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Thread: Homeless Doppelganger

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    Default Homeless Doppelganger

    I met a homeless person last week and he was my identical. It felt like I was having a conversation with myself. He even looked like me or one of my brothers.

    So all this week I have been thinking about what would drive me to actually living on the streets. I guess for me, if I had enough pain in my life, I might want to dull it with too much alcohol. That would probably be the chink in my armor. So I guess it would be avoidance of pain (emotional, not physical.)

    Does everybody have a vulnerability that could lead to destruction?

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    I'm pretty sure that everyone has a weakness, or weak point.

    I sort of miss being homeless...in the sense that there was also quite a bit of freedom. But I would never, ever, want to go through it while raising a child!

    I do often dream of getting a better van, fixing it up like the camping van my father had, and then spend time traveling across the usa, meeting people from the internet, and/or being completely away from the internet. But I also fear losing my mind, and doing something like that might not be the best way to avoid it...or maybe it would, i dunno.
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    too many things to list seem plausible.

    not that i'm necessarily riddled with tons of vulnerabilities, though i have a few, but more that i don't see myself as especially immune to anything in particular.
    it wouldn't be illicit drugs, its easy to rule that out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I'm pretty sure that everyone has a weakness, or weak point.

    I sort of miss being homeless...in the sense that there was also quite a bit of freedom. But I would never, ever, want to go through it while raising a child!

    I do often dream of getting a better van, fixing it up like the camping van my father had, and then spend time traveling across the usa, meeting people from the internet, and/or being completely away from the internet. But I also fear losing my mind, and doing something like that might not be the best way to avoid it...or maybe it would, i dunno.



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    Lol @bionicgerbil
    Now I finally know what Richard's been referencing everytime he refers to parking the van down by the river.

    However, I'm 40 and never been married...and I own a cat. Perhaps I'll become that little old lady living with all her cats in a van parked down by the river.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    So all this week I have been thinking about what would drive me to actually living on the streets. I guess for me, if I had enough pain in my life, I might want to dull it with too much alcohol. That would probably be the chink in my armor. So I guess it would be avoidance of pain (emotional, not physical.)
    Alcohol as in addiction to alcohol only prompts you to remember when you want to forget, so one doesn't drink to forget, one drinks to remember at the beginning and it nullifies physical pain as well. Numbs you down. Prolonged exposure ends in delirium where you see ants/snakes crawling in your bed in a psychiatric ward and that is where you actually start forgetting for the rest of your life(?) what's your name,who you are and what age you are, etc.

    Does everybody have a vulnerability that could lead to destruction?
    I drive too fast when all by myself.

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    I don't think so, honestly. If nothing has done it yet I very much doubt that anything would drive me to that point.

    I was homeless as a kid quite a lot, but that obviously wasn't my fault.
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    ew, you talk to homeless people?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Capitalist Pig View Post
    ew, you talk to homeless people?
    Why yes, yes I do.

    Lately I have found myself only wanting to talk to the ones who seem genuinely homeless and hungry, as opposed to the more prosperous ones. I once offered a begger some canned food (easy open top, mind you) that I had with me, and he declined my offer, telling me he had just eaten a whole pizza from Pizza Hut.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I'm pretty sure that everyone has a weakness, or weak point.

    I sort of miss being homeless...in the sense that there was also quite a bit of freedom. But I would never, ever, want to go through it while raising a child!

    I do often dream of getting a better van, fixing it up like the camping van my father had, and then spend time traveling across the usa, meeting people from the internet, and/or being completely away from the internet. But I also fear losing my mind, and doing something like that might not be the best way to avoid it...or maybe it would, i dunno.
    There is an appeal to roaming, and relying on your own resourcefulness. @Scapegrace I agree that is no life for children.

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    Eh. It's probably better for young children to be homeless than it is for adults. When my brother and I were young we had no idea. We had one fabulous summer during which we got to live at a camp ground. We thought we were pretty lucky. haha
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    There is an appeal to roaming, and relying on your own resourcefulness. @Scapegrace I agree that is no life for children.
    When I said I wouldn't want to raise a child while homeless, I was (am) more concerned about my own frame of mind than worrying about my child's.

