what does the male ENTP want from female ISTP? Men ENTP please respond

[Iris]

Doesn't ILE + SLI have an infantile + caregiver relationship? I think this is more important at the moment.. you will have chemistry with this pairing.

@zbrobins It might help to look at the nuances of SEI vs SLI caregiving. Try to notice what levels of encouragement your ILE appreciates. My SEI sister in law has the same laid back solid presence that my SLI friends have. But she sort of radiates this reassuring warmth and encouragement that is not as evident in SLIs. I think that is one of the things that my ILE brother loves about his wife. It must have something to do with Fe, but it is very understated, never loud. I never feel the same kind of warmth with my SLI friends, and it makes it hard for me to tell how they feel and I don't feel as reassured of their affection for me. (I'm not ILE, btw, but I am Fe valuing.) I wrote about bowling with my brother in another thread. He was having such a hard time with the equipment, his timing, the lane itself. It was ridiculous. The SEI was not overly attentive to his difficulties, and I don't think he really wanted anyone advising him, like an LSE or ESE might have in that situation. He just wanted to verbalize what he was having trouble with, and she would just listen, not even in a very active way, but you felt her sympathy. In that situation my SLI friend would probably also listen and then say, "You're bowling like shit today." Which would probably make my brother laugh in the moment. But in the long term, his wife really comforts him and steadies him with her gentleness and discretion. I think SLIs are more blunt and solid. Which works well for IEEs. @Park

[FDG]

I don't know how this specific person normally acts, but as another guy, if I were observing such scene I would think that he's attracted to you but really unsure on how to proceed and-if you're into him, thus he's also trying to play a little bit hard to get to avoid showering you with attention. Maybe you should take some initiative...just some light touching and see if he gets more comfortable...

[Absurd]

Hmm, I see, hmm. Mikemex. Hmm. I think I understand you. Hmm. I don't have a calendar nor watch though.

[xerx]

But she sort of radiates this reassuring warmth and encouragement that is not as evident in SLIs.

Agree 100%.

[Park]

@Park

Yes?

[Iris]

Yes?

Hey Park. I like the way you waded into the fray over in the delta forum. It was getting pretty heated over there.

[Park]

Hey Park. I like the way you waded into the fray over in the delta forum. It was getting pretty heated over there.

Okay.

[zbrobins]

@zbrobins It might help to look at the nuances of SEI vs SLI caregiving. Try to notice what levels of encouragement your ILE appreciates. My SEI sister in law has the same laid back solid presence that my SLI friends have. But she sort of radiates this reassuring warmth and encouragement that is not as evident in SLIs. I think that is one of the things that my ILE brother loves about his wife. It must have something to do with Fe, but it is very understated, never loud. I never feel the same kind of warmth with my SLI friends, and it makes it hard for me to tell how they feel and I don't feel as reassured of their affection for me. (I'm not ILE, btw, but I am Fe valuing.) I wrote about bowling with my brother in another thread. He was having such a hard time with the equipment, his timing, the lane itself. It was ridiculous. The SEI was not overly attentive to his difficulties, and I don't think he really wanted anyone advising him, like an LSE or ESE might have in that situation. He just wanted to verbalize what he was having trouble with, and she would just listen, not even in a very active way, but you felt her sympathy. In that situation my SLI friend would probably also listen and then say, "You're bowling like shit today." Which would probably make my brother laugh in the moment. But in the long term, his wife really comforts him and steadies him with her gentleness and discretion. I think SLIs are more blunt and solid. Which works well for IEEs. @Park

That's interesting. I'll read more into that.

[zbrobins]

I don't know how this specific person normally acts, but as another guy, if I were observing such scene I would think that he's attracted to you but really unsure on how to proceed and-if you're into him, thus he's also trying to play a little bit hard to get to avoid showering you with attention. Maybe you should take some initiative...just some light touching and see if he gets more comfortable...

Yeah. Maybe he is playing hard to get. After hearing me sing something, while he was headed out...he tapped me on the shoulder from behind and told me that he really loved my voice and that he wanted to hear it more. I thought he had left, so some time later I left. I saw his car waiting for his sister out the corner of my eye, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to annoy him. But as I walked away from the car, he honked at me and talked jibberish. He kept talking about the lallapalooza (chicago festival). I couldn't understand the point of his statement. But, I later on I notice pictures on his facebook of him and his sister going to this festival not to long after talking to me about it. So, I figured maybe he wanted to ask me, but couldn't work up the nerve or is playing hard to get. Or he wanted me to ask if I could go with him. Otherwise, what was the point of him constantly bringing it up?

