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Thread: Instructions: How To Love An LSE-ESTj

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    Default Instructions: How To Love An LSE-ESTj

    1. Listen to what they want from you that makes them happy.
    2. Do what they want from you that makes them happy.
    3. Be romantic, for their birthday and special occasions, be sentimental and mindful, make dinner plans and get them something nice.
    4. Give them attention, don't just say it, show it.
    5. Don't be a selfish lover.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 06-09-2013 at 07:07 AM.

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    Cynicism: How would you know? C:

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    I could be a cynic.

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    Doubtful, after all this time you are still preaching about and looking for LSE 'love' despite your repeated failures. That makes you an optimist, not a realist and certainly not a cynic.

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    1. Be spineless.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Doubtful, after all this time you are still preaching about and looking for LSE 'love' despite your repeated failures. That makes you an optimist, not a realist and certainly not a cynic.
    I don't care about my failures; they happen. I pick up the stick and move forward. I know what I want and I know eventually it will find me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I don't care about my failures; they happen. I pick up the stick and move forward. I know what I want and I know eventually it will find me.
    Einstein "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

    How are you going to modify your own behaviour or the selection of your partners to avoid repeating the same situation?

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Einstein "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

    How are you going to modify your own behaviour or the selection of your partners to avoid repeating the same situation?
    By doing the same thing are you referring to me dating a dual over and over again? So, I should date another type? No...that's not doing the same thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    By doing the same thing are you referring to me dating a dual over and over again? So, I should date another type? No...that's not doing the same thing.
    How are you going to modify your own behaviour or the selection of your partners to avoid repeating the same situation?

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    How are you going to modify your own behaviour or the selection of your partners to avoid repeating the same situation?
    There's nothing wrong about being optimistic, so I'm not changing that. Selection of partners is going to include someone who's nurture I know better...nature is their type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    There's nothing wrong about being optimistic, so I'm not changing that. Selection of partners is going to include someone who's nurture I know better...nature is their type.
    Third time lucky: How are you going to modify your own behaviour or the selection of your partners to avoid repeating the same situation?

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Third time lucky: How are you going to modify your own behaviour or the selection of your partners to avoid repeating the same situation?
    I'm not willing to say what I think online.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I'm not willing to say what I think online.
    Fair enough; however I'm sure you are aware that a transfer of experience would likely be more helpful to EIIs attempting to have constructive relationships with LSEs than the original over-specific inferences.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Fair enough; however I'm sure you are aware that a transfer of experience would likely be more helpful to EIIs attempting to have constructive relationships with LSEs than the original over-specific inferences.
    What does that mean? "A transfer of experience"???

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    5. Don't be a selfish lover.

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    6. Get to know them as a person, rather than as a type.
    7. Treat them as a person rather than as a type.
    8. Don't nag them to death.
    9. Accept them, including their flaws and issues. Stop trying to mold them into who you want. (If you are molding someone, then you aren't accepting them, and aren't really loving that person...just loving an ideal in your mind, instead.)
    10. I'm not allowed to say this last one.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    8. Don't nag them to death.
    Is this from your personal experience?

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    9. Accept them, including their flaws and issues. Stop trying to mold them into who you want. (If you are molding someone, then you aren't accepting them, and aren't really loving that person...just loving an ideal in your mind, instead.)
    Refer to my signature

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Is this from your personal experience?
    This comes from stories heard and read of some failed relationships of particular "EII".
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    Certainly one can't expect ALL LSE to be open minded and evolved.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 06-09-2013 at 08:21 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Refer to my signature
    Challenging and changing someone sounds a lot like descriptions for Beta and Gamma's romance styles.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Challenging and changing someone sounds a lot like descriptions for Beta and Gamma's romance styles.
    HAH!!!! Then you didn't read any descriptions of EII. Maybe I should link one for you. People themselves change, and if they don't with knowledge and experience then there's something wrong with them.

