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Thread: New IEI - came here because I couldn't find answers on Reddit

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    cherrysidecar's Avatar
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    Red face New IEI - came here because I couldn't find answers on Reddit.

    Hello everyone. When I ask relationship advice (or any type of advice involving people), I somehow expect a socionics angle to be part of the solution. And yet no one gives me that, because surprisingly, not everyone is obsessed with this.

    So here I am!

    My main issues with regards to this are:

    1) an SLE who tore out my heart and squeezed the blood out then threw it out the window.

    2) an ILE who is much nicer, and my current SO, but jesus ****-ing christ, those illusionary relations...

    no need to respond to these issues, I will make a post about them sometime in the future. I'm also here to contribute

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    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    Well I actually really love relationships. Love them in almost every sense I've read a lot of relationship books my favorites of course being men are from mars and women are from venus, and don't sweat the small stuff in relationships. I recommend either, they're easy reads. I also feel I have a passing understanding of soconics so I'd be more than willing and very interested in discussing any specific questions you might have about either topics.
    Easy Day

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    End of the road
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    Welcome fellow new person! Sori that you had an experience like that with your dual, there are better ones out there for sure don worri . Feel free to make long post like all other IEIs do!
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Variant View Post
    Welcome fellow new person! Sori that you had an experience like that with your dual, there are better ones out there for sure don worri . Feel free to make long post like all other IEIs do!
    So that I won't read them, makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    So that I won't read them, makes sense.
    , aw comeon dont be like that!
    Beta NF - E-(6w5), 9w1, 4w5 sp/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Variant View Post
    , aw comeon dont be like that!
    I'm kidding, I think.

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    Perpetual Confusion Machine PistolShrimp's Avatar
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    I've been in a stable illusionary relationship with an ILE for a year now, feel free to PM me if you need help.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    Hello everyone. When I ask relationship advice (or any type of advice involving people), I somehow expect a socionics angle to be part of the solution. And yet no one gives me that, because surprisingly, not everyone is obsessed with this.

    So here I am!

    My main issues with regards to this are:

    1) an SLE who tore out my heart and squeezed the blood out then threw it out the window.

    2) an ILE who is much nicer, and my current SO, but jesus ****-ing christ, those illusionary relations...

    no need to respond to these issues, I will make a post about them sometime in the future. I'm also here to contribute
    Don't worry. I had the very same things happen to me by an LSE a few years ago. You have to declare "ass holishness" and move on; lots of SLE in the world.

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    So fluffeh. Cuddly McFluffles's Avatar
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    Welcome! Sorry that you had an SOB SLE; the former comes in every type flavor. I hope you enjoy your stay here.
    Johari/Nohari

    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

    Fruit, the fluffy kitty.

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    Default Aw thanks for the welcome!


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    IEI woot woot.

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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    Aww, I have a massive osft spot for ILEs. But agreed, illusionary argh. Welcome!
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PistolShrimp View Post
    I've been in a stable illusionary relationship with an ILE for a year now, feel free to PM me if you need help.

    How's the sex?

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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    How's the sex?
    Great most of the time. Only issues are when I catch myself seeking certain Aggressor-ish behavior from him because it's not his natural tendency, but he's been more than happy to oblige when I tell him what I'd like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PistolShrimp View Post
    Great most of the time. Only issues are when I catch myself seeking certain Aggressor-ish behavior from him because it's not his natural tendency, but he's been more than happy to oblige when I tell him what I'd like.
    Wow. That is *EXACTLY* the same as my situation. But when I tell him what I like, that kind of feels weird too because it's not my natural tendency...

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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    Wow. That is *EXACTLY* the same as my situation. But when I tell him what I like, that kind of feels weird too because it's not my natural tendency...
    I figured that you'd been having some issues in that area when you asked me, but I didn't want to pry. Telling someone what you like in bed can require breaking out of your comfort zone (especially for Victim, types, I'd think), but I don't think that's necessarily a negative thing. I've learned more about what I really like by figuring out what I feel is lacking and discussing it with my boyfriend. It also helps to focus on what you both enjoy during sex; I'm sure there's some common ground or you wouldn't still be together, right?

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    There seriously needs to be a illusionary relations anonymous support group...

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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    1) an SLE who tore out my heart and squeezed the blood out then threw it out the window.

