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Thread: Guides for dual pairs: attracting an ISFj-ESI

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    silke's Avatar
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    Default Guides for dual pairs: attracting an ISFj-ESI

    Translated from the instruction for dual pairs series (original thread).
    Written by Margie, type ESI.

    ++added: see also Duality observations



    "I remember someone requested instructions about Dreiser...

    How to get Dreiser.
    Preface.
    First, think – do you need this? It is only at first glance that Dreiser seems gentle and good-natured. Do you need to be fed (with what she sees as fit) taken care of (the way she sees it fit) and taught how to live? If not, then it's better to not initiate anything. Maybe she will leave in the end, but you'll feel yourself the last bastard for at least six months.

    Chapter one. "Hi girl, may we get acquainted?" - "You may. Begin."
    Becoming acquainted with an ESI is easy. Usually it's enough to demonstrate your interest. No, not in her. In getting to know her. In response to any interest shown in her ("hey, what are you reading? do you like it?"), and other imposing questions, an inadequate reaction could follow. In general, fewer questions. Better tell something interesting yourself.
    Any questions are best formulated in the form of ideas or proposals: "I will escort you out. Do you mind?"
    Relax. If she doesn't like something, she will let you know.

    Chapter Two. Flirting or the club?
    Two of the most common ways to direct relations into a more intimate course – flirting and pressuring – here can lead to unexpected results.
    No, Dreiser will willingly flirt ... and only flirt. No guarantee that this will lead to anything else. The same with pressuring. Rude pressure will be perceived as an assault, polite – as a game.
    This means that you will be trying to seduce Dreiser, and she, with pleasure participating in this activity, will not become seduced. The activity itself is more interesting than the outcome (if the end outcome is more interesting, Drayka will seduce you herself).
    However, the "distraction" method works well on her: "I read to the beloved selected chapters from the course of differential geometry". Dreiser will be taken in by an interesting story, and relax ... here she can be taken warm. Or you.

    Chapter Three. Financial matters.
    Dreisers very much appreciate efforts and attention that were spent on them. Only they appreciate not the absolute, but the relative quantity. They are well capable of determining how much effort you have invested.
    Meaning, if you are a millionaire, an expensive gift will leave her indifferent (another matter, if you are a poor student). But if you have managed to find an hour in your busy schedule to spend this time with her ...
    If you have good imagination and conventional courting is not in your style, the most original gift will not make an impression as much as doing something traditional (and, conversely, if you are more traditional, rely on your imagination). In short, do something that you wouldn't naturally do, for her beautiful eyes.

    Chapter Four. Overview.
    An important sign that you are considered to be "her own" is an invitation to her home. If you're persistently not being invited over (and you know that she has a place), your chances are getting progressively smaller. To seduce an ESI on a foreign territory is much more difficult.
    But don't consider an invitation to her home as an invite for something more. It's much safer to interpret what she says literally. If you are asked to "go have a cup of coffee" – what was meant is a cup and some coffee.
    And along the way, it is being evaluated how decent of person you are, will you let your hands loose.
    Don't let them loose. Wait at least until a third visit.
    Better volunteer to spend the night (ideally in the same bed with her) and don't do anything.

    Chapter Five. And so, how?
    How to make an inappropriate (or any other) offer?
    There are two options. First – don't make one. Simply in the process of relaxed and informal conversation take her by the hand. If the hand wasn't taken away – you can proceed further.
    Gradually, slowly (better spend a few meetings on this), but not a step back. That is, if during the last meeting something was allowed to you, then on this meeting continue with it in a matter of a fact way.
    Second method: try to inspire her to something, playing on the fact that deep down in her soul ESI fears missing out on an opportunity.
    Meaning, calmly present your proposal formulating it as an idea: "Today I'm going to stay over at your place (tomorrow we're going to submit the application, climb the Mount Everest, etc. fill in the blank as appropriate). Do you mind or should I leave?" If she really doesn't mind – she will agree. Because otherwise you'll leave ...
    No blackmail. Especially emotional. If Dreiser notices or even suspects that you have discovered this weakness of hers, any relationship will be out of the question.

    Chapter Six. A brief dictionary
    If Drayka says "maybe", this means "yes, but not now." She was happy with everything, but she needs to think. Explain to her that "what's there to think about – simply jump".
    If Drayka says "no", it means that "under the current circumstances – no". Change the circumstances. In general, do something, anything – it will be appreciated.
    If the verdict is final and not subject to an appeal, Drayka will certainly explain why the "no".


