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Thread: How Parenting Styles Relates to Socionics

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    sindri's Avatar
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    Default How Parenting Styles Relates to Socionics

    Do duels naturally balance each other as parents, or is that compatibility learned?

    How important are intertype relationship compatibility to raising kids (i.e. what if the parent/child are conflictors vs dual? Can dual parents hypothetical be great parents to anyone?)

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    InvisibleJim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sindri View Post
    Do duels naturally balance each other as parents
    This does not sound like a stable foundation for raising children.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    This does not sound like a stable foundation for raising children.
    what do you mean?

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    strangeling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sindri View Post
    what do you mean?
    I think it's kind of like this.


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    24601 ClownsandEntropy's Avatar
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    To a large extent, I think a lot of what a child needs is to feel loved and have affection, which is something which all types can give (in their different ways) through caring for them and being actively concerned for their well-being. As long as the child feels safe to explore the world and themselves and have the parent their to, like, back them up and that they are cared for, then the child will be happy. And for parents who don't provide that care and attention, the only way for duals to "balance that out" is to provide extra love and care (or, like, force the former parent to act more lovingly- something which all types can request and see the need for).

    In regard to discipline, I'm not sure if different parenting styles really "lack" things important for discipline, more that they have different ways of doing things. That is, a conflictor, or a supervisor, or a super-ego or anything, would be equivalently able to provide suitable assistance in disciplining and setting rules as a dual.

    (Unless duals often have similar approaches to how much freedom and trust and punishment types should be given, which is probably also related to the parents' own youth?)
    Warm Regards,



    Clowns & Entropy

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I think parenting styles and outcomes are subject to intertype relations, but there are also many other factors which influence outcomes.

    I know a conflictor child and parent that have a very fractious relationship and have observed conflictor parents trying to raise a child while trying to maintain peace between themselves. I also know a few dual parents with children and such.

    As there are multiple relationship within the raising of a child, including friends, mentors, grandparents, godparents and such outcomes is highly complex. I would not say that it is unpredictable, only that it requires taking into account a large number of variables.

    I think it would be easier for parents who can work together well and are conscientious to raise children of the same or adjacent quadra vs of an opposing quadra, Also it's possible children may seek an relationship with individuals outside of parents for interaction due to conflict within the parental relationship, children have some agency and will make their wishes and needs known.

    Socionics offers some predictive conclusions concerning the quality of close relations, and often those predictions are good. This however does not mean a conflictor child won't love his parents or that they won't be successful and vice versa.

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    I think the stability and shared values of a dual couple would be very reassuring to small children.

    I wonder if dual parents could be a hardship to an older child from a conflicting quadra.

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    24601 ClownsandEntropy's Avatar
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    Yes, in retrospect, having a good relationship between parents and children is probably an important part of development, and so the intertype relations are actually important in making sure the child feels welcomed.

    Different types also probably have different styles of parenting- how assertive they are, what they expect from children, etc., and maybe children of non-compatible types view these methods of parenting as silly or misinterpret them.
    Warm Regards,



    Clowns & Entropy

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    I was writing about my SEI sister-in-law in another thread, so I will contribute a few thoughts about her dual relationship here.

    She and my ILE brother were both the youngest in their families and when they started their own family, I thought they were very over the top about making sure their children were always happy and comfortable. Everything revolved around the kids to the point that I was convinced they would be horribly spoiled. So those kids have turned out to be the most generous, contented, peaceful, thoughtful teenagers. They are very gentle and kind with each other and with their parents. I think the kids are EII and IEE.
    Last edited by Iris; 01-17-2013 at 05:23 PM.

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    It depends on the type of the children, I guess. If they are compatible with their parents, duality would be a huge plus. But if they are from an opposing quadra, I believe duality would reinforce the world view of the parents and force the child to disasociate from himself.
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