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Last edited by zbrobins; 12-15-2015 at 04:55 AM.
Romantic attraction - probably. Will he follow through? Hard to say. If you have mutual friends, then using those may be your best bet in scoping him out more.
@pht
I have become close with his sister (INTP). His grandmother, mother, other sister and brother-in-law quickly became fond of me. In fact I was asked to travel to Peru with the family next year. But, his sister did ask me about what I thought about marriage and age difference. Then she told me that she doesn't feel someone should be more than 5 years difference. So, I don't know if he mentioned something to her. But, she has no clue I have a crush on him. So, I'm wondering why she brought it up. I'm wondering if she can sense and is trying to make her voice known before something happens...if something happens.Originally Posted by squirreltual
I try to be supportive. ENTP likes to tell me what's going on in the next few weeks and he always asks for my support.
In dealing with him personally, what are some other clues I should look for with an ENTP and signs of attraction?Keep in mind that although he is an ENTP, he is a gentleman.
He is your semi-dual. That is a good pairing.
Socionics -
the16types.info
Why are semi-duals bad?
Socionics -
the16types.info
If he doesn't have time for you, he probably doesn't like you enough. at least not yet.
I'm interested in a relationship. I don't usually have friendships with guys because I can't read signals very well. So, I avoid them all together. The ENTP guy is a CAD Developer.
I didn't read most of it but I'm often interested to make ILI girls laugh. It's often hard but rewarding. I like how they often seem intellectual and cynical. It's really easy to understand what they mean although I have a lot more optimistic approach.
“I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden
I am in a semi-dual relationship, NeFi with SiFe.
This is by far the longest and best relationship I have ever been in.
In our case, the F creativeness of each of us helps with the relationship as well.
Think about it...the creative element is the other's demonstrative element, and vice versa.
Yes it would be nice to have someone help me in areas related to Hidden Agenda, but that doesn't have to come from a romantic relationship. Researching whatever project I'm doing can help cover some of those aspects. Plus it allows me to develop in an area I want to develop without feeling pressured by someone else's habits/style.
And, the Ne/Si dual-seeking function fits smoothly in my case. I don't see why it would be a problem in other cases.
IEE 649 sx/sp cp
wth @Aquagraph she says she's ISTP.
I cannot bring myself to go through all of your post because there's too much 'crush neurosis'
is this ILE? eh. In my experience irl ENTP men make it pretty damn obvious if they like you. I say grab his ass and then report back. It's like ripping off a band-aid....no harm done.
I'm sorry to disappoint you but even I am imperfect.
“I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden
Aren't we all? Such is life.I'm sorry to disappoint you but even I am imperfect.
But I still am bigger than life.
“I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden
I'd say that's a healthy self-confidence.
A cougar, LOL. But seriously, age disparity shouldn't be an issue in an ideal world but it is, specially considering you're a woman. 8.5 years is considerable when you're 35. You're probably living in different stages of life, with different goals and different ways of looking at issues.
If I were you, I would spend some time refining my knowledge of Socionics to determine if your own typing and his is correct. In my experience this theory is 100% accurate, so if you're really an SLI and he's an ILE, be sure that you will have many difficulties in the relationship. It will be inmensely fulfilling at times and at others it will be frustrating. Semiduality is a relationship charactrized by strong attraction followed by brief periods of intense repulsion. It's cyclical and you can't do anything about it. It happens because you feel comfortable sharing your compatible functions (leading) but suddenly come to realize that the details (creative function) are out of place.
Both Alphas and Deltas are kids inside. Alphas are probably more genuine because they don't pretend to be anything else. But since they accept their childish behaviors without regret, they often make a mess of their lives. Deltas are serious and strive to do the "right" thing. They separate their wishes from their decisions far more often than Alphas do. However, this often leads Deltas to lose touch with themselves and their true desires.
If I were you and considering you really have nothing with this guy, I would pass and wait until an IEE shows up. IEEs are scatterbrained and crazy like ILEs, but they are deeply loyal. Be sure that, as time goes, you'll become more and more attached but he will always be ready to dump you when problems arise because it's his nature not to be loyal toward anything. Besides, like anndelise says, semiduality is also easier between two ethicals than between two logicals.
[]
| NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
I wouldn't let socionics be a main consideration when it comes to relationships. The chance that you mistype yourself or him or that socionics isn't reliable would be to high for me. Just start something with him when you feel like might be a good experience for both of you.
