Results 1 to 31 of 31

Thread: Physical Affection and the Valued Elements involved

  1. #1
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default Physical Affection and the Valued Elements involved

    I have noticed that 3 out of 4 of the ESEs that I know are very physically affectionate. They all give excellent hugs (a big deal imo), and are just very touchy in general. They have this sort of bear-hug warmth about them. Always have their arm around you when they sit with you, etc.


    Obviously, physical affection is not exclusive to this type, but I was wondering if this is related to any valued elements or if this is just coincidence? Any feedback would be appreciated

  2. #2
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Si types are the most physically affectionate and Ni types, the least.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  3. #3
    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    22,740
    Mentioned
    531 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    I grope regularly; does that count? LOL
    kidding

    Um, LSE are not touchy feelly people but they do love to hug; limited pda in this department LOL

    I guess it would be good to interject where in here; like where in public, at home, in the bedroom, whatever.

    I love love love to hug, kiss, touch gently on the arm, hold hands; I don't like to make others around me feel uncomfortable so I, myself, will refrain from public groping, but I do love to see lovers be lovey in public.

  4. #4
    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    everywhere at once
    Posts
    8,449
    Mentioned
    203 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I find that XSXxs in general will more readily be the slap-happy kind, pats on the back or shoulder etc, especially the extroverts and XXFxs. I get that sort of behavior from XNXxs much less often. The Fe variants will undoubtably be more outwardly affected and wanting for hi-5s or a hug or whatever else works as a "proper" demonstration of inner sentiment.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

  5. #5
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I meant more in public. Like when you run into them, hangout with them or whatever. And I didn't mean exclusively in their romantic relationships, although I'm sure it would carry over to those relations also. I''ve never dated an ESE, but they act this way with me still.

  6. #6

  7. #7
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Lol! Thanks for the link.

  8. #8
    Mermaid with Stellar views SyrupDeGem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    All about dat heart, no trouble.
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    1,472
    Mentioned
    87 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I have come to the realization that i think of myself as more psychically affectionate than i actually am with most people. Because (maybe) of feeling connections with people on a deep level....., presuming i am showing this in some physical format.

    With a partner though i am very tactile, even in public and i insist on that. Constantly holding hands, engaging eye contact...preserving some invisible barrier around us, keeping the rest of the world out. Always touching, perhaps to keep myself in the real. Hmm, quite protective, selfish even. Oh but that's when i am not daydreaming, or distracted by a shiny.

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

  9. #9
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    i don't know. my mom said i was pretty touchy, but I think I'm kind of standoffish at times. Like Maritsa, I don't wanna hug the wrong person and get punched in the face but maybe that's what all those crabby angsty straight men need, for me to just walk up and hug them. <3

  10. #10
    jessica129's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    10,122
    Mentioned
    68 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Unless I'm sleeping with someone, I hate touching other people. I'm so awkward about it, you should see me when I have to hug people lol.

  11. #11
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It's about intensity, I guess. I'm very affectionate but touching is often so intense that it makes me feel awkward when I'm doing it. It has to be a truly close person for me to feel comfortable doing it.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  12. #12
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    It's about intensity, I guess. I'm very affectionate but touching is often so intense that it makes me feel awkward when I'm doing it. It has to be a truly close person for me to feel comfortable doing it.
    Interesting. I love hugs. I actually feel more comfortable around someone if they hug/touch me and not the other way around, presuming they're not a total creeper.

  13. #13
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    But we can be part-creeper?

    that's good to know cuz it's a bit stressful being pretty and perfect 24/7 haha.

  14. #14
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I find that XSXxs in general will more readily be the slap-happy kind, pats on the back or shoulder etc, especially the extroverts and XXFxs. I get that sort of behavior from XNXxs much less often. The Fe variants will undoubtably be more outwardly affected and wanting for hi-5s or a hug or whatever else works as a "proper" demonstration of inner sentiment.
    By "Fe variants" do you mean Fe egos or those who value Fe? I ask because I know a SXE who also acts this way. Although, I would assume him to be SEE over SLE, and therefore not someone who values Fe.

  15. #15
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    @BulletsAndDoves
    Oh, part creeper is fine....in fact, it's encouraged

    Haha kidding

  16. #16
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    not even 1% creeper?!

  17. #17
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    Si types are the most physically affectionate and Ni types, the least.
    Disagree heartily
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  18. #18
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    The Fe variants will undoubtably be more outwardly affected and wanting for hi-5s or a hug or whatever else works as a "proper" demonstration of inner sentiment.
    -_- Why do you think Fe is always about what's "proper?" Plz stop conflating so instinct with Fe, thx.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  19. #19
    . willekeurig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,512
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    IME sensing types are both more inclined to & more natural about physical affection than intuitives.

    Si creatives
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

  20. #20
    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    everywhere at once
    Posts
    8,449
    Mentioned
    203 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    -_- Why do you think Fe is always about what's "proper?" Plz stop conflating so instinct with Fe, thx.
    I don't mean proper in the sense of socially acceptable behavior, rather as it refers to the individual's understanding of how these inner sentiments are best expressed and conveyed. I could have probably found a better word for that.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

  21. #21
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Disagree heartily
    It's pointless to arguee, those are just impressions. There aren't statistics anywhere.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  22. #22
    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    22,740
    Mentioned
    531 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Some people can't type if their life depended on it.

