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Thread: Romancing styles: aggressor females - why?

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    Default Romancing styles: aggressor females - why?

    @blackburry
    @squark
    @fairylights
    @jetcitywoman
    @dolphin
    @Allie


    i'm sure i'm forgetting some.

    do you identify with the aggressor descriptions? if so: why do you, you know, "aggress?" what motivates your behavior? what attracts you to Ni types?

    (i'm obviously examining my own behavior but i'll spare the details, at least for now)

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    care to elaborate jim? lol

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    aggressors gonna agress
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    care to elaborate jim? lol
    Nope :|

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa3s View Post
    aggressors gonna agress
    Regress.

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    Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)

    These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.
    yep. sounds about right.

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    BUT WHY

    why are you won over by indirect acts of submission? why do you want to break down someone's solid facade?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    BUT WHY

    why are you won over by indirect acts of submission? why do you want to break down someone's solid facade?
    Partly because it's there and it makes me feel good to break it. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment, like "HA, I did that" where other people failed to do so.

    I should specify that I'm interested only when I sense that there's something worth exploring behind the facade and I want to see it. Not interested in breaking it down for its own sake.

    I can't say I agree 100% with just the general aggressor description, just parts of it.

    • no doubts about own interest in another person -- I tend to overthink initial interest.
    • not prone to hesitation about whether or not to reveal that interest -- I do actually like to get a better sense of whether or not it will be worthwhile.
    • focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate -- Nope.
    • romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness" -- I'd say it's a mixture of both. Bait and switch. I also like being tender for its own sake.
    • needs to feel some sense of "superiority" over the partner, but worthwhile only if the partner is seen as able to largely "keep up" -- This is very very very true of me.
    • this takes the form of power games, which others might regard as cruel or bitchy -- Perhaps. I like to feel that banter is a high stakes game when I'm flirting.
    • in the case of female Aggressors with male partners, the above tends to assume the characteristic of a woman expecting total devotion from the partner, rather than her being "bossy" -- This seems like a very normal expectation to me, aggressor or otherwise.
    • little inclination to externally admit not having been the one to end a relationship, unless if adopting a "who cares" front simultaneously -- Yes, yes, YES. Absolutely.


    I feel like I'm a blend of the aggressor/victim styles, to be honest.

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    I dunno.
    I've always been this way.
    I thought everyone did it the same until I realized they don't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    I dunno.
    I've always been this way.
    I thought everyone did it the same until I realized they don't.
    i always thought caregiver/infantile was more normal and that i was weird for a girl.
    i still think i'm weird for a girl. but my venus is in aries. ^_^

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    You're like a cosmic dancer, lungs.

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    My Venus is in Scorpio. Grr.

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    Omg, my horoscope is amazing (take my word for it). Do you want to see my spaceship?

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    pf as if socionics has any more validity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    pf as if socionics has any more validity.
    I think linking Socionics with astrology isn't a wise move.

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Do you want to see my spaceship?
    Gammas and their spaceships...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Gammas and their spaceships...

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    Girls are weird. One minute they will accept and love your insecurities the next they will want u to be a tough alpha male that isn't afraid of anything at all. Women are just born crazy, the female orgasm is erratic as Hitta would say. No wonder they dig the crazies that cut up little animals eh?

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    I do, I do.

    Socionics identity crisis.
    "[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan

    Brought to you by socionix.com

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    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    Girls are weird. One minute they will accept and love your insecurities the next they will want u to be a tough alpha male that isn't afraid of anything at all. Women are just born crazy, the female orgasm is erratic as Hitta would say. No wonder they dig the crazies that cut up little animals eh?
    Nah, not really. My S.O. can't really show a lot of insecurities at all. But other people can.....friends. And, no, i don't dig crazies that cut up little animals anymore. Those were the days.... the 80s and 90s.
    I think a lot of men dig crazy fucking chicks too.....they must.... since women are born crazy. (I don't really believe either gender is crazier.... I think humans are crazy in general, tbth.)

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    .
    Last edited by Zenoa; 06-05-2013 at 03:26 AM.

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    It's kind of hard to take this seriously when the female drill sergeants here in basic are fucking crazy and pretty much LSEs. The guys are a lot nicer. The black lady drill sargeant is the worst and she's always in PMS mode, pre-emptively. They make SEE and ESI look like puppies and they aren't Ni/Se valuing. Not to mention that the SLE I lived with had a reputation for being really nice.

