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Thread: Haha, wtf? meeting another INFp

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    Dioklecian's Avatar
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    Some days ago I saw an ESTP INFP dual couple, it was interesting, she was not the boss for some reason

    (she being the ESTP)
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

  2. #2
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    Some days ago I saw an ESTP INFP dual couple, it was interesting, she was not the boss for some reason

    (she being the ESTP)

    she's secretly the boss don't worry.

    my estp lets me pretend im the boss all the time but most of the time he's thinking he is


    lol silly estp

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    Joy's Avatar
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    why must there be a boss?
    SEE

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    oyburger's Avatar
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    My ESTp likes to tell everyone I'm the boss and generally lets me believe it to be true.

    "why must there be a boss?"

    agreed.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Joy's Avatar
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    I like to say that if someone says "I'm in charge" it means they're not. Just like if someone says "Trust me" you shouldn't.
    SEE

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  6. #6
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    In reality no one is really the boss, well with me and Patrick at least. It's sort of just a little game.

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    Exits, pursued by a bear. Animal's Avatar
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    I think, to some extent, both the ESTp and the INFp in the relationship will tend to think they're better than the other. It's sort of funny. Like:

    ESTp: "I could totally PWN the INFp."
    INFp: "Without me, the ESTp would totally PWN herself."

    Both of them are "the boss" in the sense that, the ESTp rules at what she values and the INFp rules at what the INFp values. These values aren't mutually held (the ESTp doesn't values what the INFp values, and vice versa), and so they are no threat to each other's "bossness".
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    olduser's Avatar
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    perceptive types are more prone to take common gender roles in their intimate relationships whether it's known or not.
    asd

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    Quote Originally Posted by heath
    perceptive types are more prone to take common gender roles in their intimate relationships whether it's known or not.
    that's very interesting... I would have thought rational types would be more likely to accept common gender roles *throws up*

    sorry... bad experiences with a therapist who said I have "gender role reversal issues" wtf? who is she to tell me what my role is?!
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    oyburger's Avatar
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    I'm not a big fan of gender roles either.
    I get along with girls less because I'm not girly enough
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    olduser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    that's very interesting... I would have thought rational types would be more likely to accept common gender roles
    This is true. I made that statement as a test to see what people are willing to digest as far as socionics information.

    Anyway, most intelligent people who have decided to face life together don't take common gender roles, and if they do, it's a trivial matter that only becomes appearant in social interaction. In example: Groups of couples get together and to create a playful atmosphere they call out the weaknesses associated with their partner's gender role. In case you are wondering, I learned this observing the annual card game of my parent's social circle.

    Also, almost every girl or boy I've ever met has said, "i don't get along with my gender as well as the i do with the other gender." It's more like: You have more friends of the other gender because you want to keep your reproductive options open(if you are young, and single, as i assume most forum users are), and having friends of your own gender limits those options and creates competition in a place where you really don't want it. It's nature more than a personal decision.
    asd

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    oyburger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath

    Also, almost every girl or boy I've ever met has said, "i don't get along with my gender as well as the i do with the other gender." It's more like: You have more friends of the other gender because you want to keep your reproductive options open(if you are young, and single, as i assume most forum users are), and having friends of your own gender limits those options and creates competition in a place where you really don't want it. It's nature more than a personal decision.
    This is an interesting theory that I've not thought of, however, in my observation girls that most identify with their gender role tend to stick together doing things explicit to their gender. They venture out and have a boyfriend (none that last long) and they never see the other sex as an option for a friend. They also tend to dislike other women who don't fit so nicely into the female gender role. From what I've seen this can also be said for men who identify most with their own gender role.

    These men and women seem to be the most sought after by the opposite sex as well.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    I do think intelligence plays a large role. Let's think of the groups of females going out to clubs together or going shopping together... let's think of the males watching nascar together or going off on hunting trips...

    let them be them I say...
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  14. #14
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I do think intelligence plays a large role. Let's think of the groups of females going out to clubs together or going shopping together... let's think of the males watching nascar together or going off on hunting trips...

    let them be them I say...
    Boring :/

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    and they would say this is boring
    SEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I do think intelligence plays a large role. Let's think of the groups of females going out to clubs together or going shopping together... let's think of the males watching nascar together or going off on hunting trips...

    let them be them I say...
    maybe intelligence was the wrong word for me to use. Maybe the degree to which they are in tune with their society's gender issues would be a better factor to examine in the choices a person makes concerning gender role. In other words(belonging to the stereotypical male): How big of a pansy-ass the person is. Or for the female: How big of a traitor they are.
    asd

  17. #17
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    I think what Baby said last was pretty accurate.

