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Thread: SLI-ISTp sentimentality and feeling

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    Default SLI-ISTp sentimentality and feeling

    Although I have always been rather sentimental with objects and family past times, I would say that within the last five years I've become much more sentimental in a way that evokes complicated and unfamiliar feelings. For example, movies or books that deal with life issues has had a much greater appeal than previously. The first time I actually noticed this was when I read the book Dr. Zhivago, by Boris Pasternak. The book was pleasing to read although it was also disorienting because I was upset with the main character Dr. Zhivago for, what I saw as, screwing up everything in his life. He strayed from his devoted wife to enter into an affair with another woman, which essentially led to him losing his family. The whole time I just kept thinking about his wife and kids and what he missed out on for the sake of a personal indulgence. Anyways, it left me feeling sad for his family and I had little pity for the guy. Now this is something that wouldn't have interested me in my "younger" years, but since I have a family and kids I am very opinionated about being responsible and devoted and could not imagine throwing everything I've worked for, for my family and I, out the window. So lately, based on my experience with actually having a wife and kids, I can relate to movies or books in a way I never had before. So plots where one lived a life without "getting it" and finally come to realize that they have been missing out on life, move me a way I cannot fully explain. So do plots where the family and/or children have suffered at the expense of someone who is coming to realized their lost time and try to make amends. A movie I saw recently that followed a similar theme, and that caused my eyes to water up, was a movie called Everybody's Fine. Also movies that touch upon the importance of brotherhood can touch me in similar ways as well, movies like Saving Private Ryan and Ladder 49.

    So what is going on here? I wonder if other SLI's have experienced anything similar, or perhaps this is just univerally human and not personality dependent. Have I been slowly integrating feeling functions into my introverted sensing as I've gained certain life experiences? Feeling just kind of creeps up unexpectedly and catches me off guard and I'm usually totally unprepared for it. It can make it difficult to deal with. If somthing sentiment evokes a feeling, my first reaction is, "oh no, not this, not now."

    My apologies, but I have to explore this theme a little. I had a cousin pass away the other other day from a long bout with cancer; he was only fifteen. I tend to explore life themes during times like these. I don't want to talk about this in particular and am not looking for any sympathy, but just trying to explain what brought this on.

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    I find that SLI's are very sentimental and feeling. I know this one SLI who is recently divorced and has two kids and he tells me all the time about this one roomate/girlfriend he had back in 1999. He literally remembers everything about how this girl made him feel. I think this could be triggered by the place he is at in life, loss of his marriage, employment troubles. He really appreciates talking about with me; he has real trust issues and doesn't open up to just anyone.

    I think this is why the IEE is so good for you guys. They let you feel and make your sentiments feel important and honoured, without any pressure to open up.

    Sorry about your cousin man, I know how difficult it is to loose someone close and the feelings it brings up.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    Although I have always been rather sentimental with objects and family past times, I would say that within the last five years I've become much more sentimental in a way that evokes complicated and unfamiliar feelings. For example, movies or books that deal with life issues has had a much greater appeal than previously. The first time I actually noticed this was when I read the book Dr. Zhivago, by Boris Pasternak. The book was pleasing to read although it was also disorienting because I was upset with the main character Dr. Zhivago for, what I saw as, screwing up everything in his life. He strayed from his devoted wife to enter into an affair with another woman, which essentially led to him losing his family. The whole time I just kept thinking about his wife and kids and what he missed out on for the sake of a personal indulgence. Anyways, it left me feeling sad for his family and I had little pity for the guy. Now this is something that wouldn't have interested me in my "younger" years, but since I have a family and kids I am very opinionated about being responsible and devoted and could not imagine throwing everything I've worked for, for my family and I, out the window. So lately, based on my experience with actually having a wife and kids, I can relate to movies or books in a way I never had before.
    You'd be surprised to realize the degree of manipulation society exercises over people. Just like people is taught to fall to the ground when they think they are shot (studies have demonstrated that this is conditioning) people is programmed to assume that infidelity is inevitably the end of a relationship, an issue that can't be overcome. But reality is much different.

    Between partners that truly love each other and are healthy and mature, infidelity can even be constructive as all it usually manages to do is to reinforce the notion that your partner is special as a whole while other people might just be superficially attractive. A meaningful relationship exists when you appreciate not only your partner and what he/she gives to you, but also your own effort invested:

    Quote Originally Posted by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - The Little Prince
    It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.
    And this is enough to cut off new partners. Eventually you come to realize that there is barely enough time and attention to give for a single person if you wish to develop meaningful relationships.