I like the straight forwardness of your idea. LOL!!! But, I don't think I have the guts to do that!!! I did see him today. He talked about lessons again. I told him if he can't make it, why make the appointment. I told him that it's ridiculous to keep talking about it if he's not showing. He was shocked by my statement. OH Well!!! We'll see how that goes. He'll probably not talk to me again. But, that's okay. I've been nice enough this far.
Thanks for the advise. Heck, I my try the butt thing anyway just for laughs.!!!
More than one ENTp male has told me directly that they have a thing for older women. One of them was a bf at the time who was slightly older than me and I guess I wasn't giving him enough care taking sexual behavior but I was making him give me aggressive sexual behavior.
Doesn't ILE + SLI have an infantile + caregiver relationship? I think this is more important at the moment.. you will have chemistry with this pairing.
Not all would agree with that.I'd say that's a healthy self-confidence.
“I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden
Well I guess it's perspective.
I disagree with 1, but agree with 2.Let alone myself, where I currently work I know quite a few ILE males, I can't imagine them making clear approaches. At least, they would be rather hilarious than romantic.
I had discussions with my gf about our interaction in the beginning. She "blamed" me (long after) I was behaving like we were pals, even after having discussed stuff about a possible relationship, flattered each other, etc. And it is true, even if I had clear interest in her, I could not just jump into action like a horny dog. I think the other has to have the initiative with Alpha NTs, at least younger ones. In my case, when we were leaving a place, she unexpectedly pushed me against a wall, grabbed my head in her hands and kissed me. That was it. Just she is a Beta (INFp), only if you can do that... try drinking something in advance.
But here is the deal: if when you kiss him he is not grabbing your body (or head) himself using noticeable pressure and you feel he is inert like a straw man, if he doesn't show satisfaction at the course of events (like telling he is happy you did that) but remains neutral, most likely he does not like you physically or in style (or anything) and a relationship is impossible. Basically if you don't get clearly positive feedback forget about this "crush" of yours. Don't worry about his reaction, he will understand your reasons and won't judge you. You may remain friends, just make it clear you hold him no grudges.
Nice advice! He called me last night and said he was going up to Indiana for the day with some friends. He told me he had room enough for one more person, and he asked me if I wanted to go. So, we'll see how the day will go this weekend!!!I disagree with 1, but agree with 2.
I had discussions with my gf about our interaction in the beginning. She "blamed" me (long after) I was behaving like we were pals, even after having discussed stuff about a possible relationship, flattered each other, etc. And it is true, even if I had clear interest in her, I could not just jump into action like a horny dog. I think the other has to have the initiative with Alpha NTs, at least younger ones. In my case, when we were leaving a place, she unexpectedly pushed me against a wall, grabbed my head in her hands and kissed me. That was it. Just she is a Beta (INFp), only if you can do that... try drinking something in advance.
But here is the deal: if when you kiss him he is not grabbing your body (or head) himself using noticeable pressure and you feel he is inert like a straw man, if he doesn't show satisfaction at the course of events (like telling he is happy you did that) but remains neutral, most likely he does not like you physically or in style (or anything) and a relationship is impossible. Basically if you don't get clearly positive feedback forget about this "crush" of yours. Don't worry about his reaction, he will understand your reasons and won't judge you. You may remain friends, just make it clear you hold him no grudges.
One word of advice: I've always struggled with caregivers because they often project the image that they are so self sufficient they don't need anything from anyone. And then I wonder: how can you approach a person like that? They make me feel like they... well, don't need anything from me.
[
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
Semi duals make so much more sense
I kind of have problems with this. I'm probably the most self sufficent person on the planet and I think it can rub some people the wrong way but it's very irritating to me when someone insists on doing something for me that i'm perfectly capable of doing myself just because they feel like they "need" to because of gender roles or something. But I would say that for the most part, people who come across this way aren't necessarily aware of it and aren't trying to do it to seem 'holier than thou'..it's often just how they are. Like, it never occurs to me to ask for help...ever...and that bothers some people but it shouldn't because it's not personal. And so I'm curious, why would you not approach someone like this? What does them being self sufficient have to do with being a friend to them? Being self sufficient doesn't mean you don't need other people for emotional reasons.
We duals are two halves of the same whole Jess. Anything you don't like, I don't do it. For example, you said you can't stand people crying. Let's expand that idea and say that you don't like invasive emotional expressions of any kind. I don't do that. I don't approach people and begin saying them "hey, I like you a lot, let's be friends". Nope. I'm mute when it comes to such things. If I like someone, I demonstrate affection without words. One way I show affection is by being available to the people I care about, as to show them they are important to me.
