So, ages ago in chatbox I was talking to @bionicgerbil and @Aquagraph about slash fiction starring them... I started writing, got stuck, took a break then forgot all about it. I just found it again and I thought I'd post it - it's not very good and I don't really know how to continue with it, but I thought it might amuse some of you, or at least be a momentary diversion on the road to the grave...
Love in a Cold Climate - In Which Our Heroes Freeze Their Balls Off in Helsinki
His eyes searched the darkened cafe for inspiration, but found none; instead, they rested on a hairy 30-something man, who somehow managed to be completely not-creepy. Maybe I can get a cigarette off that guy, Aqua thought. It'll be enough to tide me over til I get home. Might even ward off the cold a bit.
"Hey man, can I sit here?" The completely non-creepy guy jumped at the interruption. Aqua noticed that he too had a Moleskine under his arm.
"Uh, sure. I'm bg," the man stammered. "Not that you asked or anything, uh, sorry, you didn't need to know my name. Forget I said anything." He took a massive gulp of his coffee - luckily, it was cold, like everything else in Finland.
Aqua slid into the empty chair in a way that managed to be both graceful and clumsy, like a clothes rack collapsing onto foam rubber. "Hi bg, I'm Aqua. You're not from around here, are you?" he asked, trying to give a friendly smile. Too much teeth? Fuck it, I don't know anymore. I probably look like a shark. Fuck, I need a drink.
"Um, no... some guy on an internet forum promised to find a dumpster... uh, that made no sense. Sorry. I'm from America, I mean. Finland is, uh, pretty. I mean, it's pretty when it's not dark. Which it is. The whole time I've been here. I mean, it's different..." bg trailed off. He rearranged his arms nervously, sending the papers in front of his aflutter. A pen dropped on the ground. A LOLcat peeked from beneath a crumpled map. Bg cleared his throat and tried to look out the window in what he hoped was a thoughtful and not-awkward manner. He wished Aqua would stop staring at him. What was he staring at? Was there food in his beard? Bg moved his arms again, accidentally brushing his Moleskine onto the ground, where it landed with a deliberate thud. He froze.
"You're a writer? May I?" Aqua inquired with what he hoped was casual curiosity...
(I originally planned that they'd admire each other's hipster poetry (Aqua - terse and over-literal, bg - lyrical and full of inexplicable references to LOLcats) then burn their eyebrows off trying to light a joint from the fireplace. Aqua has fourteen hip flasks of hard liquor hidden all over his body. At some point woof turns up with the orgy dumpster.)