    Eh, I can't find it now. I have to make a category and maybe try to organize my findings...work!!!
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 06-09-2013 at 08:23 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Challenging and changing someone sounds a lot like descriptions for Beta and Gamma's romance styles.
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...uality-LSE-EII

    DYAD: CONTROLLING (LSE) - HUMANIST (EII)

    CONTROLLING

    Outwardly severe and businesslike, this sociotype contains in itself a tendency towards two quite different types of love: Pragma and Eros: fire and ice, realistic calculations and passionate affection makes him an internally contradicted person. He prefers to be ruled by reason and does not follow his feelings. Businesslike interests usually prevails over feelings and even over the pleasure from the contact with a loved person. However, periodically it arranges for its sensations a real celebration.

    This is a caring and reliable partner. He does all that is possible for the one he loves. His partner might feel a lack of compliments and verbal expression of feelings, but Controlling proves his love in practice, taking on himself most of the concerns and is fully satisfied if his partner is involved in the common matters and is accomplishing the tasks which require only attention and patience.

    He needs a partner - assistant which won't force his own will, methods or will dictate his own terms. Controlling might appear totally dry, controlling and demanding person if he wouldn't be to a degree softened by the presence of sensual love - Eros. Inclination towards this form of emotional behavior sometimes makes him romantic and generous in relation to the object of his feelings.

    He is capable to be faithful to his partner if the partner satisfies him sexually or if he values such partner in life for practical reasons. His feelings can burn long and vividly, although healthy pragmatism is not alien to him. In the absence of reciprocity he is capable of being guided by the feeling of duty, able to resist a new interest (in a person). He obeys to Pragma his erotic feelings also although he can recall his past lover for a long time.

    HUMANIST

    Combination of diplomatic Storge and inventive Filia makes him an ideal life partner for Controlling who is quite a difficult partner. On one hand Humanist allows him to be the head of the family but on the other hand he demands from a partner mutual understanding and respect to his interests. He specifically checks that he would not have differences with Controlling in worldview, personal behavior in regards to others, in upbringing of children, on future plans and everyday matters.

    In union with Storge - faithful family love, such manifestations of love of Filia hardens even more the union with quick tempered, proud and authoritarian Controlling partner. Humanist like no other finds approach to his dual. He can hold himself in control and do not say something unnecessary.

    Humanist presents his claims in such a form that his partner becomes embarrassed by his unethical behavior and sharp statements. Talks about relationships in this case ends up not with a quarrel but with a reconciliation or with a promise to reexamine his behavior.

    Humanist has an inherent patience and tact, caution and diplomacy but he is natural with those who he loves and prefers to speak the truth or to keep silent. His love Storge seeks happy harmonious family life, full of kindness and mutual concessions. But not onesided! Humanist - not a Victim sociotype. Even if he allows to be guided in practical matters due to his weak ability to deal with difficulties or absence of forceful qualities and confidence in itself, this does not mean he will allow his partner to cross the line dividing a caring friend from a heartless dictator.

    Humanist uses up a lot of mental forces on re-education of his partner and in time makes him closer to his ideal. If the partner does not go for compromises, does not listen to his counsel he can break this union. Controlling is set to the creation of durable family: upon sensing such a threat he can do everything in order to fix the relationship.

    The spiritual side of love for the Humanist means much more than the erotic one, furthermore he is shy and therefore needs an initiative taking partner who will actively show his desires. In love Humanist is restrained, mistrustful, observant. Little deviations in the behavior of the partner he receives painfully and does everything he can in order to preserve reciprocity in feelings. Even if in order to do this it is necessary to demonstrate offense and alienation. Humanist forgives regretting dual and tries to never remind him of the reason for their disagreement.

    Controlling can't stand discussion on personal matter and furthermore discussing relationship problems. Due to this he is inclined to do hasty conclusions and frequently commits ethical slips which complicates his relationships with people surrounding him. Lack of patience and self-control sometimes makes him sharp and tactless, he doesn't have enough not only diplomacy but also self-criticism. Due to this he needs the patience and perseverance of the Humanist who will tactfully and consistently re-educates his dual. Humanist acts not only as an educator but constantly he acts on the conscience of Controlling who is sufficiently sensitive and high moral principles are not alien to him.

