Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Female INTj relationships?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Female INTj relationships?

    Hey all! My name's Savannah and I'm a 19 year old college student. I've recently become interested in all of this and discovered that I'm an INTJ, which I suppose is rare for females. I've loved reading about others like me in order to better understand why I've always functioned the way I have. I used to think something was wrong with me since I was so terrible at relationships-- particularly female friendships, although also definitely romantic relationships. It takes a very special type of person to really connect with me and be able to sustain any type of long term relationship. I can be brash, unsympathetic, and frankly a bit socially clueless at times. My best friend now (who is female, I believe she's an ENFP but I'm not entirely sure) affectionately refers to me as a "female tool".
    When it comes to dating,etc, I'm really quite a bit inept. Men are put off by my brutal honesty and inability to flirt or make small talk. I'm horrible at knowing what to say, find cheesy compliments and other traditional flirtatious rituals sickening and annoying, and generally fail at giving any impression of interest in someone at first. It takes a persistent guy to get me to even make time to talk or hang out. I also happen to be very passionate about my sport (I'm training in Mixed Martial Arts), and while that earns me a lot of male friends it can certainly deter a lot of would-be suitors.
    I'd just be really interested in hearing stories from other INTJ females or people who are/have been close to an INTJ girl. What problems have you encountered in your various relationships? I've read that we're easily misunderstood, so how have you overcome the initial impressions in order to really connect with others? Or for those who know/are close to an INTJ female, what is it that you like or dislike about them, wish they could do better in the relationship, etc? Any thoughts would be valuable to my research on the subject. Thanks for reading and I look forward to the responses!

  2. #2
    Local Hero Saberstorm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Isle of Man
    TIM
    Robespierre
    Posts
    2,064
    Mentioned
    56 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    This is not Meyers Briggs. The personality codes are different.

    Are you a LII which is also called INTj - note the lower case j, or are you an ILI, which is also called an INTp - note the lower case p??????LII's are Ti dominate, Ne creative. ILIs are Ni dominate, Te creative. Neither the LII nor ILI are direct analogs to the Meyers Briggs INTP/INTJ. The LII and ILI share mixed traits of the INTP/INTJs.

    Let me sort this out for you. 1) Are you more inhibited when meeting new people in so far as giving an excess amount of space and privacy to them, - in that you fear disturbing them or messing up their lives because you spoke to them? Is this feeling combined with a strong sense of alienation from people, but you have a desire to come out of your shell if you thought people were actually interested in you? or is it 2) you wince at people's trivial thoughts and ideas - you despise their enthusiasm and wish everything was more low key and focused on things more grave than mere chitchat. Is this feeling combined with a desire to obtain a certain kind of prestige that would allow you to more strongly influence others?
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
    - John Piper


    Socionics -
    the16types.info

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I am more of the second one. I believe I've tested as an INTj.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    LII, I think? Sorry for the confusion.

  5. #5
    FoxOnStilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    TN
    TIM
    Fi-SLE 3w9 so/sp
    Posts
    780
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think you should open the floor to anyone talking about any INTj rather than segregating by gender. They're the same type; one just has a cock.

  6. #6
    InvisibleJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Si vis pacem
    TIM
    para bellum
    Posts
    4,832
    Mentioned
    202 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    I think you should open the floor to anyone talking about any INTj rather than segregating by gender. They're the same type; one just has a cock.
    Why can't female INTjs can't have cocks too? Why you gotta be so sexist foxy?

  7. #7
    lump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    Fi/Te 641 sp/sx
    Posts
    12,628
    Mentioned
    635 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    you should also put more space between your paragraph to make reading easier.

    once you've met all of our specifications someone may be along shortly to help you with your question.

  8. #8
    Esaman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    878
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by savannahlu View Post
    unsympathetic
    generally fail at giving any impression of interest in someone at first.
    Factor it in to your expectations that it is no ones job to deal with the above.

    Quote Originally Posted by savannahlu View Post
    how have you overcome the initial impressions in order to really connect with others?
    Take the chances to befriend new people until you find some that will be fitting for you to be actively engaged in to conversations and fun. Stick with them and surrounding people will also see that you can be something else than standoffish.

  9. #9
    FoxOnStilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    TN
    TIM
    Fi-SLE 3w9 so/sp
    Posts
    780
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Why can't female INTjs can't have cocks too? Why you gotta be so sexist foxy?
    QQ.

