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Thread: Guides for dual pairs: care and exploitation of INFjs

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    Default Guides for dual pairs: care and exploitation of INFjs

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    Last edited by silke; 11-30-2016 at 06:40 PM.

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    When we start droning in monotone, it can go on for a long time, which for some TIMs is a serious test of their nervous system. Stopping the process is quite simple – shift our attention to something else. Better option – kiss us.
    Check.

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    exploitation is a funny way of putting it. i thought this would be how to scam them out of money or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by article
    Don't lie. In anything. If Dostoesvky catches you at the slightest lie, even microscopic – this is the end. Such situation won't get fixed, good trust will be gone. Because our feelings directly depend on there being trust. Thus, no trust, no stability, no respect – enamoring feelings won't even arise. And if they do – they will quickly fade ...
    YES

    What I do here and everywhere quite often; I used to point this out to a particular forum member all the time who used to say "oh it was only a misunderstanding and it happens all the time." Yeah, right!!! Get a life.

    Quote Originally Posted by article
    Some time after striking up an acquaintance, Dost will be inspecting the person to determine the level of credibility that he or she deserves. After a while, if he decides that he can close the distance, he will make a smaaaall step forward.
    Yes yes yes...sorry for all those who don't get my trust quickly, that's because I am very skeptical and suspicious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    exploitation is a funny way of putting it. i thought this would be how to scam them out of money or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    exploitation is a funny way of putting it. i thought this would be how to scam them out of money or something.
    I bet it is, Khodorkovsky wrote that.

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    Ooh, do you have any plans to translate the LSE rules? Those are hilarious.
    Johari/Nohari

    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

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    Generator of Irony HandiAce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    Ooh, do you have any plans to translate the LSE rules? Those are hilarious.
    There she is. The final boss! I am ready for you!

    Absurd: You Ti dominants sure say things I don't really know where to put.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    exploitation is a funny way of putting it. i thought this would be how to scam them out of money or something.
    Alas, I fear EIIs rarely have anything of value.

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    you know what guys? I'm thinking more and more that i might actually be INFj after all.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    you know what guys? I'm thinking more and more that i might actually be INFj after all.
    Nope

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    "Exploitation" in this article was in reference to parts in EII profiles mentioning how they have trouble turning down requests, and spend xyz hours listening and sympathizing with others, and generally have trouble turning people away, and how LSEs may overwork them. It's an interplay of the stereotypes which, at least on Russian forums, those typing into "Dostoyevskies" poke fun at themselves, not meant to be interpreted literally though I can see Jim's point too.

    This was probably the most interesting part for me:

    Answer: from pathological feeling of shame, which is common to all Dostoevskies, without exception. It's a form of manifestation of shame ... shame of the sort that God forbid others to see the true manifestation of the soul – the tenderness, gentleness, meekness, loving heart ...
    several EIIs I've known would seem to periodically experience something like this i.e. feel very ashamed and self-critical for what to me would seem like a very small blunder

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    Ooh, do you have any plans to translate the LSE rules? Those are hilarious.
    i've seen a couple of sets for LSEs ... can you link the "hilarious" one you're talking about? if it's not too long I may translate it

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    Quote Originally Posted by HandiAce View Post
    There she is. The final boss! I am ready for you!
    *blinks* Eh?
    Johari/Nohari

    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

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    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

    Fruit, the fluffy kitty.

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    .
    Last edited by silke; 11-30-2016 at 06:41 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    ah that's the one about frying the disk in LSEs' computers and forcing them to watch love movies
    cheers, I'll take a look at it but probably next week, too bored of translation atm
    OK.
    Johari/Nohari

    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Nope
    oh ok u dont think so?