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    Humanist uses up a lot of mental forces on re-education of his partner and in time makes him closer to his ideal. If the partner does not go for compromises, does not listen to his counsel he can break this union.
    So, if the partner doesn't cater to the will of the idealist, then the idealist will end the relationship?
    "You either change into what I want you to be, or we're through."??
    You call that love?
    This is the kind of relationship you want? Someone to submit themselves to what you want them to be?
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    So, if the partner doesn't cater to the will of the idealist, then the idealist will end the relationship?
    "You either change into what I want you to be, or we're through."??
    You call that love?
    This is the kind of relationship you want? Someone to submit themselves to what you want them to be?
    I'm so tired of this explaining stuff Ann. This should come naturally. I'm sure there's the right LSE out there for me. He will know who he is and why he's the right fit for me. I won't have to explain why I want certain things that way and what I'll have to put up with to get it. I'm sure if he loves me he'll do it. And, I will too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I'm so tired of this explaining stuff Ann. This should come naturally. I'm sure there's the right LSE out there for me. He will know who he is and why he's the right fit for me.
    How can he be the right fit for you if you think that loving him means changing him?
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    How can he be the right fit for you if you think that loving him means changing him?
    Because people change.

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    If he starts out as the perfect fit for you, and you change him "because people change", then he'll change Out Of being the perfect fit for you.
    But you're description isn't just about "people change", it's about You, specifically, being the one to change him.
    Last edited by anndelise; 06-09-2013 at 09:00 AM. Reason: Missing letters, stupid ipain.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    If he starts out as the perfect fit for you, and you change him "because people change", then he'll change Out Of being the perfect fit for you.
    But you're description isn't just about "people change", it's about You, specifically, being the one to change him.
    I can do that. I've seen that happen in my personal relationships. And, most of the time, it's turned out for the better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    1. Listen to what they want from you that makes them happy.
    2. Do what they want from you that makes them happy.
    3. Be romantic, for their birthday and special occasions, be sentimental and mindful, make dinner plans and get them something nice.
    4. Give them attention, don't just say it, show it.
    5. Don't be a selfish lover.
    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    6. Get to know them as a person, rather than as a type.
    7. Treat them as a person rather than as a type.
    8. Don't nag them to death.
    9. Accept them, including their flaws and issues. Stop trying to mold them into who you want. (If you are molding someone, then you aren't accepting them, and aren't really loving that person...just loving an ideal in your mind, instead.)
    10. I'm not allowed to say this last one.
    11. Keep those in mind at all time while being spontaneous and simple-hearted.

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    you may show him new possible paths to go but don't give him the feeling you want to change him

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    Sure. Who is he?

    Also, this lovely article just came to my mind. Out of the blue.

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    EII dreams.



    EII reality.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Daft21 View Post
    you may show him new possible paths to go but don't give him the feeling you want to change him
    oh Daft, no one wants to change anyone; it's all an over reaction.

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    Quote Originally Posted by malna View Post
    Sure. Who is he?
    guess .

    Actually i thnk that's true for 80% of all man

    Quote Originally Posted by malna View Post
    Also, this lovely article just came to my mind. Out of the blue.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    oh Daft, no one wants to change anyone; it's all an over reaction.
    I know how the nanashi quote is meant but i didn't know how you interpret it. Then everythings fine

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    Quote Originally Posted by malna View Post
    Sure. Who is he?

    Also, this lovely article just came to my mind. Out of the blue.
    What is he going to do for you?

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    I can't hear you over the noise of a vacuum!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    oh Daft, no one wants to change anyone; it's all an over reaction.
    The link to the poem you said you wrote when you were a child. A poem about molding a man to fit your ideal.
    http://forum.socionix.com/topic/4078-man-in-the-river/

    A thread you wrote about one of your supposed EII and LSE relationships. Including the pushing of the relationship, an improvised series of terribly emotional roller coaster games description, and testing the other person's love and loyalty.
    http://forum.socionix.com/topic/4072-delta-love/

    (Note: it seems that that forum had done one of those word switchers usually reserved for curse words or such. "Bullshit" in that thread is actually "socionics". I strongly dislike when forum owners or moderators fuck with people's posts like that.)
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