    2) an ILE who is much nicer, and my current SO, but jesus ****-ing christ, those illusionary relations...
    sometimes on more bitter days, i can't help but think we XEIs get a raw deal. Fi-PoLR, oh the pain.



    welcome to the forum!

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    There seriously needs to be a illusionary relations anonymous support group...
    They're not THAT bad...

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    i'm only certain that i know 2 ILEs, and i go back and forth between butting heads severely with them and getting along really well and cuddly. mostly they're annoying to me though, but these are just two human beings and more importantly just two ILEs.


    EDIT/ADD: oh yeah, welcome, lol
    "If you can find out little melodies for yourself on the piano it is all very well. But if they come of themselves when you are not at the piano, then you have still greater reason to rejoice; for then the inner sense of music is astir in you. The fingers must make what the head wills, not vice versa."- Robert Schumann

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    There seriously needs to be a illusionary relations anonymous support group...
    nonono... Semi-Duality FTW! of course, then i guess they wouldn' need one ;D
    "If you can find out little melodies for yourself on the piano it is all very well. But if they come of themselves when you are not at the piano, then you have still greater reason to rejoice; for then the inner sense of music is astir in you. The fingers must make what the head wills, not vice versa."- Robert Schumann

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    Aww, I have a massive osft spot for ILEs. But agreed, illusionary argh. Welcome!
    i'm only certain that i know 2 ILEs, and i go back and forth between butting heads severely with them and getting along really well and cuddly. mostly they're annoying to me though, but these are just two human beings and more importantly just two ILEs.
    PistolShrimp
    Originally Posted by hkkmr
    There seriously needs to be a illusionary relations anonymous support group...



    They're not THAT bad...

    I've had the interesting experience of tripping on acid on two separate occasions with only an SLE, and only an ILE (coincidentally, the same two I mentioned in the first post). Now it's better to do it in a group, and have some sort of constant activity going on, but sometimes you can find yourself just tripping balls with only one other person in the room.

    With the SLE, I almost don't remember what happened, it was just peaceful. There was some Beatles playing in the background, and we kept losing ourselves in the music, or we'd just keep looking at each other without any awkwardness; we were almost always on the same page (whatever that means), we could communicate complex things with a few words or gestures.

    With the ILE, it was much weirder. We definitely didn't plan on tripping out alone in the room, but the club we were at shut down before we expected it to. After finishing all the mutually beneficial activities (getting safely back to the hotel, getting water, etc.) we ended up just sort of peering at each other, like, what are you? Are you dangerous? Friendly? I don't know, but for the time being this is fun, I guess. And then I would lose interest altogether. -- And this mental process happened over and over, there was no resolution. We both felt like we had to stay sharp with the other person in the room, whereas with the SLE we both just let go of any reservations.

    My takeaway from this is that at a very elemental psychological level, IEI and ILE are completely alien to each other. The only common ground is the irrationality of our dominant functions - not the intuition, but the irrational aspect of it, is appealing, at least for a short time.

    However since we don't live out every day on an "elemental psychological level," pistolshrimp is right, it's not THAT bad.

    Also my bad for not quoting properly...

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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    I've had the interesting experience of tripping on acid on two separate occasions with only an SLE, and only an ILE (coincidentally, the same two I mentioned in the first post). Now it's better to do it in a group, and have some sort of constant activity going on, but sometimes you can find yourself just tripping balls with only one other person in the room.

    With the SLE, I almost don't remember what happened, it was just peaceful. There was some Beatles playing in the background, and we kept losing ourselves in the music, or we'd just keep looking at each other without any awkwardness; we were almost always on the same page (whatever that means), we could communicate complex things with a few words or gestures.

    With the ILE, it was much weirder. We definitely didn't plan on tripping out alone in the room, but the club we were at shut down before we expected it to. After finishing all the mutually beneficial activities (getting safely back to the hotel, getting water, etc.) we ended up just sort of peering at each other, like, what are you? Are you dangerous? Friendly? I don't know, but for the time being this is fun, I guess. And then I would lose interest altogether. -- And this mental process happened over and over, there was no resolution. We both felt like we had to stay sharp with the other person in the room, whereas with the SLE we both just let go of any reservations.

    My takeaway from this is that at a very elemental psychological level, IEI and ILE are completely alien to each other. The only common ground is the irrationality of our dominant functions - not the intuition, but the irrational aspect of it, is appealing, at least for a short time.

    However since we don't live out every day on an "elemental psychological level," pistolshrimp is right, it's not THAT bad.

