Getting to know your quadra members

[nickelslick]

I'm looking to make some new friends and socionics seems useful for that. What I'm wondering is if sticking to your quadra is really the most optimal way to go...

I can respect and appreciate my fellow LIIs from a distance, but often we have really conflicting views on life in general and we're not very likely to influence each other very easily. It doesn't make just hanging out seem like it would be very easy. In certain cases they can play the role of mentor to me, as I've discovered in an Identity friendship I had, but that's not something I'm constantly in need of.

On the other hand, while I don't know that many ILEs, hkkmr seems like a really easy going guy who loves food as much as I do and who wouldn't expect me to be very socially graceful. I feel like we could disagree on philosophical and political issues and still be good friends. Is it likely that mirror could be this way? A bonus in this situation is that "acting natural" would be easy and that would make connecting with Alpha SFs a whole lot easier....

Activity seems like another easy relationship. Similar interests and I wouldn't be too far out of my depth socially because SEIs are introverted too.

Duality: I'm most uncertain about this. Is it good for anything other than a romantic involvement? ESEs just seem so very different. They are like that one person you find in a foreign land who speaks your language, they can be a great help but they're still from a very alien world. That's my impression anyway.

How do you relate to your quadra mates?

[nickelslick]

[PistolShrimp]

I get to know people regardless of quadra, and try to get along with everyone. I don't know many Betas aside from my IEI ex bf, my SLE dad and my LSI little bro, though. Most of my friends are Alphas and Gammas.

If you're looking to make new friends, it's probably best to forget about Socionics entirely and just follow your own interests in a social way (volunteering, Meetup groups etc.). You will likely naturally meet compatible people.

[Aquagraph]

Alpha SFs are retarded.
Alpha NTs are socially crippled geeks.
Alphas are useless.

[1981slater]

ILEs: I think there are few of us. I tend to clash with them in the early stages of the "friendship" and then we chill out and are cool with each other
LIIs: easy to spot, I find them really open minded and tend to make friends with them easily and quickly
ESEs: easy to spot, anything I do or say pleases them, and viceversa
SEIs: hard to spot, pleasant relationship

[Nowisthetime]

I'm looking to make some new friends and socionics seems useful for that. What I'm wondering is if sticking to your quadra is really the most optimal way to go...

Yes, it is probably the best way to go. By getting to know your own quadra you will meet their friends, so more alphas. At some point you will meet an alpha that you are compatible with also non-socionically speaking. That's when you get a new friend/lover.

On the other hand, while I don't know that many ILEs

Don't draw too much conclusions based on a few people.

Activity seems like another easy relationship. Similar interests and I wouldn't be too far out of my depth socially because SEIs are introverted too.

Activation is activation. It's easy to start. Very common relationship. My oldest friend is LII. But difference in rationality can be a problem after awile.

Duality: I'm most uncertain about this. Is it good for anything other than a romantic involvement? ESEs just seem so very different. They are like that one person you find in a foreign land who speaks your language, they can be a great help but they're still from a very alien world. That's my impression anyway.

It's the best, but harder to start. My LII friend has gotten to know his ESE cousin lately and they are having a great time. They are not that alien after all. The surprise comes when you start to actually get to know each other and react the way that's natural to you. But it can take time. It's like the descriptions say. Slowly the feeling grows that you want to spend more and more time with the dual.

How do you relate to your quadra mates?

I'm most for duality and identity. But not with every person I meet of that type. But when things happen, it's usually with these types.

[Creepy-pokeball]

[Creepy-Snaps]

What I'm wondering is if sticking to your quadra is really the most optimal way to go...

Sure. You can still be friends with everyone if you learn how to switch types and quadra-hop.

Nah, I find it fulfilling to develop relationships with people even opposite my quadra. '... but keep your enemies closer'. I've found it rewarding to learn how other people naturally perceive the world, and it has helped open my eyes to things I wasn't aware of.

[Beautiful sky]

image

what the heck is that?

[Beautiful sky]

Duality: I'm most uncertain about this. Is it good for anything other than a romantic involvement? ESEs just seem so very different. They are like that one person you find in a foreign land who speaks your language, they can be a great help but they're still from a very alien world. That's my impression anyway.

How do you relate to your quadra mates?

I look at duality as substitution; "hay, do this because I suck at it, please. I'll love you forever if you do." That's what you should be looking for.

It doesn't take a brainy person to figure out how unorganized I am, how less I focus on prioritizing and how unsure I am of aesthetics. Combined equals Te seeking, weak sensory perception.

[Creepy-pokeball]

what the heck is that?

Betas raping a dead horse. The horse is probably the 4rth quadra mate, lol.

[Creepy-pokeball]

Take you meds lol

[Galen]

In general the best relationships come from same-quadra members, or at least types with compatible subtypes if you're into that part of the game. I say this very loosely, as there are always going to be outside factors that better determine how two people get along (I look to Enneagram instinctual subtypes as perhaps the biggest factor).

[Creepy-pokeball]

In terms of intraquadral relations, I generally prefer the company of ILEs and SEIs more than EIEs... maybe it's enneagram-related, kind of like Galen suggested, I hate E3s and so many EIEs are E3...

Most of them are 6's, in my personal experience. I met one eight. That was..... "interesting"

I tend to dislike being around 3s too much, too, though. Of the assertive triad, I'd choose to be around an 8 instead of another 7 or a 3. 8s are usually less complicated to deal with.

[Gilly]

Most of them are 6's, in my personal experience. I met one eight. That was..... "interesting"

Yeah EIE 8s are definitely "interesting" lol

Idk though IMO there are more 3s than 6s among EIEs; I actually think a lot of EIE 3s get mistaken for 8s, like ****** seems to have bee by a lot of people. They forget that the reason ****** was elected was all about the image he presented of being "the most German of Germans" despite not technically fulfilling the racial Aryan requirements. 3s often share a lot of characteristics with 8s, as I have found even in myself as I grow: subtle, almost subconscious drive against being dominated, used, or "beaten" in the slightest way, even when it comes to petty social situations or the like; they tend to want to be the Alpha. They both tend to become detached and highly controlled during these situations and will do pretty much anything within reason, sometimes more.

I tend to dislike being around 3s too much, too, though.

Understandable, lol...

Of the assertive triad, I'd choose to be around an 8 instead of another 7 or a 3. 8s are usually less complicated to deal with.

Yeah I actually experience most 8s as being very easy to deal with, I would say they are more uncomplicated on the surface though; not so much underneath, they tend to IMO have the thickest webs of vulnerability triggers for those close to them and can be real sticklers about how others treat them.

[nickelslick]

Thanks for your replies! I will look into enneagram typing.

[Absurd]

****** wasn't even German to begin with plus he stated more than once that Nordics are dumb.