seducing a lesbian. I'm sorry, but attempting to remove my underwear on a side street is just going to get you punched.

WOW, what the actual fuck. Don't have this problem (where the fuck do you live lol?!), but when people are in my way when I'm walking down the street/or start doing anything questionable, I tend to bolster up/assume a really confident body language and they move out my way/don't cross me within a split second. Project that you own it when you have to and people won't fuck. HOPEFULLY. But jesus christ do you sound like you're dealing with animals, must be horrible .

In terms of your hair I suggest checking out make up alley boards, they know the answer to any beauty problem that maybe stressing you out. http://www.makeupalley.com/

[Absurd]

She's dealing with rapists and use a straightener. Not the fancy ones though - they're not really worth their price.

[silke]

after seeing the first pic my immediate thought was that an Afro would look good on ya

[Scapegrace]

It's a bit of a long shot to buy more products but I'll recommend a few anyway. What shampoos/conditioners do you use?

What I would do is clarify your hair and see if that helps. "Clarifying" is a bit of a hyped word but the idea is that you strip the cuticle of the buildup of your various products and make a clean slate. You might not have much buildup, I don't know your hair - but if you're using different shampoos and conditioners you might actually have different layers of silicones on it. And oils. And waxes. All cause buildup. The idea is that when you're trying to add moisture to your hair the barrier these products create (to keep in moisture) actually keep out to a certain extent the moisture that you're trying to add. You want whatever deep treatment to really get as close to the cuticle as possible (I think the molecules will adhere to the cuticle depending on how porous your hair is. Don't quote me.) So you strip this layer from your hair and then you have a clean slate to come back and add a hopefully more consistent layer - diff brands of conditioner might not play nice together, oil and silicones might not play nice together depending on the product. Some people love silicones because they add slip and shine and moisture - don't hate on them for being "synthetic" unless they don't work for you - but they can tend to feel "product-y" and film-y. Personally I like my hair better silicone free - moisture and oil seems to get through to it better. To clarify, "Suave Naturals Clarifying Shampoo" is the best imo and its as cheap as a dollar depending on where you get it. Also, do you have hard or soft water? Hard water can def make hair more brittle and poofy, so you can get a water softener - Culligan makes a great one that I've bought on Amazon for about $30. If you're not interested in that much investment I think the clarifying shampoo will help with a hard water issue.

So use that and THEN go in with your moisturizing avocado treatment and moisturize the fuck out of your hair. The idea is that it no longer has any layer to defend itself and it will be completely vulnerable to you punching it in the cuticle with your treatment of choice. Look at the ingredient list. Anything that ends with a "cone" is a silicone. I like Nexxus Humectress as an effective deep conditioner though its rather expensive and does combine both oils and silicones. But what is my absolute favorite is Biolage Conditioning Balm and though its a bit spendy its totally worth it and will last a while. It smells amazing and kind of "green" rather than perfume-y but what's amazing about it is that it doesn't contain silicones. So you can add whatever moisturizing kick you want to it - honey, oil, avocado - and its perfect. You can get knockoff brands of both these products in discounted bulk at Sally's (not sure if you have those where you live though.) I would be happy to mail you my bottle of the Humectress if you're not weirded out by getting used conditioner.

There is another homemade clarifying treatment that I used to use on my hair when we had hard water. You use the product "Fruit Fresh" - the stuff that you sprinkle on fruit to stop it browning - the citric acid in that is the effective clarifying ingredient - that's also the ingredient in the Suave Clarifying. You get a cheap, cone free conditioner - say something light, V05 Tea Therapy (its a dollar or so) - or any of the V05 line as long as you check the ingredients list and it doesn't have cones listed. Mix a cup of that with a teaspoon of the Fruit Fresh - just a teaspoon - put it in something so you can shake it really well - and it will kind of foam up all over and get this aerated texture. Apply this on your hair and work it in like shampoo and let it sit for 3-5 minutes. It will smell slightly metallic and afterwards when you rinse it out your hair will be SO SOFT. Your hair will be your bitch. I wouldn't recommend using this constantly as citric acid can lighten hair over time but with a treatment once in a while to remove buildup it won't affect the color. This is obviously more for if you're interested in the homemade razzle dazzle and not so much to save time - although the process is actually not so time consuming once you've got it down.

