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Thread: type & attraction

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    Default type & attraction

    are the people you're drawn to pretty typically like your duals?
    not necessarily your duals per se since i don't expect everybody types everybody they meet. but just in broad strokes. if your dual is EP are you drawn to energetic people, if your dual is Ni are you drawn to dreamy people, etc.

    for those with opinions who feel like answering: per theory SHOULD you be most attracted to those types?

    i leik introverts. and chill Ip type people (the ones who mind their own business but are open & not thrown off when you talk to them)

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    The people that I've been most attracted to have been EIEs, IEI's, LSE's and SLI's.

    But I would say the intensity of attraction was greatest for EIE's. Each of these individuals contained a quality that made me attracted to them that I believe I am searching for. These are also all Dynamic types.

    Because all dynamic types have your dual's functions within their conscious block, I think it provides them the ability to imitate your dual or a aspect of your dual.

    But there are a lot of factors that determine what one is attracted to, and I don't think there is a general prescription for this. I am myself somewhat introverted socially so I do look for socially capable people, and I find socially capable individuals to be interesting and helpful. As such I find egos to be most attractive. I also like caring and sensual people which explains my gravitation towards egos. This is all sort of outside of socionics but it does help to explain why I have these preferences.

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    I'm attracted to sane ones, first and foremost.

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    I tend to be attracted to non-aggressive/calm people who are confident/relaxed about their physicality and are able to make me relax, too. These people tend to be Si creatives, though not nearly all Si creatives are like that. I'm super awkward about bodies and touching in general (I guess this goes back to my childhood, I've never even hugged my family members etc) so people who can take control and initiate it without making me threatened are pretty amazing. It takes time but I can be more physically affectionate than a Thai hooker after I've gotten past the critical stage. Sadly I've only met maybe five or six of these folks during my entire lifetime. I generally find it hard to click with Fe egos on the emotional/mental side + most ESEs bore me anyway so that leaves LSE as the only type I typically fall for..

    It's different with women though - I'm able to easily find attractive individuals from almost anywhere, and they can be very different from each other in both looks and personalities. Maybe this is because my lifestyle is straight so I don't judge them as potential partners. And of course, unlike men, they're damn beautiful creatures so it's hard not to admire their beauty and grace.
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    Eh. I like people who are quirky and/or extremely intelligent. I like people who are devil-may-care; on the other hand, I find rigid nerdy men to be extremely endearing as well.
    Charm and ludicrousness are quite attractive.
    I like intuitive logicals-- I totally understand the attraction to certain awkward melancholic ILI's.
    Sometimes I like SLI men because I approve of their personal style/clothing choices.
    I like my men more "pretty" than "manly" in looks.
    Historically I have been attracted to long-haired men who look like Jesus (Ne-leading?)
    There's probably more...

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    I'm drawn to people who have a feel of relaxed purpose. They have hobbies and interests they pursue without needing someone to push them. Hobbies and interests which aren't limited to video games and tv, that is. Basically, something that keeps them mentally/creatively engaged rather than passive lumps.

    I also prefer people who like, though not neccesarily initiate, physical nonsexual contact.
    And someone who won't require a large amount of my focus/attention. I want to share lives, but not make each other the center of the other's life.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    I'm drawn to people who lack emotion. I can't stand it when people become overly-emotional.
    It may be linked to my childhood; my dad was an overly-emo ESTp and he scared the shit out of me as a child. I've also read that ISTPs don't like emotional people.
    If I really like and understand someone, I don't mind if they become somewhat emotional (in fact, I need that emotional connection). But I think when people get carried away with emotion, really scary shit can (and does) happen, so I think I fear it, in general.

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    [QUOTE=lemontrees;942095]
    Historically I have been attracted to long-haired men who look like Jesus (Ne-leading?)


    you must be real old.

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    i seem to be exclusively attracted to ST types. i don't know why. all my crushes have been somewhere around ISTx > ESTx.

    the quiet brooding confidence, the inflexibility and slightly dopey response time and what not, the calculated dignity. :0 <3

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    I think I've made it fairly clear over the course of many a list and photo spam what kind of person I'm attracted to. Such people are generally more Delta ST than not. Ditto to what Radio says about the quiet brooding confidence etc,stoicism can be very alluring to me in a person; although that's certainly not indicative of *every* ST I've met. Several SLIs I've known have turned out to be just as childish as any other type, although that could be just as matter of overall maturity levels due to age. Apparently most people my age aren't good matches for me :|

    I also find myself attracted to ILIs on a somewhat consistent basis compared to other types, at least the Te-subs. Semi-duality with SEIs can be very hit-or-miss, I often end up friend-zoning them immediately. So this probably means with subtypes taken into account, ILIs are closer to semi-duals than SEIs for me.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    I'm drawn to boobs and brains
    Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.