    When I moved to WA, my 2yo and I were briefly without a home for a month. (the place I had lined up reneged on me three days prior to my move to another state date) We stayed at a campsite, with a broken down stationwagon filled to the brim with all our belongings. I didn't mind long walks into town except for having to push a stroller, or carry her, etc. I was constantly worried about leaving our belongings behind...not because of my concerns (I had been homeless before, for almost a year), but because of the things I needed for her. Being already at poverty level and on disability, losing her clothes, hygiene items, etc was frickin scary to me, cuz I had no guarantee that I could replace them. I also had to constantly worry about people who jump to nasty conclusions and/or judge others prior to obtaining further information. I was worried that they would report us, and the state would take her away from me.

    Basically, that one short month was nerve wracking for ME...not her.
    I never want to experience that again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    I met a homeless person last week and he was my identical. It felt like I was having a conversation with myself. He even looked like me or one of my brothers.
    There's a good chance you'll become a time traveler in coming years.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    When I said I wouldn't want to raise a child while homeless, I was (am) more concerned about my own frame of mind than worrying about my child's.

    When I moved to WA, my 2yo and I were briefly without a home for a month. (the place I had lined up reneged on me three days prior to my move to another state date) We stayed at a campsite, with a broken down stationwagon filled to the brim with all our belongings. I didn't mind long walks into town except for having to push a stroller, or carry her, etc. I was constantly worried about leaving our belongings behind...not because of my concerns (I had been homeless before, for almost a year), but because of the things I needed for her. Being already at poverty level and on disability, losing her clothes, hygiene items, etc was frickin scary to me, cuz I had no guarantee that I could replace them. I also had to constantly worry about people who jump to nasty conclusions and/or judge others prior to obtaining further information. I was worried that they would report us, and the state would take her away from me.

    Basically, that one short month was nerve wracking for ME...not her.
    I never want to experience that again.
    I would imagine. It's unacceptable that you we're in the position you were. Young women with children should be taken care of. One of the reasons I get pissed off when people bitch about lazy people on welfare is that there isn't nearly enough of it.

    I'm glad your life improved.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scapegrace View Post
    I would imagine. It's unacceptable that you we're in the position you were. Young women with children should be taken care of. One of the reasons I get pissed off when people bitch about lazy people on welfare is that there isn't nearly enough of it.

    I'm glad your life improved.
    Thanks.
    Ftr, one of the apartment places I found near the end of the month allowed us to stay in a newly emptying apt until housing authority could finish the inspection for my new apt (in the same place). He allowed me to clean the apt for him for the 2 weeks we were there.

    And then a few months later, a used car lot dealer agreed to make an even trade for my blown engine (?gasket and something else?) station wagon for a fully running decent little two door car that lasted 6 more years. (I finally got to thank him last year when I bumped into him and his wife.

    So thankfully...there were some decent people willing to help....without requiring any mmhmhmm in return. (unlike when I was solo...in which every little thing seemed to come with expectations)
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    Idk, If I were ever forced to be homeless, I would try my best to not be a burden on people. I was eating dinner in south beach the other day and a homeless woman came up to our table while we were eating and begged for money. Call me heartless, but it was very... awkward. Rather than feel sorry for her, I felt annoyed and irritated.
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    My family was homeless a few times when I was a kid, and my sister and I had fun with it - we got to do some pretty cool stuff that most kids don't. I was kind of a funny kid though, I never could control my mouth. This one time we had been living at a campground for awhile, fishing everyday for food when a game warden came by. He starts asking my sister and I about how many fish we had been catching and things like that. I guess some busybody had called him and told him about us, so he says, "Someone says you have X number of fish, (I don't remember how many) at your camp, is that true?" And I said, "Well, we did have that many, but not anymore. We ate them all," while my sister is nudging me and trying to get me to shut up. Anyway, he didn't do anything - just talked to my parents, and gave them a warning, which ended up being more or less a warning to be more careful in not getting caught fishing illegally.

    When I was homeless on my own I was only 17, and although I didn't expect it, people helped me out of nowhere. The car I had was a gift from basically strangers that had met me a couple times. I was able to work enough that I could feed myself and keep gas in the car, but not much else. But when my brakes went out on the car, someone fixed them for free for me. It seemed that there were generous people everywhere even though I didn't ask for it. It wasn't that bad - actually I really enjoyed it, because it was kind of awesome being away from my family and on my own. It was just me, and there was, like anndelise said a sense of freedom that you do lose when you tie yourself to a place.

    Anyway, when I was homeless, and when my family was, we were never street people or beggars or anything like that. We were just poor and had no place to live.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    Does everybody have a vulnerability that could lead to destruction?
    I would take that person home.

