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Thread: SLI-ILE Semi-Duality Relations (ISTp and ENTp)

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    Default SLI-ILE Semi-Duality Relations (ISTp and ENTp)

    SLI here. He's my best friend because he's nice, fun and easy to talk with - very smart - but sometimes he gets on my nerves. He:

    - was invited to my mum's funeral, but couldn't come because "he had to study". He spent that day reading manga at home.
    - mocks/scoffs at anything he doesn't understand: "dude, no wonder you oversleep when you're up all night [ignoring the fact that I'm depressed and have trouble sleeping, which he should know]"; "*scoff*, why do people always write R.I.P. on YouTube videos of dead people who are moderately interesting?"
    - is really set in his ways. Seems to think his opinions, logic and reasoning are perfect. Most people are stupid.
    - is terrified of the thought that others might think he's wrong/ignorant about something. Is very quick to point out, "I know that", even when it's not even remotely implied that one is trying to teach him something - just pointing out facts to steer the conversation.

    Again, he's a good friend despite these, really, small nitpicks. I just need a break from his very opinionated chattering sometimes. Our relationship seems to perfectly fit Wikisocion's semi-duality description.

    Any points of view on the matter?

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    Cat Lady aixelsyd's Avatar
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    Sounds like an ILE I know and your friend also sounds like someone I would intensely dislike. Other thoughts are that it may have less to do with semi-duality than it does the kind of guy he is as ILEs aren't always like that, of course. Also, there's a chance he had no intention of going the funeral and made up some excuse.
    Life's a bitch and she's got me pussy whipped.

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    Roro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billions View Post
    - was invited to my mum's funeral, but couldn't come because "he had to study". He spent that day reading manga at home.
    Some people aren't good at handling stuff like that. Try not to hold that against him. I'm the same way, and I might be kind of upset if a good friend assumed I didn't care because I didn't go to the funeral. I can hardly bring myself to go visit my own family in the hospital, so I can only imagine how uncomfortable I would feel having to go to the funeral of somebody I didn't know all that well.

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    Thanks! Well, I think he can just be awfully socially oblivious. Most of the time, there's no harm in that, and he's not the scumbag I realize I might make him out to be. For example, regarding the funeral, I think he was just overwhelmed and didn't know how to act or what to say, so he went into his shell and hoped the problem would go away by itself. While it's limited to what degree a "type" really can describe a person, it would be fun to hear about similar experiences!

    EDIT: Wrote this before I saw Aerorobyn's reply. Thank you, too! I was angry with him for weeks after the incident and didn't see him as a good friend, because what are friends for if not for support under those circumstances, even if it feels difficult? That subsided a bit after I started considering the viewpoint you've just described.

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    Roro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billions View Post
    Thanks! Well, I think he can just be awfully socially oblivious. Most of the time, there's no harm in that, and he's not the scumbag I realize I might make him out to be. For example, regarding the funeral, I think he was just overwhelmed and didn't know how to act or what to say, so he went into his shell and hoped the problem would go away by itself. While it's limited to what degree a "type" really can describe a person, it would be fun to hear about similar experiences!
    I'm sure that's what it is - not knowing what to say or do. That's why I avoid those situations, but it comes with the cost of having your family think of you as selfish and uncaring.

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    ഗന᎕ᒹ ±ᗉᚔXᙂഗ woofwoofl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billions View Post
    - was invited to my mum's funeral, but couldn't come because "he had to study". He spent that day reading manga at home.
    baahahaha jesus christ

    Anyways, most of ILEs being assholes is unintentional, no matter how brutal it is to be on the receiving end of it. I just laugh at their jokes when I catch them and try to make them smile and shit haha...

    Find more friends and get back to him when you're less sick of the bullshit and kinda miss the dude

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    Does he try to grind your gear aswell? lol

    umm I don't think he's being an ass intentionally, I think it's a case of vulnerable which you value being SLI.

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    Perpetual Confusion Machine PistolShrimp's Avatar
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    My ILE guy is no good with funerals or emotional hard times either; his reaction is to make inappropriate jokes to distract himself. I think it's the -PoLR, like Diam0nd said. He needs someone to help make him comfortable with the situation using their .

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    Marxist Ne’er-do-well Red Villain's Avatar
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    Or a lobotomy.
    "We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.".

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    when you see the booty Galen's Avatar
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    Are you sure he's really ILE and not just *a dick*?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Billions View Post
    SLI here. He's my best friend because he's nice, fun and easy to talk with - very smart - but sometimes he gets on my nerves. He:

    1. was invited to my mum's funeral, but couldn't come because "he had to study". He spent that day reading manga at home.
    2. mocks/scoffs at anything he doesn't understand: "dude, no wonder you oversleep when you're up all night [ignoring the fact that I'm depressed and have trouble sleeping, which he should know]"; "*scoff*, why do people always write R.I.P. on YouTube videos of dead people who are moderately interesting?"
    3. is really set in his ways. Seems to think his opinions, logic and reasoning are perfect. Most people are stupid.
    4. is terrified of the thought that others might think he's wrong/ignorant about something. Is very quick to point out, "I know that", even when it's not even remotely implied that one is trying to teach him something - just pointing out facts to steer the conversation.

    Again, he's a good friend despite these, really, small nitpicks. I just need a break from his very opinionated chattering sometimes. Our relationship seems to perfectly fit Wikisocion's semi-duality description.

    Any points of view on the matter?
    1. A funeral is about as uncomfortable as it gets to an ILE. Asking him to go to your mom's funeral probably made him feel really awkward. Something along the line of a close firend admitting deep romantic love for you.
    2. He probably knows about the whole depression-stuff, but doesn't know how to go about it, so he finds it easier to joke around and pretend you never gave him the burden of your mental health, because it is a burden to him.
    3. You can always prove him wrong with empirical facts. Probably not statistics (because they can be interpreted in a lot of ways). The "errors" are almost always in the assumptions.
    4. When Te-people is "pointing out facts to steer the conversation", it is often experienced as someone thinking of you as less intelligent while trying to teach you elementary things that you already know in a real dumbed down way. Like they're educating a stupid child.

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