Disregard for others' perception of you

[Park]

I used to feel self-conscious and worried about this as a kid, but what I've found over the years is that I'm actually way more self-confident and productive when not caring about it at all. Do you have any related thoughts and/or experiences you'd like to share?

[mikemex]

Just wait for an IEE to come around and make a sharp remark about you. Then you'll find out if you really disregard it...

[FDG]

It usually depends if either my income or personal satisfaction as a person depends on them. If yes, I won't disregard their perception of me. If no, I will.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Part of me wishes I cared less about what others thought of me. Yet I feel that concern about what others think of me helps me to rein in certain behaviors/tendencies. It's a vicious cycle.

[Absurd]

Hmm, not really sure but when it is someone close I think I would be interested in what prompted them to have a such and such view of me to check whether it actually does paint a picture close to the original.

I wouldn't bother with strangers for I don't know anything about them and vise versa.

[Creepy-male]

I think its important to acknowledge others' perceptions of you, but its important to filter the constructive from destructive aspects in terms of what you internalize. I think disregarding others' perceptions of you is important when you are faced with someone trying to destructively label you.

I think identity is extremely fluid, more so than many people realize or would like to acknowledge, in some ways I look at people and see how they are kind of like method actors and don't even realize it. Regardless underneath this I do feel like everyone has some kind of identity or potential, and I think many people don't really find ways to actualize it into reality because it conflicts with social custom. In this way I think many people are not living up to their destiny or potential and don't even realize it, but imo its the source of much unhappiness in people is they feel forced to be someone they aren't for social acceptance. Thus they are method actors.

When someone judges you negatively and tries to destructively label you this to me seems like it could lead to a person loosing their sense of self and having that social shame drive them further away from their true destiny. Then again maybe they are correct in this label, in which case the very existence of your presence is a disease and by your nature there is not much you can do to change this. Either way the true key imo is to harmonize, take the constructive, and disregard the destructive. Some people are immature and don't know how to work with people and just want to whine and vent, worst thing to do is let them get to you.

[Park]

I think disregarding others' perceptions of you is important when you are faced with someone trying to destructively label you.

This would probably require assessing their intentions accurately. Not caring about them in the first place is an easy shortcut to the same result, IMO.

Anyways, I was talking more about the "image" you portray to people and caring about how your behavior comes across and is being used in forming their perception, regardless of their reactions.

[Creepy-male]

Hmm yea I tend to think of it different, I meant constructive/destructive in terms of your self-development, which is subject to internal criteria. Not necessarily the person's intentions, in other words take what's positive to you from the experience and discard the "fat" or unnecessary negative aspects. I tend to think most shame is internal anyways and people only prick wounds that already exist inside someone.

[chriscorey]

When I was 9 or 10 I had a huge issue with this. I think 4^th grade was and still is the worst year of my life. I went to a brand new school and all the girls in my class hated me in contrast with the boys who all had a crush on me.The girls were relentless bullies and it was so bad that I stopped eating lunch because I didn’t want to be in the lunch line with them; it’s where they harassed me the most. The teacher noticed I stopped eating and so she would make a spectacle of me in front of the entire class; every morning she would call on me and request that I held up a lunch bag, which I usually just had an orange in…

I was stressed out at home too and my grades dropped significantly. My father would get angry because somehow boys got my number from the teachers desk and they would prank call me all the time.
I was a really nice kid and basically sweet and helpful to everyone in an effort to promote a positive perception of myself, which I cared about a lot. It didn’t matter what I did. I think peoples’ perception of you depends on the group of people you’re around at the time. There are a lot of people out there who unconsciously judge a book by its cover; they’ll then turn around and lie about it.

I finally got really sick of their bullshit and I cut all my hair off. I looked like a little boy. Guess what? I became friends with every girl in the class, even the meanest bully of all; in fact she and I became best friends. I was mistaken as a boy a lot, but it was better than the alternative.

I do not care what strangers think of me at ALL. I care about what co-workers, friends and family think about me. I disregard the opinion of people who don’t know me and ironically, they misinterpret my actions and behavior anyway.I really have no issue with this at all irl. Most people like me and I get along great without really trying. I’m uncertain it’s the same online though; it seems like people make subjective judgments to my writing and apply it however they interpret it. Not my problem. It’s like someone accusing me of being a guy online; I know I’m not a guy, so why would I be offended? Why would I care?

I think it has to do with healthy self-confidence. I no longer have an issue with this. In 4^th grade I cared too much, and it turned really ugly. Lesson learned. That's my only real experience with it that sticks out.

know thyself

[Park]

^ None of that made sense until I read the following sentence:

I was mistaken as a boy a lot, but it was better than the alternative.

I had the impression you were a guy for some reason. Kind of ironical.

[Beautiful sky]

My powers of perception are weak; if I disregarded someone it wasn't on purpose.

I disregard things often, by no fault of my own, but I do it, it happens therefore it exists.

[chriscorey]

^ None of that made sense until I read the following sentence:





I had the impression you were a guy for some reason. Kind of ironical.

(Calvin and Hobbes)
Calivn :"Do you like being a girl?"
Susie : "Its gotta be better than the alternative."
Calvin : "Whats it like? Is it like being a bug?"
Susie : "Like a WHAT?"
Calvin : "I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."

[InvisibleJim]

People who really hold 'general' peoples opinion, and it is that, opinion, in high regard generally have poorly formed identities and therefore they don't have a solid identity to modify.