    I don't think I ever really fit into a gender role, but I do have fun playing around with different "roles" in the way I dress and "play" with others. I sorta decide how I want to act for the day. Sometimes I'll act like a tom-boy, or womanly, girly, logical, etc...and normally I dress the part too, lol.

    My ESTp on the other hand, I think is a little bit stuck in his gender role. He likes to play sports, watch sports, drive in mud, pay for things blah de blah, but he doesn't try to put ME in any sort of role, it's like he is just concerned with his. This doesn't bother me and I find it cute, especially on those rare occasions where he steps out of it and acts different, for instance during romantic moments and the like.


    I used to really think I might be more intelligent than him, but being with him over more time, I realize that there are different aspects of intelligence that we value, so what Baby said pretty much covered it.



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    oyburger's Avatar
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    I think that's pretty funny aurora_faerie, because my ESTp is not stuck in his gender role at all. He likes sports and all those other things, but he's better at most domestic things then I am.

    An example would be today, I'm going to a bachelorette party tonight and I'm in charge of making the pen!s cake (bad idea). He's had to give me tips on cooking it and decorating it, he even offered to bake himself. He also had to give me tips and help my iron my party dress too.

    He takes care of the wild rabbit outside of our apartment and is better with infants then me.

    I like this much better then some guy who only knows how to do guy activities.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    I like this much better then some guy who only knows how to do guy activities.
    <3 <3 <3

    "guy activities" are worthless to me. there was a guy who was interested in me that tried to make a display of how much better he is at "guy things" than peter. pfft. I told him I'm not interested in having a live in mechanic. If there's something that needs to be fixed, I'll either fix it or hire someone to fix it. he had this attitude like "he's not good at fixing things, he's not into sports... what's he good for???"

    I think most men and women are very threatened by people who fall out of gender roles. They are used to be judged on a specific scale, and when someone comes along who doesn't score highly on that scale but is still a "worthwhile" person, it throws off their whole concept of reality and disturbs them.
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  20. #20
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    and they would say this is boring
    It can be.

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    oyburger's Avatar
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    That's been my experience Joy.

    BTW, he came home and ended up having to fix the cake that I messed up, now that he got a hold of it looks good
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    @Diana

    Thats the way it was for me growing up too. If I took an interest in it, my parents would teach me. I just happened that I never took an interest in domestic chores because they were basically ignored in my household.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Exits, pursued by a bear. Animal's Avatar
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    [asstalk.]

    Stage One:
    There are plenty of men and women who are pretty oblivious to the effect the current trends in masculinities and femininities have on them. "Current" because, these notions tend to change from one generation to the next, even from year to year. It wasn't too long ago that any man who styled his hair, or so much as took an interest in grooming himself, was suspect. Any woman who wore pants was troubled. Gender roles were (and for a lot of people, still are) prescribed to the letter for men and women.

    Stage Two:
    Then comes the pseudo-egalitarian stage post-Feminism, where men "got in touch with their femininity" and the long disenfranchised women got a taste of what men had been up to. Unfortunately, it evolved to the point where "intelligent and evolved" men and women became more or less an ambiguous hybrid, that everyone thinks they want but no one wants to sleep with.

    Both those stages are necessary but you have to realize at some point that neither are ideal. Ideally, most people do identify with one or the other gender role. Completely 50/50 balance is pretty rare for most people. Likewise, completely, 100% one way or the other is also very rare.

    There is a Stage Three:
    I think, to some extent, Socionics might very well be a good stepping-stone into the third stage, where we realize labels are limitations, and "masculine" and "feminine" and even "gender" are useless. We might as well call them "yin" and "yang." Be what you are, and ignore labels. If that's more "masculine" - great. If that's more "feminine" - also great.

    I'm troubled by the facade people will put up, even among their closest friends. So many people I know feel obligated to act out labels. It's artificial, and it ruins any chance of honest, real, complete interaction. I think a lot of times, we have moments where that genuinity pops up (transcending gender or egalitarian "supposed-to"s, or age, or occupation, Socionics type even) with certain people more than others, and the more that happens the closer and truer our relations with said person are.

    [/asstalk.]
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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