Woah. That was incredibly informative.


I tend to have pretty dry hair, so I just use diluted kids/baby shampoo. Usually for conditioner I just use something natural like avocados and olive oil. I did the no shampoo thing for a long time and I liked it, but I like washing my hair. haha. I doubt I have *much* nasty build up in my hair because I don't use *any* hair products. I think the water is most defiantly part of my issue. Sadly, I don't think I can do anything about it because its scarcity and method of delivery/strange is complicated.

I'm totally going to look into the fruit fresh thing because I know I can get that here.

Yay! Thank you. I will make my hair my bitch. My hair is my bitch. My hair is my bitch. My hair is my bitch.

[Scapegrace]

WOW, what the actual fuck. Don't have this problem (where the fuck do you live lol?!), but when people are in my way when I'm walking down the street/or start doing anything questionable, I tend to bolster up/assume a really confident body language and they move out my way/don't cross me within a split second. Project that you own it when you have to and people won't fuck. HOPEFULLY. But jesus christ do you sound like you're dealing with animals, must be horrible .

In terms of your hair I suggest checking out make up alley boards, they know the answer to any beauty problem that maybe stressing you out. http://www.makeupalley.com/

From what I can tell a lot of Mexican men just think that white girls are sluts who wont mind if you grab tit and run away. I throw shit at them though. The last guy got hit in the head with a can of chiles en adobo. Fuck with me and I will kick your ass. These people don't intimidate me. I'm bigger than them and I have no qualms about kicking their asses.

Also: just to clarify "beauty problems" do not stress me out. I just want my hair to stop sticking up like Alfalfa.

[Scapegrace]

after seeing the first pic my immediate thought was that an Afro would look good on ya

I'm headed that way. I've got the mini Jewfro going on. Gonna look like Bob Dylan soon.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I was actually hoping that men would think I'm a lesbian and leave me alone

Haha. Nah. You're not ugly enough to be one of those butch dykes that scares straight men because they have the same physical strength stat as them. That would sadly only make them try harder to have sex with u cuz they love the idea of turning some faux-lesbian into their sex monkey. (For heterosexual porn ness)

[chriscorey]

I honestly can't see anything wrong with your hair. In fact you look very lovely.

[davez]

Go Sinéad-O'Connor mode, shortcut for victory.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

dafuq scapegrace.u look awesum. anyway, here's what i think since u don't feel good about it : find some easy,natural hair gel recipies to make it stay in place and look like one of those really short hipster bangs ooor create a vampy persona with a statement pixie cut and lotsa dramatic eye make up zomg

[blackburry]

Part your hair off to the side rather than let it stand up. Keep it to the side with a bit of hair gel.

it might not be long enough yet, but do this:



it'd look pretty hot on you.

and when it grows out more, this:

[Iris]

Cloche hat! I think they look best on people with very short hair.Cloche-Hat-blue-cloche-img-6.jpgCloche navy.jpgredgathered1.jpgaudrey-sabrina-close-up-white-hat-and-hoop-earrings.jpg

[Iris]

Also: just to clarify "beauty problems" do not stress me out. I just want my hair to stop sticking up like Alfalfa.

Embrace the cowlick.HalleBerry.EthanMiller.jpgnatalie-portman-boyish-short-haircut.jpgjeanld1bg.jpg

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

[Suz]

fwiw, i love your hair! it suits you!

on the other hand, if you feel like your hair is really dry or something, that's different. But i think it looks really chic..

[Suz]

It's a bit of a long shot to buy more products but I'll recommend a few anyway. What shampoos/conditioners do you use?

