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Thread: Guides for dual pairs: ISTp, how to care for an ENFp

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    Default Guides for dual pairs: ISTp, how to care for an ENFp

    .
    Last edited by silke; 11-30-2016 at 07:22 PM.

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    thanks for translating it! The "Google translation" was very messy...
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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    1. If IEE really wants something, agree to it

    9. Arguing with Huxley is useless.
    There, trimmed it a bit.

    Women...

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    Everything here looks to be in order.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    There, trimmed it a bit.

    Women...
    Huxley's are not always women though.

    And I found a bunch of other points in the list a lot more relevant.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Huxley's are not always women though.
    9. Arguing with Huxley is useless.

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Everything here looks to be in order.
    Ti skills and beta humour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    9. Arguing with Huxley is useless.
    OK i wont tell the male IEEs here that you called them women.
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    Hush.

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    Relax and enjoy.
    Good advice.
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Okay!
    1) It's not flirting.

    2) I lol'ed at 11

    3) I disagree with the p.s bit


    Apart from that fairly accurate.

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Okay!
    1) It's not flirting.
    .
    Yeah that was the one i really was like "ummmmm...."

    I actually have always considered myself incompetent in flirting, in that I cant just flirt on demand. In fact when I like someone, i often am totally unable to demonstrate it (I think? Maybe I dont realize i'm doing it...).

    I guess friendliness can get misinterpreted as flirting???
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Yeah that was the one i really was like "ummmmm...."

    I actually have always considered myself incompetent in flirting, in that I cant just flirt on demand. In fact when I like someone, i often am totally unable to demonstrate it (I think? Maybe I dont realize i'm doing it...).

    I guess friendliness can get misinterpreted as flirting???
    Exactly so... my definition of flirting is mainly in intention. If you intend to flirt with someone... or if you intend something romantic(or sexual i suppose) to come of a situation and are acting differently so as to imply that... then yah that's flirting.

    Friendliness is NOT flirting.

    And i agree, if i wanted to flirt I'd try to but then get all silly and probably fall over and knock my teeth out. Either that or I'd blurt out something random or inappropriate turn bright red and run away...(this has happened). Or another possibility and prob the most likely is that I'd be stifled and not know what to say...

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

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    9. Arguing with Huxley is useless.

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    @HelenOfTroy and @WorkaholicsAnon another IEE poster commented further down the thread that the way IEEs communicate is often misunderstood as flirting, especially so by SLIs, so to make things simple and easy just tell your SLI that it's not really that, don't leave him to assume on his own


    This is another set of instructions for getting along with IEEs that was drafted by a female IEE forum member and posted in the same thread:

    1. Never tell Huxley "you should," "you must" and so on. At best, it will be perceived as a violation of Huxley’s freedom and the underestimation of his abilities. "Do not tell me what to do, and I will not tell you where to go."

    2. If you want him to do something, offer work that is interactive, during which he will be able to interact with others and/or see something new.

    3. If you want your Huxley to take up household chores - help him out, or better yet do them yourself. Believe me, it is much easier to take out the trash yourself in five minutes than to spend half an house removing bits of trash from all over the apartment. While Huxley will be eternally grateful to you.

    4. Don’ be upset with his inconsistency - he is always looking for new experiences, new people and relationships, and likes building castles in the air. Do not look at quantity of his friends - it rarely turns into quality.

    5. If he finds you interesting, he will always find time to meet with you, if not - a thousand reasons not to come.

    6. If Huxley is smiling at you and laughing at everything you say, this does not mean that he is in love with you. He just likes to please people!

    7. Huxley ignores another person usually when he was very offended by him or her, or if he is simply not interested in that person. And most often this happens consciously.

    8. Do not pressure Huxley to give promises. It is necessary to distinguish phrases "I will try, attempt, give it a shot" and "I will certainly do exactly this." If any circumstances change, the promises may also lose their meaning and change.

    9. Huxley does not like gloomy and miserable people if he cannot somehow help them somehow or comfort them. If you need support - he is always ready to become a "knight on a white horse," even if you aren’t friends. But constant whining and bemoaning has a depressing effect on him, and he will run off.

    10. Huxley detests when someone is being unjustly hurt, especially the weak and defenseless, he immediately begins to attack the offender. Therefore, in his presence, try not to attack and offend anyone – otherwise you risk losing his trust and affection.

    11. More often praise Huxley if he did something good or pleasant for you. He will never get tired of hearing compliments, and he will invent all possible efforts to justify your confidence in him.

    12. Under no circumstances make scandals in public! Huxley will never forgive you if you accuse him of something in front of everyone. He will fight back by all means to prove how wrong you are.

