I saw this a few years ago and I liked. Today I came across it again:
Conversations between duals:
ILE: I'm a spazzy social cripple who constantly spews out all this awkward bullshit. I also need someone to feed me. Help!
SEI: Hahahahaha, hi there!!1 I'll give you some of my breastmilk and tell you everything you should say around people, as long as you tell me that I'm smart all the time (even if I'm a dumbfuck)! Sounds good>>!>!>!?!!?!
ILE: It's a deal! Now dress me in a diaper and I'll get you a chilled beverage. We can have sex with both objects.
LII: I'm a really ugly nerd, and I am completely oblivious to my surroundings. Also, I cry whenever someone tells me that I need to move because I'm blocking their way. What can I do about this particular issue?
ESE: YOU JUST NEED ME TO TALK TALK TALK TO EVERYONE THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL BORE THEM TO DEATH (LITERALLY) AND THEN YOU'LL BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEE! BUT ONE THING CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME NOT FREAK OUT AT EVERY LITTLE THING THAT DOESN'T GO TO PLAN?!?!?!?!?!
LII: Sure, I will help you organize your day so you don't accidentally kill off good people with your boring talk. Cool.
IEI: I am sitting on this couch, slitting my wrists. I need someone to punish me like the naughty teenager I am. Spank me! I've been bad!
SLE: Yo muthafucka, SLE's IN DA HOOD YO! Bend ova, bitch, cuz I'm gonna snap a whip on yo ass if you don't BE-HAVE. Oh, and while we're at dis, can you help me restore my rep after I kick everyone's azz? Ho, I need ya to tell me I'm awesome.
IEI: *slap* Ahhh, harder! *smack* I'll help you after you're done raping me! Don't stop!
LSI: I get my panties in a bunch if someone breaks a rule. I'm also two-faced, ultra-serious and I have bad character. What can I do to help fix this? I have no Ne, so I can't think of anything.
EIE: HEY HEY HOOOOOOOO! I CAN JUST BE CHEEERY AND OBNOXIOUS AROUND YOU, AND YOU'LL BE SOO HAPPY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD! CAN YOU HELP ME NOT BE STUPID THOUGH? I'M A FEELER, SO I CAN'T THINK. LSI: Haha, thanks! I'll be your walking checkbook, so you don't have to do any thinking at all.
ILI: Ugh. The world sucks. I hate everyone because they suck. Everyone hates me back. Life sucks. You suck.
SEE: Hey there, life's not so bad when you're getting laid 8 times a day! Here, how about I help you with that whole virginity thing that you've been angry about for the past 24 years? I'll sleep with anyone, so it's all good!
ILI: Thank you. I have always wanted to see a set of genitals besides my own, but to no avail. I'll predict what STD everyone has so that you don't get it and pass it to me.
LIE: Money. Facts. Capitalism. Financial security. Office meetings. Efficiency. More boring corporate shit. Help, I can't relate to people, because no one gives a shit about any of the neat things I listed above.
ESI: I may be a stone cold bitch on the outside, but I really care about you deep down in the bottom of my icy heart. As long as you continue to get $500k a year, that's all I care about. I will love you unconditionally and never let go.
LIE: Thanks, I was getting worried there for a second that I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Now I know that someone cares about me, even if they really only care about my paycheck. Nice!
SLI: I hate life, and I'm considering bringing a weapon to school so I can cause the next Columbine. I will then shoot myself in the head because I'd go to jail for life otherwise.
IEE: Hey look! A butterfly! It's so preeettty! Oh wait, what was that again? I didn't hear you the first tiiiiime!
SLI: Heh, you're really funny. I'm not so angry any more. Just for helping me, how about I fix your car for free?
LSE: Although I am such a manly caretaker, I can't make brownies by myself. Hey, oh feminine EII, can you make me some brownies? Because that's all you're good for: being girly and making brownies.
EII: Yes, I will make you brownies. Since you are my masculine provider, I feel the need to service you like a good wife should. I'll also help you get over your fear of being less than an hour early to your next office meeting.
LSE: Why thank you, ma'am. I'll be sure to bring you some empty cash so you can get to the kitchen and make me more brownies.
I find it quiet funny - there's something to it . However I'm interested in what you think and if you have your own summaries of duals interactions.