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Thread: type my friend, please!

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    Default type my friend, please!

    I have a dear (new) friend whose type I can't figure out. Allow me to describe him:
    He's extremely (yet wonderfully) extroverted, confident, charming, sweet, opinionated, hard-working, and playful. We work together and he is always playing jokes on other people, looking for excuses to not actually work (but when he does work he is very competent and thorough, and he chooses to work 80+ hours a week), and trying to make other people smile.
    He is a talented performer (he sang and acted as a teen) and is majoring in political science in college. He is also very smart (he's going to college on a full scholarship), mentally quick, and well-connected (probably due to his amazing charm and interpersonal skills).
    In spite of all this, I'm still confused about his type. Part of me says "ENFP," but another part says no, because his extraverted feeling function is so incredibly well-developed, and most ENFPs I know are actually quite shy and reserved about approaching and getting to know others. I never experienced any of this with my friend. Also, most of the ENFPs I know tend to be a bit more, well, different. I can't describe this in detail, but they tend to be quirkier than this individual, and I say "quirky" with great affection and respect because I myself am exceedingly quirky. But then again, maybe my ENFP friends are just quirky ENFPs, and quirky people tend to run in packs.
    Also, most of the ENFPs I know seem insecure, whereas this character seems very confident (but perhaps it's just a facade).
    My friend also tends to be slightly bossy. Well, perhaps not bossy, but he doesn't hesitate to demand things of people, yet I'm never offended by his tone.
    My opinion: I think he's either ENFJ or ENFP, but I'm not sure which one. Help!

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    Okay, I read over the descriptions and thought about this again. He's a classic ENFP. My guess is that he's an ethical subtype ENFP and not an intuitive subtype, which would account for the differences between him and my other ENFP friends.

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    ...........

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Yeah from the first part of your description i thought ENFP. When you said he appears confident, i would say i also appear the same most of the time. I focus very strongly on body language and positive thinking so i normally look quite happy. Im definately not insecure. Im also not really quirky at all.

    The making people smile and being able to talk to everyone i can also relate to. Sometimes i can come across as shy but when i want to i turn on the Fe to a high degree.

    On the other hand, im not particuarly mentally sharp, yet not not dumb. The main thing from your post that doesn't resonate is the 80+ hours per week. I cannot see myself doing that i would burn out in no time =)

    To be honest he sounds like a good guy to have as my type lol but i have a feeling sefana could be right. Could he be a ESFJ?
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    I don't think he's ESFJ, he's too irreverant and uninhibited. He flouts the rules instead of obeying them, moves and thinks a mile a minute, reads voraciously and has seen nearly every movie in existence, and is very animated. He also has the V.I. characteristics of ENFP (round face, nice smile). Most ESFJs I know tend to be more structured, orderly, and mannerly. They don't seem to be powered by a motor like my friend is. Another reason why I initially veered away from ENFP is because many of my ENFP friends have psychological problems and aren't as happy as they are portrayed to be. Two of my ENFP friends are enneagram types 4 and 6 and the anxiety that accompanies both (even if you don't agree with the enneagram system, it does illustrate many of the differences within the types), whereas this guy is definitely a 7. Then again, maybe they're the exceptions and this person is the rule, or perhaps I just don't know him well enough to see what's going on behind his happy face. Thanks for your replies and your insights .

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    pezzonovante's Avatar
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    I would say ENFJ. Sounds like an ENFJ girl I used to be very close to, and strong fits. Fits much better than ENFP or ESFJ.

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Yeah its definately possible i can identify a lot with this person. I wouldn't call myself really extraverted, but when i do get like that i move from person to person showing my charm. Im not opinionated though.

    One thing about me though is i go through stages. If im going through a bad stage i can actually get a bit withdrawn and down and dont talk to many people. If im going through a good stage i will love talking to people and will strike up conversations wherever possible. When im in a good stage i feel very confident, i can shake off almost any problem, if im in a bad stage life seems - harder

    The saying about ENFP dependent on moods rings very true to me. I sometimes wish it wasn't like this but it is. For instance some situations that can cause others to crumple and get anxious i take the initiative and liven it up for everyone. So if a few of my friends go to a party and we dont know anyone, often it will be me who will break the ice and find people to talk to. Also in public speaking sometimes i can absolve all fear and do really well. Its all in my mind. While my confidence can be impressive at times, its a little up and down. Sometimes things that shouldn't provoke anxiety do quite a lot and i can get quite nervous and not even think. Its amazing how much my feelings and thoughts can change my outcome.

    The ESTP from what i have noticed is more balanced. They seem self confident and secure all the time. "a mysterious ideal that i wish i could catch up to" however i know that i will never get there

    Anyway sorry for talking about me LOL
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    meatburger, I think this is really true about ENFps. I do well at things that seem scary to others (public speaking, networking events, job interviews, talking to cute guy strangers, etc.) Especially if other people seem scared by it, it becomes even easier. BUT, if something is suppose to be "easy" it becomes very difficult for me. For instance, it didn't bother me at all to quit my job and start a business. Though it's hard to learn, it doesn't really "scare" me. But, the idea of working at starbucks scares me. I don't think I would ever remember how to make all of those different drinks, and I'd forget what all the cash register keys were for. And yes, the moodiness sucks and confuses our friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Yeah its definately possible i can identify a lot with this person. I wouldn't call myself really extraverted, but when i do get like that i move from person to person showing my charm. Im not opinionated though.

    One thing about me though is i go through stages. If im going through a bad stage i can actually get a bit withdrawn and down and dont talk to many people. If im going through a good stage i will love talking to people and will strike up conversations wherever possible. When im in a good stage i feel very confident, i can shake off almost any problem, if im in a bad stage life seems - harder

    The saying about ENFP dependent on moods rings very true to me. I sometimes wish it wasn't like this but it is. For instance some situations that can cause others to crumple and get anxious i take the initiative and liven it up for everyone. So if a few of my friends go to a party and we dont know anyone, often it will be me who will break the ice and find people to talk to. Also in public speaking sometimes i can absolve all fear and do really well. Its all in my mind. While my confidence can be impressive at times, its a little up and down. Sometimes things that shouldn't provoke anxiety do quite a lot and i can get quite nervous and not even think. Its amazing how much my feelings and thoughts can change my outcome.

    The ESTP from what i have noticed is more balanced. They seem self confident and secure all the time. "a mysterious ideal that i wish i could catch up to" however i know that i will never get there

    Anyway sorry for talking about me LOL
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Okay, I'm starting to have second thoughts about whether this person is ENFP. I just met his roommate/good friend who's a classic ISTJ. Duality, anyone? And I'm also reminded of my ENFJ cousin who, though very ENFJ, is something of a badass and lives on the edge (throws wild parties and barely lives to tell about them, so she says). So yeah, he's one of the two (or maybe a cross between them ).

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