    13. You should not lie to Huxley. Even if he pretends that everything is running smoothly, this does not mean that he is not plagued by doubts. "You don’t know that I know that you are lying, and you don’t need to know this ... for the time being."

    14. If Huxley considers you a close friend, don’t ask "Can I hug you, kiss you ...? '. Just do what you want, and Huxley can easily let you know whether he is likes it or not.

    15. Do not rush to fall at his feet, for Huxley likes to win someone over, to surprise them. Before you do anything of this kind, make sure that he truly values you and that he is also invested.

    16. Do not repeat too often, "I love you" – that he sees well himself. A kind, gentle look and a prepared dinner will be enough for him.

    17. Take good care of his health, of his well-being. It is appreciated. If Huxley is warm and cozy, he will surround you with love and joy.

    18. To support Huxley, it is sufficient to say that you're on his side, and those who are against him are spiteful and envious.

    19. Huxley does not remember evil (will commit an offense and forget it) and he is not vindictive, he will not conceal resentment for long. But once you have seriously failed him, he will no longer go to you, considering you an unreliable and untrustworthy person.

    20. Sometimes we Huxleys play. Play not for the public, but for ourselves. It’s just more interesting like this! We like to dream and come up with new ideas, but do not condemn us or accuse us of lying.

    21. It is not true that Huxley likes to talk incessantly. He is just filling pauses in the conversation! Hence don’t be quiet and go mute, you should at least occasionally say "Uh-huh", "Yes, honey, you're absolutely right!” Speaking seriously, Huxley do not like pulling words from their interlocutor if he is not predisposed to the conversation. In this case, it is easier for him to talk of something himself.

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    lol @ 18

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    1. If IEE really wants something, agree to it, but do not do anything. Sooner or later, she will forget, and if she doesn't forget, she will want something else. Then you can say to her, "See, now you need to choose." While she is going to be choosing, she will want a third thing. Technically, they do not forget about their wishes, but because they want everything at once, usually in any given moment they will want something they are most crazy for.
    ew no

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    2. Do not try to predict in what kind of mood you will see Huxley at home in the evening (the next time you see her). If in good mood – you got lucky, if in poor mood - then no luck. Relax and enjoy.
    This is good for the most part. I find that *who* I come home to when the day is done makes a big difference in my mood once I'm there, so if you're cool then I'll generally stay engaging.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    3. If Huxley is possessed by some idea to the extent that she notices nothing around her, don't be scared, this isn’t going to last long. It will be worse if Huxley seriously occupies herself with you. Then you won’t be able to hide.
    lol, way to explain my 1st relationship

    [QUOTE=siuntal;922038]4. Remember, you will have to take care of you own comfort. Do not delude yourself, if Huxley suddenly decides to feed you, iron your shirts, do the laundry – this is not for long. One day it will turn out that you have nothing to eat, nothing to wear, the shirts are all wrinkled.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    5. Don’t become frightened if Huxley suddenly takes an interest in someone of the opposite sex. You won’t be able to do anything, you’ll only upset yourself. Chances that Huxley will not leave you are very high (that is, of course, if Huxley had already started up a serious relationship with you.)
    Hey, boys will be boys. I've had my idle crushes every now and then, but were I were already in a relationship with someone who I felt satisfied with then it'd amount to just eye candy and I'd move on.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    6. Huxley CANNOT not flirt. Do not pay attention to their flirtations if possible.
    ;_; this is me I am literally crying right now

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    7. Sharing Huxley’s ideas can be done and should be done. You won't be able to get out of this.
    My ideas are stupid, nobody deserves to know about them.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    3. Periodically, you can tell to your Huxley that she is cool and the best. This will not make the matters worse - she herself is well aware of it.
    Eh, I just get uncomfortable when people tell me how great they think I am.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    9. Arguing with Huxley is useless. She is completely convinced of her own rightness, therefore, in response to reasonable arguments you will hear about your character that which you have never heard before and didn't even consider.
    I can see how this applies to some IEEs, but I find myself to be more reasonable than that

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    10. Huxley periodically has episodes of depression. In general, if you happened to see Huxley in their depressed state, this is a sign of trust. In public, Huxleys do not allow themselves to show it. In this case, of course, you can also do nothing, but it is better to take Huxley to a nice cafe, take her out dancing (preferably somewhere where she hasn't been already). I was under the impression that depressed Huxleys don't want to go out of the house, so the place should be interesting, or at least new. In the extreme case, you can just put her next to yourself and stroked her back. This, oddly enough, helps.
    Don't most people have periodic episode of depression/sadness?