    When infidelity turns out to be destructive it's simply because it reveals aspects that were buried and ignored. Some people isn't really interested in having meaningful relationships in the first place and relate to people just to get immediate gratification. When infidelity leads to separation under such conditions it's simply because the other partner realizes that there is nothing to save in the first place.

    Another common issue is that people derive their own sense of worth from others. They think in the lines of "if I manage to keep someone just for myself then I'm worth a lot; if I can't manage to keep someone just for me then I'm worth nothing". Obviously, a person who thinks that way is going to lose confidence in their own worth and experience extreme pain as a result. They will refuse to forgive not because of the severity of what their partner have done but because they are forced to face an issue they would normally avoid/neglect.

    What I am saying with all this is that you need to make conscious decisions. And reading has just managed to show you what would you feel in such situations, which is a good replacement for trying it first hand.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    So what is going on here? I wonder if other SLI's have experienced anything similar, or perhaps this is just univerally human and not personality dependent. Have I been slowly integrating feeling functions into my introverted sensing as I've gained certain life experiences? Feeling just kind of creeps up unexpectedly and catches me off guard and I'm usually totally unprepared for it. It can make it difficult to deal with. If somthing sentiment evokes a feeling, my first reaction is, "oh no, not this, not now."

    My apologies, but I have to explore this theme a little. I had a cousin pass away the other other day from a long bout with cancer; he was only fifteen. I tend to explore life themes during times like these. I don't want to talk about this in particular and am not looking for any sympathy, but just trying to explain what brought this on.
    Well, let's just say it's not a coincidence that your dual is IEE.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post

    And this is enough to cut off new partners. Eventually you come to realize that there is barely enough time and attention to give for a single person if you wish to develop meaningful relationships.
    I relate to that statement. That is probably why I prefer stable, long enduring relationships. If I think I can't put the time into a relationship, I just let it go and keep things less serious.

    BTW, thanks for your feedback; I feel much more myself and on track now, and much more productive. As much as I hate posting things so personal on the internet it's nice to have some anonymity so I can do so more freely. However, sometimes I write things too personal and once they're out there, usually after a few days, I ask myself why on earth did I post that. That's embarrassing...lol. But, I feel better, so that's a plus.

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    I hugely disagree with mikemex on a lot of his points there. But i do agress with his point about learning what you want/are happy with through your reading of situations.

    It's quite sweet that you explored these things as if first hand through literature, endearing.

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

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    Recently I thought about this post of mine and I think I may be conflating fi and si. These judgements of mine I've made about fictional characters seem to be moral judgements. It's like I feel indignant about what other people are doing, whether it is right or wrong. Anyone concur?

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    Fi-Hidden Agenda. Expressed to the audience in a Te manner.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    I actually think I may be ESI. I have tested as one, although I struggle with answering the test questions with any sort of consistency, it's hard to tell if I am. I find I have a balance between thinking in feeling in general, it is tough to choose one over the other and this can often affect my results. But I judge the character of people rather quickly and hold on to that for quite awhile. I am often very concerned with how what I say may affect other people and focus on my manners; being polite and considerate. I often focus on making my children the same, such as "that was rude.....be patient.....don't interrupt......be nice" I also look down at people who behave in irresponsible or inconsiderate or childish ways, especially permiscuous behavior, or exessive flightiness, or do drugs, but people usually don't know I feel this way because I'm always trying to be considerate. I would just avoid these people. I also would tell someone that something they made for me to eat was good, even if it wasn't. It is an internal conflict. What to do vs what I feel. Not a lot of info, but I have to head into work now. I can elaborate more later, perhaps this should become a different thread...lol.

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    So, you're sentimental.

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    Yes, and I believe this is going to be my sentimental thread filled with my own uncertainties

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    I actually think I may be ESI. I have tested as one, although I struggle with answering the test questions with any sort of consistency, it's hard to tell if I am. I find I have a balance between thinking in feeling in general, it is tough to choose one over the other and this can often affect my results. But I judge the character of people rather quickly and hold on to that for quite awhile. I am often very concerned with how what I say may affect other people and focus on my manners; being polite and considerate. I often focus on making my children the same, such as "that was rude.....be patient.....don't interrupt......be nice" I also look down at people who behave in irresponsible or inconsiderate or childish ways, especially permiscuous behavior, or exessive flightiness, or do drugs, but people usually don't know I feel this way because I'm always trying to be considerate. I would just avoid these people. I also would tell someone that something they made for me to eat was good, even if it wasn't. It is an internal conflict. What to do vs what I feel. Not a lot of info, but I have to head into work now. I can elaborate more later, perhaps this should become a different thread...lol.
    I do this too and for the same reason thougt I was ESI for a little while but something never fit quite right. I think there's more to esi's than this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I do this too and for the same reason thougt I was ESI for a little while but something never fit quite right. I think there's more to esi's than this.
    I suppose there are some similarities between the two. Some things about the type seem to fit, while others not quite, like you said. Maybe there are just times when I feel ESI-ish and that's all. I can hold a grudge though, and try to get even and all that. I can forgive, but never forget, that so of thing.

