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Thread: "Warmth"

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    Default "Warmth"

    What does "warmth", in the interpersonal sense, mean to you? In a recent thread, I think it was silently concluded that the perception of warmth is the result of intertypes. Whether or not this is true, I think it's interesting what people on this forum consider "warm" or "cold", or even if they make such judgements at all.

    Thoughts?

    scribbles in the dark

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    I often find people who other people consider distant or cold to be quite warm. I can often find what other people consider to be warm, bubbly people to be superficial and cold.

    Perhaps my definition of warm is different or even incorrect?

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    when i think of somebody who is warm i think of a neutrally positive demeanor (like smiling with the eyes) and a nonjudgmental attitude. the kind of person you can vent your problems to without feeling like you're burdening them and without them getting too enmeshed but you still feel like they give a shit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Grain of a Song of Sand View Post
    What does "warmth", in the interpersonal sense, mean to you?
    The opposite of an SLI.

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    It's just intimacy on a base root physical level. You feel that people like dolphin want to get more intimate than people like absurd on a root instinctual level.

    After all, sliding your dick in something warm is innately more pleasurable than sliding it into something cold (iceberg fetishes aside). And that connection with others produces warmth. That example is very extreme and campy but even when talking about something subtle the base example is the same. You can go into it. Another analogy: warm butter is way easier to cut then cold butter. I suppose that's also a warning to not make yourself too soft so just anybody can cut into you, but then again getting fucked feels really good. I'd rather be soft, warm and fuckable then hard and cold and non-fuckable.

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    "Warmth" to me has to do with how well they mirror the emotional contours and tempo in conversation. There are some people who it literally feels like they're encased behind a layer of ice, and it takes them forever to show any reaction or response to what I'm saying, if at all; like they're in a different world. It's like talking into the "night wind, filled with infinity" (thank you Rilke). These are "cold" to me. Warm people mirror back my energy in a way that is timely and in tune with what I'm saying in terms of facial expression, gestures, or actual words. It doesn't even have to be positive. There can be warm jerks. So long as I feel like they're actually hearing what I'm saying and working with the energy I put out, rather than having it bounce right off of them. And it doesn't have to be dramatically expressive. There are quiet, blankfaced ways of mirroring energy, too.
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Physical affection, kind words of reassurance, delicate and soft touches, a hug, caress, running one's hand through someone you love's hair, kissing them on the cheek or touching them on the forehead, telling them that you're there for them if they need you, speaking with them in their safe spaces whether that's in a quiet room or softly somewhere on the couch or on a seat just the two of you. Also, it always helps when the person gives you clues as to what's going on and what's troubling them so that you can be prepared to meet them with your warmth, for me, I just assume more of the same thing that they were previously telling me is going on, who knows if something new has emerged without some sign?

    Warmth to me is the man who really loves you so much to come and sneak you off in the middle of the night to a drive somewhere just the two of you, where you explore nature until dawn. Oh, I would love that fantasy to come true.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 07-02-2013 at 06:14 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Grain of a Song of Sand View Post
    What does "warmth", in the interpersonal sense, mean to you? In a recent thread, I think it was silently concluded that the perception of warmth is the result of intertypes. Whether or not this is true, I think it's interesting what people on this forum consider "warm" or "cold", or even if they make such judgements at all.

    Thoughts?
    Warmth is sinking into a wonderful sea of acceptance.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    I've never really thought about defining "warmth", but so far I agree with
    *someone actually caring (lungs')
    *some kind of mirroring (Animal); this is one way of knowing they are paying attention and care enough to try to understand
    *a wonderful sea of acceptance (Iris); without which I'd likely clam up and feel uncomfy
    *genuine welcoming (me); helps me not feel like I am intruding; the person gives off the attitude kinda like I have a right to be there at that time, or almost any time; to me, welcoming combines the above three
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    I don’t know how to explain this other than how I express it personally and what I find comforting/warm.

    I plan and paint adventures tailored especially for the object I feel warm towards. If it liked green, I’d carefully weave clovers into every day. Its own personal spa w/acceptance/touch/intimacy all included. If you're someone I let into my life as a friend etc, then I show appreciation in similar ways to the above, only watered down and appropriate.

    Warmth to me is a special connection I can’t find anywhere else. The most important aspect being acceptance of me for whom I am. I have little to no interest in any action or behavior I could just write off as superficial in this area.

    I guess warmth from my perspective is unique to the individual. I wouldn't tie it to typology.I don't really think about "cold"
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    It's just intimacy
    I'd go with that. To me it's intimacy, kindness, gentleness, care giving and creating a comfort bubble where one can feel safe expressing every need or just being, unselfconsciously.
    I call myself batyote and I fight crime at night.

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    Gulenko said that the warm communication types were all 4d types, so he at least the communication style to the focus on building a strong sense of intimacy.

    This means IXFx. ISFp, ISFj, INFp, INFj

    The 4d types are the cold blooded types. IXTx types.

    I happen to think these are some good general observations.

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    Willlllllssssssooooooonnnnnn!






    Warmth is someone who cares about me and vice versa.
    Gentle prodding/teasing, affection, wanted advice/sharing of experiences, doing activities we both enjoy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Grain of a Song of Sand View Post
    What does "warmth", in the interpersonal sense, mean to you?
    Friendly towards me, welcoming, accepting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    It's just intimacy on a base root physical level. You feel that people like dolphin want to get more intimate than people like absurd on a root instinctual level.
    You're like Titanic, BnD.

    Anyway, to me warmth is two people, female and male (just to piss off BnD), who can count on each other.
    Last edited by Absurd; 07-02-2013 at 06:43 PM.

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    The first thing that comes to mind is someone that is attentive to you, inviting, and kind without being too pushy or invasive. Someone who is comforting, non-judging, sincere and genuine when they listen. They do not exclude, and take careful, yet quiet consideration when drawing outsiders into the group. For me, they have a calming and inviting effect. No waves, no drama, they're just happy to have you around, and want you to be yourself.
    And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30

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    I think warmth is just sincere interest, and is possibly connected to the mobilizing function.
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
    - John Piper


    Socionics -
    the16types.info

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    being warm is to help and share information
    unholy water sanguine addiction

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    Metabolism, the16types.info.

    Being warm is rubbing your hands together.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    I think I associate warmth pretty specifically with Fe. I was talking to my mom the other day and described a family friend as warm because she responded to a message I sent asking her for advice quickly, enthusiastically, and with lots of exclamation points. Warm people are fun, generous, speed up the tempo of a room, often eager to help and even to please. I have another very very close family friend who I love dearly who I wouldn't call warm or cold, despite that fact that she's friendly and helpful. I would never call her "eager to help," though. So maybe part of the difference for me is in that word eager. Excited, can't wait. A warm person is a little like a squirrel that's bigger than you and nice. A warm person cooks spaghetti for you and maybe hums while s/he does it. A warm person will often give you a loud greeting as you walking into a door. All of that is probably Fe. So, yes, I would venture to say that what we view as warm is type related. More generally, when there's an adjective that has the meaning Positive + X, what we consider to fit that adjective will normally correspond to or lean heavily towards our valued functions.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    The Quiet Individualist Waster's Avatar
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    Sincere, thoughtful and kind.

    I can't stand superficial kindness.

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    yay @silverchris9 is back

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    yay @silverchris9 is back
    Thanks! Hi!
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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