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Thread: A few things I've learned about myself

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Default A few things I've learned about myself

    This weekend/Monday blew hard. Not in a tragic way, more like first world problems. I just got done moving a little more than an hour ago. My roommates and I had from Friday to Monday to get everything to the new apt and clean the place. Oh and it was my cousin's wedding on Sunday. Anyhow, without a real blow by blow on boring shit, it mostly constituted me moving half of the shit in the apartment myself and my brother and other roommate just sort of milling around with a little wedding drama mixed in.


    Let's skip to the conclusions though. I found out that I don't like it when people are weak or too soft. It's dickish to say but this weekend sort of highlighted a lot of the issues I have with my brother and I feel bad because I love the guy and he's generous and giving but he really is soft. Part of me wonders if I'm being too hard on him. He really is a good guy but he's shitty in situations that require action or just putting one foot in front of the other. I guess the way it popped in my head at one point was this: my brother is responsible but not practical at all, whereas I'm practical but just too damn irresponsible. I procrastinate like a son of a bitch, but if something has to be done by some time else bad things happen I set my mind to the grindstone. My brother is more proactive about completing stuff, unless it requires more than a phone call or an email or paperwork. He lacks intensity and wants to be taken care of, whereas I want to be independent and I vary by mood when I want to really push myself or relax. There's got to be a better way to explain that. The words there are too small.


    Uh more concretely, I just kept plowing through everything we had to get done. The task was simple: get everything out of the old apartment to the new apartment which was literally like 200 feet away, both apartments were on the top (3rd floor). Knowing that I had my parents coming Saturday morning with a trailer and having helped shit tons of people move, I had like 75% of my stuff packed, everything big cleared off ready to haul. They showed up and it was smooth as silk. My brother otoh had a few things boxed and I had to disassemble his bed and we got maybe a quarter of his stuff out. Basically I moved everything of mine and half of his stuff while he kept talking about how his feet hurt. God this is boring even typing it. I'm just bitching my brother out.


    Basically I feel like I have to baby my brother and one of my sisters just is so goddamn touchy and can't enjoy herself at weddings, like stating how obnoxious another table was b/c they kept banging and making noise until the bride and groom kissed or storming out of the reception during the bouquet toss b/c my cousin cheered her on to go up there. Then they did the garter toss and my brother just kept asking questions about what it was despite the two other cousins' weddings we'd been to and he didn't even go out there, then as I'm heading back to the table, my one sister is back crying/pissed and wants to leave and she rode with my parents so they have to go and I drove my brother and don't know the way back without following someone, so my entire family winds up leaving without even saying goodbye or congratulating the bride (my cousin). Oh, and it was an open bar, some of the bridesmaids were really gorgeous and the dude/lady ratio was fortuitous. Total clusterfuck imo. Yeah this is all a pointless post where I whine about shit.


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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Ahhh, brotherly love.

    You should have stayed in the wedding imo, as you said the bridesmaids were really gorgeous....so.... How old is your brother?
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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Twin brother, so 28.

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    My sister that freaked is 27 and I think EII or maybe ESI. She has kind of temperamental snap reactions to a lot of things where she'll cut you out for a while or ever depending on how bad you trigger her. In fact, you could probably count the number of sentences she's directly spoken to my youngest sister (SEE?) on both hands in the last 10 years. It's fucking weird because she's trying to buy a house and my other sister is the realty agent and they both call my mom to pass on messages to one another. For all the animosity between the two of them it's funny how alike they are.

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    Marxist Ne’er-do-well Red Villain's Avatar
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    So, like.... is there a reason for sharing this?
    "We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.".

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Twin brother, so 28.
    Well then the whole bunch were old enough to get back to wherever they needed on their own. You should have spent some quality time there, you are not responsible for your family member actions. Well, on the bright side, there is probably a version of this universe where you actually did that. So there, lets all clap to that guy.
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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grandpa Rob View Post
    So, like.... is there a reason for sharing this?
    It's "sharing is caring month" on 16types.
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    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
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    Family sucks. Whereas a lot of people think I'm too soft and weak, I tend to think they are being a bully or are too rude and full of themselves, or white trash and undignified. It's like everything is a battle between "straight" and "gay" in my head and it's like a war field between the softies and the hardies. I will just end up constantly telling everybody to "Get over themselves" especially if I see them targeting some weak pillow-y person... or doing something really morally corrupt and self-absorbed. And then yeah you have the person trying to protect the weakling like wanting to do the good thing and not be an ass but it's frustrating like 'go take care of yourself!'

    Maybe you could notice situations where your bro is being more kick ass and headstrong and compliment him on it? Like "doesn't that feel good" in a way that doesn't sound like you're being dick-ish. I don't know.

    I have this theory that dickish emotionally closed off people don't know how to be vulnerable/truly connect because they weren't given enough encouragement on the times when they *weren't* being asses, and like soft shy weaklings are overly timid/not independent enough because they didn't get enough real support that they could be any different. It's about inspiring each other, and everybody giving up their roles as bullies/victims/victimizers and rescuers. Not so much about 'caring' as it is about fostering positive can-do attitudes in each other.

    Ahhh my family gets on my nerves so much. I know I'm supposed to have this ideal about them but I'm more like Joss Whedon: I believe in found families.
    Last edited by Hot Scalding Gayser; 06-05-2012 at 12:53 PM.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Mune, you sound like me in that situation.

    So you're a twin. Fraternal?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon Ssmall View Post
    Well then the whole bunch were old enough to get back to wherever they needed on their own. You should have spent some quality time there, you are not responsible for your family member actions. Well, on the bright side, there is probably a version of this universe where you actually did that. So there, lets all clap to that guy.
    Ha yeah they are. It was a ways out from where we all live though, about 80 miles or so and I was one of the drivers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Grandpa Rob View Post
    So, like.... is there a reason for sharing this?
    Because I wanted to vomit my feelings all over you, G Rob.
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Mune, you sound like me in that situation.

    So you're a twin. Fraternal?
    Fraternal yeah.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post

    Fraternal yeah.
    I have fraternal girls. They're 12 1/2.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    EffyCold thePirate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Uh more concretely, I just kept plowing through everything
    THAT MAKES TWO OF US
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Park's Avatar
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    Okay.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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