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Thread: How do you react when someone questions your self-typing?

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    High Priestess glam's Avatar
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    Question How do you react when someone questions your self-typing?

    i've noticed people react differently when their self-typing is questioned. some people take others' input seriously, while others are more dismissive. some people willingly engage in typing discussions, while others seem to avoid them. some want to convince others they are a certain type, while others approach it as a way to bounce ideas back & forth. some don't care/aren't affected by it, while others get defensive. some enjoy the attention, while others shy away from talking about themselves. it may cause some people to become less certain about their type, while others remain quite sure about their self-typing. etc.

    i also think a lot of people may not be completely honest with themselves about how it affects them. e.g. someone might claim they "don't care", but when someone else doesn't agree with their self-typing, their reaction might show otherwise.

    so try and think about yourself & your reactions as honestly as you can.

    (i was going to do an anonymous poll but i came up w/too many options that made it unwieldy.)

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    I'll listen, and if they make a good argument i'll give it credence. But i know i understand myself better than anyone, so it doesn't ruffle me feathers if someone thinks i'm self-typing wrong.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    when people question my type i'm most bothered when i feel like the following things are happening:

    1. they are obviously willfully or ignorantly blowing off certain aspects of my personality/thought patterns that i KNOW they've seen because they prefer theory to reality.
    2. they are doing it to further some agenda of their own, such as typing me in a way that validates their own self-typing, or typing me in a way that is better aligned with other people they agree with.
    3. they type me in a way that is inconsistent with how they've typed other people and in a way that puts me in a further away intertype relation and i take it personally.

    i really don't like that it bothers me so much but trying not to let it get to me just leads to being bitchy anyway. if i think somebody is being independent and unbiased and in touch with reality while they're typing me i don't mind, but those three qualities in tandem are frankly something i don't see very often around here. and i don't like admitting i ever get bothered by it because i don't want to prevent people from speaking their mind. but it is what it is.

    i try to remember that most people really do think that they're coming from a place of logic and impartiality even though i think that putting impartiality and socionics together in the same sentence is ridiculous.

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    Depends who it is, how it's phrased, what type they say...
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
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    Quote Originally Posted by glam View Post
    i've noticed people react differently when their self-typing is questioned. some people take others' input seriously, while others are more dismissive. some people willingly engage in typing discussions, while others seem to avoid them. some want to convince others they are a certain type, while others approach it as a way to bounce ideas back & forth. some don't care/aren't affected by it, while others get defensive. some enjoy the attention, while others shy away from talking about themselves. it may cause some people to become less certain about their type, while others remain quite sure about their self-typing. etc.

    i also think a lot of people may not be completely honest with themselves about how it affects them. e.g. someone might claim they "don't care", but when someone else doesn't agree with their self-typing, their reaction might show otherwise.

    so try and think about yourself & your reactions as honestly as you can.

    (i was going to do an anonymous poll but i came up w/too many options that made it unwieldy.)

    My perspective's changed on it.

    Originally it was cool to have the attention of people trying to analyse me and enjoyable confronting them with a goal of convincing them and I even had the goal of trying to learn more about the theory in this way of practicing the theory. So for these reasons I took their input and analysed it in a serious way even if I was certain about my self typing. But I got tired of all those possible options and blahblahblah. So it became annoying and I became very dismissive after a while. It's all a process, heh.

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    Happens like every day lol. It's not something I 'react' to, it's just part of being on this forum.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    Happens like every day lol. It's not something I 'react' to, it's just part of being on this forum. i change my self-typing and make a thread about it.
    fixed

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    Doesn't mean much in itself so long as they take into account my experiences instead of writing such experiences off. That's when I get pissed off. Because I feel to disregard those experiences shows a lack of interest in truly getting to know me which renders trying to pin a type as a presumptuous gesture done out of self-satisfaction and without a true regard for me or for the truth.

    But if someone made the effort to sit down, really, so to speak, and make a good investigation and to work with me one to one instead of shutting out my input and being dismissive, it shows me that the person has a genuine interest in the process, in finding the truth, and that in itself I appreciate. It indicates respect towards me and towards this theory.