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    11. Huxley love surprises. But the surprises should be pleasant.
    I startle easily.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    12. Do not overfeed your Huxley. They have the ability to quietly nibble on that which is right in front of them. Especially if it's something tasty. Therefore the process of eating should be regulated. You have put it on table - Huxley eats. Removed from table – no longer eats.
    It's impossible for me to overeat.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    PS. And a little about sex. Do not expect that sex in Huxley’s life will be as important as it is in yours. Sex is one thing, but Huxley can always find for themselves other interesting activities. Though you should not think that Huxley doesn't need sex, that her love is purely platonic. It is needed, and important, but sometimes you just need to hold her hand, pat her on the back, etc.
    I just need to be with someone I can trust, then I'm down for all the sex we can stomach.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    @HelenOfTroy and @WorkaholicsAnon another IEE poster commented further down the thread that the way IEEs communicate is often misunderstood as flirting, especially so by SLIs, so to make things simple and easy just tell your SLI that it's not really that, don't leave him to assume on his own
    Actually i feel like SLIs are the last to assume (or notice?) such things. Maybe because of Fe-POLR?

    This is another set of instructions for getting along with IEEs that was drafted by a female IEE forum member and posted in the same thread:

    1. Never tell Huxley "you should," "you must" and so on. At best, it will be perceived as a violation of Huxley’s freedom and the underestimation of his abilities. "Do not tell me what to do, and I will not tell you where to go."
    2. If you want him to do something, offer work that is interactive, during which he will be able to interact with others and/or see something new.
    3. If you want your Huxley to take up household chores - help him out, or better yet do them yourself. Believe me, it is much easier to take out the trash yourself in five minutes than to spend half an house removing bits of trash from all over the apartment. While Huxley will be eternally grateful to you.
    4. Don’ be upset with his inconsistency - he is always looking for new experiences, new people and relationships, and likes building castles in the air. Do not look at quantity of his friends - it rarely turns into quality.
    5. If he finds you interesting, he will always find time to meet with you, if not - a thousand reasons not to come.
    6. If Huxley is smiling at you and laughing at everything you say, this does not mean that he is in love with you. He just likes to please people!
    7. Huxley ignores another person usually when he was very offended by him or her, or if he is simply not interested in that person. And most often this happens consciously.
    8. Do not pressure Huxley to give promises. It is necessary to distinguish phrases "I will try, attempt, give it a shot" and "I will certainly do exactly this." If any circumstances change, the promises may also lose their meaning and change.
    9. Huxley does not like gloomy and miserable people if he cannot somehow help them somehow or comfort them. If you need support - he is always ready to become a "knight on a white horse," even if you aren’t friends. But constant whining and bemoaning has a depressing effect on him, and he will run off.
    10. Huxley detests when someone is being unjustly hurt, especially the weak and defenseless, he immediately begins to attack the offender. Therefore, in his presence, try not to attack and offend anyone – otherwise you risk losing his trust and affection.
    11. More often praise Huxley if he did something good or pleasant for you. He will never get tired of hearing compliments, and he will invent all possible efforts to justify your confidence in him.
    12. Under no circumstances make scandals in public! Huxley will never forgive you if you accuse him of something in front of everyone. He will fight back by all means to prove how wrong you are.
    13. You should not lie to Huxley. Even if he pretends that everything is running smoothly, this does not mean that he is not plagued by doubts. "You don’t know that I know that you are lying, and you don’t need to know this ... for the time being."
    14. If Huxley considers you a close friend, don’t ask "Can I hug you, kiss you ...? '. Just do what you want, and Huxley can easily let you know whether he is likes it or not.
    15. Do not rush to fall at his feet, for Huxley likes to win someone over, to surprise them. Before you do anything of this kind, make sure that he truly values you and that he is also invested.
    16. Do not repeat too often, "I love you" – that he sees well himself. A kind, gentle look and a prepared dinner will be enough for him.
    17. Take good care of his health, of his well-being. It is appreciated. If Huxley is warm and cozy, he will surround you with love and joy.
    18. To support Huxley, it is sufficient to say that you're on his side, and those who are against him are spiteful and envious.
    19. Huxley does not remember evil (will commit an offense and forget it) and he is not vindictive, he will not conceal resentment for long. But once you have seriously failed him, he will no longer go to you, considering you an unreliable and untrustworthy person.
    20. Sometimes we Huxleys play. Play not for the public, but for ourselves. It’s just more interesting like this! We like to dream and come up with new ideas, but do not condemn us or accuse us of lying.
    21. It is not true that Huxley likes to talk incessantly. He is just filling pauses in the conversation! Hence don’t be quiet and go mute, you should at least occasionally say "Uh-huh", "Yes, honey, you're absolutely right!” Speaking seriously, Huxley do not like pulling words from their interlocutor if he is not predisposed to the conversation. In this case, it is easier for him to talk of something himself.
    This list is excellent. Right on the money.