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    I get sentimental about things. It happens periodically, from time to time, pretty much exactly the way you described it. The feelings can get very heavy sometimes that it starts to feel like carrying a load. It tires me out mentally, I think. I assume it only gets worse with time/age.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    I actually think I may be ESI. I have tested as one, although I struggle with answering the test questions with any sort of consistency, it's hard to tell if I am. I find I have a balance between thinking in feeling in general, it is tough to choose one over the other and this can often affect my results. But I judge the character of people rather quickly and hold on to that for quite awhile.
    That's more evidence for the SLI typing actually. It's the irrational types that get most confusion around T/F preferences. The creative and mobilizing functions create a certain oscillating dynamic and for irrational types those happen to be either Te/Fi or Fe/Ti.

    this is from one of the articles:

    Unsure about being T or F -> you are Socionics XXXp
    Unsure about being S or N -> you are Socionics XXXj

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    okay, So I am seriously contemplating SEI, it shares the same base function with SLI, having a strong focus on aesthetics, but focuses on maintaining a positive atmosphere socially. I find that although I currently have a more mature Te, I just don't think it is actually my creative function. It can be extremely draining overtime. In fact I'm feeling drained from it now. It seems I only care about organization in a way that prevents things from piling up on me which only becomes more stressful and prevents me from relaxing when I want to. I can't be productive in the the relaxed manner I prefer unless certain things are done. In my past I would put things off and the end results is stressful. Also, if my house is a mess, it is less inviting for guests, so it must be clean at all times to account for people feeling comfortable in my home. I like a home to feel like home as in "make yourself feel at home." I like good food, quality beer and wine.

    I have strong sense of responsibility, morality, duty, and am extremely dedicated and loyal to my family, friends, and employer.

    I'm into home improvement projects, but they usually serve as some higher purpose, such as making my home look more comfortable. My wife always asks me if her clothes go together and I tend to be good at that without even thinking. I consider myself to be an artist in spirit. I'm good with color selection, love drawing portraits of people. I tend to see beauty in almost everything.

    As a male, however, I tend to downplay these traits as not to appear too feminine or "gay"

    At work I am a very rational, logical person, but I never approach relations in that matter. Logic is for the impersonal, feeling is for the personal. I feel I'm balanced here, but I've noticed one of the differences I have with thinkers is that I always consider the implications of what I'm going to say to someone and try to say it in the most unoffensive manner possible. I can come across as a know it all, but I do have a lot of knowledge and like to inform the misinformed, and I do have some difficulty with people who won't look at facts on matters I feel are important. However, I'm not overly confident about my knowledge and know that I can be wrong. Some thinker types can be confident to the point of arrogance, even if they are wrong, but I often back down from them, suggesting a resource for them if they're interested to serve as a fact check. People find me very approachable. At work people will call me for help over most others because I'm willing to take the time and not be condescending.

    I love nature, relaxing in nature, fishing, camping, going hiking and for walks, kayaking. Strenuous exercise is for me as the adjective implies: strenuous. Too much will make me feel ill and worn down. I am average height, but narrow looking. I have a small bone structure and tend to be concerned with maintaining a healthy weight. I once was 15-20 lbs heavier, but realized I was addicted to sugar and greasy food, so cut them out for the most part and feel much better. That was over six years ago; I have much more energy now

    Seem reasonable?

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    That's more evidence for the SLI typing actually. It's the irrational types that get most confusion around T/F preferences. The creative and mobilizing functions create a certain oscillating dynamic and for irrational types those happen to be either Te/Fi or Fe/Ti.

    this is from one of the articles:
    I was working on my post above while you commented. Just wanted to point that out because it looks as if I typed my post in response to yours. Thanks for the clarification. I also struggled with S/N until I understood what N actually entailed. I used "N" and "intelligent" interchangably, along with "imaginative" while "S" with "unimaginative" and "unintelligent." Stereotypes can be a bitch to get past.

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    Here is a short "music video" that captures the essence of one of the Dr. Zhivago movies I have seen. I loved the Russian version first, then the British, and finally the American version, but this particular video is of the British version and really captures the humanness of the characters and raw emotion. It evokes feelings of when each of my daughters were born and the beauty of life as well as its trajedies. I loved Tonya's devotion and gentle spirit as Zhivago's wife, but I admired Dr. Zhivago's poetic insights and Lara's free spiritedness as well. It is sentimental.

