Fuck IEI

[Leader]

FUCK THEM. Hot/Cold bullshit. I rather you just fucking tell me you don't like me instead of playing stupid ass games. Makes me angry, I try to be a nice guy but no one ever respects that shit. They must like to toy with my feelings. Im just going to shit on everybody from now on fuck it.

[Absurd]

Bwahahahahahahaha.

Bwahahahhahahahahahaha.

Bwahahahahahhahahahahahaha.

[ashlesha]

is this a pattern or just one person?

shitting on everyone would probably bring some short term satisfaction but it will eventually come back on you and make things even worse.

what's your avatar btw, it doesn't show up for me

[Saberstorm]

what happened?

[InvisibleJim]

To be honest, I find IEIs that annoying mixture of 'everyone must get along' with 'heres a bundle of perfect ideals which I expect everyone to follow while getting along OR ELSE'. Hence the remarkably poor grip on reality.

They also have that ugly habit of grabbing onto empathy to justify deviating from a promise.

[FoxOnStilts]

lol that's the victim mentally summed up.

[ashlesha]

To be honest, I find IEIs that annoying mixture of 'everyone must get along' with 'heres a bundle of perfect ideals which I expect everyone to follow while getting along OR ELSE'. Hence the remarkably poor grip on reality.

eii is what came to mind when I read this

[InvisibleJim]

eii is what came to mind when I read this

Nah; they have linear decision making paradigms.

[redbaron]

To be honest, I find IEIs that annoying mixture of 'everyone must get along' with 'heres a bundle of perfect ideals which I expect everyone to follow while getting along OR ELSE'. Hence the remarkably poor grip on reality.

They also have that ugly habit of grabbing onto empathy to justify deviating from a promise.

[Leader]

DO I GIVE A FUCK!? NO! FUCK IT

[Leader]

Bwahahahahahahaha.

Bwahahahhahahahahahaha.

Bwahahahahahhahahahahahaha.

Get the fuck out of my thread you swine.

[redbaron]

I'm sorry Agee... it's just this one that's giving you trouble. So much of it has nothing to do with type. You'll find the right one someday.

[Leader]

What....you've been watching too much FUCKING DISNEY! FUCK THAT RIGHT ONE. I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE.

[Leader]

.................................................. .........BITCH PLEASE!

[PistolShrimp]

Plenty of people of other types pull the same hot/cold schtick to rope potential partners in because they get off on making hapless people work for it and on being the one in control. IEIs don't hold the patent on this behavior.

Sure it's tough to find someone who is on the same page as you re: game playing, especially if you are young, and it sucks. But not all IEIs are so...Victim-y. Personally, the only time I find myself being vague with a guy is when my feelings about him are confusing and I can't quite parse them yet. If a guy were to ask me straight-up how I felt about him in that case, I'd be honest, but it's never happened. I don't know many men, especially "nice guys," who have the balls to ask and then simply walk away if they're getting the hot/cold treatment.

Can I get a personalized "fuck off" now?

[Hays]

Life can suck bigtime so I am liking your new user name Agee

No need to focus on finding the right one as there are plenty of right ones in this world who all turn out to be wrong in so many ways. Just be happy with yourself and maybe one day you'll find someone who kind of completes you, ticks all those subconscious boxes and has stolen your heart, until then why bother having your life and feelings etc all stuffed up as you can do more for this world and yourself alone at times or with people who you are not romantically tied up with - so say I somewhat hypocritically as I have mostly been living a pretty ok & sometimes la vida loca with my SO for many years.

[Leader]

Okay. So. In other words. Its best if I just give up and kill myself. Okay. Gotcha. Doing that real soon.

[Leader]

Plenty of people of other types pull the same hot/cold schtick to rope potential partners in because they get off on making hapless people work for it and on being the one in control. IEIs don't hold the patent on this behavior.

Sure it's tough to find someone who is on the same page as you re: game playing, especially if you are young, and it sucks. But not all IEIs are so...Victim-y. Personally, the only time I find myself being vague with a guy is when my feelings about him are confusing and I can't quite parse them yet. If a guy were to ask me straight-up how I felt about him in that case, I'd be honest, but it's never happened. I don't know many men, especially "nice guys," who have the balls to ask and then simply walk away if they're getting the hot/cold treatment.

Can I get a personalized "fuck off" now?

No, you haven't got on my nerves yet.