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    Quote Originally Posted by glam View Post
    i've noticed people react differently when their self-typing is questioned. some people take others' input seriously, while others are more dismissive.
    Some people are going to be dismissive for how can you take other's input seriously when they themselves aren't serious at all bouncing off every quadra there is like some bunnies on cocaine and offering "evidence" against one's self-typing?

    some people willingly engage in typing discussions, while others seem to avoid them.
    Looks like some people have a lot to say and some not so much.

    some want to convince others they are a certain type
    Maritsa.

    while others approach it as a way to bounce ideas back & forth. some don't care/aren't affected by it, while others get defensive.


    some enjoy the attention, while others shy away from talking about themselves
    That's easily noticeable.

    it may cause some people to become less certain about their type, while others remain quite sure about their self-typing. etc.
    Like I said a few times before, the greatest of socionics fanatics have usually the most doubts.

    i also think a lot of people may not be completely honest with themselves about how it affects them. e.g. someone might claim they "don't care", but when someone else doesn't agree with their self-typing, their reaction might show otherwise.
    I don't pay much attention as to how some members self-type for I know it is going to change after some time. New type, new person. And, of course, there are some I'm quite interested in. Those are mostly people I have had the displeasure or pleasure interacting with. The former can draw their terminal breath as far as I am concerned, the latter I'm going to kill the former with so it is fine.

    As for my reaction, it's in the beginning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wookie View Post
    Doesn't mean much in itself so long as they take into account my experiences instead of writing such experiences off. That's when I get pissed off. Because I feel to disregard those experiences shows a lack of interest in truly getting to know me which renders trying to pin a type as a presumptuous gesture done out of self-satisfaction and without a true regard for me or for the truth.

    But if someone made the effort to sit down, really, so to speak, and make a good investigation and to work with me one to one instead of shutting out my input and being dismissive, it shows me that the person has a genuine interest in the process, in finding the truth, and that in itself I appreciate. It indicates respect towards me and towards this theory.
    oh yes, I too hate it when they don't take into account my experiences. I suppose I would not be so dismissive if someone approached me in this way, at least I would appreciate their intent, though I would still see no point in this anymore heh.

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    I don't have a problem with it. Everyone can have their opinion and it's certainly interesting to know why they think that way. That's why we're all here, right? To discuss personality typology and what would be more interesting than analyzing the people of our own community. So if anyone has some good arguments why I am type x, I'd like to hear them.

    But it can be very annoying if those people use every occasion to remind you that they type you different. That didn't happen to me personally, but to other forum members here. That's a point where no discussions make any sense, since the typology system is too vague in itself to prove anything. You just have to agree to disagree.
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
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    I try to find out why they think I'm another type and explain why I am not. If none of my reasoning gets through to them, they're probably just an idiot.

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    I don't care for the most part, it's not so much about questioning my self typing as it is why and how they go about it. There's a difference between questioning your typing and someone being adamant you are another type - the level of certainty should correlate with an explanation of the same caliber to boot. A good number of members here engage in erroneous typing habits, such as typing people based whether or not they like another person, their interactions with different members on here, hate typing, and herd mentality typing (amongst a few others). There's also a bias as to where, given enough time with a certain typing, members will eventually start to see you as that type as long as you don't act too erratically beyond the limits of what that type is traditionally thought of. It's much easier to brush off people's typing's on here due to acknowledging the biased nature of this place - although the rather persistent ones that incorporate these are the ones that tend to get on my nerves. There's only a couple of people on here who legitimately 'question' types in the right way - those that remains objective, unbiased, and essentially come from a place of attempting to get to know the person vs their forum persona. They ask to get to know rather than to back up a preconceived notion/don't make assumptions as to why you do something and prioritize them over your reasoning (suggestions, however, are different). Those are the people who I like talking to about my type, and who I genuinely gain knowledge from interacting with, even if it doesn't lead to anything tangibly related to a typing.
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    I had a six-page What's My Type? thread where people typed me: LII, ILI, EII, IEI, SEI, ILE, IEE, with most people insisting that I'm Alpha. It didn't bother me much because I learned a lot from people's typings and explanations of them. I'm always willing to hear out people who think I'm mistyped, though I'll likely disagree with them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by glam View Post
    i also think a lot of people may not be completely honest with themselves about how it affects them. e.g. someone might claim they "don't care", but when someone else doesn't agree with their self-typing, their reaction might show otherwise.

    so try and think about yourself & your reactions as honestly as you can.
    At some point while dabbling in socionics I've come to a realization that this three-letter abbreviation located below your avatar - TIM - stands for "type of information metabolism". It does not stand for "type of personality" or "type of person that you are". It does not define who you are as an individual. This is why one can encounter so much diversity of character among people of same socionics tim. As I've become increasingly aware of the nature of socionics type and the limitations of the theory, placing much importance on my typing seemed senseless.

