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Thread: ESIs in relationships

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    lump's Avatar
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    Default ESIs in relationships

    In your experience. I want to hear your stories. The good, the bad, the ugly, the mundane,the exciting.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    They vary a lot according to their level of health and upbringing...(could be said of any type I guess)
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I'm sure, and its important to note that, but I wasn't interested in "the typical esi" so much as just hearing peoples stories. I'm nosy

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    not very emotional (fortunately) but a good caretaker and someone who cares and seeks real bounds not just a temporary passion. A real pain in the ass is that they can be stubborn as a mule. What's more - a really insisting mule. And unfortunately they aren't very dynamic, which sometimes like ties me to my bed. I guess this is why they aren't my duals but anyway I really like the relationship with ESI. My best so far.

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    Well, my cousin is ESI and she tends to be pretty low key and private about her relationships; but from what I have heard (overheard ) over the years is that she tends to stick to one person and fall in love with them so deeply that she isn't at all objective about her possibilities; she usually falls for the wrong men. She's very attractive. Now, she's married to an ESFp and has three kids. She said that "he was the only one she could find who was there" when deciding to marry him. She's desperate for emotional security and that tends to skew her judgement, but it also does the same for a lot of people (love's a crazy thing). I would say that she's religious and keeps a strict family values, all her kids have a private education (she will sacrifice her financial security to provide her kids with a private education, which I wouldn't do); she does a lot of things I wouldn't do. In the current relationship, she's tried hard to enterprise (DS) but she's been unsuccessful at many ventures; she's picked up something that fits her now so that's good. I think she's very emotional (privately), but overall she comes off melancholic, strict, and family loving. She's always been there for everyone and anyone, but she's kind of a burden too because of her risky business ventures that financially crash; opposite to how I am, very risk adverse, extremely plan plan-ny and very unburden-some financially. Um. IDK she doesn't have a good sense for character of other people. She lets herself be used and she lets herself fall in love too easily too. She's hush hush and quiet about her sex life; very religious about her choices (she got pregnant unexpectedly and she fears things wouldn't have an abortion). She experiences strong emotions like I do, but she's way more material, worldly and aesthetic about her self, while I'm more well, um, I could care less and just want the practical things to be fulfilled.

    Taking it from being Gamma, I would say that sexually, she tends to be a lot more like SEE, quiet, conservative when speaking about it, but at the same time uninhibited.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 11-07-2012 at 02:36 PM.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    You gamma need to learn to talk about sex more openly. I want to know what you guys enjoy. I can only get glimpses of info and it's usually with ENTjs and they mostly like light sort of a cross between tying people up and S&M like bondage stuff.

    My mom's INTp and she wasn't the one to give us kids the ole talk about the birds and the bees, it was more like my dad. You can't be so maniacally conservative and embarrassed about something EVERYONE all things in nature do.

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    I can think of one ESI that is probably quite healthy. I don't know her well, but her relationship looks very healthy and mature to me. She hasn't been single since she was 13, but I don't sense any clinginess in her. She sure appreciates her boyfriend and treats him well, but hasn't forgotten to live her own life either. She has an active social life and she seems passionate about the subject she's studying at uni. She left to France for six months (university exchange) and said that she wouldn't even think of skipping an experience like that, and that if the relationship really was "meant to be" it it shouldn't be a problem.