    My vulnerability that would lead to total destruction is depression. But I've had to work through it and learn that there are things I can do outside of how I feel and that the actions have sustained me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    It wasn't that bad - actually I really enjoyed it, because it was kind of awesome being away from my family and on my own. It was just me, and there was, like anndelise said a sense of freedom that you do lose when you tie yourself to a place.
    Same thing during my own walkabout phase. At times it's tempting to step away from everything and return to the wandering life, attached to no more than I can carry.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fireyed View Post
    Idk, If I were ever forced to be homeless, I would try my best to not be a burden on people. I was eating dinner in south beach the other day and a homeless woman came up to our table while we were eating and begged for money. Call me heartless, but it was very... awkward. Rather than feel sorry for her, I felt annoyed and irritated.
    Congrats, you're now ready to dine at the cafes of southern Europe and tell pregnant gypsies to fuck off between bites of your meal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by k0rpsy View Post
    Same thing during my own walkabout phase. At times it's tempting to step away from everything and return to the wandering life, attached to no more than I can carry.
    It is tempting for me too. Some days more than others.

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    I'll be officially homeless in less than a month. I don't have much property, but I'm thinking about selling/giving away most of my clothes, books etc anyway and living with that money for a while. It doesn't bother me, because I've really grown to hate junk in the past few years and kind of like the idea of being able to put all my belongings into a backpack and move/travel anywhere at a very short notice.
    I have mixed feelings towards the idea of finding a new home.. On one hand it would make life less stressful, and the winter is coming and I have my studies here so I have to stay in the city quite a lot anyway. But on the other hand, rental contracts are usually made for one year at least and that feels too restrictive. I know I'll want to do my internships abroad, go on exchange and travel as much as possible. I have sent an application to a foundation for student housing, but I don't really know why - if my rent was more than 300e per month I wouldn't be able to afford food, bus tickets etc, and in this area even the cheapest student flats are around 450-500e.

    My plan so far is basically to not think about this issue and wait for a miracle.
    Last edited by willekeurig; 11-28-2012 at 10:11 PM.
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    Can't you stay at your friend's house over the Winter? I mean, snowmen can be dangerous without proper shelter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Can't you stay at your friend's house over the Winter? I mean, snowmen can be dangerous without proper shelter.
    Maybe, but I want to see if igloos really are as nice and warm as I've heard they are first.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Maybe, but I want to see if igloos really are as nice and warm as I've heard they are first.
    Congrats on a great sense of humour, but seriously, you consider that?

    And yes, they are warm.

    I mean, you really would spend the Winter in igloo? That's cool, the more people in one, the warmer it is going to get.
    Last edited by Absurd; 11-28-2012 at 10:27 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Congrats on a great sense of humour, but seriously, you consider that?

    And yes, they are warm.
    Haha, the idea popped into my head about a second before I wrote it. But really, living in one even for a short period of time would be epic beyond words. So now I want to try it in any case if we only get proper snow here.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Haha, the idea popped into my head about a second before I wrote it. But really, living in one even for a short period of time would be epic beyond words. So now I want to try it in any case if we only get proper snow here.
    The idea isn't that terrible in itself, but I think I would go more nuts than I am now without nothing to do. I mean, I think I could eat a snowman, not the yellow one though, once. There are no legal repercussion but it would get a bit lonely having no one to talk after I ate him.

    Anyhow, watch for snow, Agarina, watch for snow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    I'll be officially homeless in less than a month. I don't have much property, but I'm thinking about selling/giving away most of my clothes, books etc anyway and living with that money for a while. It doesn't bother me, because I've really grown to hate junk in the past few years and kind of like the idea of being able to put all my belongings into a backpack and move/travel anywhere at a very short notice.
    I have mixed feelings towards the idea of finding a new home.. On one hand it would make life less stressful, and the winter is coming and I have my studies here so I have to stay in the city quite a lot anyway. But on the other hand, rental contracts are usually made for one year at least and that feels too restrictive. I know I'll want to do my internships abroad, go on exchange and travel as much as possible. I have sent an application to a foundation for student housing, but I don't really know why - if my rent was more than 300e per month I wouldn't be able to afford food, bus tickets etc, and in this area even the cheapest student flats are around 450-500e.