    And at the end of the day when you close your browser and leave this forum, nothing much is going to change in your life whether you have been typed IEE or SEI or ILI or EII or anything else. As far as the real world is concerned out there, socionics types are ineffectual.

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    At some point while dabbling in socionics I've come to a realization that this three-letter abbreviation located below your avatar - TIM - stands for "type of information metabolism". It does not stand for "type of personality" or "type of person that you are". It does not define who you are as an individual. This is why one can encounter so much diversity of character among people of same socionics tim. As I've become increasingly aware of the nature of socionics type and the limitations of the theory, placing much importance on my typing seemed senseless.

    And at the end of the day when you close your browser and leave this forum, nothing much is going to change in your life whether you have been typed IEE or SEI or ILI or EII or anything else. As far as the real world is concerned out there, socionics types are ineffectual.
    ive never seen you say anything that contrasts with this post, but i see other people putting forth similar sentiments in order to placate me only to make posts like the next day bitching about their conflictor or something and its really irritating lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs
    when people question my type i'm most bothered when i feel like the following things are happening:

    1. they are obviously willfully or ignorantly blowing off certain aspects of my personality/thought patterns that i KNOW they've seen because they prefer theory to reality.
    2. they are doing it to further some agenda of their own, such as typing me in a way that validates their own self-typing, or typing me in a way that is better aligned with other people they agree with.
    3. they type me in a way that is inconsistent with how they've typed other people and in a way that puts me in a further away intertype relation and i take it personally.
    Quote Originally Posted by wookie View Post
    ...[]...so long as they take into account my experiences instead of writing such experiences off. That's when I get pissed off. Because I feel to disregard those experiences shows a lack of interest in truly getting to know me which renders trying to pin a type as a presumptuous gesture done out of self-satisfaction and without a true regard for me or for the truth.

    But if someone made the effort to sit down, really, so to speak, and make a good investigation and to work with me one to one instead of shutting out my input and being dismissive, it shows me that the person has a genuine interest in the process, in finding the truth, and that in itself I appreciate. It indicates respect towards me and towards this theory.
    ^^These.

    Though @siuntal brought up a good point, too.
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    It's really no big deal to me (major shock, right?). I think of personality typology as a game, on a level with astrology and similar pseudosciences. I like to hear their thoughts and arguments, but it's not something I take very seriously.

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    This is the first time it's really happened. I'm not really bothered by it. Maybe I would be if it weren't Maritsa?
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    Disagreements lead to increased understanding about both your type and the system*. Someone questioning your type shows you some ways in which you come across to others ("I think you're SEE because you seem forceful" = "Wow, this person thinks I'm forceful in conversation!"). At the same time, it also helps you to look at your characteristics and better ascribe them to functions. It helps solidify why you think you are what you think you are, and, in the end, makes you more confident in your self-typing and more able to back up what you say ("After this conversation with Frank, I thought about how he said I was Se ego, and it's really just Se-role flaring up") or makes you look at yourself and your typing in a new way.

    *- Unless you're talking to Maritsa.

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    Historically, I ask for reasoning as to why I'm not the type I claim to be, the other party gives really shitty reasoning, I call them out for shitty reasoning, they belligerently insist on their own superiority, I yell at them for being a conceited lying douche and end up putting them on ignore.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxOnStilts View Post
    Disagreements lead to increased understanding about both your type and the system*. Someone questioning your type shows you some ways in which you come across to others ("I think you're SEE because you seem forceful" = "Wow, this person thinks I'm forceful in conversation!"). At the same time, it also helps you to look at your characteristics and better ascribe them to functions. It helps solidify why you think you are what you think you are, and, in the end, makes you more confident in your self-typing and more able to back up what you say ("After this conversation with Frank, I thought about how he said I was Se ego, and it's really just Se-role flaring up") or makes you look at yourself and your typing in a new way.