    My mother is ILI-Te, and I wouldn't doubt she has a cock.

  10. #10
    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Mind
    Posts
    7,966
    Mentioned
    568 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    What kind of food do you like? Also what MMA do you do?

  11. #11
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by savannahlu View Post
    Hey all! My name's Savannah and I'm a 19 year old college student. I've recently become interested in all of this and discovered that I'm an INTJ, which I suppose is rare for females. I've loved reading about others like me in order to better understand why I've always functioned the way I have. I used to think something was wrong with me since I was so terrible at relationships-- particularly female friendships, although also definitely romantic relationships. It takes a very special type of person to really connect with me and be able to sustain any type of long term relationship. I can be brash, unsympathetic, and frankly a bit socially clueless at times. My best friend now (who is female, I believe she's an ENFP but I'm not entirely sure) affectionately refers to me as a "female tool".
    When it comes to dating,etc, I'm really quite a bit inept. Men are put off by my brutal honesty and inability to flirt or make small talk. I'm horrible at knowing what to say, find cheesy compliments and other traditional flirtatious rituals sickening and annoying, and generally fail at giving any impression of interest in someone at first. It takes a persistent guy to get me to even make time to talk or hang out. I also happen to be very passionate about my sport (I'm training in Mixed Martial Arts), and while that earns me a lot of male friends it can certainly deter a lot of would-be suitors.
    I'd just be really interested in hearing stories from other INTJ females or people who are/have been close to an INTJ girl. What problems have you encountered in your various relationships? I've read that we're easily misunderstood, so how have you overcome the initial impressions in order to really connect with others? Or for those who know/are close to an INTJ female, what is it that you like or dislike about them, wish they could do better in the relationship, etc? Any thoughts would be valuable to my research on the subject. Thanks for reading and I look forward to the responses!
    By the way you describe yourself it sounds more ILI than LII. LIIs have weak Fe but they value it and try to create it whenever possible. ILIs in the other hand do not value Fe and are also very unaware of it in general. Weak Fe makes an ILI rather clueless about what other people is thinking or feeling and this causes them to be unable to connect with them. Also you mention that your best friend is IEE; IEE and ILI have much more compatibility between them than LII and IEE.

    If it's true that you're an ILI, then you should be aware that you have a natural tendency of see yourself as a hopeless victim and exagerate your issues. Meaningful relationships are difficult to attain for everyone regardless of type. It requieres dedication, will to sacrifice individuality, etc. All of that is type neutral.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  12. #12
    InvisibleJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Si vis pacem
    TIM
    para bellum
    Posts
    4,832
    Mentioned
    202 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    By the way you describe yourself it sounds more ILI than LII. LIIs have weak Fe but they value it and try to create it whenever possible. ILIs in the other hand do not value Fe and are also very unaware of it in general. Weak Fe makes an ILI rather clueless about what other people is thinking or feeling and this causes them to be unable to connect with them. Also you mention that your best friend is IEE; IEE and ILI have much more compatibility between them than LII and IEE.

    If it's true that you're an ILI, then you should be aware that you have a natural tendency of see yourself as a hopeless victim and exagerate your issues. Meaningful relationships are difficult to attain for everyone regardless of type. It requieres dedication, will to sacrifice individuality, etc. All of that is type neutral.
    This type of concise and diligent socionics has no place on this forum. Maritsa be praised! Our Lady Maritsa!!!(eleventy one) Burn the heretics.

  13. #13
    Marshmallow Foru-m chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    At the
    TIM
    Puca
    Posts
    1,458
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    *sigh* @InvisibleJim and @FoxOnStilts

    If you want to see it, just say so ...


    ffs
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts.

  14. #14
    tejing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    California
    TIM
    LII-H
    Posts
    166
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Make sure you understand that socionics types only somewhat correlate to myers-briggs types, and that the underlying theory is very different, so that correlation may be seen as largely coincidental. Generally the T/F and N/S dichotomies line up with myers-briggs pretty well, but I wouldn't bet on the others. The MMA is odd for both LII and ILI though, as that activity would usually depend on the strength and value of the Se IM element, so it's worth looking at ILE and LIE (particularly LIE I think; the motivating function often goes with a favored activity/hobby in my experience).
    Valued | Devalued
    < | < | Conscious
    < | < | Unconscious

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •