1. What is beauty? What is love?'
Beauty and Love? I honestly don't know how to answer that question. To me Love is simply a deep connection that connects people together, and allows them to forgive trespasses and other such thing. Love isn't really something that I feel very often though, even towards my family. I don't know why, I just don't feel a deep attraction to someone because I share blood ties with them. I never really felt romantic love, I'd certainly like to, but I'm too much of a dick sometimes. I admit, I'm a rather "cagey" person whenever it comes to friendship and shit like that. It hurts to be isolated, but I don't think anyone would be interested in me anyways. So it's just something I'll have to deal with.
As for Beauty? Well anything that inspires a sense of awe that blows me back, it's pretty weird actually. At any case I'll give you an example. I was watching a few documentaries on youtube about how apes (monkeys or whatever the fuck) are extremely intelligent animals, and I couldn't really help but be effected by how wonderfully curious and playful the monkeys are. I guess a sense of curiosity is what I find to be beautiful, but that's just one example though. There is something like them in ourselves, the only thing that they had wrong was whenever the monkeys didn't bother to teach each other how to do things. In the sense that they showed them how to do it. My sense of awe and beauty came to an end, it was sad really. Those animals cannot teach each other in the true sense. It's sad really. Don't get me as some sort of animal lover, I think most of them are rather boring. I just love apes though. They are very lovely creatures.
2. What are your most important values?
I don't really have that much of a set of important set of values to be honest. I never really thought of it actually.
I'd say that one thing that I truly value is criticism and how one adapts to the environment. After all, without the ability to take criticism, then you'll just find yourself in some extremely deep shit. It also means that one's mind is open, and it helps to have an open mind whenever you are dealing with anything. I also value honesty as well, no matter if it's not the correct response that "society" wishes to impose on us all. After all, I'd rather be blunt and honest, than a lying bastard who just goes along with what everyone else is saying. Which seems like a bizarre contradiction to the value of criticism statement, but it's not. One can take the criticism of other person, without letting the critiques control who you are.
On the other hand, if my life is going to be in danger, then I will lie. I don't like to be forced into doing something, but I'll bide my tongue if it means that people will die if I don't. Sometimes one has to abandon their values, whenever certain circumstances force a bad hand on you. It sucks and I hate it, but I'd rather look at long-term, than be a smug git about who follows my values at the sacrifice of something that I deem important or useful y'know?
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I'm personally an Atheist, but I do have to admit that I do think that supernatural forces have some sort of effect on our lives. I can't believe in gods or whatever the fuck, but I still believe that there is certain forces out there that control out very thoughts in a way. When I was a teenaged lad, I looked up certain occult sites (but mostly that piece of shit place called Joys of Satan) and thought that what that crazy chick said was real. I was also really into Black Metal at the time, and I got linked to that site whenever I was listening to some Black Metal band that had themes of national socialism and shit like that. Then I grew disinterested of the place, but it was a pretty funny time, I guess.
That being said, I never really aligned myself to the devil, or really practice the occult rituals that that place had. I just kind of read that site a lot, while listening to some heavy metal. Which helped out my imagination land a bit. I think the major reason why I didn't practice, and got into it even more. Is because I didn't really have the resources to do all that much. I really did believe in what they had to say, but I didn't really put much effort into it. Oh well, now I know that the chick there is crazy, and that she was actually some sort of nazi who was corrupting the ideology of Satanism. (such as not following someone's word all the time). I guess I don't really hear the other side very often, until it's too late. Oh wells. If I do get out of my house, I might get into that sort of thing again.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Hmm....War? I personally think it's something that is rather unavoidable. It's not a very good thing, (What with the death and all) but I certainly think that it's fairly useful. After all, all sorts of innovative achievements that humans get is because of the fact that they are competing with each other to annihilate their enemy. I do think that, in the right circumstances that war is rather justified, such as the Israeli-Palestine war. I personally think that Israel is in the wrong, they shouldn't have taken Palestine at all. I don't really understand why all of the Jews have to be in Palestine in the first place, but "because it's our holy land" is not a valid reason for them to be there. That being said, you can't exactly change the past, and even if the Israelis apologize and try to welcome the Palestinians. The cut of blood, and the history they have with each other. The wounds that each side has inflicted on each other is too deep, and I'm afraid that peace isn't going to be something they can do.
I think that we should fund our militaries, but on the other hand I don't think it should be the Number One priority of a nation. Using America as an example, we have a very bad reputation of expanding our military power to the rest of the world, while ignoring the needs of the people who live inside of this land. Our nation has poor health care, it's not a very good place to be in, if you don't have a lot of money. The rich are way richer then they need to be, whenever all of that money they are hording could be used to go somewhere else. It's not even all of the rich people, but a good chunk of them are just con artists who should be behind a jail cell. This place is an Plutocracy, a land where money rules. It's that way in other places for all of time, but I think America should be doing a lot better about this.
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Long conversations? Well I don't really have those a lot. Particularly in real life. Most of the time I typically just like to fuck around with people, and have fun. I think the longest conversation I had was with this Asian chick I knew on skype for about 8 hours or so. It mostly involved Roleplaying, MMOs (Which I don't really play), and simply just throwing ideas at each other. Really, I'd rather do something then just talk about something to be honest.
As for my interests? Well I've got to admit, my interests are rather shallow in a way, but I do enjoy playing numerous video games. Of the computer, console and flash variety. I've just played flash games though, because I'm pretty worried about money. I tend to deny myself pleasure if that means saving up on the cash, because I don't want to cause my family any trouble, and because I don't want to regret paying for something, for a quick taste of something that I wouldn't really like anyways. That being said, I've been trying to get into reading, though I don't really like fictional books very much to be honest. I always though they were rather boring, I'd rather read something informative than something that exists for pure entertainment value. That is why I like to watch documentaries on...well anything really.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Not really. I've been trying to lose the weight that I've gained, but it's been a slow climb downwards. I tend to snack on things whenever I shouldn't, so that's always a bitch.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
They are boring, and I hate doing them. The only daily chore that I do is cleaning out my desk area, but that's just because I don't like clutter around it. Still, I'll do it if I have to do it.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Alright, seeing as this recent manga that I've read is something that I've enjoyed. It's English name is Attack on Titan, but Shingeki no Kyojin is the Japanese name. It's a pretty awesome and thrilling experience, and it's really, really dark and bleak as all hell. it's something that I enjoy, because of the general tone is just really done well. At least that's what I got from it. I grim dark settings in a rather non ironic way y'know? Like Fist of the North Star, Warhammer 40k and all sorts of places and shit.
To be honest, I don't really read much. I never really found books to be that interesting really, I'd rather read a history book then some cheesy Fantasy tale or whatever. I'd rather just create my own little world and shit. Y'know? That's why I don't really read or watch much media. I do like to go around on internet sites and catch up on the news though.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I've got to admit this, but I can be pretty violent sometimes. Whenever I generally get too far with the rough housing, I can injure someone that I didn't really intend to, and sometimes I just lose control of myself and end up doing something really violent that I shouldn't have. It sucks, but I've got more control of that from now on. I guess I tend to cry whenever someone is being hurt, after I realize the fact that I've done something wrong or whatever. I try to fancy myself as some cold-hearted man, but I'm not that cold. I'm not cold as ice. I do get teary eyed whenever I see something that amazes me in an emotional way. Even if it's through laughing too hard. So there is that.
As for what makes me smile? I smile whenever something something I find is funny, I am amused by something or whatever. I also tend to smile when the mood is all good I guess. It tends to wain after a while, and I need to retreat, but everything else is all good.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
A sense of belonging I guess. I don't really "get" with the environment, if that's what you are trying to get at. I mean, I like to be understood and all, but I don't really get what this is trying to ask me.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
My weaknesses? Well I think I come off as a rather dickish person at times, and I can come off strongly as well. I tend to make some rather...offensive jokes sometimes, so the people around me can be rather offended. I think this is because I generally like it when everyone is participating on the same thing, I just think that people who want to do something else, should just fuck off and do something else. I also think that I tend to be rather open about my...self-loathing tendencies, so I fear that I annoy people with that. I can also just randomly stop talking to the person, because I think that they don't really want to be around me, and I'm fairly easily distracted.
As for what I don't like about my self? Well I don't really like the fact that I don't have any sort of willpower at all. It sucks, that I can't really be into anything y'know? I also tend to be rather flaky and I don't finish things off. I just get bored of it, and I just go read how something ends if it's boring to me. I'm prone to just...inertia in general, and it's pretty hard to get me to do something for once. I'm also not very reliable whenever it comes to...well anything. I just get kind of confused about shit, and it's like hey.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
My strengths? Well most people seem to compliment me on my intelligence, if nothing else. Outside of that, I don't really know about that. I don't really have many strengths really. My father also told me that I was a visionary of sorts, though no one else thinks of me like that. I'm rather in the dark with how people look at me.
