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Thread: Is this an Si role kind of hatred?

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    Anna1921's Avatar
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    Default Is this an Si role kind of hatred?

    More often than not I hate having to deal with a body at all.

    Let me explain.

    First, a concession: I do enjoy sensual pleasures of various kinds. Good food, good sex, a good massage all are wonderful.

    BUT.

    I really could do without living in a body that I have to worry over and take care of. Because I am sort of all-or-nothing in this area.

    For an example, take the massively scraped knee I currently have. I have been kind to it. I have gone online and read up on what exactly you're supposed to do for a scraped knee, and I've done (most of) it. Yet I still quietly freak out when I take off the bandage and see a layer of grossness on the wound and see it surrounded by angry red skin. I just want it to heal so I can go back to not having to think about it.

    Also, there's food. I mentioned food above -- I said how I think good food is "wonderful." And surely it can be. But not wonderful enough for me to seek it out, and certainly not enough for me to actually cook anything requiring more than the minimal effort. As a result, my diet is bland (healthy, though, since taste doesn't matter much to me and I can easily pass up "tasty" things for "plain" things that do a body good long-term). If decadent food is in front of me, I will probably eat it and maybe even overindulge from time to time. But I have gone weeks and months without varying my bland diet because frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. In fact the less time I have to think about feeding and watering my body, the better.

    So is all of this related to Si role, or just weak Si or what?

    Also, hypochondria. Part of my dislike of taking care of my body, especially where wounds and illnesses are concerned, is the immense stress it causes. "What if it's x? Or what if it's y?! Oh my God, I think it's z and abc is about to take over my entire existence!" Is this related to weak and unvalued Si?

    And before you say I just need an Si caregiver, let me say that I most certainly do not. I know they mean well when they make suggestions and do Si things for me, but I also can't help myself feeling that they're wasting their time focusing on something that will soon have faded into oblivion with hardly a trace. Also I feel like they are lecturing me, which is not fun.

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    ■■■■■■ Radio's Avatar
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    Sounds more like S-polr/mobilizing, i.e. xNxj, and type 9.

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    Maybe Si polr? Have you considered any ni type?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna1921 View Post
    Also, hypochondria. Part of my dislike of taking care of my body, especially where wounds and illnesses are concerned, is the immense stress it causes. "What if it's x? Or what if it's y?! Oh my God, I think it's z and abc is about to take over my entire existence!" Is this related to weak and unvalued Si?

    And before you say I just need an Si caregiver, let me say that I most certainly do not. I know they mean well when they make suggestions and do Si things for me, but I also can't help myself feeling that they're wasting their time focusing on something that will soon have faded into oblivion with hardly a trace. Also I feel like they are lecturing me, which is not fun.
    So at the same time you can panic/overreact to health problems, but still feel like helping take care of them is a waste of time..? How would you prefer others to react?
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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    I have heard many similar things from Beta NFs.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Have you considered installing your consciousness into a computer lately?
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    Are you afraid of violence?

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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    you dislike tending to wounds? i have terrible, terrible news for you...

    you might just be...

     
    HUMAN

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    @ Radio -- Just curious, where did you get 9 out of that?

    @ ver -- I believe I am an Ni type, most probably IEI.

    @ Gilly -- Does what I've described sound particularly Si role vs PoLR? FWIW, I do -- when I decide that "*This time* I'm going to keep it up!" lol -- put forth real effort in "taking care of myself." It's just that these little forays into whateverland are more momentary than true phases, because I just cannot seem to care enough.


    @ munenori2 -- lol


    @ Agarina -- I like to be told and reassured in a strong way not to worry. What do I mean by "strong"? Confident, like the person *knows* that the thing is not x, y, or z or something that will turn into abc and ruin my life; it's just a little glitch, no big deal, not even worth thinking about. And then they will reassure me of that later when I raise more fears (and I will).