    ENFp - Fi 7w6 sp/sx
    The Ineffable IEI
    The Einstein ENTp

    johari nohari
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    My socionics history of relationships goes as follows:

    ENTp
    ESTj (likely type)
    ESTp (probable)
    ENFp (! probable)
    ESTj
    INTj
    ENFj
    IXXj (iffy on type)
    ESTj
    ESTp
    ISTj

    Boldfacing means that on balance I would say those relationships were beneficial to me, regardless of the ways in which they might have sucked.

    Just attractions most often have been to an ST type. IP temperament and IXFx do not attract me. IPs and IFs have always gotten friend-zoned. Some of those have been / remain very good friends.

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    I have mostly enjoyed the company of IEEs.

    The occasional SLE, LIE and IEE have also featured.

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    Yes, I generally liked IJ girls of some kind, even though some of them are kinda too pious/plain (maybe a 30%). My friends are also often IJ types, and identicals. I also have liked a number of ENFps but I think there's usually a lack of "spark" between us, at least after a while.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    I have mostly enjoyed the company of IEEs.

    The occasional SLE, LIE and IEE have also featured.
    mostly iees with the occasional iee?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    mostly iees with the occasional iee?
    Indeed! With a side portion of IEE.

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    In Order of likelihood -

    Identicals - I know how far i can throw them, and i trust them that much. Charming. Smart. Good Hearts. Self-Deception can be an issue, but im versed enough in this area to mitigate theirs.
    Mirage - Alot of bouncing back and forth. Reflecting Ideas. Disappointment is rare, because not much is expected from each other.
    Semi-Dual - Trust takes precadence in place of agreement. Sometimes interaction just makes you wonder if they are idiots. Like, you cant really believe what you're saying. Can be very Self-Absorbed, and cognitively dissonant of their bad qualities.
    Dual - Trust is usually an issue. Selfish qualities galore. But stimulating and i usually agree with them. Able to "ride the wave".

    The Greatest of friends have all been STP's, followed by ISTJ's, and Alpha NT
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    are the people you're drawn to pretty typically like your duals?
    not necessarily your duals per se since i don't expect everybody types everybody they meet. but just in broad strokes. if your dual is EP are you drawn to energetic people, if your dual is Ni are you drawn to dreamy people, etc.

    for those with opinions who feel like answering: per theory SHOULD you be most attracted to those types?
    It depends on what you imply by the word "SHOULD." If "should" as in obligation, assuming that a person is psychologically optimized when dualized and seeks this condition, then yes. If "should" as a theoritical outcome dependency, then no, since attraction is based on physical (biological factors) and emotional (based on a person's convictions), that may not align a person to their dual.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
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    I seem to have a history of being highly attracted to my semi-duals.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    It depends on what you imply by the word "SHOULD." If "should" as in obligation, assuming that a person is psychologically optimized when dualized and seeks this condition, then yes. If "should" as a theoritical outcome dependency, then no, since attraction is based on physical (biological factors) and emotional (based on a person's convictions), that may not align a person to their dual.
    its just a big blinking light when i look at the theory and how i'm pretty fucking introverted but i've dated and chosen for friends other introverts almost exclusively. *IF* there were anything to the theory then my behavior would be counter to my psychological well being. but.. i leik introverts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    its just a big blinking light when i look at the theory and how i'm pretty fucking introverted but i've dated and chosen for friends other introverts almost exclusively. *IF* there were anything to the theory then my behavior would be counter to my psychological well being. but.. i leik introverts.
    Well, how is your psychological well being at the moment?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well, how is your psychological well being at the moment?
    lmfao. well this certainly makes things simple.

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    I'm attracted to intelligent, quirky, lively.Usually NT.

    I like men who catch on quickly to any joke- where it doesn't have to be drawn out or explained to them. People who are able to come to their own conclusions and see the bigger picture.

    I tend to have a magnetic approach to SeTi types-- but where we repel each other rather quickly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    its just a big blinking light when i look at the theory and how i'm pretty fucking introverted but i've dated and chosen for friends other introverts almost exclusively. *IF* there were anything to the theory then my behavior would be counter to my psychological well being. but.. i leik introverts.
    Perhaps the theory is wrong?

