Originally Posted by
Mechman
I gotta say, this happens pretty often with me and it's the main reason I've had so many problems with people throughout my life. I can throw down and have a good time with the best of em, but the second a debate/serious discussion comes up everyone is quick to start getting frustrated with me and I start getting ganged up on and lose friends. I seriously don't get what it is I'm doing wrong. It's not like I'm attacking anyone or being offensive, I'm just telling it how it is or how I see it.
I always get pinned in these sort of situations when it comes down to discussing/debating something and I'm pretty fed up with being banned/losing friends/etc. over having an opinion of my own and not blindly agreeing with everyone else.
I'm wondering if it might be that I try to separate myself from the situation and look at it for what it is. I try not to give in to the emotional atmosphere people try to create when something bad happens(I actually get pretty annoyed by it), so people kind of "team up" if you will and see that I'm not joining their side, so I become the enemy or something. I'm not really sure. Also, I wouldn't say that I try to force my opinion down peoples throats as much as I try to get them to see a different angle and stop being so wrapped up in their emotions.
So can anyone tell me what the deal is?
On a side note, this is what I see in these type of situations: Something bad happens, people start to fuel each other up and agree with each other, I don't buy into it, so they wind up ganging up on me and I basically end up fighting alone against a group of people(this actually happens, not an exaggeration). There always seems to be one or two guys on the side that don't really speak up, who at some point say that they agree with me, during or after the big debate...but usually never really stand in the line of fire like I do. And the one thing that's always bothered me, isn't that I have a group of people ganging up on me as much as it is, I've seen people who were cool with me...friends even, join the group against me. And when that happens our relationship pretty much goes to the gutter. They become friends with their new group and I'm seen as the outcast from then on out. Pretty much why I didn't have any friends in middle school and why I became so docile in my high school years/post high school years, I was tired of being singled out/ganged up on for holding a different opinion than everyone else and being willing to speak up about it, so I just stayed quiet and tried not to have one. I gotta say though, I'm tired of suppressing it, because it isn't natural for me.
Also, does any of this have to do with the Enneagram or Socionics? Any indicator of my type? And what in the world can I do to stop this cycle aside from keeping my mouth shut?
Edit: And to add to the argument I had with the Streamer, part of her argument was, "what he did was illegal." That's gotta be the dumbest argument I've ever heard. I'd bet my bottom dollar she's been around people who smoke weed/drink underage/etc. and did nothing about it. The only reason she wanted to do anything to this kid was because she was all worked up about him ruining her stream for a few minutes. "It's illegal" is just a lame after thought she had in order to justify her cause. I point stuff out like that all the time and it just gets people more pissed. Not sure why though, I'm just trying to see stuff through a crystal lens.
Edit #2: What's also interesting, is I have people agree with stuff similar to what I posted above, but still get pissed when I do it to them. It's ridiculous.