What I like about myself? Well...I'd like to think of myself as creative, and it's something that I can do. I think that I can be fairly witty at times too, and funny at times too. Granted it depends on the person, but eh.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
What I'd like help in...Well. I'd certainly like it, if someone would just go kick my ass so that I could actually do something for once. I wouldn't mind to do the things that I find to be scary, if someone was around to help me through it. It's weak as hell though.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yeah, I tend to get stuck in ruts all the time. I am usually in my head, so I can be kind of "out of it" a lot of the times. That's why I tend tend to block off certain points, because I'm just in imagination land and shit. I also find it hard to be interested in new things as well, but whatever. Inertia is certainly one of my weak points though. That is why I think I'm an Ixxp in socionics.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I typically like it if someone is a witty, funny person. As well as people who are magnetic and have a certain kind of energy to them. That's why I like people who are "dominant", and shit. People who are inspiring leaders are people that I like as well, and as such, I tend to find people who have the traits of high willpower, magnetism and all around kick-ass people to be awesome. As for people who I don't like? Well I don't really like people who just kind of talk about the things they did and shit, and I admit. That while I am an Introvert, I don't really like people are don't really do anything for the group. It's not that I mind people who are to themselves, but you should at least be able to keep up with a conversation and try to be engaged in it. On the other hand, sometimes I find them cute, and I like to harass them a bit. Get a little touchy feely at times as well.
I don't really like people who are judgmental pricks about the behaviors of other people. I have a pretty "live and let live" philosophy when I deal with people, but I really hate it when people go around telling people that they shouldn't be doing something, because it's the "bad" thing to do. I understand wanting to correct the errors that other people have, but god dammit does it piss me off when people just go on some sort of judgmental tirade and shit. You aren't better than everyone else, because you live by a set of arbitrary rules. So fuck off. Shit, I even do this myself sometimes, whenever I am really angry. I just go on a tirade and shit. It's annoying and I should knock that shit off, but I do like seeing the reactions that people have. So I "play" that to mess with people. It's paradoxical, I hate elitists, but I act like one sometimes as well.
Strangely enough I think that I am only annoyed by elitism whenever it's not really justified, whenever you are actually a kickass person, then I actually like a bit of confidence. It's like hey man, you are actually really cool. So I don't mind confidence whenever it's from someone who actually proven their worth.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
What qualities I want from a partner? I admit, that I would like to have someone who is self-confident, can do things by themselves, and someone who can just carry the conversation around a bit. That's why I tend to imagine my dream-partner as some sort of badass who can kick ass, while at the same time is also not full of themselves as well. I can be pretty bad whenever it comes to keeping a conversation going, so it's nice to have someone who can just talk about they do and shit. I can space out a bit, but I do like to exchange dialogue though. Let's have our peace and let each other talk.
As for sex? Well I'm up for whatever the fuck. Why not? I'd do anything that doesn't involve things going inside of my urethra. Then that's just fucking insane and nasty. I typically just fap to normal stuff though, though I tend to be more rough in er...Internet Sexual Rolelays...(Aka cybering... How Embarrassing and weak of me.)
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
If I raised a child? Well...I honestly don't know what the fuck I'd do with one. I don't want to raise a kid though, that would just suck all sorts of life from me. So no, I am not going to raise a kid, no matter what.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Well, I'd just tell them off. My inward and outward reaction would be the same if we were on a leveled playing field, I'd just argue with them, and tell them how they are wrong about it. If the person has more power than me though, then I tend to be a bit more careful and passive aggressive about it. I do have a sense of survival after all, I'm not an idiot who would just mouth off anyone.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I've always been detached from society. I don't really see people as bad, in fact I typically think that most people are pretty good in a way. Foolish, and not very good at dealing things on a collective level though. On the other hand, I'm also like that, so it's hypocrisy to just look down at others, whenever I am below everyone else.
As for a social problem? This is going to be cheesy and hypocritical as fuck, but I honestly think that people should get their heads off of their asses and help one another. Try to look at the real issues (such as class problems) and stop trying to bring others down because they just happen to belong to some sort of idiotic group like sexuality, skin color or nationality. I've been a libertarian for about 5 or 6 years, and it was a rather embarrassing time for me, thinking that all of these problems could be solved if people did their own thing, and tried to improve their own lives. However, I was wrong. It's actually the opposite of that, I don't support collectivism, but America is an overly individualistic country.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
Hmm...I guess if I am around them for a while, then that means that we are friends. I mean why not? I don't really monitor how I behave around friends, but I am pretty open with them. Everything's cool and we exchange information and the like.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
I don't know? I'd just treat them as I treat anyone else I guess. I tend to be a rather welcoming person, if a little guarded a bit, but that's just introversion though. I don't mind strangers, and I'll talk with them. If it's in a group, then I tend to be more open though.