[mikemex]

Yeah. Maybe he is playing hard to get. After hearing me sing something, while he was headed out...he tapped me on the shoulder from behind and told me that he really loved my voice and that he wanted to hear it more. I thought he had left, so some time later I left. I saw his car waiting for his sister out the corner of my eye, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to annoy him. But as I walked away from the car, he honked at me and talked jibberish. He kept talking about the lallapalooza (chicago festival). I couldn't understand the point of his statement. But, I later on I notice pictures on his facebook of him and his sister going to this festival not to long after talking to me about it. So, I figured maybe he wanted to ask me, but couldn't work up the nerve or is playing hard to get. Or he wanted me to ask if I could go with him. Otherwise, what was the point of him constantly bringing it up?

Sometimes I find it hard to tell if SLIs are shy or just plain cruel. This reminds me of the movie "Blade Runner", where this dialog appears:

HOLDEN
You're in a desert, walking along
in the sand when all of a sudden
you look down and see a tortoise.
It's crawling towards you...
You reach down and flip the
tortoise over on its back, Leon.
The tortoise lays on its back,
its belly baking in the hot sun,
beating its legs trying to turn
itself over. But it can't. Not
without your help. But you're
not helping.

Leon's upper lip is quivering.

LEON
Whatcha mean, I'm not helping?

HOLDEN
I mean you're not helping!
Why is that, Leon?

Until you get him to know about your feelings, he's just fearing your outward indifference and eventual rejection.

You don't just sit down and watch your loved ones to suffer.

[zbrobins]

Sometimes I find it hard to tell if SLIs are shy or just plain cruel. This reminds me of the movie "Blade Runner", where this dialog appears:



Until you get him to know about your feelings, he's just fearing your outward indifference and eventual rejection.

You don't just sit down and watch your loved ones to suffer.

I know. His family (parents, grandmother, siblings) invited me to dinner with them at a restaurant. He showed videos of his concert over the weekend on his phone. The he started telling me the type of songs he would want sung at his wedding when he gets married. Crazy!!! I know. I shoot from the hip, don't hold my tongue. But, for some reason, with him I am afraid to ask him what's going on. I know I'm a loser for it. I'm an ISTP. Why can't I work up the nerve to say what's on my mind???

[Iris]

What kinds of things would you feel comfortable saying to him? Maybe you could consider different statements and one of them could turn out to be a way to express yourself that doesn't leave you feeling too vulnerable. I like SLIs the way they are, meaning their remoteness is attractive. So I think in a way you are not being yourself by not being remote. But you need to find a way to communicate your feelings to him. And he is going to be looking for the reassurance he would get from an SEI.

[zbrobins]

What kinds of things would you feel comfortable saying to him? Maybe you could consider different statements and one of them could turn out to be a way to express yourself that doesn't leave you feeling too vulnerable. I like SLIs the way they are, meaning their remoteness is attractive. So I think in a way you are not being yourself by not being remote. But you need to find a way to communicate your feelings to him. And he is going to be looking for the reassurance he would get from an SEI.

I don't know what I would be comfortable saying. He begged my friend and I to go Salsa dancing with him and his boys. We danced a few dances. He didn't know how to do the turns. I told him to go to another guy and learn, he did that right away.

For me, the best way to show I care is to show / teach / assist someone. He has an upcoming conference where he has to speak in Portuguese. He's new to the language. He has many friends that know the language. But, he called me and asked me to help him translate some things. I was shocked because his friends have been learning longer that I have. So, I told him that I'll do the best I can. Afterwards, he told me to keep it confidential because "people like to talk". I guess he was embarrassed about not having enough knowledge of the language.

The next week he was sick. I called him, he told me how his day went. I then asked him about the upcoming conference and his progress with the Portuguese. He said it was not coming along to well and that he was nervous and that it was stressing him out. I tried to reassure him. A few days later, he came to me at another conference and thanked me for checking on him when he was sick. We talked about other stuff. Then, him and his sister came over later that day. He wanted to listen to his sister and I practice for a concert. He kept teasing me. I showed him more about the Portuguese language to try to calm his nerves.

I later asked his sister if he was bored at my place. She said that he was fine, in fact that he was practicing what I had taught him.

So, I don't know if my helpful actions or attitude are demonstrating anything, but I hope they are!!!

[mikemex]

I don't know what I would be comfortable saying. He begged my friend and I to go Salsa dancing with him and his boys. We danced a few dances. He didn't know how to do the turns. I told him to go to another guy and learn, he did that right away.

For me, the best way to show I care is to show / teach / assist someone. He has an upcoming conference where he has to speak in Portuguese. He's new to the language. He has many friends that know the language. But, he called me and asked me to help him translate some things. I was shocked because his friends have been learning longer that I have. So, I told him that I'll do the best I can. Afterwards, he told me to keep it confidential because "people like to talk". I guess he was embarrassed about not having enough knowledge of the language.

The next week he was sick. I called him, he told me how his day went. I then asked him about the upcoming conference and his progress with the Portuguese. He said it was not coming along to well and that he was nervous and that it was stressing him out. I tried to reassure him. A few days later, he came to me at another conference and thanked me for checking on me. We talked about other stuff. Then, him and his sister came over. He wanted to listen to us practice for a mini-concert. He kept teasing me. I showed him more about the Portuguese.