    Like with the knee thing, I can tend to the wound itself, but then I feel a pain in another part of my body and think, "OMG the infection from my knee has spread and now I'm going to have a problem in this other part of my body -- whyyyyy?! My body is going to rot from the inside out!" This happened this morning, and I asked my friend who is a medical researcher about it (I tried to slip it oh-so-casually into the conversation lest he think (know!) I was terrified), and he made me feel better by assuring me that the symptoms I have elsewhere are unrelated and are a-typical of what I was worried about. And when I said that maybe my symptoms still fit, he firmly told me that they do not. But then he said if such-and-such happened then maybe I really do need to worry (but such-and-such is nothing close to what I described to him, so whew). He also told me what to do if that happened, which was a big relief. The not knowing what (if anything) is wrong and the not knowing what to do if my fears are confirmed scares me. So he made me feel better. And the last part -- where he acknowledged the slim possibility but then said how slim it was *and* said what I should do in that event -- is key because it shows he didn't just shut my fears down, but he listened to me and told me what to do in that case.

    I still ruminate over it, as I do, but I feel less panicky after talking with him. For the moment, anyway.


    @ martynas0708 -- I'm not sure what you mean by "afraid," but my instinct is to say no. I don't relish the idea of being a victim of violence per se, but I am not one to shy away from or even consider avoiding violent movies/tv shows/music/books.


    @ labcoat -- whatever, lol
    Last edited by Anna1921; 03-13-2012 at 07:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna1921 View Post
    @ Agarina -- I like to be told and reassured in a strong way not to worry. What do I mean by "strong"? Confident, like the person *knows* that the thing is not x, y, or z or something that will turn into abc and ruin my life; it's just a little glitch, no big deal, not even worth thinking about. And then they will reassure me of that later when I raise more fears (and I will).

    Like with the knee thing, I can tend to the wound itself, but then I feel a pain in another part of my body and think, "OMG the infection from my knee has spread and now I'm going to have a problem in this other part of my body -- whyyyyy?! My body is going to rot from the inside out!" This happened this morning, and I asked my friend who is a medical researcher about it (I tried to slip it oh-so-casually into the conversation lest he think (know!) I was terrified), and he made me feel better by assuring me that the symptoms I have elsewhere are unrelated and are a-typical of what I was worried about. And when I said that maybe my symptoms still fit, he firmly told me that they do not. But then he said if such-and-such happened then maybe I really do need to worry (but such-and-such is nothing close to what I described to him, so whew). He also told me what to do if that happened, which was a big relief. The not knowing what (if anything) is wrong and the not knowing what to do if my fears are confirmed scares me. So he made me feel better. And the last part -- where he acknowledged the slim possibility but then said how slim it was *and* said what I should do in that event -- is key because it shows he didn't just shut my fears down, but he listened to me and told me what to do in that case.

    I still ruminate over it, as I do, but I feel less panicky after talking with him. For the moment, anyway.
    That pretty much sounds like you indeed have unvalued and weak Si (and Te) --> Se/Ti seeking. Your description on how that sort of response would calm you down and make you feel better is really fascinating - I myself am the total opposite and way more likely to view that kind of behavior as offensive than anything positive.. It's Interesting how different the same things can look from someone else's perspective. And oh, welcome to the forum!
    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Axis of Evil: Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Agarina
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan
    Agarina does not like human beings; she just wants a pretty boy toy.
    Johari Nohari

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    Atlast's Avatar
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    I wish I could be a floating white sphere of conscious matter but we can't all get what we want now can weh

    lol anyway I know an ILE who would totally live off pills if it can be proved healthy and feasible. I've felt the way you describe above a lot in my life too; you take the good with the bad with this human machine.

    Also, Te has a tendency to relinquish aesthetics for practicality (caregiver or not), so the 'I'm going to care you to death' mentality you describe above may apply primarily to alpha SFs. What you described above seems to indicate independence and N type, which may very well be Ni, but I'm reluctant to encourage you to make a specific conclusion based on this .

    If it means anything (which it probably shouldn't) you come off to me as IEI here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by labocat View Post
    you dislike tending to wounds? i have terrible, terrible news for you...

    you might just be...