    Caution, this clip does contain many spoilers in case if you haven't read the book or seen any of the films.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    I actually think I may be ESI. I have tested as one, although I struggle with answering the test questions with any sort of consistency, it's hard to tell if I am. I find I have a balance between thinking in feeling in general, it is tough to choose one over the other and this can often affect my results. But I judge the character of people rather quickly and hold on to that for quite awhile. I am often very concerned with how what I say may affect other people and focus on my manners; being polite and considerate. I often focus on making my children the same, such as "that was rude.....be patient.....don't interrupt......be nice" I also look down at people who behave in irresponsible or inconsiderate or childish ways, especially permiscuous behavior, or exessive flightiness, or do drugs, but people usually don't know I feel this way because I'm always trying to be considerate. I would just avoid these people. I also would tell someone that something they made for me to eat was good, even if it wasn't. It is an internal conflict. What to do vs what I feel. Not a lot of info, but I have to head into work now. I can elaborate more later, perhaps this should become a different thread...lol.
    I would describe the ESIs that I know as polite, but fierce under the surface (don't mess with their kids, you will die.) The SLIs that I know are blunt but more mellow under the surface. They don't care as much about sugarcoating their words, their bluntness can divert you from realizing they are very soft-hearted and you are surprised when you realize it, but after all, SLIs are caregivers. I think the IP temperament makes them look more mellow than an ESI. I am not sure an SLI would care as much about focusing on manners and enforcing polite behavior in their children. They have a more live and let live attitude. Don't worry if it takes you a little while to figure out your type. Everyone has lots of layers. Figuring out who you really are deep down inside may take a little time, but you want to get it right. In the meantime, just enjoy interacting with everyone on the forum and learn as you go along.

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    @Iris
    Thanks for your feedback! It was very helpful. I'm definitely a caregiver; people close to me call me Mr. Mom, which I don't like, but heck with 'em. I keep the house looking nice, bring in most the $, and my wife does the bills and most of the appointments. I have kid duty during the day while she works and then she does kid duty in the evening while I work. I work hard to give my children a stimulating, nurturing home environment so they can grow up to be well-rounded adults. My family is my life.

    It has been hard finding the correct type, personality theory is sort of "out there" and difficult to grasp, but I'm getting better. Practice makes perfect, right? I guess I do need to just give it more time.

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    Sometimes the sentimentality gets so heavy it feels like I'm carrying 500lb weights on my ankle at the bottom of the ocean and I'm going to drown, But then I bust out of the shackles and swim to the top and take a deep breath.

    Well not really...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    Although I have always been rather sentimental with objects and family past times, I would say that within the last five years I've become much more sentimental in a way that evokes complicated and unfamiliar feelings. For example, movies or books that deal with life issues has had a much greater appeal than previously. The first time I actually noticed this was when I read the book Dr. Zhivago, by Boris Pasternak. The book was pleasing to read although it was also disorienting because I was upset with the main character Dr. Zhivago for, what I saw as, screwing up everything in his life. He strayed from his devoted wife to enter into an affair with another woman, which essentially led to him losing his family. The whole time I just kept thinking about his wife and kids and what he missed out on for the sake of a personal indulgence. Anyways, it left me feeling sad for his family and I had little pity for the guy. Now this is something that wouldn't have interested me in my "younger" years, but since I have a family and kids I am very opinionated about being responsible and devoted and could not imagine throwing everything I've worked for, for my family and I, out the window. So lately, based on my experience with actually having a wife and kids, I can relate to movies or books in a way I never had before. So plots where one lived a life without "getting it" and finally come to realize that they have been missing out on life, move me a way I cannot fully explain. So do plots where the family and/or children have suffered at the expense of someone who is coming to realized their lost time and try to make amends. A movie I saw recently that followed a similar theme, and that caused my eyes to water up, was a movie called Everybody's Fine. Also movies that touch upon the importance of brotherhood can touch me in similar ways as well, movies like Saving Private Ryan and Ladder 49.

    So what is going on here? I wonder if other SLI's have experienced anything similar, or perhaps this is just univerally human and not personality dependent. Have I been slowly integrating feeling functions into my introverted sensing as I've gained certain life experiences? Feeling just kind of creeps up unexpectedly and catches me off guard and I'm usually totally unprepared for it. It can make it difficult to deal with. If somthing sentiment evokes a feeling, my first reaction is, "oh no, not this, not now."

    My apologies, but I have to explore this theme a little. I had a cousin pass away the other other day from a long bout with cancer; he was only fifteen. I tend to explore life themes during times like these. I don't want to talk about this in particular and am not looking for any sympathy, but just trying to explain what brought this on.