    Written by Misha Morozov in 2000 (different poster from the above, type unknown):

    "Seduction of Dreiser is akin to rolling barrels of sand up the top of a mountain. The higher you get – the more difficult it becomes. The stronger you push, the more resistance you're met with. Only strong extroverts with good follow-through can normally seduce a Dreiser. Dreiser does not allow to get frivolous with her, will not allow herself to get groped while dancing, will become offended at overly sexual hints. This makes the task of seduction all the more difficult. If Eve was Dreiser, Adam would still be living in paradise and masturbating. You can feed Dreiser with however many "forbidden fruits", from this she will close off even more and become defensive. Those who are accustomed to seducing girls with touch and sweet words will need to learn new tactics. The only way to fuck Dreiser is to relax her as much as possible. You will have to become a eunuch for the time being and desist with any advances. Remember that any playful touches and slippery hints immediately erect a wall between you, breaking which will be very hard. The script for seducing Dreiser goes something like this:

    1. You need to make friends with her. Become a real friend, whom she trusts (this is opposite to the tactic of seduction of Huxley (IEE), with whom becoming friends should not be done under any circumstances). Dreiser should trust you as much as herself and not be afraid of any sexual advances on your part. Escort her home from school, carry the bags for her, drive her to work, try to comfort her after a quarrel with her husband and generally behave as her companion.

    2. Invite her over to your house and make her stay the night. In the mean time, don't make any hasty steps. Suppress your libido and actually go to sleep. Remember that it is in the evening that Dreiser is most set to provide resistance and ready to give her strongest rebuff. You may even lie in the same bed, but this does not mean that she is ready to give herself to you. It simply means that she trusts you enough to lie in same bed. Make sure that in the morning you don't have to hurry to be anywhere. It is likely that you will spend in bed the entire next day.

    3. In the morning you will realize that you have reached a new level of confidence with Dreiser. Perhaps she will even let you stroke her through drowsiness and morning bliss. Don't miss the moment – caress her gently and tenderly. No rough grabbing of breasts, no greedy hugs and groping. "Turn on" and use only your upper body – your hands and lips. Don't forget to continue informal conversation. Closer to the dinner time, you can try to give her sexual pleasure. Keyword - "give her", not yourself. Therefore, it is best to do this with lips and tongue. If Drayzerka resists even such an innocent form of sexual attention, then today is not your day. But if she is at least a little bit interested in you, then you won't encounter any resistance. Although at first you will probably be met with cold silence and confusion. Keep going. She's just trying to understand how to react, and can't come up with anything: on the one hand, this is nice, on the other hand, it's safe from all points of view, and in the third this is seemingly not an impingement on her honor.

    4. You have reached the highest level of "friendship" with ESI. Now, not only does she not fear you, but also considers you to be her lover. In a certain sense. And now she is more impassioned and wants to do more. Already in any form. Here you'll be greeted with a surprise. If you're still unfamiliar with the term "premature ejaculation", now you'll learn what it is.

    From bed you'll crawl out only in the evening. You would have fallen asleep perhaps, but you're hungry. Enjoy your meal. "
    Last edited by silke; 06-18-2017 at 06:42 AM.

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    InvisibleJim's Avatar
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    Like this,



    For sure.

    I do enjoy these duality exposes!

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    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    Be reliable, honest, and helpful. That's really all you need to win over ISFJs. Note the upper case J, as in I'm not referring to any system other than socionics.
    Easy Day

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Thank you siuntal; you're wonderful for taking time to do these <3 Appreciation to the power of n.

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    Local Hero Saberstorm's Avatar
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    Find one about ESEs and SEIs!
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
    - John Piper


    Socionics -
    the16types.info

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    Obtaining is a better word than exploiting, could imply taking possession of by the act of paying.

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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    chloroform.

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Be a wimp
    Be rich
    Be boring
    Be weak
    Have a weird smile
    Talk about the weather
    Tell her she is always right
    Tell her she has awesome analytical reasoning
    Kiss her
    Bite her
    Take her dress off
    Use your bayonet
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    Quote Originally Posted by labster View Post
    chloroform.
    I would just slip you a date rape pill in your drink, labcoat. Way faster.

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    Anglas's Avatar
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    Thanks siuntal

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    its pretty accurate in chapters one through six. dunno why isfjs are supposedly sexually prudish though. or women, lol.

    i liked the parts about comforting her after a quarrel with her husband. and premature ejaculation.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    its pretty accurate in chapters one through six. dunno why isfjs are supposedly sexually prudish though. or women, lol.

    i liked the parts about comforting her after a quarrel with her husband. and premature ejaculation.
    So, does this mean you're ESi?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    So, does this mean you're ESi?
    Yea, does that mean you're ESI, lungs?

    Okay, I'm done.

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    lump's Avatar
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    wha?

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    dugga dugga dun Narc's Avatar
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    I love that the first point in that article is "are you REALLY sure you want this?".

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    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    ^ ESIs are pains in the ass. we take a lot. and give only when we feel like it.

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    hahaha

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