    Incidentally, many a first date never turned into a 2nd date because of #14-16.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I just need to be with someone I can trust, then I'm down for all the sex we can stomach.
    Yes, I have never met an IEE with a low sex drive. Perhaps the OP is just bad in bed, doesn't inspire the correct romance, etc.?

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Yes, I have never met an IEE with a low sex drive. Perhaps the OP is just bad in bed, doesn't inspire the correct romance, etc.?
    I think you guys are just misinterpreting that point. The way I am reading it, it's just saying that IEEs aren't like hyperfocused on getting laid (contrast what's his name.... the weird SLE dude from finland) and life doesnt revolve around the genitalia, because there are so many other awesome things to do and learn in life. IT's not saying IEEs avoid sex or dont like it or something.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    I think you guys are just misinterpreting that point. The way I am reading it, it's just saying that IEEs aren't like hyperfocused on getting laid (contrast what's his name.... the weird SLE dude from finland) and life doesnt revolve around the genitalia, because there are so many other awesome things to do and learn in life. IT's not saying IEEs avoid sex or dont like it or something.
    Well, I guess if you think so.

    The last SLE I was involved with seemed almost hyper-sexual compared to virtually every other partner I've had.

    Is the original post from an SLI?

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    it's just saying that IEEs aren't like hyperfocused on getting laid (contrast what's his name.... the weird SLE dude from finland)
    If you're talking about Aquagraph he's hyperfocused on everything in a manner that's very similar to the IEEs I know. And the last time I checked he was still ILE. Duh.
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    10. Huxley periodically has episodes of depression. In general, if you happened to see Huxley in their depressed state, this is a sign of trust. In public, Huxleys do not allow themselves to show it. In this case, of course, you can also do nothing, but it is better to take Huxley to a nice cafe, take her out dancing (preferably somewhere where she hasn't been already). I was under the impression that depressed Huxleys don't want to go out of the house, so the place should be interesting, or at least new. In the extreme case, you can just put her next to yourself and stroked her back. This, oddly enough, helps.
    So true! My SLI ex was phenomenal at getting me out of the house, mostly on day trips or just fun drives around the neighborhood and a movie. Never failed to cheer me up.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
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    Ethical extroverts are uber-crazy. ENFp's are one of them. That's all you need to know.

    If you ever feel like you need instructions, the best course of action is to give up.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

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    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    This thread is dumb.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae View Post
    This thread is dumb.
    Boo to you! Party pooper.

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

  26. #26
    Creepy-pikachu

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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Boo to you! Party pooper.
    Amen. Now get back to work.

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    This thread makes my liver hurt.

    Ok, so

    Provide a calm and relaxing atmosphere where there's a lot of talk about pleasant things like dogs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    So true! My SLI ex was phenomenal at getting me out of the house, mostly on day trips or just fun drives around the neighborhood and a movie. Never failed to cheer me up.
    I can definitely get stuck in a rut at home doing a million things i'm behind on...
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Well, I guess if you think so.

    The last SLE I was involved with seemed almost hyper-sexual compared to virtually every other partner I've had.

    Is the original post from an SLI?
    siuntal? siuntal didn't author that list... a socionist from Russia did (can someone please write the name if you know?). He just translated it from russian.
    Anyway, I think siuntal is IEI, right @siuntal?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    If you're talking about Aquagraph he's hyperfocused on everything in a manner that's very similar to the IEEs I know. And the last time I checked he was still ILE. Duh.
    That's of course assuming you all are typing yourselves correctly but that's a topic for a different thread.

    and please please PLEASE dont put me in a category with that kind of behavior.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    So fluffeh. Cuddly McFluffles's Avatar
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    "Do not tell me what to do, and I will not tell you where to go."
    I love it!
    Johari/Nohari

    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

    Fruit, the fluffy kitty.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    and please please PLEASE dont put me in a category with that kind of behavior.
    No worries. My impression of you is not that of a typical IEE. You seem more close-minded, self-absorbed and judgmental in many ways.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    No worries. My impression of you is not that of a typical IEE. You seem more close-minded, self-absorbed and judgmental in many ways.
    9. Arguing with Huxley is useless.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    No worries. My impression of you is not that of a typical IEE. You seem more close-minded, self-absorbed and judgmental in many ways.
    Have you considered that you and your posse are mistyping, or is that like totally out of the question to you?
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    wrap them up in a fuzzy blanket and don't let them go out in the rain

    Oh sorry, that's my version.

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    IEEs often prefer raindancing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Have you considered that you and your posse are mistyping, or is that like totally out of the question to you?
    Typing by consenus!

    For a good example of male IEE see Somavision or Wonkavision (although I have never seen him around these parts)

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    What happened to Somavision, anyway? Pranked himself this time?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    Provide a calm and relaxing atmosphere where there's a lot of talk about pleasant things like dogs.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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