    The three other ESIs I can think of aren't quite as healthy as the first one:
    There's one who suffers from depression and some sort of social anxiety, and she hardly ever leaves her boyfriend's house. The relationship itself sounds really good and loving, but I'm worried about what might happen to her if they break up since neither of them ever goes out or meets other people. Maybe it's just that my thinking is limited and there really are relationships that can fulfill all your needs, but I'm leaning towards slight skepticism.. She's super cool though and jokes about the situation all the time (we talk a lot on Facebook), so at least she 's not unaware of her situations "abnormality".
    Another ESI is some 50+ years old (I think?) and from what I've understood she still cries after her former husband who divorced from her 7 years ago or so. She seems really sad and bitter and I've personally heard her say that her new man is "quite alright" or something but no one could ever replace her husband's place in her heart and that the new man's probably going to leave soon anyway because she's too old for him. Otherwise I don't know much about what their life is like.
    The third unhealthy one is of my age. In high school she had a habit of developing major crushes on older boys and it got quite weird sometimes. There's was one boy she stalked (not in a super creepy "I'm coming to your home"-way tho) for several years, but was too shy to ever talk to him. I doubt he even knew she existed. She didn't know his name so she made up one and talked to me & others for hours about him and how she'd seen him walking down the school corridor or how he almost accidentally touched her in the lunch queue. She said she loved him more than she could ever love anyone. We haven't seen each other in a long time, but I wouldn't be surprised if she still liked him.
    Last edited by willekeurig; 11-10-2012 at 02:12 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    I just made a thread about anal penetration and woof dances naked in tinychat LOL.
    Sometimes I wonder if there should be a subforum for anal penetration
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agarina View Post
    She didn't know his name so she made up one
    lol

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    persistent and pushy.

    can be very giving but if they don't get want they want in return--- they push.

    volatile. love someone unconditionally for a while, until they don't. try very hard to make things works until they stop caring.
    protective.
    and like the mix of being dominat in bed to be being dominated- need someone who is okay with both-- which is why LIEs are awesome... and there should be a lot more of them .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    You gamma need to learn to talk about sex more openly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    I'm sure, and its important to note that, but I wasn't interested in "the typical esi" so much as just hearing peoples stories. I'm nosy
    Yo me too. I am curious to what people think of ESI. I love hearing people's stories about their love lives

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    Dude, I wish I was more open about sex. I know everyone does it. I just find it hard to tie my fantasies with my reality. It's mostly because I care what people think of me, but also at the same time, don't give a shit of stranger's opinions.

    This is coming from an ESI.

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    Lol, am I ESI
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1205528

    Not the same type as @ Lungs, I know that...what's your thoughts Lungs?

    Do I really 'fit' in Gamma? Do I fit anywhere!

    I don't really hold high the notion of marriage nor romantic relationships though they can let you know that the other ❤️ 'S you, desires to be faithful to you alone and wants to create a future together.

    Marriage is more just a society norm mostly from religion it seems where religious environments guide towards marriage.

    I am more about 'best friend', 'soul mate' and 'being in love' rather than relationship for the sake of relationship.

    I view marriage as a good thing for procreation and raising children and
    yes it is a nice idea to still be deeply in love and holding hands at the end of life with someone close.

    But long term relationships and marriage change what one can accomplish in this short life.

    It can build dependency, may create burdens, take freedom and makes one subject to another's wishes/desires/rules they adhere to, not to mention adding extra people as family members and their impact upon your life.

    You cannot put your own needs at the forefront in long term relations, you have to always 'live' within the others expectations and consider them in all matters.

    Do I have a story to share...
    Well I have probably shared many already.

    But here's a short one...I chose my husband for his enthusiasm in chasing me, his humour, his reassurance towards me making me feel secure, his potential to be a good lifelong partner, provider, best friend, father etc and this he has done well.

    Look for the one who you can't live without and if you can live without, then absolutely do!

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    My boyfriend and my sister are ESI. What do I love... hmm. I love the courage of their passions, because once they decide what to do, they'll keep following it, and the world can crumble and burn around them, but they're there. I love their pride, the way they bring themselves which is just so free and in harmony with all the world around, and that always makes me feel like I am embracing the world a bit more, too. I love their insights so much.. which are so real and accurate, when I'd just spend all my time chasing ghosts in my head, I love how they can bring me down in the real world, maintaining a gentle vision to it. I love their love.. because it's deeper than all I've ever seen... and it's all real.

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    I've known some who were very selfish and self-serving while others were self-sacrificing, a few treated as doormats; some who were very passionate with people and others who could only masturbate; some who were brilliant and others who couldn't see beyond their own noses; and some who were inspirational while others destructive. Whether sinner or saint, I did see commonality in their thought processes and how they generally approached issues but they were all so different because of other influences.

    a.k.a. I/O

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