    *- Unless you're talking to Maritsa.
    except for the last part, I agree with you because disagreements leads you to challenge your assumptions and look at things through NEW set of eyes; the NEW part is so interesting to me because it is it opens up such interesting possibilities and even helps me explore ideas about typing questions.

    My mind explores in such interesting ways.
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    Depends on the person and the typing. I have no problems with attention, so I enjoy hearing why people think I am a given type, but their history of typing and the typing itself tends to determine how seriously I take them. I would have more problem with someone utterly wrong who keeps hounding me about it than I would someone who is off-base but explains themselves satisfactorily and then drops it.
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    Depends on how it's presented. If it's well reasoned and makes sense to me, I'm open to it. I like to listen to how people come to different conclusions. I get a little frustrated if I'm not being explained to.

    What I don't like is when someone insists they know me better than I know myself. Feels kinda rude. After all, in the very end, I think the person in question is the one who decides about the type. What others can do is offer different views – not force a typing down one's throath.

    Also, I think we should keep in mind that these are cognitive functions we're talking about. They often have a certain effect on the individual and their behaviour and manifest as certain personality traits, but this isn't primarily just a personality test – it's much more. It's about how you filter and process the incoming data, how you organize it and apply it to the external world. Thus, I think telling someone they can't be this or that simply because they don't fit a stereotype is kinda, eh.

    Also, I don't trust typings based heavily on VI. Seen it gone wrong much, much more than right.
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    How do you react when someone questions your self-typing?
    i plant my palm in my face and groan

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    I don't think much about it. People generally try to guess types and many times, they are wrong.

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    Normally i would consider people's opinion on my type because tbh we can't all be consistent with our own types, it's reasonable to consider other typings just* to make sure. RIght now i think I'm pretty settled with my type, if some nutjob gave me a ridiculous typing without any good evidence backing it up then i won't take it seriously. But nothing like a big reaction at first glance unless they are really a dick about it. Say Maritsa what type do you think i am again?
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    To my knowledge, nobody questions my self-typing. They haven't brought it up to me if they do question it anyway.

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    My reaction would simply be one of wanting to know the objective facts, reasoning or inclination towards the alternate opinion.

  35. #35
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    I don't care for the most part, it's not so much about questioning my self typing as it is why and how they go about it. There's a difference between questioning your typing and someone being adamant you are another type - the level of certainty should correlate with an explanation of the same caliber to boot. A good number of members here engage in erroneous typing habits, such as typing people based whether or not they like another person, their interactions with different members on here, hate typing, and herd mentality typing (amongst a few others). There's also a bias as to where, given enough time with a certain typing, members will eventually start to see you as that type as long as you don't act too erratically beyond the limits of what that type is traditionally thought of. It's much easier to brush off people's typing's on here due to acknowledging the biased nature of this place - although the rather persistent ones that incorporate these are the ones that tend to get on my nerves. There's only a couple of people on here who legitimately 'question' types in the right way - those that remains objective, unbiased, and essentially come from a place of attempting to get to know the person vs their forum persona. They ask to get to know rather than to back up a preconceived notion/don't make assumptions as to why you do something and prioritize them over your reasoning (suggestions, however, are different). Those are the people who I like talking to about my type, and who I genuinely gain knowledge from interacting with, even if it doesn't lead to anything tangibly related to a typing.
    you are beautiful
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  36. #36
    Decadent Charlatan Aquagraph's Avatar
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    I'm usually amused, complimented or feeding off from the extra attention.

    I'm usually open if it's well presented. If it's not, I might still pretend to be open about the idea to hear the rest of the bullshit for my ego boost and/or amusement.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

  37. #37
    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labster View Post
    i plant my palm in my face and groan
    i forgot to add that i subsequently pounce on the offender intellectually, corner him/her like a rat and punish, demoralize and humiliate him/her with ruthless abandon.

  38. #38
    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labster View Post
    i forgot to add that i subsequently pounce on the offender intellectually, corner him/her like a rat and punish, demoralize and humiliate him/her with ruthless abandon.
    thats because you're LSI therefore mean because Se. now punish me.

  39. #39
    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    thats because you're LSI therefore mean because Se. now punish me.
    you'll like that too much. so i'll have to just sulk and stare at you disapprovingly instead.


  40. #40
    Decadent Charlatan Aquagraph's Avatar
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    Passive aggressive Se PoLR confirmed.

    Not to say that wasn't the typical witty remark we get from Labo.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

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