Member Questionnaire 1 (StVual)What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is simply what one finds to explicate an emotional response on someone. I don't think it's a specific thing, insomuch as it is an abstract concept towards something that is in it's nature artistic. Personally speaking, I would find acts of compassion to be beautiful. Nature and the intelligence of animals are also something that makes me teary eyed, particularly apes, dolphins and other things. I find femininity to have aspects of beauty that masculinity doesn't really possess in a way. The gentleness associated with it is something that I adore in feminine beauty, and gentleness is something that I always like. I also like people who have experienced, and caused troubles to have reformed and redeemed themselves to beautiful as well. I think there are a great deal of things that I find to be beautiful, though I don't really want to list them all.What are your most important values?
Love is something that binds people together, and to forgive trespasses that strangers and people who haven't been well acquainted to not be so forgiving. I don't consider passion to be a form of love, as there is nothing really loving in passion in all honesty. Granted passion can always be an element of love, but I consider passion to just be a desire to mate and to form bonds in more immediate and physical way. Really it is something that is subjective really. I consider that the form of love that is well known to be utterly toxic form of love. Love is turned into a chore, and something that is built. Not something that just happens naturally, or within ones heart. The beauty of love is it's longevity, no matter how short or long it had lasted. It's something that is always a positive. Even if it brings negative consequences.
Outside of the abstract concepts of compassion, strength, gentleness, and innocence. I would say that my very own important value is truth. The ability to say what one feels, and desires without being barraged with unnecessary and unwarranted criticism. To see the ugliness inside of ourselves and to understand it, instead of labeling those desires as evil, debased and immoral. Even if I falter and scrutinize things that I do not wish. I still consider this definition of truth to be important, as it let's us explore each other in ways that does not conform to expected measures of decency, correctness and other such things. As all these do is simply guide ourselves towards a standard that is quite efficient, but there is still a need of both intro and outrospection.Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I hold weak pagan beliefs with a strong dislike towards abhramic religions. Outside of that, I don't consider religious ideology to be very important.Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I consider war to be an important part of humanity. A great deal of technological advances has been made in the name of war. Granted I have to admit to having a part of myself that views modern war as having lost the spirit of what it truly means to annihilate another person. I still think that wars are a good tool to use if it's in the name of necessity. Granted I do believe that wars are quite well...bad as far as individual experiences go, and I certainly wouldn't want to go out in the front lines out of my own selfish needs of not wanting to be killed despite seeing life as dreary. I still think that there should be wars, and I don't think that ending wars would ever be possible or even a good thing in itself. Though as far as America is concerned, I think that the wars they wage are unjust, and waging wars for the sake of monetary gain to be fucking stupid. I wish for the American military to be crushed, and I want us to realize that we can't simply live so imperialistically anymore. Even if it costs us our own dominance, we shouldn't strive to be an military super power. Just enough so that we don't have to focus on defense.What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I consider power a visceral feeling whenever you hold dominance over another person. Control of both the emotional, physical and intellectual realms. To have one's word be taken seriously, to be able to an affect on the surroundings around you. No matter how wide "around you" truly means. . I personally don't seek power, but I certainly welcome it. I do have fantasies of controlling others both sexually and socially admittedly. Why not? It's kinky.
I don't know. I haven't conversed with someone about anything outside of video game tactics and my own writings and type.Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I have a fair few interests. I am currently writing things that just plop up into my mind. I like to play video games, because I always like to use their mechanics to stimulate my imagination land. I am also into popular politics and science, though I don't have the discipline to fully commit to any one doctrine.
I admit to have some desire of health, but it's mostly an immediate thing that I realize after I notice that the food I was eating was actually bad for me. I don't have much focus on my own body.What do you think of daily chores?
You gotta do what you gotta do.Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I personally liked the Devilman and Violence Jack OVAs. They are quite brutal, and I always enjoy dark and violent media. That and I have some sort of odd like for moe shows such as Strike Witches and potentially Girls und Panzer. I have only watched an episode of that show, and I like to imagine that they live in a Matriarchal dictatorship, where the women brutalize men. If only because I'm both a misogynist (why won't women have sex with me!!!) and a misandrist. (men suck!)What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I don't read too many books, but I liked Animal Farm at least. That was quite a thrill, and I always like the ending towards it. So ironic. I am such a plebian. Hahaaha.
