Sam calmly walked up to Sean's gritty new york apartment and rang the doorbell. The city folk all moved fast and narcissistically and not what he was used to. It shocked him a little, but nothing he couldn't handle.
They said you have to risk your heart for love to find you. With love comes a little pain, a little risk and a little danger or everybody would say 'Gay' and turn off the television set. You have to take the plunge into the abyss. Sam knew that as he was writing this, as he was doing this- some overly critical english professor teacher who smokes too much would criticize him. In a way it was sort of erotic. Blow smoke on the submissive's face whle you tell them what's wrong with him and what he needs to do better to be as perfect and well-liked as Miley Cyrus. You can't take it too seriously and you have to find the fun in it. You see through them and they see through you in shocking colorful ways and it builds up tension.
But for Sam, and maybe Sam only this was serious. This was about love, the tender heart that if broken open you feel so much agony and pain and defeat. But Sam knew that he had close friends to lift him up if he got down. Sometimes we all need a hand to inspire us back on our feet, it's not a weakness right. If this all turned to shit, Vero could rightfully chastise him about this while sipping a cappuccino and pushing up her eyeglasses.
"I know love makes you vulnerable Sean, but that's not the point-" No stupid Sam, no. Don't say that. It's too deep. You just want to lift his construction worker pits and inhale them deeply. What you have is physical as much as it is emotional and spiritual.
Sean answered the door in a wife beater. He was a little chubby but so was Sam, but they both didn't give a fuck. "Sup?" Sean said like a masculine gay porn star. He didn't seem too thrilled to see Sam there, but he didn't push him away either. He had that cool 'whatever man, either way is fine approach' urban attitude that city dwellers have and it was so hot.
This was Sam's dual, all right. A gay man that was actually masculine and grounded but still loving like him. A gay man that liked to be a Warrior class in rpgs. That was Sean's real super powers as it was about the merging of the Real World with the Fantasy World, aka THE TRUE WORLD. (everybody in the audience gasps at the cleverness of that)
And since Sam's core essence was a Healer, a Tank/Healer combination always worked narcisisstically and idealstically and beautifully and every -ally you wanna call it, under the sun.. well. It just fit. They were a match. Subterranean lit a match.
If they weren't a match, Sam wouldn't have answered his phone those many moons ago. Why didn't he answer his phone (or be asked to talk on the phone, or ask to talk on the phone) for mune or crispy or aquagraph or galen or Gilly or Nick. Why HIM??? Why Sean?
BECAUSE HE WAS MEANT TO BE IN LOVE WITH THIS HOT HUNK OF BEEF.
Dolphin, Octo and Starfall all swoon from their 'Yay you can do it Sam I believe in you!' friendship vantage points. They faint and sigh like girls and write things in their Lisa Frank notebooks about it that you will never have access to.
Sam gulped. "Sean? Remember me..." His eyes wide open in fear not realizing that he was actually manning up and doing this. Sean shook his head and just smiled the way the hunk did in the Carly Rae Jepsen video.
Sam played the best card he knew how to play: He cut to the fucking chase even if it was wrapped up in a pretty ribbon. (Shut the fuck up social workers) "You said I had a cute voice over the phone. You were flirting with me and I was flirting with you. I know other people want me to get a real job and get over my romantic obsessions but I can't. I'm in love with you."
Sean loved Sam's honesty and how he didn't talk about his degrees and external successes all the time like Juju did (sorry Juju =( please forgive me for that barb). Of course he also wanted Sam to get a real job too but... he loved him back. He really did.
"Whoah yeah. But what the fuck are you doing here man. You don't know how to call first?" Sean laughed and Sam's asshole instinctively started to twitch while his heartbeat thumped a billion miles a minute.
"I'm sorry, I just... if I called it was like I was afraid I would talk myself out of it. What have you been doing with your life? You can be real you know..." (look of ultimate Beta knowing)
Sean looked into Sam's eyes and immediately said: "I'm feeling sorry for myself because I don't wanna be gay because unlike the common psychological perception of gay men I'm so macho and hot (even though I like Disney movies) and im just kinda feeling sorry for myself browsing obscure internet websites that nobody else cares that exists. And probably having lame hook-ups with guys who don't give a shit about me and I don't give a shit about them we're just hurting each other cuz we're too afraid to tell the one we really love how we really feel..."
Sean's gaze drifted away for a moment and then he looked deeply into Sam's eyes again as if to say: Help me stop cutting myself with your Gay Shaman Healing Powers. Please. I'm so tired... of taking it on, of taking on all the physicality of the world. RELEASE THIS OFF ME, TAKE IT OFF AND LIGHTEN MY LOAD. I NEED YOU JUST AS MUCH AS YOU NEED ME.
"Er me too" Sam said sheepishly. He stopped being insecure, just a little bit. Realizing that nobody else was watching them even if they kinda were paradoxically at the same time. This is what happens when you step into the True World of love. (Not 'realistic' or 'fantastical' but when the two worlds collide and fit together and you realize there's no war between them anymore, cuz the person you're looking at has your back in all of them.)
"Mind if I come in?" Sam asked, feeling half-way like a real man and half-way like Eve eating the apple for the first time.
end of chapter 1
((There was no part of that that wasn't fun. More chapters might come later but if not, don't you love estp/infp true gay love duality?))
((It would be so cool if Dolphin or woofwoofl or wookie or somebody that understands the essence of the adventures purely writes more chapters but I won't beg.)) *Pretends to look at the light fixture*