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Perhaps the theory is wrong?
    say whattttttttttttttt

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    say whattttttttttttttt
    whattttttttttttttt

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    guy wise (and sorry to say for the 32432479327th time but im more into guys than girls =p) im drawn to guys who can be both affectionate and jocky/manly/stereotypically masculine at the same time.

    girl wise, and again sorry to be up dolphin's butthole again for the 352347232493th time, but really even before I met dolphin , i would find girls like dolphin kinda sexy and would wonder. im only about 5-10% straight realistically but when im feeling straight, its girls like dolphin (and cythera the porn star whose eyes remind me of dolphin's) i would want to fuck. i would also prefer if they were blonde or redhead, as brunettes kinda remind me of my sister too much. (sorry if thats weird)

    im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin fim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphinim gay and i love dolphin im gay and i love dolphin

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    I'm really attracted to calm people. I think if there were anything I'd look for in a friend or romantic partner, it's probably that. My nerves get so frazzled around people who are chaotic and all over the place. I can't be around that. Maturity. Genuine kindness and non-phoney individuals. Common sense, do it yourself, independent people with a good sense of humor but who don't push it on you. People you don't have to always be "on" around. Socionically speaking, I'm really attracted to Si, obviously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    since attraction is based on physical (biological factors) and emotional (based on a person's convictions), that may not align a person to their dual.
    That means people should pluck their eyes out? If so, that could work and they just could go by the sense of smell.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    I'm attracted to sane ones, first and foremost.
    Well put!

    I absolutely love other Idealists (NFs), but find that we never follow through on our plans, which is frustrating. There are only a few in which we can both dream big and follow through on plans. (My apologies- I'm still learning socionics, and am still stuck in MBTI world in the meantime).

    But I love bringing out the fun side of the more Introverted, LSI types. It's like a reward, cracking a smile out of them! Totally ignites my engines, although I've always been drawn to the quiet one in the group.

    "HELLO! What's going on in that brain of yours?" *tap tap tap!*

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    Logical types. It's always been so, when I got to know socionics I just got a category for it.
    I can make great friends with ethical types but that's an entirely different kind of attraction. Friend zoned.

    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    I tend to be attracted to non-aggressive/calm people who are confident/relaxed about their physicality and are able to make me relax, too.
    Here, I think you've just defined the most powerful magnet there is.
    I call myself batyote and I fight crime at night.

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    I am drawn to intelligent women and women who have bigger interrests in some fields. Persons who have no interests appear dull to me . I am looking for a partner to have good conversations.

    Sorted by temparament i am probably most attracted by Ep or Ej and least attracted to Ij.

    Of course looks also plays a role but i don't have a certain type either i feel phisical attracted or not. but by getting to know someone better a person can also start to look better to me

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    Quote Originally Posted by applejacks View Post
    But I love bringing out the fun side of the more Introverted, LSI types. It's like a reward, cracking a smile out of them! Totally ignites my engines, although I've always been drawn to the quiet one in the group.
    Death to disco and beta.

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    What's great about socionics is it's predictability factor, it gets it right sometimes (but even a broken clock manages that twice a day).

    You get lazy Ep as well as energetic ones.

    As a form of relationship predictability, Ashura nailed it on the head, as someone who fits a particular stereotype of weak Fi, she's gonna think a simple theory can explain the intricacies. A better idea is that people get on when they have things in common.

    I wonder if she was Aspergers, sometimes I really do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by malna View Post
    Logical types. It's always been so, when I got to know socionics I just got a category for it.
    I can make great friends with ethical types but that's an entirely different kind of attraction. Friend zoned.


    Here, I think you've just defined the most powerful magnet there is.
    You're in that stage, when you move on you'll realise socionics is pretty dim, just like your "mirror" Rick.

    Well, supposing you reach a stage in your life when you are not the confused "F" type, then you are the rational know most things about your environ T type, you might be attracted to something else.

    And then you forget about the layers of socionics, you're preferred partner changes because things, you and people change!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Stop trolling her.
    Ah, you again, trying to do the 'right' thing while completely misconstruing what is really going on, keep trolling William, never learn! (lucky I bothered giving you the time of day, whilst you ignore a very valid point).

    Oh, and anyway, give orders to someone else, what's your plan if I continue quoting whom I choose anyway really?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    My nerves get so frazzled around people who are chaotic and all over the place. I can't be around that.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    On topic, I'm attracted to people who can withstand my intensity and not challenge it. When I'm being very impulsive and overbearing, people who can laugh at me and help me see how ridiculous I'm being. Usually this is Ne types. Specifically Se POLR, both INTj & INFj.

    People who can hold interesting conversations and offer different viewpoints, also Ne.

    Also, it's important for me to respect the person so I can love them. It's hard for me to love someone I can't respect. Not sure that this translates directly into socionics. Usually having a goal or a purpose in life that is honorable, something that somebody is working towards and pursuing, is incredibly attractive.

    Special, intimate moments. Reassuring, simple communication that someone loves me. Honesty, devotion, loyalty. All those things warm my heart, really calm me down, and bring out the romantic side of me.
    You don't need Ne to see different viewpoints, also interesting conversations = Ne is ridiculous.

    Last part, nothing to do with Fi specifically.

    Also, don't need to be Se PoLR to see you are ridiculous.

    This is on topic, but sadly obvious and i'm stating it!

    OK let's say you are right, please show me anything in Jungs or Ashuras definition of functions which supports your view, there's none, it's (in socioinic terms since you like it so much) an attempt at Ti - - -- - -Ti valuing.

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