    This is exactly why i cannot read classic Russian novels. Crime and Punishment was leaving me with the same exact sentiment. I'd feel depressed the whole day after reading a part of it, and gave it up about 1/3 of the way through.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post
    Although I have always been rather sentimental with objects and family past times, I would say that within the last five years I've become much more sentimental in a way that evokes complicated and unfamiliar feelings. For example, movies or books that deal with life issues has had a much greater appeal than previously. The first time I actually noticed this was when I read the book Dr. Zhivago, by Boris Pasternak. The book was pleasing to read although it was also disorienting because I was upset with the main character Dr. Zhivago for, what I saw as, screwing up everything in his life. He strayed from his devoted wife to enter into an affair with another woman, which essentially led to him losing his family. The whole time I just kept thinking about his wife and kids and what he missed out on for the sake of a personal indulgence. Anyways, it left me feeling sad for his family and I had little pity for the guy. Now this is something that wouldn't have interested me in my "younger" years, but since I have a family and kids I am very opinionated about being responsible and devoted and could not imagine throwing everything I've worked for, for my family and I, out the window. So lately, based on my experience with actually having a wife and kids, I can relate to movies or books in a way I never had before. So plots where one lived a life without "getting it" and finally come to realize that they have been missing out on life, move me a way I cannot fully explain. So do plots where the family and/or children have suffered at the expense of someone who is coming to realized their lost time and try to make amends. A movie I saw recently that followed a similar theme, and that caused my eyes to water up, was a movie called Everybody's Fine. Also movies that touch upon the importance of brotherhood can touch me in similar ways as well, movies like Saving Private Ryan and Ladder 49.

    So what is going on here? I wonder if other SLI's have experienced anything similar, or perhaps this is just univerally human and not personality dependent. Have I been slowly integrating feeling functions into my introverted sensing as I've gained certain life experiences? Feeling just kind of creeps up unexpectedly and catches me off guard and I'm usually totally unprepared for it. It can make it difficult to deal with. If somthing sentiment evokes a feeling, my first reaction is, "oh no, not this, not now."

    My apologies, but I have to explore this theme a little. I had a cousin pass away the other other day from a long bout with cancer; he was only fifteen. I tend to explore life themes during times like these. I don't want to talk about this in particular and am not looking for any sympathy, but just trying to explain what brought this on.


    so now that I dealt with your recently illuminated online projections of decayed bodies of wives and shit >>> let me tell you what you repress. It's prolly eaten you in the past somehow tho ...going by the way you claim to have a problem with that male protagonist and pass (hypocritical) judgement on the guy while apparently pitying his wife and family.

    (note that all this is happening while the narrative kinda touches you deeply ...on a soul level, ofc)

    ***This is not to say I don't buy the SLI typing. Just a non-socionical explanation of your insides.
    Last edited by Amber; 06-01-2015 at 10:14 AM.

  25. #25
    Haikus
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmers View Post

    Here is a short "music video" that captures the essence of one of the Dr. Zhivago movies I have seen. I loved the Russian version first, then the British, and finally the American version, but this particular video is of the British version and really captures the humanness of the characters and raw emotion. It evokes feelings of when each of my daughters were born and the beauty of life as well as its trajedies. I loved Tonya's devotion and gentle spirit as Zhivago's wife, but I admired Dr. Zhivago's poetic insights and Lara's free spiritedness as well. It is sentimental.

    Caution, this clip does contain many spoilers in case if you haven't read the book or seen any of the films.
    oh, man. sorry for not stating the obvious and thinking implications are enough.

    ugh.

    This is actually the very fiber and golden truth of some ppl's life when read in conjunction with such honest revelations : http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...62#post1090762


    Finally smth. that rings and vibes genuine and cuts through the usual bs meant to help some sanctify a few social institutions here there and ---- strictly socionically speaking ---- place "Delta values" on a pedestal.
    Last edited by Amber; 06-01-2015 at 12:25 PM.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    They are very sentimental.

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    One of my best friends is an SLI - and he is SUPER sentimental. He like, embraces his sentimentality. It's super cool. So I can totally see you as an ISTp - contrast that with one of my ISFp friends, who although being emotional is very NOT sentimental. I personally think all of your posts that you've written too describe even further stuff like my SLI friend. I don't think you're an SEI, man, I think you're just an SLI learning more to understand/appreciate his feels. hahaha. Just roll with it all, feeling like that is all a part of loving things and living life. Hahaha you're awesome dude

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    My dual too. Loves family and recalls stories of loved ones.

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