Trust/Understanding Relationships? ILEs?

[BAoxymoron]

I really wouldn't know if this is directly related to socionics or not as I'm completely ignorant of most of this stuff but I might as well ask while I'm here... Basically I constantly swing back and forth between thinking a person likes me(more so friends than romantic but in both cases) and then hates me and everything in between and I never can make any sense of any it. Thus I often go into these little downward spirals of locking myself in my room or going on long walks by myself late at night... but anyways to my question...

Do all ILEs have a complete distrust/fear/phobia of relationships. I know that a part of it has to do with being my vulnerable function but is that all of it? Or is it more a personal thing that stems from a borderline phobia of allowing any emotions to surface within me and a need to control every aspect of how I "feel"? Or because I know I'm too socially inept to be able to know yet alone convince others that there is a person worth become friends with underneath the broken exterior...

Also if it is ILE related is there a way for me to either A) understand other's opinions of me or B) keep myself from ever caring about the doubts that inevitably spring up?

[ambivalent existence]

I really wouldn't know if this is directly related to socionics or not as I'm completely ignorant of most of this stuff but I might as well ask while I'm here... Basically I constantly swing back and forth between thinking a person likes me(more so friends than romantic but in both cases) and then hates me and everything in between and I never can make any sense of any it. Thus I often go into these little downward spirals of locking myself in my room or going on long walks by myself late at night... but anyways to my question...

Do all ILEs have a complete distrust/fear/phobia of relationships. I know that a part of it has to do with being my vulnerable function but is that all of it? Or is it more a personal thing that stems from a borderline phobia of allowing any emotions to surface within me and a need to control every aspect of how I "feel"? Or because I know I'm too socially inept to be able to know yet alone convince others that there is a person worth become friends with underneath the broken exterior...

Also if it is ILE related is there a way for me to either A) understand other's opinions of me or B) keep myself from ever caring about the doubts that inevitably spring up?

I guess some of it could be the Fi PoLR, but maybe not all of it.

I don't have a big phobia of relationships, I like them, but by default pretty unsure (too optimistic or too suspicious) of relationship status but if the other person is good with Fe, then that resolves my doubts. Fi creatives can also be pretty good with this, but they seem a bit too inconsistent compared to Fe egos plus they don't value my load of Ti. I guess with them it also depends on the person, not just the type.

I don't think the phobia of allowing emotions to surface/trying to control them is socionics related, but I'm not an expert.

there's been a way to understand people's behaviour towards me a bit better: talking with EII people they can be really helpful as long as they are tolerant of me too.

let me add it also helps a lot that I even managed get conscious of what issues I have, because it used to be unconscious. so some thinking, learning, talking to people helps.