    I'm not immoral though... (and that wasn't the only reason i said that)
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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    "Exploitation" in this article was in reference to parts in EII profiles mentioning how they have trouble turning down requests, and spend xyz hours listening and sympathizing with others, and generally have trouble turning people away, and how LSEs may overwork them. It's an interplay of the stereotypes which, at least on Russian forums, those typing into "Dostoyevskies" poke fun at themselves, not meant to be interpreted literally though I can see Jim's point too.
    LSE conserve my energy and protect me against people who seek my attention. They size up the chatty attention seeking ones and tell me beforehand, "that person is experiencing these things (having viewed what's going on in an external behavioral sense) you should stay clear of them." At least the good ones do. Oh lord, if I had a list of friends who seek hours of my attention, it would be LONG. And, LSE see what's most important to be done, so if I sometimes get bored and want to clean, they'll say "everything's fine, don't clean."

    Duality works so well when people love each other and know this about each other.

    I don't make a good match with SLI because they're too self involved to care enough about what others are doing in the external sense and therefore care enough about protecting me, internally; externally, they are wonderful at protecting their family, this I can appreciate them for very much; internally SLI are pleasureful.

    Makes me so sad to think of these situations of duality that I love so much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    oh ok u dont think so?

    I'm not immoral though... (and that wasn't the only reason i said that)
    Nope, I don't. You have the standard IEE ways of engagement and discussion, which are an enjoyable waste of time and not the EII bad waste of time, which I consider akin to an international phone call when the line keeps crackling and the other person can't hear you.

    Correction: Actually, that's not a full answer, there are a few older EIIs who are good company. 35 years plus with a bit of common sense seems to be the prerequisite however.
    Last edited by InvisibleJim; 03-22-2013 at 06:35 AM. Reason: Correction

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Nope, I don't. You have the standard IEE ways of engagement and discussion, which are an enjoyable waste of time and not the EII bad waste of time, which I consider akin to an international phone call when the line keeps crackling and the other person can't hear you.

    Correction: Actually, that's not a full answer, there are a few older EIIs who are good company. 35 years plus with a bit of common sense seems to be the prerequisite however.
    teehee ok thanks for the feedback...

    yeah i'd say i can waste time enjoyably, that's true...
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    You have the standard IEE ways of engagement and discussion ...
    which would these be?

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    which would these be?
    Appreciable quantities of random exploratory thinking coupled with the occasional moral quandary. Such fun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    ah that's the one about frying the disk in LSEs' computers and forcing them to watch love movies
    cheers, I'll take a look at it but probably next week, too bored of translation atm

    Pretty pleez?
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    Good thing I very rarely lie. When I do it's to stay out of trouble with authorities, not to stay out of trouble interpersonally. I may fail to volunteer information (do that a fair amount, actually), but I almost never lie.
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    @silke, excellent post.

    Praises should be given very carefully, preferably only to the point and on suggestive [function] – for diligence, a well selected combination (if you are sure that the choice was made without external input), for successful practical realization of any ideas.
    I find that most people, including EIIs, enjoy being appreciated for their ego functions. They do find direct compliments a bit awkward though. Sometimes just flatly telling them that they've been a big help or whatever is better.

    Dissatisfied expression on your face caused by problems at work, headache, or loss of your favorite sports team in 95% of cases will be taken on our own account and we will feel like we are at fault (if other causes are unknown). LSEs, don't be such conspirators!!
    This has not been my experience, at least with my husband (who I'm pretty sure is EII). I have to be yelling, saying mean things, or throwing things (not that this has happened more than a few of times) before he realizes that I'm upset. :-/

    When we start lecturing and droning in monotone, it can go on for a long time. For some TIMs this is a serious test of their nerves. Stopping the process is quite simple: shift our attention to something else. Better option – kiss us.
    I've not experienced this, either.


    Other than those couple of things it seems to line up pretty well with my experience.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    exploitation is a funny way of putting it. i thought this would be how to scam them out of money or something.
    Because exploitation always has to involve money?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Good thing I very rarely lie. When I do it's to stay out of trouble with authorities, not to stay out of trouble interpersonally. I may fail to volunteer information (do that a fair amount, actually), but I almost never lie.
    Yeah, ExTx like to say this about themselves.

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