     
    HUMAN
    Maybe, but the fact that its such a big thing to her that she found it relevant to make a long thread about it is something that might distinguish her from other people in a way you could categorize if you wanted. how unpleasant it is for me to deal with wounds just depends on how painful it is or maybe how much time it takes.

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    I think it could be as role or suggestive function. You should consider two possibilities - IEE or IEI. What do u think?

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    I'm a transhumanist and I believe our bodies could be more efficient and less energy consuming. But I wanna keep my brains, penis (testicles though..?) and my eyes. Everything else is replaceable, especially my right arm.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna1921 View Post
    More often than not I hate having to deal with a body at all.
    Then let me do that for ya.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    Then let me do that for ya.
    Pardon his behavior, new member. I just realized I have gained more grief than delight from his posts and hence put him on ignore. I humbly suggest you to do the same, milady.
    Last edited by Aquagraph; 03-16-2012 at 01:59 PM.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna1921 View Post
    @ Radio -- Just curious, where did you get 9 out of that?
    9 comes with minimizing one's needs and wants. Fewer the needs, the fewer things to keep track of and worry about, making more time for mindless routine to numb oneself from feeling negative emotion. In the social sphere, low-functioning 9s minimize their wants and needs w.r.t. to other people, as in isolation. Low-functioning 9s may end up completely disregarding their bodily needs, having a diet of easy-to-acquire junk food and beverages, doing nothing for hours on end. The 9's vice is not cowardice, it's apathy. Disengagement from the environment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Radio View Post
    9 comes with minimizing one's needs and wants. Fewer the needs, the fewer things to keep track of and worry about, making more time for mindless routine to numb oneself from feeling negative emotion. In the social sphere, low-functioning 9s minimize their wants and needs w.r.t. to other people, as in isolation. Low-functioning 9s may end up completely disregarding their bodily needs, having a diet of easy-to-acquire junk food and beverages, doing nothing for hours on end. The 9's vice is not cowardice, it's apathy. Disengagement from the environment.
    Just for the sake of further discussion:
    If you take away the negative qualities and replace them with positive qualities, this seems like it would fit INTp-Ni quite well.
    Converting your quote into my subjective interpretation:
    Quote Originally Posted by Radio View Post
    Ni comes with minimizing one's needs and wants. Fewer the needs, the fewer things to keep track of and worry about, making more time for mindful contemplation and proactivity from expressing negative emotion. In the social sphere, Ni minimizes their wants and needs w.r.t. to other people, as in isolation. Ni may end up completely disregarding their bodily needs, having a diet of easy-to-acquire junk food and beverages, not extroverting for hours on end; its vice is not cowardice, it's apathy. Disengagement from the environment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gambit View Post
    Just for the sake of further discussion:
    If you take away the negative qualities and replace them with positive qualities, this seems like it would fit INTp-Ni quite well.
    You kind of turned my low-functioning 9 description into an average-functioning 5.
    INTp and 5 go together well.

     
    • 5s minimize their wants and needs in order to be independent, 9s do it so as to not be a strain on other people; their motivations are different.
    • 5s are more likely to overwork themselves when stressed, 9s are more likely to narcotize themselves with mindless routine and passivity.
    • 5's source of neurosis is that they feel they are an outsider, an alien. And so they collect, save, study and understand objects inherent to life, in order to feel a connection with the world. 9's source of neurosis is that they feel they are a burden, that their existence is extraneous. And so, they minimize their requirements in order to streamline their relationship with the external world, to make meaningful connections in order to fit in, and feel wanted.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Pardon his behavior, new member. I just realized I have gained more grief than delight from his posts and hence put him on ignore. I humbly suggest you to do the same, milady.
    Parkster is the new Reuben. Smash Reuben, smash Parkster. Hulk smash. Seriously Parkster don't be so homosexual to newcomers, not everyone is gay.

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    Anna1921's Avatar
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    @Radio, thanks. I didn't mean minimizing my needs or wants, and I don't think I really implied that either, I just don't like dealing with caring for my body per se. Doesn't mean I don't see why it matters in some important ways, just means I hate that it does.

    Thanks though

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