When I have inflicted harm onto another person, and when I have seen something awe inspiring. Such as when I have struck another person out of anger. It seems like it's' not the act of hitting the person what was made me cry, but it was in fact the reactions of both the pain I had inflicted onto someone else, and the disapproval of my peers that drove me to tears.Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I smile when I find something amusing mostly. A funny joke, or a tune that is just pleasing to the ears. Is what makes me smile. I guess it's because in a scientific study I have found. Jokes are what breaks the tension whenever there is a potential for danger. It allows us to know that things are perfectly alright in the world.
I have a sense of belonging whenever I am taken seriously, and people pay attention to my own words. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I don't know how one is with an environment though. That is kind of weird.
I consider how I release my emotions in the most as backwards way possible. How I can be quite an asshole towards others whenever I am a cranky mood, and how cruel I can be in general. Others have considered my moodiness to be a weak spot, as well as my inconsideration of the fact that I hold more power than I realize physically and emotionally. I also think that I am quite boring, and that I haven't really experienced much of anything in this world. It's honestly hurtful seeing other people talk about the things they do in their life. Such as how many video games they have played, and how it takes me forever to beat a 20 hour game because I always split my attention to 5 different things at once.What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I consider my nature as someone who is quite good at judging others accurately to be a good sign of my strengths. I am typically a reasonable person, and I can be quite compassionate whenever I feel like it. Others have found these strengths inside of me as well, and they typically say that I am quite intelligent and creative. I like to think that I am those things, but sometimes I'm not entirely sure.In what areas of your life would you like help?
Quite a lot. Not sure where to begin.Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes. I am stuck in a rut right now, though at least I am typing and writing a lot at this very moment. It's quite thrilling to just word vomit and post it's unbridled nature to the rest of the world. In all of it's purity.What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I hate people who are mean spirited towards other people without a good justification as well as those who are I disagree with. Those are the kind of people who I find that I have the most animosity towards. Those who I wished nothing but ill will towards. I am them gone, and I want them to have harm inflicted onto them. Even including rape if it's necessary. I am just an asshole towards those who are assholes towards me.How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I don't think I have strong personal feelings towards many people. However I consider engaging, fun, and sweet natured people to be quite fun to talk to.
I don't know man. I'm romantically retarded. I just don't want someone who hates me behind my back, and cheats on me with other people without telling me that they are going to have sex with other people. I don't have too many issues with them having sex with others, but I would still not want to be romantically involved with someone who just thinks of me as a cash bank and someone who is actually boring to talk to and such. I just want to be loved.If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I would consider that my child is raised by a multitude of people, in which it will absorb the cultural values of multiple people. I read in an article on the internet that said that children used to be raised by communities instead of families used to be the norm. Granted I usually have issues with the past, however I sympathized with this ideology. To have a truly trusting society, it should make sense that we raise the kids of our nation instead of having a pair of parents who's quality is usually questionable raising the young.A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I just tell them what I believe usually. Unless circumstances and my surroundings make it hard for me to express my opinions in a way that is constructive and actually taken seriously, I will just be blunt as possible.Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I consider myself as someone who is removed from society. More like an onlooker than someone who actively participates in it. Even small communities I feel as if I don't have much of an affect on.How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I consider neoliberalism and rich people to be a problem. Considering that I have convereted towards Pinko sympathizing. I have found that my hatred of the rich cannot be succeeded with libertarianism. Only with wealth distribution will we be able to annihilate class structures in society.
I don't choose friends. The friends choose me really, considering that I don't really come up towards people. I am far too shy for that.How do you behave around strangers?
Same as I do with anyone else. Mostly based on what my mood is.
Edit: Retaking the test to see how far I've grown or not. Sort of like a diary that people can read.