    My plan so far is basically to not think about this issue and wait for a miracle.
    Do you know of a bulletin board where people post notices who want to sublet their apartments? Sometimes the rent is cheaper and you won't have to commit to a year long lease. You could post an ad saying you can pay up to 300 for a sublease. A lot of the time those are furnished, too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    My plan so far is basically to not think about this issue and wait for a miracle.
    If I were in your shoes, I would have had multiple ulcers and would require gastric bypass surgery. I'm too much of a far sighted individual to not constantly worry and prepare about what will happen as well as make several plans to that effect.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    If I were in your shoes, I would have had multiple ulcers and would require gastric bypass surgery. I'm too much of a far sighted individual to not constantly worry and prepare about what will happen as well as make several plans to that effect.
    Yeah, I think that's because you're fatter than me an therefore a sensing type. I'm confident in creating ideas and possibilities on the fly, like what happened with that igloo plan. I have an ESI friend who's also like you, constantly worrying and trying to prepare for everything beforehand.

    Last edited by willekeurig; 11-30-2012 at 03:54 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    Yeah, I think that's because you're fatter than me an therefore a sensing type. I'm confident in creating ideas and possibilities on the fly, like what happened with that igloo plan. I have a ESI friend who's also like you, constantly worrying and trying to prepare for everything beforehand.
    Not everything, just the major things.
    This is due to me being

    http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.p...and_farsighted

    Where the above explains that you are Carefree.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 11-30-2012 at 04:11 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    I'll be officially homeless in less than a month. I don't have much property, but I'm thinking about selling/giving away most of my clothes, books etc anyway and living with that money for a while. It doesn't bother me, because I've really grown to hate junk in the past few years and kind of like the idea of being able to put all my belongings into a backpack and move/travel anywhere at a very short notice.
    I have mixed feelings towards the idea of finding a new home.. On one hand it would make life less stressful, and the winter is coming and I have my studies here so I have to stay in the city quite a lot anyway. But on the other hand, rental contracts are usually made for one year at least and that feels too restrictive. I know I'll want to do my internships abroad, go on exchange and travel as much as possible. I have sent an application to a foundation for student housing, but I don't really know why - if my rent was more than 300e per month I wouldn't be able to afford food, bus tickets etc, and in this area even the cheapest student flats are around 450-500e.

    My plan so far is basically to not think about this issue and wait for a miracle.

    Agarina, sounds like maybe your judiciousness regarding this situation may be making an appearance. But I'm sure that if a time comes when you must mobilize yourself, you'll be able to.

    What is it that we really need? Shelter from the elements (weather, harmful others, clothing, etc), food & water, a place to sleep. Comfort can be found in the oddest places, and amongst friends, new & old, ....and sponge baths.
    And, you've already some experience with what to expect based on the road trip portion you took this summer, right? And the stories you'll have to tell!!

    Please take care of yourself, and keep those of us who are concerned for ya, keep us informed once in a while. (Else we'd have to harrass @Aquagraph to seek you out...and I'm sure he'd get you into all sorts of undesired troubles. )

    Oh, and if you do the snow igloo thingie...pics!!
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    . willekeurig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Agarina, sounds like maybe your judiciousness regarding this situation may be making an appearance. But I'm sure that if a time comes when you must mobilize yourself, you'll be able to.

    What is it that we really need? Shelter from the elements (weather, harmful others, clothing, etc), food & water, a place to sleep. Comfort can be found in the oddest places, and amongst friends, new & old, ....and sponge baths.
    And, you've already some experience with what to expect based on the road trip portion you took this summer, right? And the stories you'll have to tell!!

    Please take care of yourself, and keep those of us who are concerned for ya, keep us informed once in a while. (Else we'd have to harrass @Aquagraph to seek you out...and I'm sure he'd get you into all sorts of undesired troubles. )

    Oh, and if you do the snow igloo thingie...pics!!
    Yeah, things will have to work out eventually, one way or another.

    Luckily I can store whatever stuff I need at my parents' place, and also spend the night there every now and then, take showers etc. I can't stand their power plays and strict pointless rules though, and having had to spend extended periods of time in the same space with them has always resulted uglily. But we'll see.

    Otherwise I don't really have a clue what to do though. The idea of ever being able to get a job, let alone carry it out or keep it feels pretty utopistic, not only because of the external conditions, but also my social anxiety and lack of ability to manage practical affairs. I might have to quit my studies so I can get welfare money & be able to afford an apartment, food etc. I'd rather not do that as I enjoy my studies and would like to get the degree as well, but it's starting to look like I have no choice.. If the climate was only nicer I'd be more than happy to live in a tent.

    / pointless whining
    Last edited by willekeurig; 11-30-2012 at 08:16 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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