[Korpsy Knievel]

Okay. So. In other words. Its best if I just give up and kill myself. Okay. Gotcha. Doing that real soon.

Pix

[pericles]

Mind games are for wimps....but that's strange, from my experiences IEI are one of the least likely types to play those Hot/Cold bullshit games, at least consciously .

[Reuben]

I try to be a nice guy

yoda-625x468.jpg

[silverchris9]

IEIs... are as often confused as deliberately deceptive. Although I can imagine a scenario wherein an IEI realizes the advantages gained by ambiguity, and then begins to intentionally "produce" ambivalence, rather than feeling it naturally. You should be able to tell the difference, I think.

In any case, I'm sorry you're having romantic problems. Directness and honesty are the best policies! (on a related note, I've been watching movies lately, and it seems---at least in indie-ish movies---that honest is the new sexy, for real. I think it shows confidence for a man to be upfront about how he feels, and confidence is sexy to women. Also also that's why exaggerated "honesty" doesn't work---it's still not being confident enough, it's still hiding behind something, rather than being honest about feelings).

[Absurd]

Get the fuck out of my thread you swine.

You have me mixed up with some other different member.

[PistolShrimp]

No, you haven't got on my nerves yet.

Well damn. Guess I have to try harder.

I personally think that a lot of those "play games with your man" advice books are tailored to rope in SLEs. They're basically a guide in "how to be frustratingly IEI"

Heh, I could see that. I really have no tolerance for that sort of bullshit anymore, though; doesn't seem like a good way to start a stable long-term relationship with an honest and open line of communication. I'm a failure of an IEI.

[silke]

Okay. So. In other words. Its best if I just give up and kill myself. Okay. Gotcha. Doing that real soon.

sorry agee, life treating you so poorly, not handing you IEIs on a silver platter and making you put in actual effort into your relationships, that's just unfair and it totally warrants throwing a childish tantrum on the forums over it and blaming IEIs for all your troubles

how about instead of whining you either learn and adapt, or suck it up and deal /beta advice

[HandiAce]

I thought you SLEs were on top of the world!

[Aquagraph]

I actually love those games. But it's common to hate what you are constantly bad at and love what you are good at. Hint hint.

All I'm trying to say: You have failed continously, you have a defeatist mentality, have a noose.

[JWC3]

ITT: a self-typed infantile who loves victim games, and a self-typed aggressor who hates them. HMMM...

Gulenko is an idiot. It's true.

[mu4]

Read a few PU artist, you will be able to slay IEI pretty easily. With IEI's you have to walk the line between treating them as a disposable sex object and a princess, the key is to never show weakness except to get them back or until you have them kinda of hooked.
Also, always have another one waiting in the wing.

[ashlesha]

agee is harmless, i dont get why people hate on him so much. he's just young and emotional.

[Absurd]

I thought you SLEs were on top of the world!

Actually they're bottom of the well so one can throw bricks at them.

[pericles]

I dunno. Isn't duality supposed to happen naturally? Playing games to hook someone sounds like what one would do if he/she was to attract someone who's not naturally suited for him/her...

[JWC3]

I was under the impression that romantic styles was one of the few things most people agreed on.

*shrugs* It might be. I think they are very often not in line with observed behavior though. I also view them as 'half-truths' so to speak. To me they are a lot like the definition of Introversion/Extroversion in MBTI. Saying that because someone likes to party they are necessarily extroverted is very superficial criteria and also not universally true of that individual, what if they're depressed and don't want to go out? Are they introverted now? What of the introvert who just feels like cutting loose? Are they now extroverted? Same thing with romantic styles. It all fluxuates based on mood and where a person is in their life. In other words it's too malleable to be of any practical use. It also doesn't account for the individual in it's categorization. Which always bothers me.

[JWC3]

But like everything else behavioural in socionics, it's not supposed to predict anything with certainty, just identify natural, default behaviours and preferences, where the individual feels comfortable most of the time and what they end up doing most often. Recurring patterns and tendencies in behaviour, not restrictive/prescriptive behavioural limits.

I suppose I gave them too much credit. You're right. I just don't think they describe a pattern of individual behavior at all. A lot like some extroverts never really want to party and some introverts always do. Well that in mind, I suppose it does describe a pattern but in my experience it's just not a pattern that matches up with reality the way it purports to. For example ITT Agee hating cat n mouse even though he's suppose to love that shit. Maybe agee never ever will love cat and mouse, which is a pattern of behavior that is described by romance styles, but isn't the correct one that is supposed to apply to agee.