Just today, my dad called me saying he couldn't get out because I left my car at the entrance and there were no keys to move it so even if I was enjoying a pizza with some friends, I dropped it and returned home to move it. Thing is, I have a relationship with my dad already. But when it comes to some random stranger, how could I do such things?
I almost never say "I love you". I assure you, I can count how many times I've said it in my life with the fingers of one hand. I can't say it if I don't mean it and when I really mean it, it's almost too intense to stand it. Perhaps that's why I value it so much when people asks me for help: I think it must be hard for a caregiver ST to admit they need help with something and they will probably turn to someone they trust when that happens. It makes them feel vulnerable.
I think Delta caregivers fear depending on others because deep down, they don't trust people easily. They expect that they are going to be abandoned at the worst time. But like I said, we're two halves of the same whole and just like I don't do what you don't like, I also provide what you want the most. And that thing is, that I don't abandon my people for any reason. Ever. Win my heart and I will always be loyal to you, even if it means death.
That is what Fi HA really is, by the way. If you ever wondered why you push people away, here it is. You give people tests to see if they are willing to abandon you under pressure. And so far, it seems like nobody has passed the test yet.
[
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
Can't stand ISTps.
ENTps want someone to give themto relax them and get them in touch with their physical sensations as opposed to their MIND and ideas. ISTp just want to provide that pleasure.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
We want them to be SEI, which they aren't and never will be.
Hi Detail
Aw. Come over for those SEI; I attract them like bears to honey. I just stand in a room and wiggle my butt when I think of a tune.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Point taken!!
Probably.
It's true. I find it difficult to trust people. My motto is: "If I want it done right, do it myself." Asking for help is something very difficult for me to do.
Why not??? We're lovable!!!
When you're willing to put the effort, yes. Most of the time SLIs are rebellious though, making stuff complicated...
What about your crush?
[
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
I don't know. He invited me to go with him and some friends to Indiana for the day. He didn't show. Sent me an 8-page text about why he didn't show. Flirted with me the next day. We went out to lunch with friends. He sat next to me and we talked. We felt comfortable with each other. We texted each others few days later before he left out of state a few days later. He came back and I saw him and talked to him briefly on Wednesday. Kept giving me googly eyes. But, he won't say anything other than our usual bantering and sparring. I know I'm crazy for liking him. But, every time he takes off his glasses to talk to me, I get lost in those gorgeous eyes. I sound like I'm 15 years old right now. But, we have too much in common.
Our friends think he likes another girl named Rosibel, but when I bring her up, he looks irritated and refuses to talk about her. So, I don't know. Thinking of letting it go. Can't be friends with him either. Would be too hard.
Hahahahahahahaha. I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but at how common this is with EXTp (see my rant here).
And they still try to defend themselves...
I see. He won't say anything... and YOU won't say anything either. Hmmm...
Let me share with you a little tale of my life that always makes me sad. Back when I was very young I used to be very shy around girls. They terrified me, I kid you not. And there was this girl I liked soooo much. I loved her. She was the first and probably the most intense love of my life. Now that I know about Socionics understand why: she was an SLI. In all this years I've never met another.
Now, she was just as shy as me so she liked me but didn't want to get close. She asked a common friend about me and she had the indiscretion to tell me about her crush on me. I played confident and confronted her about it. It worked for a day and from there on, she gained confidence but I became even more withdrawn. She blinded me like the sun does; I couldn't stand stare at her. I couldn't stand her to be close. Over the course of a full year, she tried to get close to me but she did it the wrong way. She played confident and talked loud to me and that scared me.
I spent countless days watching at the calendar, trying to put me a deadline for the time. I never managed to tell her anything. I once asked my best friend at the time, another SLI, to help me write and deliver a letter to her explaining it all. My friend took the letter I wrote, erased it all, and simply put few lines on it. I don't know what it was. Thing is, again, this girl treid to confront me about it and couldn't stand it so I fled that day. Shortly after I left the school to never come back (I was severely depressed at the time) and never seen her again.
The point of this tale is to be yourself. At the time, neither of us played our natural roles. I am an infantile and I don't like women to talk to me in a rude or "strong" way. Specially on matters of love, I like to be treated with tenderness. I expect women to be caregivers. I don't expect them to get in front of me and openly declare their love for me; I expect them to get close and give me a hug without a reason and hold me so I don't get it wrong.
Actually, a SEI girl acted just like that and it worked much better.
[
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
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