What I would do is clarify your hair and see if that helps. "Clarifying" is a bit of a hyped word but the idea is that you strip the cuticle of the buildup of your various products and make a clean slate. You might not have much buildup, I don't know your hair - but if you're using different shampoos and conditioners you might actually have different layers of silicones on it. And oils. And waxes. All cause buildup. The idea is that when you're trying to add moisture to your hair the barrier these products create (to keep in moisture) actually keep out to a certain extent the moisture that you're trying to add. You want whatever deep treatment to really get as close to the cuticle as possible (I think the molecules will adhere to the cuticle depending on how porous your hair is. Don't quote me.) So you strip this layer from your hair and then you have a clean slate to come back and add a hopefully more consistent layer - diff brands of conditioner might not play nice together, oil and silicones might not play nice together depending on the product. Some people love silicones because they add slip and shine and moisture - don't hate on them for being "synthetic" unless they don't work for you - but they can tend to feel "product-y" and film-y. Personally I like my hair better silicone free - moisture and oil seems to get through to it better. To clarify, "Suave Naturals Clarifying Shampoo" is the best imo and its as cheap as a dollar depending on where you get it. Also, do you have hard or soft water? Hard water can def make hair more brittle and poofy, so you can get a water softener - Culligan makes a great one that I've bought on Amazon for about $30. If you're not interested in that much investment I think the clarifying shampoo will help with a hard water issue.

So use that and THEN go in with your moisturizing avocado treatment and moisturize the fuck out of your hair. The idea is that it no longer has any layer to defend itself and it will be completely vulnerable to you punching it in the cuticle with your treatment of choice. Look at the ingredient list. Anything that ends with a "cone" is a silicone. I like Nexxus Humectress as an effective deep conditioner though its rather expensive and does combine both oils and silicones. But what is my absolute favorite is Biolage Conditioning Balm and though its a bit spendy its totally worth it and will last a while. It smells amazing and kind of "green" rather than perfume-y but what's amazing about it is that it doesn't contain silicones. So you can add whatever moisturizing kick you want to it - honey, oil, avocado - and its perfect. You can get knockoff brands of both these products in discounted bulk at Sally's (not sure if you have those where you live though.) I would be happy to mail you my bottle of the Humectress if you're not weirded out by getting used conditioner.

There is another homemade clarifying treatment that I used to use on my hair when we had hard water. You use the product "Fruit Fresh" - the stuff that you sprinkle on fruit to stop it browning - the citric acid in that is the effective clarifying ingredient - that's also the ingredient in the Suave Clarifying. You get a cheap, cone free conditioner - say something light, V05 Tea Therapy (its a dollar or so) - or any of the V05 line as long as you check the ingredients list and it doesn't have cones listed. Mix a cup of that with a teaspoon of the Fruit Fresh - just a teaspoon - put it in something so you can shake it really well - and it will kind of foam up all over and get this aerated texture. Apply this on your hair and work it in like shampoo and let it sit for 3-5 minutes. It will smell slightly metallic and afterwards when you rinse it out your hair will be SO SOFT. Your hair will be your bitch. I wouldn't recommend using this constantly as citric acid can lighten hair over time but with a treatment once in a while to remove buildup it won't affect the color. This is obviously more for if you're interested in the homemade razzle dazzle and not so much to save time - although the process is actually not so time consuming once you've got it down.

Dolphin this is awesome advice! I think you just figured out my ongoing skin/hair problems... HARD WATER!

I just ordered a culligan shower head on amazon ($24)... can't wait!

[Suz]

p.s. just looked up Fruit Fresh. It says it's a new formula.

these are the ingredients: Dextrose, ascorbic acid, citric acid, and silicon dioxide

Is that the same one as the Fruit Fresh you use @dolphin?

[Suz]

I'm looking forward to trying it!

[Galen]

Dye your hair the same color as your skin so it'll just look like you have a superbrain barely contained within a giant noggin.

[bolong]

Your face is pretty enough to pull it off the way it naturally is. If it really bothers you, I liked blackburry's suggestions but those will probably take time.

[glam]

Part your hair off to the side rather than let it stand up. Keep it to the side with a bit of hair gel.

it might not be long enough yet, but do this:

http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/ln/...re_3456917.jpg

it'd look pretty hot on you.

and when it grows out more, this:

http://www.howtohairgirl.com/wp-cont...013/02/fox.jpg

i've been watching House of Cards; i think Robin Wright looks incredibly attractive with her short hair.

she played Buttercup in The Princess Bride - didn't recognize her (:

[blackburry]

i've been watching House of Cards; i think Robin Wright looks incredibly attractive with her short hair.

Yeah, Same .

[mu4]

So Glam introduced me to Robin Wright on House of Cards and her short hair is powerful... not my taste but she is fierce.