    But...aggressor here just means assertive, right? Cause that might make a lot more sense for me or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tackk View Post
    It's kind of hard to take this seriously when the female drill sergeants here in basic are fucking crazy and pretty much LSEs. The guys are a lot nicer. The black lady drill sargeant is the worst and she's always in PMS mode, pre-emptively. They make SEE and ESI look like puppies and they aren't Ni/Se valuing. Not to mention that the SLE I lived with had a reputation for being really nice.

    But...aggressor here just means assertive, right? Cause that might make a lot more sense for me or something.
    People misunderstand creative Si: Si in Socionics is called judiciousness. What exactly is that? Judicious is defined as a system of psychological reward orientated towards giving others pleasure. (This is in Renin's book.) Some people give rewards easily and spoil people. The creative Si of the LSE takes the form of refusing to give pleasure to others except as a tool of control. The LSE drill sergeant is tight with giving rewards. She gives rewards only for the performance she desires. The creative Si of the LSE also takes the form of seeking resources for family members, but not employees or subordinates unless they work for it.

    That is not Se which is defined as a Resolute: This is a person with a system of psychological reward which is resolute to seize pleasure. The aggressor is resolute to receive pleasure from her man and chases him down. They do not give pleasure, they seize it.
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
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    Socionics -
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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Se egos want a challenge. What about a flaky Ni ego person who contemplates leaving, or isn't dedicated/committed to the relationship? Great. More challenge for Se to prove themselves to keep them around. More games they'll have to win, more work they'll put forth, all to validate that they are strong enough and worthy enough to keep the Ni ego by their side. From my perspective, the Ni submission provides internal validation to Se that they're worth something.
    I think irl, it's easier to say that without Te/Fi, my life was falling down a hole. I needed Te balance to help me to see long-term goals and strategies and create career paths, and I needed Te/Fi to help me to judge situations and people effectively enough to steer myself. I've gone through periods where I despised Te and Fi, but in the long-term, it was what I needed in order to grow into a place where I could manage my life. I've got enough Ni to get by. I find that if I'm submitting to anything in this scenario, it's Te and Fi. I do like challenges, but I've moved to a point where Se doesn't dictate my actions as much. That's basically going down a rabbithole.....

    I like Ni-egos as friends many times. I find them interesting. I actually like any type of N as a friend, because they are different/unique enough to me to keep my interest. I wouldn't say that I'm any more of a submitter to N friends than S. I give a lot of compliments to my friends, because I like them, and I find that it balances the insensitive remarks I may make. I choose my friends many times based on their values or principles, what they can add to the relationship, and commonalities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    People misunderstand creative Si: Si in Socionics is called judiciousness. What exactly is that? Judicious is defined as a system of psychological reward orientated towards giving others pleasure. (This is in Renin's book.) Some people give rewards easily and spoil people. The creative Si of the LSE takes the form of refusing to give pleasure to others except as a tool of control. The LSE drill sergeant is tight with giving rewards. She gives rewards only for the performance she desires. The creative Si of the LSE also takes the form of seeking resources for family members, but not employees or subordinates unless they work for it.

    That is not Se which is defined as a Resolute: This is a person with a system of psychological reward which is resolute to seize pleasure. The aggressor is resolute to receive pleasure from her man and chases him down. They do not give pleasure, they seize it.
    I'm not sure I completely understand, but interesting.

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    I’m not really sure what my deal is or why I am the way I am. I would say I’m, errr, competitive, but not in the traditional sense …I remember my female friends competing with each-other for certain guys and I just never had any interest there. I would prefer to compete WITH the guy.

    I’ve always liked Angelina Jolie. When Angelina Jolie was asked if she'd like to play a Bond girl she replied: “No, I’m not comfortable with that, but I would like to play Bond.” ^^

    I’ve never particularly cared for this movie, but I have always had a fetish for the action/fighting scenes in it. I think I like watching Brad Pitt get pwnd for the most part.