For me personally, I'm all over the place. I can say with some certainty that I don't enjoy being the less forward one, I.E. the victim, as I shouldn't enjoy. I however very much will be incredibly forward, act in a way that incites the other to take care of me, or act to take care of others without entwining my own needs into that behavior. My behavior is much more dependent on my mood and the other person, I adapt to external and internal input. There is no rule to behavioral adaptation.

[JWC3]

My personal suspicion is that Agee isn't SLE, but anyway.

I personally don't really relate to the non-quadra-specific romance style descriptions, but I like the specific ones - the beta NF one is uncannily accurate for me.

Link?

[Ryan]

FUCK THEM. Hot/Cold bullshit. I rather you just fucking tell me you don't like me instead of playing stupid ass games. Makes me angry, I try to be a nice guy but no one ever respects that shit. They must like to toy with my feelings. Im just going to shit on everybody from now on fuck it.

The first point of contact is supposedly always in the role function. For SLEs, it's Ne. You have to look original, innovative, like an ILE. Make unexpected jokes, show off your talents if you have some, and most importantly tell stories and talk a lot about how you got out of unusual situations by finding original solutions. IEIs listen intentively to such stories, even if they are not sitting next to you. They are great listeners and will evaluate you accordignly.

If they don't know you then that increases your chances of being rejected, hence talk about yourself a lot if they show a sign of interest. Otherwise, they will reject you if you don't seem good enough for them. But in any case, they won't ask you out even if they are interested, especially IEI girls.

For your part, you have to keep the conversation going when they talk about Si: Fashion, design, fitness, movies and all that jazz. For example, if they talk about what happened on their last hiking trip, or how fast they drive, just ask questions and be interested in what they're talking about. That should do it.

Also, the hot/cold thing is just their Fe. Someday they will be all warm and affectionate and the next they will back off completely. You can't help it. They like to take things slowly, i.e. not prone to take drastic steps. Don't let that discourage you. You have to take the relationship to another level if you want to be with them. They will react accordingly. When they are welcoming, take the initiative and ask them out.

[ashlesha]

"I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I think, that to keep it alive though, you can’t spend every day together. It wears out the magic, Love means nothing to me if it’s not fortified with fierce, painful longing, brief explosive instances of furious passion and intimacy and then a sad parting for a time. In that way, you can give your life to it and still have a life of your own. I think some couples spend too much time together. They flatten out the potential for experience by constant closeness. Passion builds over time like steam. Let it rage until it’s exhausted and then leave it alone to let it build up again. Why can’t love be insane and distorted? How can it be vital if it has the same threshold as normal day-to-day experience? Why can’t you write burning letters and let your nocturnal self smolder with desire for one who is not there? Why not let the days before you see her be excruciating and ferment in your mind so on the day you go to the airport to pick her up, you’re nearly sick with anticipation? And then when desire shows the first sign of contentment, throw it back in its cage and let it slowly build itself back into a state of starved fury. Then when you are together, it all matters. So that when you look into her eyes, you lose your balance, so that when she touches you, it feels like you have never been touched before. When she says your name, you think it was she who named you. When she has gone, you bury your face in the pillow to smell her hair and you lie awake at night remembering your face in her neck, her breathing and the amazing smell of her skin. Your eyes go wet because you want her so bad and miss her so much. Now that is worth the miles and the time. That matches the inferno of life. Otherwise you poison each other with your presence day after day as you drag each other through the inevitable mundane aspects of your lives. That is the slow death that I see slapped on faces everywhere I go. It’s part of the world’s sadness that’s more empty than cold, poorly lit rooms in cities of the American night."

betas really are fucking insane lol.

[InvisibleJim]

betas really are fucking insane lol.

Yes!

[tcaudilllg]

Not all IEIs play power games. Look up Esper if you want an IEI who isn't into head games. She has a heart and soul as pure as the driven snow. You're playing with the game-players, the infatuating crowd. They are into the design of power: lust and affection are ingredients in their control apparatus. This goes beyond IEI: it's the manifestation of an entirely different trait.

If you really want to understand what you're dealing with, check out Nami from One Piece. Pay particular attention to how she manipulates the crew: that's what's happening to you, man!

[Aquagraph]

ITT: a self-typed infantile who loves victim games, and a self-typed aggressor who hates them. HMMM...

Observant! I must add that few in number are the things I don't love!