I later asked his sister if he was bored at my place. She said that he was fine, in fact that he was practicing what I teach.

So, I don't know if my actions are demonstrating anything, but I hope they are!!!

You're friendly but you aren't giving him any signals of wanting to be romantically involved. If you keep being "neutral" for a long time, it is likely that he'll cool off and convince himself that you're not interested and turn his attention elsewhere.

Keep in mind that you're acting in accordance to your natural preferences (Fi). An IEE is likely to keep a connection with someone they care about for a long, long time, probably forever. So you can really be passive for a year and not risk losing the IEE. But ILEs are different. ILEs are excitement-oriented. They switch partners if they lose interest because loyalty is not really a value for them. Trust me, I know this from close, my sister is one.

I have two important questions for you:

1) What exactly are you afraid of? You're avoiding something and you have to find out what is is and why.
2) Do you understand what it implies to be close to him? Sometimes it's easy to like people from distance but allowing them to get real close is another thing entirely.

[zbrobins]

You're friendly but you aren't giving him any signals of wanting to be romantically involved. If you keep being "neutral" for a long time, it is likely that he'll cool off and convince himself that you're not interested and turn his attention elsewhere.

Keep in mind that you're acting in accordance to your natural preferences (Fi). An IEE is likely to keep a connection with someone they care about for a long, long time, probably forever. So you can really be passive for a year and not risk losing the IEE. But ILEs are different. ILEs are excitement-oriented. They switch partners if they lose interest because loyalty is not really a value for them. Trust me, I know this from close, my sister is one.

I have two important questions for you:

1) What exactly are you afraid of? You're avoiding something and you have to find out what is is and why.
2) Do you understand what it implies to be close to him? Sometimes it's easy to like people from distance but allowing them to get real close is another thing entirely.

I think I am afraid that I could be mistaking his attitude for something unreal. Maybe he's being nice. So many times I've seen my girlfriends make this mistake of thinking someone was interested to later find out that they were only being friendly. I myself have made the past mistake of thinking that someone was just being friendly to later learn from our friends that he was romantically interested. I can't read the signals clearly...friendly or romantically interested?

I assumed that by telling me his concerns and fears that there must be some level of trust and closeness, right??? Maybe he sees me just as a friend. He rarely calls or texts me, only when he has concerns. He's also deep into a project which he's been focusing on intensely. He says he wants to make arrangements with me to see an orchestra concert after this project is done. One of my friends told me he was asking her about me. So, I'm confused...friendly or more than?

Also, there's another girl involved in the picture that likes him. All of her friends say that they like each other. But, I don't see him doing anything, she's making all the moves. And when I ask questions about her like "Have you heard from Rosibel this week?", he seems irritated and refuses to talk about her. So, I don't know if I'm just a friend or more. I don't want to straight up and ask him, then I'm afraid I come off as too strong / pushy.

Is there anything solid with ILE's that generally is a tell-tale sign of romantic interest that I could look for?

[Reficulris]

I think I am afraid that I could be mistaking his attitude for something unreal. Maybe he's being nice. So many times I've seen my girlfriends make this mistake of thinking someone was interested to later find out that they were only being friendly. I myself have made the past mistake of thinking that someone was just being friendly to later learn from our friends that he was romantically interested. I can't read the signals clearly...friendly or romantically interested?

I assumed that by telling me his concerns and fears that there must be some level of trust and closeness, right??? Maybe he sees me just as a friend. He rarely calls or texts me, only when he has concerns. He's also deep into a project which he's been focusing on intensely. He says he wants to make arrangements with me to see an orchestra concert after this project is done. One of my friends told me he was asking her about me. So, I'm confused...friendly or more than?

Also, there's another girl involved in the picture that likes him. All of her friends say that they like each other. But, I don't see him doing anything, she's making all the moves. And when I ask questions about her like "Have you heard from Rosibel this week?", he seems irritated and refuses to talk about her. So, I don't know if I'm just a friend or more. I don't want to straight up and ask him, then I'm afraid I come off as too strong / pushy.

Is there anything solid with ILE's that generally is a tell-tale sign of romantic interest that I could look for?

......you're masochistically driving yourself insane, addicted to the infatuation and not willing to risk the possible rejection. It's easy; stop analysing, text him "I like you". It was simple when we were 11 years old, its as simple now. It was hard when we were 11 years old, it still is. Text him now or forget about it. There is NOTHING people here can tell you to fix the situation, its between you and him.

Text him now! the telltale sign that he's into you is if he reacts favorable to that text.

Edit: and watch the movie: He's just not that into you. (not saying he's not, i'm saying you're doing the infatuated person routine)

[Destroypuppy]

Omg... ILE is probably interested in you.
ILE falls in love so easily, you can even talk to him about it, it wont damage your chances.