I am new to socionics and I am looking for some help to find out my type, because I am mostly curious to find out what type of person would be my dual and activator.
I think I am ILI, but not sure yet, could be LII or another type. I will tell you about me, at least about the most notable things.
I am the kind of person that thinks a lot, analyzing, before making a decision. I am not spontaneous at all and if I try, i'll be clumsy and do mistakes.
I think in a very logical way with a lot of conditions. Often I get lost when the system is too complex and too many conditions. For example, it is much easier to wash the dishes than cooking (cooking is full of different parameters, task synchronization, etc. I hate it).
I tend to see first the negative conditions than the positive ones, so that makes me more of a pessimist than an optimist. I first think: is this project viable/feasible? I am more a negative person than positive.
I can't do several things at once, I'm more of a mono-task and concentrate on a single task at once to perform it as good as possible, and I have to forget all of the others. I think I am a perfectionist in what I do, and might be even obsessional.
I have a gift that I can very easily see consequences, through my intuition, feelings. For example, I am a programmer, if I update a line of code, my intuition will tell me if it is going to break some other part of code easily. That is because I always keep a global view on the system. And if I need to update a program that I didn't touch for several month, I will first have to study it again to acquire that global view again, before updating it.
I like to classify things (I guess that's why I got interested in socionics).
When I have an idea I will be very confident and it will be very very hard to change it, because I back up ideas with facts and documentation, so I think I am seldom wrong. So if people have an opposite idea I tend to think that their doesn't make sense.
I enjoy teaching. I like to help people understand things. Beside my freelance job as developer, I give private tuition in computer science mostly for fun. (even though I don't communicate well, see below. It is more of a challenge I have set to myself)
I like to (need to) understand how things work at the very very base, beginning. In general I think I am more concrete than abstract. I am better at making user interfaces than designing a program, although I enjoy it.
You might have guessed now that I am more into science than literature. It is by the way very hard for me to write a text, even though I am trying hard to improve these skills. When I have to write a text, there are a lot of bullet points, instead of fluid sentences.
I see opportunities and possibilities very easily, I can easily generate a lot of ideas, a lot of projects.
The most important thing in life is my freedom. I am a freelance and it is impossible for me to work under authority for someone.
I can easily travel somewhere with a bag. I can adapt myself very easily.
I don't like hand-on tasks (repairing something) and I suck at it.
Contact/Communication with people is difficult.
I HATE to disappoint people and I am often afraid of people's reactions. It happens quite often that I stop contacting someone, leaving my phone off for some weeks, just because some person is putting pressure on me, or that I think that the relation is too complicated.
It is extremely hard to say no, i'll do things that I don't want to do just because I can't say no.
When I want to express something, I have many ideas coming at the same time, that the result is that I stay silent, or that I will express myself in a mostly clumsy way with many emotions that I'll try to control as good as possible.
I am talking a lot of my problems, and often I am only listening half to other's people problems. This, i think, makes me quite selfish. Even if a person is not close to me, I can talk him about all of my personals problems and it's hard for me to know where is the limit.
Can't talk to a group of people. I prefer to meet just with one person I know well and spend time with him/her. I prefer close friends than acquaintances.
I'm constantly worried about what people think about myself. By the way I smile too much (for nothing), probably because I try to give a good impression. You know like a constant shy smile and laughing. I try to correct that.
When I would need to explain something, I go straight to the point, usually not very talkative.
I have a very black humor, the most romantic people don't understand my humor I think
When I do something, I am always aiming perfection (and mostly I fail). I keep identifying myself and my performances to others. I keep comparing, better/worse. I tend to find weaknesses in others, for me to feel more confident.
I am very accurate with things, I almost never break or lose anything.
When someone sees me, he sees someone calm, very polite, smiley.
I'm very lazy. To go out, I need to be pushed or I need to push myself.
I walk slowly looking around. When I walk alone in some inspiring environment (e.g. at night), I have thousands of ideas coming in my mind. I need to write down these ideas so that I can forget them for a while, if not I'll have an headache remembering them.
I'm more of an opportunist than someone who follows ethics/moral. As long as some situation is a win-win situation, the rest doesn't matter much for me. I would never do something bad someone, e.g. stealing something or just not being honest. For me, my consciousness is very important. Karma strikes easily back on me.
I can't count my money (or don't want to), I can spend it very easily. I don't like long investments, I don't like to think about my financial situation in 10 years, I prefer the short term. Although I am never living in the present, I am mostly living in the past and (near) future. For example, as said above, I like my freelance activity, I wouldn't enjoy working for some company aiming for a career, it takes like 10+ years, or for example I am not buying an apartment, because I have no idea where I will live in the next 1 or 2 years. I love freedom. So much that it is hard to imagine myself with a family and kids in the future. I love nature and I am into ecology. I'm not interested in monuments, museums, but I see myself more into a botanical garden studying different plants.
I have a lot of ideas about life and "how to make this place a better world", kind of philosopher at some time
I can't have a long relationship with girls, 2 months is my maximum (and I am approaching my 30s). Maybe I have been looking for the wrong person for all this time.
Overall with love, and with work, I am not stable.
My room is a real mess. But I feel good when it's clean, which is very rare. I am not shaving, don't cut my nails, and don't do haircut until I look completely inappropriate. Total negligence of myself. I will do it, tomorrow, tomorrow, ... I need to get beaten I don't like to be well dressed because I don't like to put myself into value and consider I am not worth it. I hate putting suits/tie and such. I am not materialistic, I could sleep on a bench, I don't need the best car, as long as it fulfills it purpose, driving me from point A to point B it's enough however I feel very materialistic when it come to women, the appearance comes at the first place for me. Contradictory?
I am an atheist and I have an extremely difficult time understanding people that are religious, or believe in any kind of magic or whatsoever.
What will make things a little bit difficult is that I am unfortunately a quite depressive person struggling with my personality, and according to this article http://www.benziger.org/articles/falsoftype.php it might be because I chose/use a function instead of another that is not me (I had a difficult past: since childhood I have been isolated from other people. I have been living and studying in a region that is not my language, which had disastrous consequences for my personality).
Maybe beside that point, what type do you think I am? What would be my dual/activator?
If you are willing to help, don't hesitate to ask me questions