    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    I’m not really sure what my deal is or why I am the way I am. I would say I’m, errr, competitive, but not in the traditional sense …I remember my female friends competing with each-other for certain guys and I just never had any interest there. I would prefer to compete WITH the guy.
    Yea, I'm like that too. I like to compete in scenarios where the reward is that I won an intellectual battle or game based on skill.
    If a guy has girls fighting over him, I think that's kinda ho-ish/pimp trailer trash shit.. I'll just bail out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jet city woman View Post
    Yea, I'm like that too. I like to compete in scenarios where the reward is that I won an intellectual battle or game based on skill.
    If a guy has girls fighting over him, I think that's kinda ho-ish/pimp trailer trash shit.. I'll just bail out.
    Lol so judgy; what’s wrong with trailer people? You sound like my dad. He refused to let me visit friends if they lived in a trailer or an apartment.

    Anyway, yeah, I don’t bail out; I just lose interest. In high school I liked a guy that went to a different high school. He was a derp captain of the football team overachiever type guy. He had various girls that wanted to date him and I lived fairly far away from him. I liked him because he was a writer, but he tried pitting me against the other girls, so I told him it’s better if we’re just friends. The girl he ended up dating turned out to be a crazy stalker. I said “Haha!” We’re still friends today, but he’s Mr. Fancy Pants lawyer now, so we don’t talk much because he's a workaholic.

    It’s a respect thing, right?
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Lol so judgy; what’s wrong with trailer people? You sound like my dad. He refused to let me visit friends if they lived in a trailer or an apartment.
    Lol, well, I think I ascribe certain behaviors with certain categories. Yes, I'm judging it but not necessarily with a negative connotation. It's just not an activity I find satisfactory.
    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Anyway, yeah, I don’t bail out; I just lose interest. In high school I liked a guy that went to a different high school. He was a derp captain of the football team overachiever type guy. He had various girls that wanted to date him and I lived fairly far away from him. I liked him because he was a writer, but he tried pitting me against the other girls, so I told him it’s better if we’re just friends. The girl he ended up dating turned out to be a crazy stalker. I said “Haha!” We’re still friends today, but he’s Mr. Fancy Pants lawyer now, so we don’t talk much because he's a workaholic.

    It’s a respect thing, right?
    What do you mean by "it's a respect thing"? I don't think I quite understand the meaning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jet city woman View Post
    Lol, well, I think I ascribe certain behaviors with certain categories. Yes, I'm judging it but not necessarily with a negative connotation. It's just not an activity I find satisfactory.


    What do you mean by "it's a respect thing"? I don't think I quite understand the meaning.
    Hush! You really are my dad! He slaps me on the back of the head if I say "thing" and then he says "use your brain lazy kid" just kidding

    I mean, you demand respect and value yourself.
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Hush! You really are my dad! He slaps me on the back of the head if I say "thing" and then he says "use your brain lazy kid" just kidding

    I mean, you demand respect and value yourself.
    Cute girls are not smart. Dumb down a bit or you're getting grounded.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jet city woman View Post
    Cute girls are not smart. Dumb down a bit or you're getting grounded.
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post

    Only Ni egos present enough chase for an Se ego. I had an Se friend use a metaphor for something else once, but I'll share the metaphor: "Nobody ever plays an easy video game again. If you beat the game in 30 minutes, you never want to play again, because it's boring. But if you play a challenging game, you'll keep coming back to play more, even after you've beaten it."

    Se egos want a challenge. What about a flaky Ni ego person who contemplates leaving, or isn't dedicated/committed to the relationship? Great. More challenge for Se to prove themselves to keep them around. More games they'll have to win, more work they'll put forth, all to validate that they are strong enough and worthy enough to keep the Ni ego by their side. From my perspective, the Ni submission provides internal validation to Se that they're worth something.
    I don't know though, you need to be pretty skilled with ethical and sensory functions if you want to pull that flaky game with confidence? What if the other party just says "ok, screw you, bye"? I don't know if I do it unconsciously, but I think I would generally be unable to (in romantic relationships)
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    what’s wrong with trailer people?
    They smell.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    BUT WHY

    why are you won over by indirect acts of submission? why do you want to break down someone's solid facade?
    because she CAN.

    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    Girls are weird. One minute they will accept and love your insecurities the next they will want u to be a tough alpha male that isn't afraid of anything at all. Women are just born crazy, the female orgasm is erratic as Hitta would say. No wonder they dig the crazies that cut up little animals eh?
    Hahahaha.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i always thought caregiver/infantile was more normal and that i was weird for a girl.
    i still think i'm weird for a girl. but my venus is in aries. ^_^

    Funny. I always thought that aggressor-victim is more normal.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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