    Also my bad for not quoting properly...
    ILEs and IEIs are not completely different; we connect through Ti/Fe hidden agendas. Do you generally find that the differences keep you alert around each other, or was that just the acid? The differences seem to exhaust me at times.

    I tripped on acid with my IEI ex; talk about weirdness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PistolShrimp View Post
    ILEs and IEIs are not completely different; we connect through Ti/Fe hidden agendas. Do you generally find that the differences keep you alert around each other, or was that just the acid? The differences seem to exhaust me at times.

    I tripped on acid with my IEI ex; talk about weirdness.
    No, it's not like that ALL the time, but I also find it exhausting.... what's your coping method??

    Also, what was it like to trip with an identical? I'm especially curious because, I think I have never met an IEI in real life (that I know of).

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    You've probably met a few IEI's in real life. It's just sometimes quite unexpected who they actually are.

    Tripping with an identical has always been a great experience for me. It was mushrooms. We had an open dialogue and spoke openly and continually about our train of thought, each other, deep concepts, and what we wanted to do to each other. It was heavenly. Because of that one night, our relationship as friends got 10x more entwined and honest. The sex was great, and probably the perfect combination of drugs and atmosphere for us to both come out of our shelves and be direct with each other.

    Tripping with an ILE was kind of weird. We both tried to comfort each other, but completely ineffectively(lol). we seperated and had two separate nightmare trips in different parts of the house. But when we came down, we clicked on our information relay. There were no gaffe's or awkwardness in what we expressed. A mutual respect, at the times where we were on different wavelengths. No sex.

    Tripping with an SEE was intense. But it was acid. It was pretty much the opposite from the above. We disagreed about each other's points, but still understood where the other was coming from. It was very comforting talking, because the conversation just flowed freely and easily without pretense. But at the same time we teased each other because there were alot of "what the hell? how did you come to that conclusion" moments. The sex was good, and awesome because i didn't see it coming.

    No SLE women i've met as an adult, so i'm still yet to experience that trip.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    You've probably met a few IEI's in real life. It's just sometimes quite unexpected who they actually are.
    Whoa. What do you mean by this? And on a similar note, what else do you think would come under "common social roles" for IEI, on the wikisocion page? => http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=IEI


    Tripping with an ILE was kind of weird. We both tried to comfort each other, but completely ineffectively(lol). we seperated and had two separate nightmare trips in different parts of the house. But when we came down, we clicked on our information relay. There were no gaffe's or awkwardness in what we expressed. A mutual respect, at the times where we were on different wavelengths. No sex.
    lolol. word, except for the nightmare


    No SLE women i've met as an adult, so i'm still yet to experience that trip.
    You might want to avoid this, unless you're in a LT relationship already.. I kinda played it down before, but it was actually very intense, and cut us deep. We both cried like babies because we couldn't be with each other forever. I'm not kidding. No sex. And it even went on for a couple days after the trip, then all of a sudden it was back to hard-as-steel SLE

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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    No, it's not like that ALL the time, but I also find it exhausting.... what's your coping method??

    Also, what was it like to trip with an identical? I'm especially curious because, I think I have never met an IEI in real life (that I know of).
    My coping method is napping together or having sex when I start to feel tired- seriously.

    Tripping with my identical was interesting. During the trip, we spent some time interacting, then getting lost in our own worlds, then interacting again. We each had a notebook that we wrote in; I drew things in mine and he added to them. I actually would have lost my virginity during the trip if I didn't feel dead from the waist down from the acid haha. We also listened to a playlist we'd made together and talked about the visuals the music gave us.

    Like Pookie said, you've probably met some IEIs without realizing it. Depending on enneatype and subtype, they can be pretty unassuming until you get to know them better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrysidecar View Post
    Whoa. What do you mean by this? And on a similar note, what else do you think would come under "common social roles" for IEI, on the wikisocion page? => http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=IEI
    Eh, i can't really describe it under those terms, though facetiously i might add: "The inspired hippy" "The wise sage" and "The life of the party"

    But the Fe creative stands out to me. Aware whenever people are touching. Acutely aware of the expressions and behaviors of people in the surrounding area, and likewise their own expressions and motions. Can swing between huge smiles and stone-faced responses. An inherent softness to their actions. Dark sense of humor. Prone to platitudes and proverbs. Teases with misdirection. A hint of altruism when raised well. And responds well to loud boisterous people.

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