  23. #23
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    IME sensing types are both more inclined to & more natural about physical affection than intuitives.

    Si creatives
    Arrrrgh disagree...
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  24. #24
    . willekeurig's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,512
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Arrrrgh disagree...
    Well, the smoothness of someone's touch is a subjective perception. I tend to find S types, especially Si:s to be better at it.
    According to my observations S types also use physical touch more than N types (generally speaking), though there are definitely some S types that rarely do it less (SLI) and some N:s that seem to be very much into it (EIE). I could also say that extroverts use it more confidently than introverts, feelers more confidently than thinkers, etc. I'm not saying that my social circles are a comprehensive sample, by any means, but this is how it seems to work. All ESEs and SEEs I know are much more physically affectionate than any LII or ILI I've ever encountered.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

  25. #25
    expired Lotus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    TIM
    Se/Ni sx/sp
    Posts
    4,494
    Mentioned
    99 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    i hug everyone goodbye. even people i have just met. sometimes it surprises to them, but they get used to it. they have to hug me everytime they leave.

    the first and only time i met strrng in person, we were walking towards each other on a fairly sketchy street at night so i could walk him to my house. when i saw him i ran up and gave him a big hug like old friends.

    sometimes i even hug my customers when they'd come into the bar. even the creepy old alcoholics that came in everyday and spoke in gibberish, it makes them feel good.

    i'm constantly affectionate with my boyfriend. semi-affectionate with friends, since i have a boyfriend. i don't want to mix up boundaries. regardless, i make a lot of eye contact.

    however, i've never been big on pda. i've always felt weird about kissing longer than socially romantically acceptable out in public. incidentally, the only times i've ever had sex in public were on christmas eve of 2011 and 2012. the first on the beach, early morning joggers and old people could see and i had to keep saying for him to stop. the second time was in my current bf's car because we arrived way too early for the viewing of Django Unchained. it was my idea the second time.

    i hadn't realized the coincidence until just now.
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

  26. #26
    epheme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Japan
    TIM
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    431
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Allie
    I'm the exact same way (not the sex thing, but the hug thing).

  27. #27
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Space
    TIM
    Seer
    Posts
    12,808
    Mentioned
    367 Post(s)
    Tagged
    9 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm IEI and very physically affectionate with the people I love. I'm not the back slapping, high five type of affectionate (I don't mind that in other people, but it's just not me), but I love skin to skin contact. My SLE is very affectionate as well. He likes to grab ass, pull hair and squeeze people, like a typical SLE. Neither of us really have issues with PDA. I just kind of go with the flow of things and I don't really care if other people are around, as I generally don't notice them anyway. SLEs are very physical and grabby, which I have no issue with.

    A big cause for my SLEs divorce to his IEE ex was because she was very uncomfortable with physical affection. It made him feel depressed and rejected. She didn't like to be grabbed, didn't like to cuddle or be touched, and didn't even enjoy foreplay... He says the only sexual position she would do was missionary. It ended up granting on him so badly, to the point of where he couldn't take it anymore. He said he loved her very much, but unfortunately she felt more like a roommate than a lover.
    Last edited by fox; 01-21-2013 at 02:29 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

  28. #28
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fireyed View Post
    A big cause for my SLEs divorce to his IEE ex was because she was very uncomfortable with physical affection. It made him feel depressed and rejected.
    That's interesting. Can you share more?
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  29. #29
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Space
    TIM
    Seer
    Posts
    12,808
    Mentioned
    367 Post(s)
    Tagged
    9 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    That's interesting. Can you share more?
    I edited my post and added more
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

  30. #30
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I don't mean proper in the sense of socially acceptable behavior, rather as it refers to the individual's understanding of how these inner sentiments are best expressed and conveyed. I could have probably found a better word for that.
    Yeah that makes more sense I guess, like assuming inner sentiments should be shared/transmitted.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  31. #31
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Well, the smoothness of someone's touch is a subjective perception. I tend to find S types, especially Si:s to be better at it.
    According to my observations S types also use physical touch more than N types (generally speaking), though there are definitely some S types that rarely do it less (SLI) and some N:s that seem to be very much into it (EIE). I could also say that extroverts use it more confidently than introverts, feelers more confidently than thinkers, etc. I'm not saying that my social circles are a comprehensive sample, by any means, but this is how it seems to work. All ESEs and SEEs I know are much more physically affectionate than any LII or ILI I've ever encountered.
    I dunno, it seems to vary more on a case-by-case basis IMO; for example some Si egos are very eager to let you in to their physical bubble, while others don't want theirs popped. Some Ne egos are kind of touchy and shirk away from physical affection, while others like to be grounded and feel more present. Likewise some Ni egos are kind of averse to physical affection because they have a kind of pristine aura and it involves a kind of alteration in mental state that isn't always conducive to their current mental-emotional process, while others seek the effect of breaking through the shroud. And of course Se egos are kind of classically rock-like sometimes, just wanting to maintain their boundaries, while others they are jocular and physically playful, even tactfully invasive, lol.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •