What is he critical about?Originally Posted by Fireyed
What is he critical about?
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Your duals don't tell you how to feel.
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
^that is what they will do.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
This thread is a cluster fuck of Socionics mistyped opinions on a topic. My head is spinning.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Hmmmmm, assuming he's SLE and I were in this situation with a girlfriend... it sounds to me as if he isn't comfortable talking to you straight up and felt trapped. The rant wasn't about how you never think, it was about how he is frustrated that he can't just speak his mind without you taking it as a personal hit. A communication barrier.
Would you have been insulted if he phrased it like this?
"TURN ON THE FUCKING DIAL."
I get the feeling the outcome would not have been any different.
Last edited by Azure Flame; 01-25-2013 at 02:46 AM.
D33p.
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
Doesn't matter. SLE's speak in commands. Anything else is too much effort.
"Turn the dial."
"Turn the dial" is much better than "jeez, can't you figure out for yourself that there is a dial? Think woman!"
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I really don't think it's type-related. He sounds insecure and controlling.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Fair nuff. He sounds Te to me.
omg you actually suggested another type for him lol
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
@Fireyed
I had a similar experience with my LSE father at burker king once.
Me: Oh nice, I got a whopper when I asked for a double cheesburger! (I was excited because there was more burger for the price).
Him: You should have paid more attention. You never pay attention.
Me: IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER IF I PAY MORE ATTENTION OR NOT. I GOT MORE THAN I ASKED FOR.
Him: ... ok... sorry
(probably the first time he's ever apologized in the history of the earth too)
Te base LSE tries to predict what you did next. They don't tell you what you should have done; they say "so you did x?"
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
First of all
Jadae isn't an LSE.
Second of all
Fireyed isn't an IEI
Third of all
There's still a slight chance I might not even be SLE
Fourth of all
fuck this shit I'm out of here.
The ones who jump to a conclusion make a predetermined program of action based on their personal reasoning...SiTe or TiSe. DJ, I think your dad maybe one of these.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I think you're a fucking delusional retard living in a fantasy land so you can pretend you're happy when you aren't.
Type aside, this is the same kind of pissy and unnecessary crap I am amazed that my mom put up with from my old man. What a waste of energy, playing lightning rod for someone else's unresolved personal bullshit. Why bother?
What? you're teaching ME how to type? Yeah, good luck with that.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I wish you could hear yourself.
Is your SLE an 8 starfall? I thought it was just mine that did that!
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
I get a little frustrated when IEI's tell me how to feel, frustrates the hell out of me. Often times they'll amplify what I feel only a minimal level, or what they percieve I should feel. Its really wierd.
Yeah, I see what you're saying. I think he'd convey a similar thing... or he doesn't like negative emotion, he says it makes him feel 'trapped' and he just wants it to stop. I don't mind if people are down, but if they are sulking - and won't talk about it, they just act pissy at you, when it's not you. That's bullshit and you should be frustrated the hell out of for doing it
.
Good to hear. One thing I'm noticing with myself and other personalities as well, is that certain people act like "dicks" because they're trying to create a certain distance between the two of you. When I think a girl is too close I'll actually be an ass hole to get her to back off. If she's too far away I'll try to pull her in. Perhaps its his way of creating space between the two of you? Maybe he really does just need some time alone.
Speaking in layman's terms, I find I NEED a girl who more or less continues to create distance between the two of us. This isn't what I want, but its definitely what I need. Not because I like challenges, but because I personally need to feel independent. For me, it feels like there is a empty hole inside of me that needs to be filled, and certain women fill this. They have a "presence" about them that seems to fill my inner space. Its almost like I'm a biosuit and the girl hops inside and controls me. Idunno I'm weird. I enjoy having someone else take the reigns every so often. Eventually I get tired and say, "ok its my turn" and I take charge for a little bit. It makes me feel like I have an equal. But when I'm constantly in charge, or the girl is constantly "at the controls" I start to get exhausted and have to eject her from the cockpit against her will, so to speak. I hope that makes sense.
That's interesting. I think this can be fun, if you're not actually together and you can both take it and give it back on the same level. But I think that SLE's interested in a serious long term relationship need to check their impulse, to act on these kinds of momentary feelings, to save their relationships from deteriorating. If you act aggressively, cruelly or derogatorily because of what you want and how you feel at some particular time, you are going to cause us pain, that means we get more shut off and put less and less effort in which will mean everything between you becomes fucked up. So you've sacrificed what's good between you, just to get what you want or freely express how you feel in the short term. It's irrelevant whether it's duality or not. IEI's don't naturally adore and smoothy fit with all the fucked up shit inside of you. We will make you take responsibility for yourself, if we've got self respect, and leave if you won't.
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
OH MY GOD THANK YOU! Can you imagine 40+ plus years of that? Lol. Sounds just like my boyfriend...who swings from better to worse depending on how well his life is going. He tries hard to deal with it now though.
My SLE 7 friend loves to direct things and give people orders, but he's good natured about it, and does it from the angle of 'i'm totally on your side' rather than raging against you or talking to you like your some defective object to be controlled...He can be pressurizing, and get mad when you don't listen to his commands but he will always quickly diffuse things in an affectionate, playful way. Where as an unhealthy 8 just seems to stir things up to no end.
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
Yeah Maritsa I don't think anyone could teach you anything about Socionics.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
I hate that kinda mental jacking off and circulative bullshit. That and nagging are two surefire ways to piss me straight the fuck off, and I caught a few SLEs doing it. No idea if they thought it was clever, funny, or what the fucking point was of blowing out a bunch of useless words that only serve to piss me the fuck off. Would be easier just to fix shit and move on than to turn it into some retarded game. Next time, tell him to shut the fuck up and he's got only ten words to resole the situation so choose them wisely
p . . . a . . . n . . . d . . . o . . . r . . . a
trad metalz | (more coming)
I always thought that was basically the issue of constructivist/emotivist, but I could be wrong. It actually irritates me too. I've gotten it from many different emotivist types, not just IEIs.The whole "what the fuck is wrong with you?" when you're in a bad mood and whatnot. The scary thing is getting it from LIEs and LSEs who come on way too strong.
Back on topic, I can see some SLEs getting abusive without realizing or attempting to justify it afterwards using any means necessary, like Tony's nephew in The Sopranos. I think it's probably more common though for them to just get into bad moods and be really moody and pessimistic with flashes of bad temper where they break something or act really impulsive. I can also see them impulsively ending a romantic relationship when they're pissed off.
Dandelion Fluff Upon a Spoon
That's not selfish, especially not when he tells you that he is acting like a jerk because acting like an impulsive jerk stresses him out.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
You're not being selfish. You're being a defensive driver on the bumpy road of life. And this guy is an eighteen-wheeler, threatening to run you right off the road into a fiery pit of death. You need to establish road rules. Setting healthy boundaries is a start, or else he'll drag you right down into his depressed, vicious cycle, and that's not going to help either of you.
Re: thread in general... none of the SLEs I've known have ever been abusive to me. We get into arguments sometimes that can get pretty heated, but I've never felt like they were attacking me as a person.
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
a rare Sunday morning shot of a very abusive SLE
Try giving him a few more compliments, even if it's just over small things. If he is feeling so depressed, he could probably use some positive feedback and guidance right about now, just to know that someone cares and the whole world hasn't turned its back on him.
It may be partially type related. With respect to your instinctual variants he is in a position similar to a benefactor or supervisor towards you (sx/so -> sp/sx). What this means is that he will feel like he has to take care of you and look over you. Sx/so soars up high while sp/sx is the most grounded stacking of them all - it's an unequal pairing with your variants even though you are duals in socionics.
If a woman needs continual support from me I go nuts because I have near zero capacity to deal with anxiety or any sort of worry so when it does happen it really stresses me out (I'll actually get GERD). Its bad enough when I worry about my friend who is a dangerholic and just moved to the city. She's the only one I feel this way about though although I know she's strong and able to handle herself very well.
Last edited by Azure Flame; 01-28-2013 at 06:00 PM.
7w8 seems pretty good for him, tbh. I recognize in the stories you tell about him (I mean, from what you tell about him! of course) some of the things that would kinda make me feel impulsively good (aka driving fast, spending loads of money on anything) but that I would never dare doing due to the subsequent predictable "downtime".
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Yes, there are plenty of articles online concerning coercive mental control tactics, including over-protectiveness and demands that all his worry be recognized for the selflessly benevolent act that he wants it to be seen as.
Because he is controlling.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I see this happen alot whenever people opt to date an older partner. (upwards of 10 years).
It happened with my ex and I.
It's happening to a friend of mine now who is dating someone 15 years older.
It happened to my ex when he dated his ex who was 15 years older.
The age difference is too much. It, more times than not, starts to resemble a child-parent relationship at some point. Usually it comes from a good place: ie them not wanting us to go through the same mistakes they made, but it does become an obstacle to meet on the same page and been seen as equals. And unless both partners are mature, it's not gonna work out favorably for either.
Cut your losses, find someone closer to your own age... you're only young once, no need to rush it (you'll only resent him later for it).
I don't think it's the age difference (my boyfriend is 10 years older than I am). He needs to work on himself and until then, he shouldn't be in a relationship.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Ew, pressuring someone else to joing the military (not just getting a random job that you can change at wish) seems really, really weird.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
to be fair, I did say "unless both partners are mature".
It's all about being and being seen as equals. He most definitely does not see her as his equal. in contrast, your bf probably does.
Sounds like she's hot and he doesn't want to lose "that".
Do you want a partner that constantly treats you with disrespect DJ, so you feel like someone who puts themselves in higher regard than you are are more valuable?
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